NWA WCW Chi-Town Rumble 1989

JR and Magnum TA introduce us to the show and run down the card.

MIchael Hayes vs Russian Assassin 1

FUCK. The only thing worse than a Michael Hayes tag match is a Michael Hayes singles match. PS looks like a straight up date rapist. I have no doubt he slipped thousands of mickies in the 80s. He probably still does it. He probably roofies himself on a weekly basis. Greasy, furry fuck head. Dude just looks like a full on scum bag who would fuck your mom and steal your couch on the same night. Or ask his nephew if he can borrow some money and never pay it back. Or the kind of guy who has a lot of money, but still always asks to bum a beer or smoke. The kind of guy who asks you to drive him to the airport and doesn't give you gas money. The kind of guy who uses your razor on his balls and puts it back. The kind of guy who would put your remote inside of a girl. The kind of guy who purposely clogs your toilet. The kind of guy who would ash on your carpet. The kind of guy who would steal your wallet and go with you to beat up a guy he said actually stole it. Just a total twat on every level. They have an unimaginably boring match which Hayes wins with a DDT.

TO THE CAUDLE. Bob talks with Ricky Steamboat and his family. Young Richie Steamboat is fascinated with the microphone, which is quite ironic if you ever heard his promos in NXT. Ricky isn't trying to set any records like Flair. He's coming to win the title.

Sting vs Butch Reed

Sting's face paint is pretty rad tonight. As is his tubular rat tail. He quickly fires off an atomic drop, much to the surprise of the Natural. A lot of stalling from Butch. Sting can't hip toss him, so he flips and does an arm drag instead, followed with dropkicks that sends Butch to the floor. Sting works the shit out of a headlock and nearly wins with a back slide. Sting is biting! What a cheater! Butch slows the pace down and keeps Sting on the mat. Reed falls out of the ring missing a lariat because he's completely gassed. He shouldn't be, because most of his offense has been a side headlock. He's quickly back on the offense, again with a chin lock and stoogy heel tactics. Sting starts firing up. Reed stops the momentum by throwing Sting to the floor for I think the 4th time. Butch tries to win by holding onto the ropes on a sunset flip. Teddy kicked his hands off the ropes and Sting got the pin. Not very interesting. 

TO THE CAUDLE. Bob talks with Paul E. Dangerously and the Original Midnight Express. Jack Victory has replaced Dennis Condrey because Cornette's Midnights wouldn't know him. The real reason was because Condrey decided to quit a few days before this event. Elsewhere, Bob spoke to Cornette and the Midnight Express. They trained for Condrey, but they can still handle Paul's team.

The Midnight Express vs The Original Midnight Express Loser Leaves NWA

Paul does a Hogan style shirt rip and throws it at Corny. Oh shit, Paul and Corny are in the match as well. Lane and Rose start out. Rose is rocking a pony tailed mullet. Lots of quick tags from the Midnights. Paul E. accidentally hits Rose. Eaton gets chucked off the apron into the railing. Paul gets tagged in. He ducks a punch and immediately tags back out. Cornette tags in and wants Paul E. I'd rather see Paul and Cornette than Jack Victory. Finally, the managers collide. Paul should do a moonsault. Corny has pretty decent punches for a non-worker. As soon as he decks Paul, Paul tags out. Hot tag to Stan. Not a lot going on in this. Crowd is all over Paul, though. Randy's dancing is pretty dope at least. It was a take off on Stan's dance and I think it was better. Hot tag to Bobby. Missile dropkick to Victory. He forces a tag to Paul. Cornette gets the tag. Lariat! Stan starts doing awkward karate. All hell is breaking loose! Double Flapjack Norton. Cornette's Midnights win! Paul E. and the Original Midnight Express are gone from the NWA.

TO THE CAUDLE. Bob talks with Ric Flair, who is in a much different state of mind than Steamboat. He's coked up and in his suit, being his normal braggadocios self. He guarantees victory tonight.

Rick Steiner vs Mike Rotunda NWA TV Championship

Rick had defeated IRS to win the title at Starrcade. Scott is in the corner of Rick tonight. It's kind of interesting how Rick and Scott traded bodies over the years. Young Rick was JACKED. Way more than he ever was in the 90s. Scott was in great shape, but not anything crazy yet. Around 1995ish, Scott took all of Rick's muscle and got bigger and bigger while Rick got softer and softer. Rick out wrestles IRS in multiple exchanges. IRS resorts to a cheap shot and a stiff European uppercut. Steinerline! IRS wants a handshake. Rick doesn't fall for it. Abdominal stretch! Classic IRS. I forgot to mention, he's been drenched with sweat since the opening exchange. The pace picks up, ending with an awkward trip/monkey flip from Rick. Back body drop. Rick misses a Superfly splash. IRS posts him and kicks him in the liver. What a dick move. Back in the ring, Rick hits a powerslam, but spends too much time barking that it gives IRS time to kick out of the pin. Kevin Sullivan comes out and implies he did something to Rick's dog in the locker room. Rick wants to go follow him. Scott and Teddy won't let him. Saito suplex from IRS. Rick is busted open above the right eye. 5 minutes left. Rear naked choke from Rick. Rick's shoulders are down and he is counted out. New champion! IRS regains the title.

TO THE CAUDLE. Bob speaks with the Road Warriors. Hawk talks about Wyatt Earp and O.K. Corall. Animal is going to rip heads off.

Barry Windham vs Lex Luger NWA US Championship

At least there should be a lariat in this. Lex was coming off of some heart breaking losses to Ric Flair at the GAB and Starrcade. Press slam WITH THE GREATEST OF EASE! The president of the Chicago White Sox is shown in the crowd. He looks like a creep. Lex holds on to an Irish whip and pulls Barry with him all the way to the corner. He blocks an atomic drop and hits a pretty explosive short lariat. Powerslam. Lex misses a top rope cross body and rolls all the way to the floor. Fans are definitely into heels in Chicago. Lex's eye has been busted open somehow. Lariat! It was more like an Undertaker style than normal Windham style and individual frames show it was actually a flying punch. Barry ends up hitting the ring post with his claw hand, cutting it open. Also, these two were former tag team champions together. The CLAW! Lex is able to break it by squeezing the injured hand. Walking powerslam from Barry. Lex kicks out WITH AUTHORITY. Barry is really favoring his hand. Superplex! Fans pop big for it. German suplex. Looks like Luger got his shoulder up first. Lex wins! New champion! Kind of weird to do basically the same finish two matches in a row. Barry plants Lex with a piledriver on the belt after the match.

TO THE CAUDLE. Bob speaks with new TV Champion, Mike Rotunda. He had this all planned and Rick better stay out of his sweaty, sweaty face.

Road Warriors vs Varsity Club NWA World Tag Team Championships

Sullivan and Animal start the match. Being that this is Chicago, LOD are obviously super over faces even though I believe they were still heels at the time. Dr. Death quickly tags in. Powerslam from Animal. Hawk tags in and gets press slammed. Hawk responds with a lariat. Sandwich lariats from LOD. Tags are made. Animal is double teamed, thrown to the floor, and hit with a chair in the shoulder. Doc hits almost a leg lariat, the Ryder/Doug Basham type, not the D'Lo/Dean type. Animal plays the FIP. Hot tag to Hawk. He's a clubberin. He quickly gets posted. Animal gets Sullivan up for the Doomsday Device. Doc clobbers him. Hawk hits a diving lariat on Sullivan anyway. Doc pins Animal as Hawk pins Sullivan. Teddy counts the fall for Hawk. Titles retained. Another kind of similar finish?

TO THE CAUDLE. Bob speaks with new US Champion, Lex Luger.

Ric Flair vs Ricky Steamboat NWA Championship

Steamer immediately hits a shoulder block and gets a surprise near fall. Ric drops down to block a second, only for Steamboat to drop into a headlock and follow up with a roll up. Flair is legit shook. Chops are traded. Flair begs off. One of my favorite things about Flair is when he is both shit talking and begging off at the same time. Ricky gets a headlock and won't let go for anything. More chop trading, ending with a double chop from Steamboat. Flair again bails and is still shook. A drop down/leapfrog/criss cross spot ends with a double chop that sends Flair straight to the floor. Hip toss, head scissors, dropkick. Dragon is on a roll. Back to the headlock. Flair gets to his feet and breaks it with a hair pull.  A chop sends Flair over the top rope. That could be a DQ, but the match continues. Flair gets in some cheap shots on the floor, using the ring and guard rail. Knee drop. Butterfly suplex. Flair Flip! HE HITS THE TOP ROPE CROSSBODY! But Steamboat rolls through for a near fall that drove the fans crazy. Figure four. Fans are probably 70/30 in favor of Flair. A crossbody sends both men over the top, again something that could be a DQ if the ref was so inclined. Flair posts Ricky and gets back in the ring. Steamboat tries a desperation something off the second rope and misses. Bridge spot turns into a backslide, which is turned into a butterfly suplex by Steamboat. Steamboat fires up. Top rope chop. Cross body! Tommy Young was caught in the impact of the move. Flair scores a school boy with a handful of tights, but Young is down anyway. Steamboat misses a second cross body. Flair goes for the figure four. Small package. New champion!

Not the strongest show. A 15 minute Michael Hayes match is about the worst possible way to start a show. 3 wacky and too similar finishes in a row. Steamboat/Flair was rad. Barry/Lex was pretty good. The rest ranged from bad to passable.