WCW Capital Combat 1990
Not only is this the return of Robocop, it is the return of Tony Schiavone! JR and Bob Caudle will be doing announcing duties, but Tony is back as host after a year stint in the WWF. He lost a lot of weight in his time there.
Bam Bam Big Yellow/Cactus Jack/Kevin Sullivan vs Road Warriors/Norman The Lunatic
Call me crazy, but LOD rolling in riding bitch on bikes doesn't make them seem badass at all. Norman comes out on a scooter, yet actually comes off more bad ass since he was driving it himself. Animal and Cactus start the match. I expect Cactus is going to take a couple big bumps from LOD. Powerslam. Big boot. Tag to Hawk. He wipes Cactus out. Cactus tags in Bam Bam. Standing dropkick from Hawk. Cactus has Bam Bam Irish whip him for speed on the Cactus Clothesline, only for Hawk to move and Cactus go sailing over the ropes. He then goes sailing over the guardrail moments later. Then gets the god damn steps chucked at him. Norman ends up caught in the ring and is FIP for quite a while. Cactus does Macho's rope neck snap thing...and ends up taking a header over the ropes while doing it. Zero fear for his well being. It's a wonder he was able to do anything by the time he got to the WWF. Things break down. Hawk hits a flying lariat on Sullivan for the win. I'm pretty sure neither man were legal.
Mean Mark vs Johnny Ace
No longer a Dynamic Dude, this will end up being Johnny's last on screen WCW appearance. Taker wouldn't make too many more appearances for WCW either, as he'd be in the WWF before the end of the year. Mean Mark's favorite pet is a snake and his favorite singer is Ozzy Osbourne, so you know he's a rough individual. Taker gets an early lariato but misses an elbow drop. Johnny dropkicks him out of the ring and follows it with a suicide dive. Cross body. Arm bar! Taker gets pissed and throws Ace into the stairs. Stalling suplex. Flying lariat. Big boot. Leg drop. Taker staples. Johnny briefly fires up, only to miss a flying cross body. Taker hits the heart punch. He then does a rope walking elbow drop to win the match.
TO THE BACK. Gordon Solie heads to Sting's locker room, which is being guarded by security guards. Gordon is unable to get a word with the Stinger. Sting is at the show tonight, along with Robocop, to protect all the little Stingers.
TO THE SCHIAVONE. Tony talks with the RNRs about the strap match they have against...The Freebirds. FUCK.
Samoan Swat Team vs Mike Rotunda/Tommy RIch
IRS is still Captain Mike, but instead of captain of the wrestling team, he's now a nautical captain, complete with anchors on his gear and a pilot's cap. The SST are again Tama and Fatu, having dropped the New Wild Samoans name and Samu/Oliver Humperdink completely it seems. I really don't know how I never knew Tama and Fatu were twins until the last show. I thought Tama had to have been older since he was in the WWF so early into his career. But now that I see them, they look the same except for different facial hair and Tama's nose being a bit wider. Rich and Tama start the match. Cross body from Rich. Tama begs off. Fatu slips in and Randy Anderson notices he isn't looking at the same person, but allows him to stay in the ring anyway. I can see why Vince had IRS cover all of his body up. Very weird and unimpressive looking up body on that sweaty guy. ALL I can think about whenever I see Tommy Rich is that weird promo from Memphis where he rambled about his mom fucking guys that weren't his dad once his dad left and how it took him a long time not to resent those guys for fucking his mom, but his dad for leaving. The faces do fake tags. Randy Anderson again realizes the wrong man is in the ring, but lets it stand. At least he's consistent. Tama gets his arm worked for a while. He comes back with a huge side slam on IRS and baits Rich into distracting the ref like a putz. This is the closest we'll get to Evil Dead 4: Bruce Campbell vs the Army of Samoans. IRS gets sent over the top rope. Ash gets kicked right in the giant chin. Tama comes off the rope with a forearm to the head while Rich has Fatu in a sleeper. SST win. I have no idea why this was nearly 20 minutes long.
TO THE SCHIAVONE. Tony talks to the Steiners about putting their titles on the line against Doom. Lol, Scott calls Tony, "Tommy".
Paul Ellering vs Teddy Long Hair vs Hair Match
Ellering was still in great shape. Actually, Teddy is in much better shape than you'd imagine. Teddy has boxing gear on and gets to the early advantage. Teddy apparently loads his glove or something. Paul wins with Teddy's own loaded glove. What's left of Teddy's hair is shaved.
TO THE SCHIAVONE. Tony talks to the Horsemen. Sid in a tux is so strange.
Midnight Express vs Tom Zenk/Brian Pillman NWA US Tag Team Championships
Cornette is locked in a shark cage for the match. Corny tries to run away, only to run into Randy Anderson. Bobby and Pillman run through some early US cruiser spots. Bobby and Zenk trade arm holds on the mat. Bobby ends up getting back dropped over the top as Stan gets brought in the hard way. Midnights are having a rough time. A lot of quick tags from the face team. Bobby low bridges Pillman and hits a neckbreaker on the floor. As Pillman gets back to the apron, Stan knocks him off, sending him into the guard rail. Some sweet double teaming in the ring. Bobby hits a rad slingshot back suplex into a back breaker. Pillman stays as FIP for a bit. Flying elbow from Bobby. Brian is busted open from something that I missed. Alabama Jam! Eaton is so dope. He makes Stan look so bad. Especially at this point , where I believe Stan already had the back injury that would be responsible for ending his in ring career. Hot tag to Zenk. He's quickly taken out. Rocket Launcher. 1-2-HEGOTHIMNOHEDIDN'T! Bobby gets a sneaky small package on Zenk. New champions! This got so much more enjoyable once they settled into the Midnights doing double teams to Pillman.
TO THE SOLIE. My god, it's ROBOCOP!
Sting comes to the ring with Robocop! My goodness, the Horsemen have locked Sting in the cage! Robocop, help! Help the Stinger, Robocop! The nation's number one law enforcement officer has saved the Stinger! The Horsemen run away. Your move, creeps.
TO THE SCHIAVONE. Tony talks with the returning Junkyard Dog. Jim Cornette interrupts and is upset because this was supposed to be time for the Midnights to talk about their win. I'm pretty sure JYD implied that he fucked Corny's mom.
Fabulous Freebirds vs Rock N Roll Express Corporal Punishment
FUUUUUUCK. RNRs come out on a cart with a jukebox on it. How these guys were ever considered cool or pretty boys blows my mind. I mean, their in ring stuff is one thing, but neither guy was good looking at all and they came out to 50s style rock 40 years later, when things like GNR and NWA were huge. And then the Freebirds were basically the wrestling version of Stryper. The rules of this match aren't like a normal strap match. Instead, the straps are attached to the ring posts and can be used whenever someone is in the corner. Michael Hayes is the kind of guy who would use a strap on a baby. The kind of guy would would cut an old woman with a razor. The kind of guy who would hold someone hostage. The kind of guy who would would repeatedly rape and impregnate that hostage. The kind of guy who would threaten to kill the kids if the hostage got free. The kind of guy who would use those kids as drug mules. The kind of guy who would watch all of those kids shower into their teens. The kind of guy who would inject a cat with heroin just to see what would happen. The kind of guy who throws rocks at animals in the zoo. The kind of guy who litters every day for fun. The kind of guy who would break tail lights for no reason. The kind of guy who would run down homeless people. The kind of guy who would steal from veterans. The kind of guy who would love to control a drone and kill innocents. The kind of guy who supports Jerry Sandusky. The kind of guy who thinks the Catholic Church gets a bad rap. Ricky Morton pins Hayes with a sunset flip to get the win.
TO THE SCHIAVONE. Tony talks to Doug Furnas, who thinks Lex will win the title tonight. Tony then talks to Sting. This is Lex's big night. Lex was also hospitalized and is putting himself at risk to have the match tonight, but it is the same thing Sting would do.
Doom vs Steiner Brothers NWA World Tag Team Championships
I expect Ron Simmons is going to get dropped on his head in this match. Rick removes Teddy's wave cap to reveal...the same haircut he had before his match with Ellering. He was already bald on top and the only thing they did was cut a little off the sides of the horse shoe. Scott and Ron start the match. Scott knocks Ron down a few times and hits a powerslam. Release German suplex. Butch tags in and goes to work. Scott gets him down and stomps on his face. Dropkick. Rick tags in. He tries a Steinerline and bounces off of Reed. Inverted piledriver. JEEEEEEEEEZUS. Looks so dangerous. Huge high knee from Reed. It was rad. Scott plays FIP for a while. Scott hits a desperation t-bone only to get smashed with a lariat moments later. Piledriver. Shoulder block. Scott comes back with a weird powerslam. They redo the spot and it turns into a weird back drop. Frankensteiner! Hot tag to Rick. Steinerline. Powerslam. Double suplex. Doom hits a modified Doomsday Device. Rick goes for a belly to belly superplex on Reed. Ron hits him from behind and they fall off the ropes. Butch lands on Rick and gets the pin. New champions!
TO THE SCHIAVONE. Tony talks with Teddy and Doom, celebrating their win.
Lex Luger vs Ric Flair NWA Championship Steel Cage Match
God damn, this is the 5th time Lex and Flair have had a match in 8 PPVs. This is in the Thunderdome cage, but it isn't billed as Thunderdome any more. Woman gets checked for international objects. She has one in her glove. She shouldn't even be allowed inside the cage to begin with. It's the same match as their previous 4. Flair bleeds as much as he's ever bled. As Lex began to fire up, the Horsemen came out. Sting ran out to prevent them from interfering. El Gigante shows up and save Sting. The cage raises. Barry Windham sneaks in and attacks Lex, causing a DQ in a championship cage match on a WCW PPV. It's like they time traveled finishes 10 years. Arn, Barry, and Flair destroy Lex and the cage drops back down. Sting can't get in. He should call for Robocop! The cage comes up and the Horsemen run off.
Another subpar show. WCW seemed to be on a string of them. Part of that is due to Sting's injury ruining plans and forcing them to go back to Lex vs Flair. Doom vs Steiners was my match of the night. I hope to not see any more Lex/Flair matches for a long, long time.