WCW Monday Nitro 7/5/99

Live from the Georgia Dome, for the last time ever.

Recap of last week, which ended in Nash laying out 8 men and walking out with Torrie and George.  We then get to see that awful shit from Thunder with "Sting" attacking Nash with a bat.  What we didn't see on Thunder was the girl that Sid got out of the trunk wasn't George, but was actually Torrie.  SWERVE!

Nitro Girls dance.  They're as in sync as the Usos.

During the show opening, you could clearly see no fans in the upper bowl at all, as well as 2/3rd of the stadium not being used at all.  Bret Hart will be here.  Ric Flair will also be here.  But more importantly, Megadeath will perform.  As will the West Texas Rednecks.

Juventud Guerrera vs Chavo Guerrero Jr.

I'm kind of amazed that Nash didn't go ahead and run an angle of Juvi vs the ramp.  Chavo is the one to fall on it this time.  SWERVE!  You can't recover from that on the same night it happens.  They should have just scrapped the match. They're both working heel.  Not much happened.  Chavo was trying to make the crowd forget he fell on his ass by awkwardly kissing the crowd, but it didn't work.  Sid and Savage came out and laid both guys out for a double DQ.  Sid was wearing the WCW Championship and Savage tried to kill Juvi with the elbow.  Sid rambles about nice people and shit his dad said.  "You've messed with this man's man.  This man's mind, excuse me."  Savage started to talk, but threw the mic back to Sid.  Nash is on a bed of coals and there is no one there to piss on him.  Nash pops up on the big screen with Torrie.  He challenges Sid to another match.  George walks in saying, "Did I just hear Randy?" and looking around like a baby deer.  Kevin Nash, the top face, has held a woman hostage for a week now and no one besides Sid and Savage seem to have a problem with it.

DJ Ran botches his promo.

TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE.  Ric and David come to the ring.  Ric strips Scott Steiner of the US Championship and gives it to David Flair.   Not even a storyline for it, no mention of an injury.  Just a "He hasn't been around, so I'm giving the belt to Big Dave" kind of thing.  Charles Robinson and the Ho Train bring David the belt.  Ric then had 10 women attack his son, but Ric then takes a few for himself.  I think they're going to be tag teaming as father and son tonight.  Gross.  Buff comes out.  He wants a match with David.  Ric agrees to it.  Buff starts dancing, but his music didn't play.  He even asked for it to play.  It never did.  Instead, we got to see a bumper for Megadeath still to come.

Vampiro vs Rick Steiner WCW TV Championship

They're doing a really terrible job of keeping any of Vamp's momentum up.  He shows up once a month, is super over, then vanishes.  Complete squash.  Match was probably 90 seconds long at the most.  Rick won with his awkward submission that he still hasn't figured how to apply.


TO THE BACK.  Lodi presents Lenny with new, matching tights.  Lodi is insisting that WCW won't care about them, because WCW is open minded.  Lenny trusts Lodi.  It ends with a pan to the doors which read, "Closet".  GET IT?!?!?

Bret Hart tribute video.  Too bad they had no clips of anything good since Bret was a chickenshit heel and injured for most of 1998.  It talks a lot about Owen with cheesy piano music over it.

Bret Hart comes to the ring.  He is very thankful to the fans and WCW for their condolences.  He basically gives a eulogy for Owen.  He was very proud of Owen.  He's unsure of what he wants to do with his life moving forward.  He mentions all the other top sports guys who were retiring in 1999 and were so happy about it, but it sucks for him.  If this is his last chance to address wrestling fans, he wants to thank them and thanks all the wrestlers in locker rooms around the world.

TO THE BACK.  Eddie Guerrero comes to Doug Dillinger, saying that someone stole his wallet.  He knows it was a masked wrestler and wants them all round up so he can pick out the thief.

DJ Ran wastes time.

The Cat vs Jerry Flynn Kick Boxing Match

Jimmy Hart now manages Flynn.  Rounds and everything.  "This is gonna be awkward."  Was this a response to the Brawl For All?  20 seconds left in the first round and the fans are loudly booing.  Cat starts round 2 with a cartwheel kick and is reprimanded for being on the match.  Flynn slips and is also reprimanded.  Fans hate this.  Cat is disqualified for striking a downed opponent. 

Lodi vs Van Hammer

Flock kind of peters out, I guess.  Hammer wins.  This show sucks.


Little Ceasar's commercial with Goldberg and Meng stopping their match to have pizza in the ring. This is sadly cut from the Network version, so there is no HD version of this gif.

TO THE BACK.  Doug Dillinger and security round up those illegal masked men.  Wait.

TO THE MEAN GENE. VP RP is the guest.  Why did they need to split up Flair and Piper segments?  Piper took so long to come out that Gene insinuated he was back there taking a shit.  Atlanta is now the birthplace of freedom in America.  Piper salutes the West Texas Rednecks because "Crap is rap", which he repeats incorrectly a few times.  Piper says that he's never met Sting.  Doesn't even know the guy.  He invites Sting to the ring.  It obviously isn't Sting.  It's a guy in a Sting mask, terrible wig, and he's barely taller than Gene.  He asks 6 questions to fake Sting, all revolving around Randy Savage.  Fake shakes his head no for every question.  Piper gives Sting a neckbreaker and pulls the mask off to reveal...someone.  What a giant waste of time that was.  Fans hated it.  Piper books himself in a boxing match with Buff at BATB.  JoJo and JUDGE MILLS LANE came out.  Mills Lane will be the ref.  "Let's get it on on Sunday in California, Florida!"  JoJo mouthed Lane's promo the whole time.  Piper for some reason was pissed about Mills Lane being the ref, even though obviously this was set up ahead of time, presumably BY Piper.

Nitro Girls dance and DJ Ran wastes more time.

Fit Finlay/Steve Regal vs Konnan/Rey Mysterio Jr.

Man, fucking Konnan is here to ruin Finlay AND Regal.  Why does Konnan wear motocross knee and elbow pads?  WCW has completely killed Rey and DDP for me.  The Rednecks came out and caused a DQ.

David Flair vs Buff Bagwell WCW US Championship

Buff hit the Blockbuster about a minute in.  Robinson wouldn't make the pin.  Buff put David in the figure four and small packaged Ric.  Arn got involved and then Dean hit the ring.  Asya was slammed by Buff.  Piper knocked Buff out and David pinned him.  FIVE run ins for a 3 minute match.

TO THE BACK.  Dillinger has all the masked men in a line up.  Eddie insists they have to take the masks off.  we see all the guys take their masks off from behind as Eddie reacts to all the ugly faces.  Weirdly, he says Hypnosis is a good looking guy.  The Cheetah Kid takes his mask off to reveal TAFKATAFKAPI, who hugs Eddie.  Blitz takes his mask off and Eddie laughs at him.  I absolutely could have seen this working out where WCW really had 6 luchadors have to take their masks off in a random backstage segment.

TO THE YO!  Hak and Chastity hijacked the feed.  The day Hak was born, he punched and choked his doctor.  Sandman gives a HEATED promo and sets up a Junkyard Invitational Match at BATB since Flair won't allow hardcore matches in arenas.  YO!

The West Texas Rednecks give a live performance.  Perfect gets big pops and pyro when he asks how many rednecks, good old boys, and how many people hate rap.  Barry isn't even touching his drums.  He's air playing real drums.  They played a truncated version of their song and the crowd boos heartily after the performance for wasting everyone's time.

Jersey Triad vs Dean Malenko/Saturn/Chris Benoit

The ring is full of trash before the match even starts, which shows you how popular the Rap Is Crap performance was. These guys aren't saving this show.  No one is saving this show.  But especially not YA LOVE ME, YA HATE ME, YOU'LL NEVER FORGET ME DDP.  He doesn't even find a way to work that into a sentence or end of a promo. That's the first thing he says.  I also don't want to see Bam Bam in anything besides hardcore matches.  Bam Bam missed a diving headbutt.  Saturn hit a Superfly Splash and Benoit then hit a diving headbutt.  Saturn made the cover.


TO THE MEGADEATH.  Fuck me.  I don't even like Megadeath at their best, so performing a lame song on a wrestling show is extra shitty.  And it is a TERRIBLE performance.  Jesus Christ.  Just awful.  At least 3 people sound out of tune, Mustaine looks like he doesn't even know the riff and has to keep staring at his guitar, which means he can't concentrate on lyrics.  And there is a mosh pit.  Fans were booing heavily after the performance until Goldberg growled, "I'm back", over the house mic.  That was honestly one of the worst things I've ever seen.  Besides the song being awful to being with, the performance was embarrassing.  Really, really bad. And it is completely absent from the Network version. 

Sid vs Kevin Nash WCW Championship

Nash says Savage will never get to see George again unless he leaves with the other two broads.  Fans are chanting for Goldberg instead of anything going on with the main event angle.  Savage left, but hit the ring about a minute later.  The ref doesn't call for the bell and lets this turn into a handicap match.  There was a ref bump.  Bogus Sting hits the ring.  The fans pop thinking it is the real Sting, but it obviously is the fake one.  He attacks Nash.  The real Sting runs down a bit later.  He saves Nash, only to get jackknifed for his troubles.  Nash takes off with the belt and then says what's left of George is in his locker room. There was a fan that tried to attack Savage, which is the second time this has happened during the Nash/Savage feud. Not because Savage is getting real heat, but because people are so mad about how fucking garbage the angle has been that they want to physically attack him.

TO THE BACK. We follow Savage to the back.  Kind of.  It actually cut to a shot of the ring and Sting walking to the back right after we were told we were following Savage to the back.  Finally, we get to see Savage in the back.  SEND FOR THE MAN.  He flips over a table, starts choking George for being kidnapped, slaps Torrie in the face for laughing, and then THROWS GEORGE OUT OF FRAME as she's screaming, "Why are you doing this to me?".  What the fuck. 


DQ Count: 3 out of 8.  The main event had no finish.

Let's recap the main angle.  Randy Savage got mad at Kevin Nash because he beat DDP, when DDP had promised Savage a title shot.  To show his anger, he put lipstick on Nash and called him gay for a few weeks.  Nash then spent two weeks dumping shit on Savage.  Savage then hires someone to repeatedly ram a Hummer into Nash's limo as it was pinned against a giant dumpster.  Then, Nash kidnaps Savage's girlfriend and holds her hostage for a week.  In the mean time, Savage has hired the Fake Sting to make Nash think the real Sting was against him, and also stole the WCW Championship.  On the night that Savage is allowed to get George back, he chokes her for Nash possibly raping her, slaps her friend in the face, and then throws George, again because of what Nash might have done to her.

This was the last time WCW ran the Georgia Dome.  They ran it in January and had around 35K paid fans.  In July, they had around 17K.  I'm sure if they had tried to run it at the end of the year or in 2000, they would have had less than 10K.  This whole show was AWFUL.  Megadeath had one of the worst live performances of any band I've ever seen, and just for fun they had a gimmicked comedy musical performance before it.  They had two fake Stings, only to have the real Sting finally show up at the end of the show, get powerbombed by someone he was helping, and slowly walk out as if cameras weren't even on him.  Fans booed the shit out of the kickboxing match, Piper's fake Sting, both musical performances, and the main event.  Garbage was thrown even at Sting and Nash.  Fans were pissed at how shitty this show was.  I'm pissed at how shitty this show was.  Just terrible.

And let's not forget the two gay dudes who literally dress in the closet.