WCW Slamboree 5/9/99

Dean Malenko/Chris Benoit vs Raven/Saturn vs Rey Mysterio Jr./Kidman WCW Tag Team Championships

Maybe not the best idea to start the show off with what will clearly be the best match on the show.  Kidman and Saturn start by double teaming Dean.  I guess 3 men will be in the ring at all times.  Both Horsemen are sent to the floor and Kidman walks into a Saturn lariat.  Belly to belly to the floor.  Gross.  That's a spot in pretty much every Saturn/Kidman match and Kidman always lands so rough.  He gets back in the ring and takes a German suplex/dropkick combo.  Rey, Raven, and Benoit are now in.  Rey does a rana and slingshot leg drop to Benoit.  Raven tries to steal a pin.  He sends Rey into the corner and Benoit/Kidman take Raven out.  BK Bomb.  Kidman kind of misses a Superfly splash.  I don't know what happened.  Gourdbuster/frog splash combo to Benoit.  Rey is popped up to the top rope, only to land on his feet and do a moonsault.  Saturn and Raven are the only ones left in the ring.  Saturn does an awkward pescado that mostly missed everyone.  Diving headbutt on Raven.  Horsemen are in clear control, keeping Saturn in the ring, and keeping everyone else out.  Double Flapjack Norton to Rey.  Saturn wipes out Kidman with a super kick.  He then puts Kidman on the ropes and does a springboard clothesline, sending both to the floor.  Benoit does the same thing.  Rolling Reich to Saturn.  Flapjack Norton to Kidman.  Saturn knocks Benoit off the apron, only for Dean to send him to the floor right after.  He spits at Rey and Benoit beats the shit out of Saturn on the floor.  DEAN, YOU CAN POWERBOMB KIDMAN!  Dragon suplex to Kidman.  Rey breaks the pin, but the Horsemen are dominating.  Raven gets a tag and does the Three Amigos to Benoit.  Double lariatoo to Benoit.  Rey comes in.  Rana to Saturn.  Gargoyle suplex to Benoit.  Kidman with a flying lariatoo to Benoit, and Rey with a diving rana to Saturn.  Dean again tries to powerbomb Kidman, which Kidman counters into a sunset flip.  Pop up super rana from the champs. Saturn breaks the pin.  They try it to Saturn, who turns it into a sit out superbomb.  YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB KIDMAN!  I can forgive Saturn for thinking it was possible since Dean did it earlier.  Spinebuster to Saturn!  Someone with a Sting mask and DDP shirt trips Kidman while he's on the ropes.  Dean has Saturn in the Cloverleaf.  Raven does a hanging Evenflow.  The ref makes the pin.  New champions!  The fan was Kanyon! BANG! 

Konnan vs Stevie Ray


Nah.  Rey came out and took out the B Team, then cost Stevie the match. THEN ran out of the ring RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE REF, who didn't seem to care that a 10 year old in bib overalls had been in the ring. 

TO THE BACK.  DDP and Bam Bam have some kind of covert conversation.

Brian Knobs vs Bam Bam Bigelow King of Hardcore


This is now also a falls count anywhere match.  Well, it is a hardcore match.  Doesn't that kind of come with the territory?  Neither guy has entrance music.  Bam Bam might be the worst dude ever at throwing weapons in the ring.  Over 50% bounced off the ropes and back to the floor.  Really generic match of trash cans and cookie sheets.  I see no reason why Knobs was brought back in for this stuff.  They should have just stolen another dude from ECW.  Knobs is the worst and, more importantly, is a straight up dangerous and unsafe worker who looks like he intentionally tries to injure people every time he's in the ring.  They're running the TWA Dome and this match showed that only half of the arena was being used.  They used 75% of the arena for Nitro at the end of 1998.  Knobs tries to jump from the top of the merch stand.  Instead of landing on the table, he over shot and still landed on Bam Bam, who had moved from the table.  I assume that was supposed to be the finish because Bam Bam suplexed Knobs through the table right after and got the pin.

Rick Steiner vs Booker T. WCW TV Championship

Still not sure why Rick is so mad at Book.  It bums me out that Booker is in the same spot he was at this time last year.  No upward movement. It seemed like he was getting moved up, since he beat Bret Hart, but then they panicked when Hall got hurt and threw the TV Championship back to him.  A few Steinerlines and a belly to belly frustrate Book.  He comes back with a spin kick.  Side elbow takes Rick down and he slows it down with a chin lock.  Another kick.  Stun gun from Rick.  He sends Book to the floor.  Book is sent into a few guard rails.  Release German suplex.  This opens up Rick to be a complete dick head for a while.  Book comes back with a suplex, but it didn't matter.  Side slam.  Missile dropkick!  Scott Steiner ran in.  Booker knocked him off the apron.  Steinerline.  Book kicked out.  He then sends Rick into Scott and does a Harlem side kick.  Rick kicks out.  Scott trips Book up.  Top rope bulldog.  New champion!

TO THE BACK. Rick looks for Scott.  Buff confronts him about it.  He tells Buff to watch out for Scott and good luck later tonight.

Gorgeous George vs Charles Robinson

If George wins, Randy Savage is reinstated.  He already was reinstated by Piper, and then that decision stood, because he was booked in a match even after Piper was fired and this match was made.  It makes no sense at all.  Charles Robinson has his own Flair robe, a Flair hair cut and dye job, and even has his fingers taped the same.  Ric makes it clear he's always wanted to fuck Madusa.  Charles Robinson's body looks like late 90s Giant Baba, but shrunk down to fun size.  After a lot of stalling, George locks on a full arm drag and twist and then a hammerlock.  Robinson reverses it.  She reverses the reversal.  Full nelson.  Snapmare.  The Nature Boys get bumped into each other.  Flair and Savage have a face off.  Molly Holly and Robinson fight over a chair, so he attacks her and slams her.  He then gets into a fight with Brady Boon.  I like that Robinson wrestles as if George were a dude, but because he's so small and unintimidating, there is nothing weird or awkward about it.  He's barely bigger than her.  Lol, he does the Flair Flip better than Flair had done it since the 80s.  He takes the press slam from the top, a lariatooo, and then does the Flair Flop.  Asya tries to hurt George's knee.  Madusa kicks her in the head.  Robinson then goes to work on the knee in the ring.  Knee breaker.  Figure four! She reverses it.  Flair breaks it up.  Savage knocks him out of the ring and low blows Robinson.  George drops an elbow from the second rope.  Randy Savage is reinstated!  George sells her leg after the match better than anyone on the show so far. 

Scott Steiner vs Buff Bagwell WCW US Championship

Super awkward video package before the match.  It was literally just cutting back and forth from promos with no music or reason for edits.  Buff starts and is on fire!  Well, until he gets hit in the stuff.  Twice.  Reverse Oklahoma stampede.  Buff is thrown to the floor and thrown into everything you can be thrown into while out there.  Tree of Keanu neck wrench.  Scott spends the next few minutes beating the hell out of Buff.  Spinning belly to belly.  Scott gets a chair, but Buff knocks it back in his face and goes on the offense.  Scott pulls the ref in front of a lariatoo.  Buff picks up the chair.  Rick Steiner comes out and convinces him to go up top for the Blockbuster.  He then hits Buff with it.  SWERVE!  Steiner Recliner for the win.  The Steiner Brothers have reunited!

Goldberg hype video.

Nash/DDP/Goldberg/Sting promo.

Roddy Piper vs Ric Flair Winner Gets Control of WCW


This is probably going to be pretty awful.  Flair fires Johnny Boon and brings Charles Robinson in as the ref.  Flair threatens to fire Piper.  Piper was fired three weeks ago.  Piper slaps him in the face and the match is on.  Flair bails after a back drop.  Terrible punch combo.  Two old, flabby guys in their underwear having a terrible wrestling match. Flair's fortunes turn around after a low blow, to which Robinson responds, "What's the matter?  Your stomach hurt?".  That was the highlight so far.  Asya comes in and hits a low blow.  At least Hogan and Savage had the decency to stay in shape when they were hanging around way past their primes.  Piper looks in worse shape every time he shows up.  This sucks.  I legitimately never want to see Roddy Piper again.  I don't even want to watch stuff from his prime.  Piper does a sunset flip.  He holds on to Flair's tights, so fans get to see his ass again. This time, though, Piper holds on and Flair runs around the ring with Piper hanging on to his tights with his ass hanging out.  Piper locks on a figure four.  Arn breaks it.  Sleeper on Arn.  Sleeper on Flair.  Asya beaks it up.  Piper forces himself on her and puts her in a sleeper.  That's bullshit.  Asya would rip him apart.  Robinson breaks it and gets decked.  Flair gets an international object out.  He decks Piper with and is still in control of WCW.  This brings Eric Bischoff out.  He says he's screwed a lot of things up, but he's not screwing this up.  He claims Piper won and Flair can bite him.  Piper and Bischoff have an awkward hug.  Piper fires Flair.  No idea how Bischoff has the power to reverse the decision, since he has zero power story wise. 

Goldberg vs Sting

The very first move is a botch.  It was a powerslam that Sting slipped out of, and then slipped on the mat.  So they try the spot again.  A lariatoo sends Goldberg to the floor.  Goldberg blocks a hip toss, does a fireman carry, and slaps on an arm bar.  Sting drop kicks the already injured knee.  Boston crab.  Goldberg powers out.  Sting then locks on a chin lock.  Vertical suplex.  Goldberg no sells and hits a front chancery suplex and power neck breaker.  Goldberg misses a spear in the corner.  Flying lariatoo from Sting.  Stinger splash.  Another.  The 3rd one was counted into a spear.  BRET HART comes out, throws the ref out, and beats Goldberg with a chair.  Match is thrown out.  Then the Steiner Brothers run out and attack Sting.  Their Nitro match last year was so much better.

A bizarrely long wait for Michael Buffer.  To fill time, the announcers start talking about Bret Hart.  Buffer's mic isn't working right and he can only be heard by the live crowd.  At no point did the announcers say anything about the technical difficulties, they just sat in silence while Buffer did his spiel, also in silence.

Kevin Nash vs DDP WCW Championship

DDP goes for the Kanyon Cutter right away, but gets shoved off and knocked to the floor.   DDP out speeds Nash, but Nash catches him with a knee.  DDP bails to the apron, thumbs his nose, and gets knocked off.  Snake eyes on the guard rail.  Nash does all of his moves in the corner.   DDP comes back with punches and elbows of his own.  He keeps trying for 10 count punches, but is shoved off every time.  Low blow.  DDP takes off a turn buckle pad.  He tells the ref about it, which allows him to get a wrench or something on the other side of the ring.  Nash kicked out.  He then pulled DDP into the exposed buckle.  DDP kicked out.  Nash is sent to the floor.  Baseball slide from DDP.  Kanyon Cutter on the floor.  BANG!  Nash kicked out when he was finally rolled back into the ring.  Why wouldn't DDP just leave him out there and win by count out?  DDP wraps Nash's leg around the ring post a few times.  He attempts the figure four, but Nash's shoves him off.  Nash gets up and does snake eyes on the exposed buckle.  Balls to the back.  Nash hits the jackknife.  Randy Savage hits the ring and attacks Nash.  The match is thrown out.  Eric Bischoff comes back out.  He restarts the match and if Ted Turner or Harvey Schiller have a problem with it, they can call him.  DDP does the worst sleeper I've ever seen.  Nash locks on one of his own.  DDP gets out with a jaw breaker.  He grabs a chair and misses Nash.  The chair rebounds off the ropes and hits DDP.  Nash was about to use the chair himself, but DDP did a low blow.  Nash boots the chair back into DDP.  Jackknife.  New champion! 

DQ Count: 1 out of 9 matches.

This show sucked.  It was all down hill after the opener.  All 3 of the main event matches ended in DQ, with two of them being restarted or reversed by Eric Bischoff, who storywise has been completely out of power for 5 months now.  No one should be listening to him about anything.  Piper should have been the one to restart the main event, since he's now the president of WCW, even though he had been fired twice and shouldn't have even been allowed on the show.  Steiner Brothers reuniting as heels is stupid.  Are Goldberg and Sting really going to get into feuds with TV and US Champions?  What's most disappointing is this show actually had quite a bit of build and effort put into it, but none of that effort was there when it came to the show itself.

DDP completely comes off as a loser since he only won and retained the title with Savage (both times) and loses the first time he can't rely on Savage to bail him out.  Also, what was the point of showing him talking to Bam Bam on this show if Bam Bam wasn't going to play a part in the main event?  Why didn't Bischoff restart Sting/Goldberg?  Why was a comedy match featuring two non-wrestlers the second best match on the show?  The Wolfpac is completely dead, right?  That would make the B Team the A Team by default.  Nitro and Thunder were both preempted for the next week, so I hope they got to think about what made this show so shitty in their time off.