WCW Road Wild 8/8/98

Tenay looks like a fucking goof in is jean jacket and sunglasses. Tony looks like a creep in his leather jacket and sunglasses. 

Meng vs Barbarian

They start out doing a full on Sumo match. Barb hits a belly to belly and goes for the powerbomb. Meng reverses and hits a piledriver. He misses a diving headbutt, but hits a super kick. They go up top and Barb hits a top rope belly to belly. Meng comes back with a powerslam that actually got 3, but the ref said it was 2. Meng goes after Jimmy. They get into a chop/headbutt battle. Barb loads his boot up, but turns around right into the Tongan deathgrip. Jimmy tries to fight Meng off and calls Hugh in. They hold him down so Jimmy can hit a Superfly splash. Then Hugh hits the moonsault. Jim Duggan runs out to make the save. 

Dancing Fools vs Public Enemy

Who is this crowd supposed to support? It’s a 100% biker crowd, and this match has a German who dances to techno, a guy who dances to disco music, a Japanese guy who does a lot of pelvic thrusting, and two white guys who think they’re black gangsters from 1993. It doesn’t seem like the most thought out match for this crowd. Never mind that these two teams have faced off at least 3 times in the last month and a half. You need to book for your crowd. This is not booking for your crowd. Alex and Rocco start out. After some dancing, Disco gets tagged and gets his ass beat. They recoup and Alex Wright hits a missile dropkick. More dancing. Double Flapjack Norton to Disco. Alex brings in a trash can and uses it. I guess this is no dq now. Rocco comes back with a ladder. He uses it once and throws it out of the ring. Disco and Alex pack up and leave. Magnum stays around. The Fools come back out with a table. Two tables now. Disco gets on the mic and says it is a street fight. The ref agrees. No shit. PE leave and come back with a kitchen sink and toilet seat. Suplex on a trash can. Kitchen sink to the back of Grunge. This is a mess. Disco and Alex aren’t used to using weapons and PE are pretty bad. Just get to the table spot. Magnum accidentally hits Alex. Alex drops him, but the camera cut away, so we didn’t see it at all. Both Alex and Magnum walk out. They do a hilariously bad see-saw spot with Disco and a ladder. 3 tables are stacked on the road. PE drags Disco up a ladder and place him on top of them. Rocco drops an elbow from the scaffolding. Magnum came back just to botch breaking up a pin. This was garbage and will actually end up being the second longest match of the show.

Raven vs Kanyon vs Saturn

This should be the match of the night, but their first triple threat was super disappointing. Kanyon actually shows up this time. Saturn lays him out as soon as the match starts. Raven just hangs out and watches. He hits Saturn with a chair, then tosses it to Kanyon to use. He gets hit by Saturn before he can. Raven then throws him into the ring post and also throws Saturn to the floor. Brain tries to get as confusing as he can with who is fighting with who. Kanyon and Saturn realize that Raven isn’t doing shit and decide to both go after him. Baseball slide to the DICK. Neckbreaker/back suplex combo. TOTAL ELIMINATION! Rolling Russian leg sweeps from Kanyon. Saturn waits and hits a guillotine leg drop. Kanyon breaks up the pin. Spinning Perfect Plex that Saturn broke up with a sweet leg sweep. Raven hits both guys with a chair at the same time. Now they hit the road. “They’re having a fight-by”. Raven hits a suplex on the ramp. Kanyon then hits a piledriver on the stage to Saturn. A dropkick sends Kanyon rolling down the ramp. Saturn dives off the stage on to both men. Stun gun on the ramp. It goes back into the ring. They do drop down spots that ends in an exploddaaaah. Double sleeper. Double jaw breaker. Superplex/electric chair combo. Raven went for a double DDT. Kanyon held on to the ropes. Kanyon then suplexed Raven on the floor. He climbs up the scaffold to drop a splash, but Lodi got Raven out of the way. DVD. Lodi also broke it up and gets suplexed. Whoreass comes in with the stop sign. Lodi threw powder, that hit Horace. Whoreass then hit Lodi with the stop sign, and accidentally hit Raven with it. Saturn hits another DVD for the win.

Psychosis vs Rey Mysterio Jr.

Winner will get a title shot at a later date. I’ll just give you the gifs, as I’m sure they will be running through their standard spots. It was weird. It was very slow paced for these guys and had little to no flow during it. I would think that after a big man clubbering match and two garbage matches that they’d want this to be a crazy fast paced sprint, but this wasn't that at all.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs Stevie Ray WCW TV Championship

Lol. This definitely isn’t a PPV match. Chavo tries a hand shake. Stevie won’t go for it, but Chavo gives a pretty solid “must not fap” gif. Chavo makes Stevie chase him repeatedly to wear him out. Which was fine the first 3 times he did it. But by the 6th time, it was annoying and Stevie was tired of it. Chavo gets in the ring and walks right into the Slapjack. Eddie comes out to save Chavo from a beat down, but also tells Stevie there is no problem between them. 

Rick Steiner comes out for his match with Scott. I don’t know why, they already said it was called off on Thunder. JoJo comes out and tells him as much. Buff wheels Scott out on a gurney. He’s on oxygen, has a neck brace, his arm, and a leg wrapped up. WCW has the right to reschedule this match with in 45 days. So the match is rebooked for Fall Brawl. If Scott doesn’t show for that match, he’ll be banned. He gets up and runs off.

Brian Adams vs Steve McMichael

I was hoping for none of the nWo guys getting double duty. Especially not Crush or Konnan. 

Chris Jericho vs Juventud Guerrera WCW Cruiserweight Championship Special Guest Referee: Dean Malenko

Brain wonders if and when Dean reffed a match last. Obviously he didn’t watch Thunder, which was 3 days ago. Nor did he pay attention to the SNME that Dean was a ref at. Jericho comes out in his kimono. Tony wonders what the hell that is. He apparently also doesn’t watch the show, even ones that he calls, as this isn’t the first time Jericho has worn this in the last 2 weeks. Tony says Jericho is a “big SWERVER”. Jericho goes for cheap heat by talking about his Honda. Dean prevents Jericho from hitting Juvi in the ropes. Big drop kick from Juvi. Dean hits or shoves Jericho down, but the camera completely missed it. He yanked Jericho down by his hair apparently. Juvi hits a missile drop kick. Juvi hits a dive from the ring all the way past the extended apron and to the floor. A good 15 feet I’d imagine. The ring itself is close to 8 and the apron is another 4 or so. Give or take. Juvi does a springboard cross body. Jericho fell back, so they just redid the spot with Jericho catching him and dropping into a TTD. Jericho works a chin lock for a while. Juvi finally makes a come back by reversing a suplex. He then gets his knees up to block the Lionsault. Spinning head scissors. Flying wheel kick. He goes for a rana and gets hit with a double powerbomb. Triangle shoulder block sends Juvi to the floor. Another powerbomb a few minutes later was countered into a DDT. Juvi driver, but Jericho kicked out. Superplex. Butterfly backbreaker is countered into a rana, which is countered into the Liontamer. Juvi got to the ropes. Jericho argues with Dean. Juvi accidentally pokes Dean in the eye. Jericho then hits Juvi with the belt. Juvi still kicks out. Dean slides the belt out of the ring. Did he not wonder how it got there? Jericho drags Juvi to the top rope. Not sure what he was going for, but Dean yanked Juvi down for some reason. Jericho then kicked Dean. Juvi ran at Dean, who popped him up to hit a super rana on Jericho. New champion! That finish didn’t make any sense, though. 

nWo Hollywood vs Wolfpac vs Goldberg Battle Royal

A 9 man battle royal is fucking lame. Just no way around that. It isn’t made clear if this is for the title or not. I’d guess that the entrances will take longer than the match. Scott Hall looks so sad. Both the nWo and Wolfpac music played through twice during entrances. Hall is the first to be eliminated by getting back dropped by Goldberg while trying the Outsider’s Edge. Nash steps over the ropes and eliminates himself to go after Hall. This is a typical shitty WCW battle royal. WWE has always been better at them. It comes down to Giant and Goldberg. Goldberg no sells the chokeslam, hits the spear, and then the jackhammer. And pins Giant to win a battle royal. There wasn’t a single pinfall attempt before this, nor was it announced that pinfalls also counted.

Hollywood Hogan/Eric Bischoff vs DDP/Jay Leno

I still can’t believe this match happened. And they came out to the Tonight Show theme. And then entrance focused on Jay the entire time. Remember when Jay Leno was actually funny? It was sometime before 1988. Leno throws his water on Hogan and Bischoff. DDP and Hogan start. Hogan bails after a neck breaker. Eubanks throws Hulk into the ring post. Leno gets tagged in. Bischoff runs away. Leno vs Hogan. The biggest match since Hogan vs Andre. Jay out-quicks Hogan a few times before tagging out. Not only does Hogan sell for Leno, he actually drops to his knees from an arm twist. Hulk Hogan. Selling for Jay Leno. More than he sold for Sting. He gets a 2 count on Hulk Hogan. Jay fucking Leno. Hogan tried to use a chair. Eubanks took it from him, and Hulk punched it. This is awful. Hogan used an international object on DDP. Bischoff makes the pin, but DDP kicks out. Big boot. DDP makes the hot tag. To Jay Leno. Kevin Eubanks hits a Kanyon Cutter on Bischoff, which the camera mostly missed, and Leno pins Bischoff to win the match. The nWo attack after the match. Goldberg runs down with his title still on and hits an awful double spear that the camera also mostly missed. And they play the Tonight Show theme to close out the show. 

This show fucking sucked. Spring Stampede 2000 levels of bad. Terrible pacing, the majority of the card was thrown together last minute, everyone was half assing it, tons of blown spots both from the wrestlers and the production team, Hulk Hogan (the biggest star in history up to that point) seling more for 48 year old comedian Jay Leno than 80% of guys he ever faced in WCW.

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