WCW Thunder 7/8/99
Go home show for Bash at the Beach, which is shaping up to be the worst show ever.
Recap of the domestic violence on Nitro.
Kevin Nash comes to the ring. Nash is making the tag match at BATB a title match. That means that that ANYONE can pin Nash and be the champ. Including Sting, who is his tag team partner.
TO THE OVAL OFFICE. Dean barges in and heard a rumor that Ric pulled out of his match with Dean at the PPV due to a back injury. Flair's back is bad for carrying the company for 12 years. Ric will let everyone know who Dean is facing in front of the crowd. Arn's shorts are so short.
Recap of Eddie and his missing wallet.
Lenny Lane vs Eddie Guerrero
You know what really bothers me? Eddie was encouraged to come back to the ring way too early after his car crash. This caused him to be in intense pain and started his addiction to pain pills, which likely contributed to his death. And he was encouraged to come back early to have matches with guys like Lenny and Lodi. Not a huge push. Not even a push like Buff/Dean/Saturn/Benoit were getting. The match went on for a bout a minute when there was a ref bump. All the luchadors Eddie had been fucking with ran out and laid him out. Lenny wins.
TO THE BACK. Jimmy Hart invites La Parka and Silver King to the Junkyard Invitational.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Disco is with Gene. It is announced that Disco will be facing The Cat at BATB. Ernest Miller STINKS! Cat learned his karate from Tae Bo. "I watch a lot of infomercials myself."
Al Greene vs Van Hammer
Get the fuck out of here. Hammer wins with the cobra clutch slam. Rick Steiner came out and beat the shit out of him.
TO THE BACK. Jimmy Hart invites Horace to the Junkyard Invitational.
Recap of Bret's talk from Nitro.
Fit Finlay vs Brian Knobs
Thunder can suck my dick. Any show with Knobs in a singles match can
suck my dick. Any show that has Knobs in a tag match not against Cactus
Jack can suck my dick. Jerry Flynn and Hugh attacked Fit, causing a
DQ. Regal and Dave Taylor got involved. La Parka and Silver King then
came out. Then Whoreass. Sandman should come in and lay everyone out.
TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. The whole WCW Cabinet is in the ring. Piper is saying that Buff is the one who wanted a boxing match with Piper, because he was afraid that Piper would hurt him other wise. I guess he forgot he is the one who made that challenge. Ric says he isn't injured and instead is just busy and doesn't want to waste his time on Dean. Instead, Dean will face David Flair for the US Championship at the PPV. I'm pretty sure David is fucking asleep during this promo. If David wins, Gene will get to fuck Asya. Dean vs Ric was never even announced to begin with. They could have just as easily just made Dean vs David to begin with
West Texas Rednecks video.
Disco Inferno vs Kidman
Hey look, there is that guy who was in a hot tag team with Rey Mysterio, but was replaced with Konnan and hasn't done anything in 3 months that wasn't related to Rey. Dude is floundering hard. He has no match at the PPV. That makes me think he'll probably get the win just because WCW is that stupid and backwards. Steve Regal said he'd be in the Junkyard Invitational. Cat came out and kicked Kidman, giving him the win via DQ. He accidentally kicked Sonny and Disco hit the Last Dance on Cat.
The Triad come to the ring and DDP says a bunch of cheesy shit before claiming that they didn't lose the 6 man on Nitro. They throw to footage of the match. Benoit and Bam Bam weren't the legal guy, so they didn't lose. They're putting the titles on the line at the PPV. Well, that was already announced.
Chris Benoit vs Kanyon
During the match, Jimmy Hart invited Mikey Whipwreck to the Junkyard Invitational. Wouldn't it make more sense for him to want the least amount of people in the match so one of his guys have a better chance of winning? Nothing of interest happened in this match, which is ridiculous considering who was in the match and how long it was. But such is Thunder. Bam Bam and Saturn got involved. Benoit locked in the Iron Crossface. Bam Bam tried to break it with a diving headbutt, but hit Kanyon. Benoit hit a diving headbutt and won. DDP hit the ring and gave Benoit and the ref Kanyon Cutters. BANGS! Saturn got the Super Kanyon Cutter. SUPER BANG!
Recap of Megadeath being fucking terrible on Nitro. Oh hey, Goldberg's back. He's not on the PPV.
Curt Hennig vs Konnan
Fuck this show. Fuck WCW. Barry hit Konnan with a cow bell. Hennig wins.
DQ Count: 2 out of 6 matches.
Announced card for Bash at the Beach:
Kevin Nash/Sting vs Randy Savage/Sid WCW Championship
Buff Bagwell vs Roddy Piper Boxing Match
Dean Malenko vs David Flair WCW US Championship
Jersey Triad vs Saturn/Chris Benoit WCW Tag Team Championships
The Cat vs Disco Inferno
Rick Steiner vs Van Hammer WCW TV Championship
West Texas Rednecks vs No Limit Soldiers
Terrible card. Not only is it a terrible card in itself, but the build for pretty much all of it has been awful. Nash as the top face who kidnaps and holds women hostage and sprays people with shit. Savage as a guy who makes gay jokes and slaps women and throws his girlfriend for maybe being raped. Sid as a random guy. Sting as an after thought. And on the go home show Nash decides to change the rules so his own partner can pin him to win the title if he wants.
Piper (who literally can't work as he has one recently fixed hip and one that desperately needs to be replaced) vs Buff in a boxing match for NO REASON AT ALL other than Piper did a boxing match with Mr. T. 15 years prior. At no point has Buff made reference to or been shown to have any kind of boxing back ground. Piper made the challenge, Judge Mills Lane just happened to be in the arena (with his judge robe on) to agree to the be the ref, and then Piper said the very next show that Buff made the challenge and was pissed about it.
Disco and Cat have a match randomly announced on Thunder. It would have made a lot more sense for Cat and Jerry Flynn to have another match after the kickboxing match. Van Hammer asks for a title shot, gets Steiner, and then isn't on the next 3 shows. And he's only beaten jobbers and cruisers.
Master P refused to make any more appearances or do any more promotional work for HIS angle because he didn't like the reaction he got on his Nitro appearance. The reason he gave was because there weren't enough of "his people" in the crowd. It was in his home town, so if he isn't popular there, then he can go fuck himself. Pretty sure there are a whole lot of black people in New Orleans. No one involved from Bischoff down thought it was a good idea to have him and the NLS bully Curt Hennig, but he insisted on it. Then fans shit on it and he never came back.
Ric backs out of a match with Dean and puts David in it instead, even though at no point was Dean vs Ric ever announced. For some reason, Jimmy Hart is the one getting people in the Junkyard match, even though it was all Sandman's idea. And he wasn't even on the show. This will be the 3rd PPV in a row with no Cruiserweight Championship defense. This one doesn't even have A cruiserweight match at all.
I don't think there has been a single show in the last month and a half where there wasn't some combination of Triad vs Benoit/Saturn.