WCW Slamboree 1993: A Legends Reunion

The show starts with a whole bunch of old, saggy white dudes in the ring. I see one non-white guy, which is Thunderbolt Patterson.

Jesse is ill or hurt or something, so Larry is replacing him for the night. Maxx Payne plays some really inappropriate HEAVY METAL ROCK AND ROLL DEVIL MUSIC at this legends show. Then a bunch of dudes in speedos carry out a caravan that has the Fabulous Moolah in it. Two of the guys carrying her out were Ice Train/MI SMOOV and Mustafa. This music is so inappropriate for god damn MOOLAH.

TO THE BISCHOFF. Eric and Missy talk about Scott Norton and how Sting will face the Prisoner. The lighting dies on Eric and Missy and they stand around not knowing what the fuck to do. What a great way to start the show. Missy looks like an adult Miley Cyrus and it really freaks me out. She wants a DP with the Hollywood Blonds.

Bobby Eaton/Chris Benoit vs 2 Cold Scorpio/Marcus Bagwell

A Benoit/Eaton team seems like a rib to see how bad the promos can be. Benoit and Scorp start. The have almost an indie repeck stand off, but Scorpio wins the exchange. Benoit kicks at Buff, which brings him in the ref gets distracted. Eaton and Benoit try to double team Scorp, but Scorp is too fast. Tags are made. Buff gets back dropped over the top, which should be a DQ. It isn't, though. The heels can not get any momentum. Buff gets clobbered while running the ropes and Eaton throws him over the top as revenge. Diving knee drop. Benoit is tagged in. Hooking lariatoo. Second rope leg drop. Lots of double teaming and heeling on poor Buff. Rookie of the year, you know. Buff gets his knees up on a Superfly Splash. Hot tag to Scorp. Twisting splash. Eaton breaks the pin. Eaton accidentally hits Benoit. Scorp hits a crazy corkscrew moonsault legdrop landing right on Benoit's FUCKING FACE for the win. God damn.

Van Hammer vs Sid Vicious

Sid is back! And oddly enough, Hammer comes out looking just like Sid of 1989. I guess Col. Parker wanted to manage Hammer, but Hammer turned him down and attacked him, so Parker brought Sid back. And Sid squashed this punk in about 30 seconds. Huge pop for Sid. And god damn does he look impressive. Those fucking traps and delts are ridiculous.

TO THE BISCHOFF. Eric is with Red Bastien and Bugsy McGraw. Get Bugsy out of here. He isn't Dusty Rhodes. Red's mustache is pretty dope at least.

Dick Murdoch/Don Muraco/Jimmy Snuka vs Wahoo McDaniel/Blackjack Mulligan/Jim Brunzell

Some random ass teams. Who would book Muraco and Snuka on the same team? How is Brunzell anywhere near this match? Snuka and Brunzell start. Mulligan is tagged in. Murdoch tags in and former partners explode. Those bird legs and beer gut. Dick Murdoch is the best. Even old, fat, close to death Murdoch was a blast to watch. Hopefully a lot of his stuff gets put out on the Network. Wahoo and Muraco are in. Wahoo slams the shit out of the Rock. Brunzell hits the dropkick on Dick. Flying head scissors from Dick! Big powerslam from Muraco. Have you ever seen Muraco before he met steroids? Completely unrecognizable. He kind of looked like baseball era Randy Savage. Muraco accidentally nails Snuka. Dick slips trying the Calf Brander, but recovers and hits it. Smart idea to have Brunzell work the majority of the match. Although Wahoo and Mulligan look exactly the same as they did 8 or 9 years before. Snuka accidentally hits Muraco and they get into it. A brawl erupts and the ref loses control. The match is thrown out.

TO THE HYATT. Missy speaks with the Assassin and Mad Dog Vachon. Mad Dog growls and scares Missy. Assassin is so fat he can't even get his mask to fit his head. He throws an open challenge to Dusty. Dude looks like the Revolting Blob.

Ivan Koloff/Baron Von Raschke vs Thunderbolt Patterson/Brad Armstrong

This was supposed to be Thunderbolt and Bob Armstrong, but Bob recently had knee surgery, so Brad replaced him. Baron is too god damn old to be out there. Dude looks like a great grandpa. Shit, he looked that old in the 70s. Why is a Communist and a Nazi teaming up against a black man and Southern white man? Equality, that's why. Thunderbolt is like a black Dusty Rhodes. He and Baron start the match. Ivan looks like he could still go, though. It's kind of interesting how at this time in the WWF, history isn't mentioned even for their own guys, but WCW puts on a show with a ton of AWA guys and talks about WWWF history and feuds frequently. The Claw! Thunderbolt broke it. Thunderbolt pins the Baron after a double chop to the throat.

TO A FLAIR FOR THE GOLD. Tonight, Ric promised to reunite the original Four Horsemen. Blanchard isn't going to show up. Ric blames Barry Windham for it. Ole and Arn are brought out. And the newest member of the Four Horsemen....Paul Roma! No reaction. If there was a reaction, it was negative. He's really the best they could do to replace Tully?

Dory Funk Jr. vs Nick Bockwinkel

NWA vs AWA. Dory is another guy who looked like a grandpa in the 70s. Verne Gange is with Nick. Gene Kiniski is with Dory. Johnny Valentine is on commentary. Old man balls EVERYWHERE. Come on, Dory, put some pants on. No one wants to see a 700 year old man wrestle in his underwear. At least put some knee pads on. Dory hits a stiff uppercut. Some good old timey chain wrasslin. Nick gets control on the mat. Dory uncorks some uppercuts in the corner. Cravat. Nick works a head scissors with an arm bar. Funk rolls out of it. It kind of makes me sad that 400 year old Bock is in better shape than I've ever been in my life. Big slam from Bock. Dory bails. Back in the ring, more uppercuts. Tight chinlock from Dory. Bock throws some forearms of his own. Some stiff ones. Dory goes down. Lou Thesz reference! Nick is doing what he can to lock on a Boston crab. Dory powers out. Back suplex from Dory. Dory works a great standing arm bar. Standing bow and arrow. 10 minutes have gone by, 5 minutes remain. Nick reverses it. He had a nice butterfly grip to keep the hold. Dory hits a super stiff uppercut right in the jaw. Sounded like it broke a jaw. 2 minutes left. Piledriver from Dory. Rope break. Butterfly suplex is blocked. Backslide from Bock. Spinning toe hold! 60 seconds remain. Bock turns it into a small package for 2. Bock completely forgets how to apply the figure four. He eventually gets it on. Gene stomps him, which the ref allows I guess because he's old. Time limit expires.

TO THE BISCHOFF. My goodness, it's LOU THESZ! Look at that handshake! Oh yeah, Bob Geigel is with them. But Lou Thesz!

Rick Rude/Paul Orndorff vs Dustin Rhodes/Kensuke Sasaki

Dustin and Sasaki is a pretty weird ass team. Rude is not impressed by the body of Kensuke. Kensuke shoves Rude into the corner. WCW Rude is god tier Rude to me. The short hair was a much better look, he was even more cut up, the chest hair, and actually getting to show he was a fine wrestler. The faces get off to an early lead. Rude and Dustin have a show down. Huge back drop from Dustin. He goes for a lariato and goes over the top rope. Orndorff works him over on the guard rail while the ref is distracted. Wonderfully Ravishing work Dustin over for a while. Rude tries to hit a piledriver. He can't, so he goes for a tombstone, which Dustin reverses. 2 count. Sort of hot tag to Kensuke. Series of lariatos. He does his own hip swivel. Press slam. Orndorff shoves Kensuke off the ropes. Rude Awakening for the win. Kensuke completely no sold it and immediately jumped to his feet after the 3 count.

TO THE HALL OF FAME. Gordon Solie introduces us to the WCW Hall of Fame class of 1993. He begins by reading off a list of dead wrestlers. Way to start the ceremony off with a bang. Jesus man. The very first inductee...LOU THESZ!!! The second inductee is Verge Gagne. Boy, Gordon has one hell of a wide stance. Probably to make sure he doesn't fall over drunk. The third inductee is Mr. Wrestling II. The final inductee is the late Eddie Graham. Mike Graham accepts for his father.

TO THE HYATT. Missy speaks with John Tolos and some other guy who I have no idea who she said or who he is. A promoter I believe.

Sting vs The Prisoner

Fucking Nailz! Get that creepy son of a bitch out of here. Not only is he in the same gear, but he also has the Boss Man's night stick. This was supposed to be Sting vs Scott Norton, but Nailz attacked Norton and took his place. Nailz ambushes and beings choking Sting in the corner. Repeatedly. Nailz is dominating. It's not good. I can tell you that much. Apparently Nailz had a reasonably successful run in the AWA, both as a face and a heel. I can't imagine this guy as a face. Choking with a camera cable now. Sting won with a top rope clothesline. This sucked. Nailz only knew how to do chokes. It's like 1991 Undertaker without any of the athleticism.

TO THE BISCHOFF. Eric speaks with the Crusher and Ox Baker. Crusher just rambles on and on, making no sense. And he's smaller than Eric Bischoff. How weird is that? Ox takes Eric as his man bride I think.

Ricky Steamboat/Shane Douglas vs Hollywood Blonds WCW Tag Team Championships Steel Cage

Shane and Steamboat are in masks and body suits as "Dos Hombres" because Shane was injured and is being replaced by Tom Zenk. They had previously dressed up as the team to get a surprise win over the champs. Austin and Steamboat begin. Austin tries to rip the mask off and gets chopped. He tags out. Pillman also gets chopped. Tags are made and Zenk gets Austin in an arm bar. Austin tries to suplex Zenk into the cage and instead gets shoved into the cage multiple times. Austin takes a rough back drop into the cage/ropes. Then thrown into the other side. A lot more team work from the Hombres. Austin can't throw a slam due the back drop into the cage. Tree of Keanu with Austin hanging from the top of the cage. The hombres take turns splashing Austin until he just falls and it was ugly. Hard to see who got the worst of it, but Austin is able to make a tag. He's recovered a few moments later, but his back is still hurting from the back drop at the start of the match. Diving elbow. Looks like Zenk is getting wrecked in the corner. Pillman goes up for something and is caught with a boot to the face. Zenk isn't able to make a tag, but he does hit a dropkick. He then runs into a big spinebuster. Rocket Launcher. Zenk got his knees up. Larry says that Austin has the potential to be the guy getting all the legends rewards in the next century if his body can hold up. Hot tag to Steamboat. Chops everywhere. Electric chair. Double noggin knocker. 10 count punches. Look at Steamboat and Austin, exposing the business. Everyone but Steamboat goes into the cage. Steamboat hits a crossbody from the top of the cage. It was only a two count, but the bell rang. The match continues! DDTs. Double dropkicks. The Blonds won't stay down. Stun Gun OUTTA NOWHERE on Zenk. Blonds win! Titles retained.

TO THE BISCHOFF. Eric speaks with Dusty, Mr. Wrestling II, and Stu Hart. Stu looks confused and on the verge of tears, just like his good friend Bret Hart. Dusty accepts the challenge of the Assassin.

Arn Anderson vs Barry Windham NWA Championship

This is a match that probably should have happened a few years earlier. It's a shame Barry won the NWA Championship when it became second tier within WCW. Arn scores two near falls in the opening minute, one with a belly to belly. Barry is shook. Barry throws a punch that knocks a few of the remained hairs from Arn's head. Arn feigns a punch to set Barry up for a DDT. 2 count. Barry rolls to the ramp. I think the DDT broke Barry's nose. Arm comes off the second rope and got caught with lariato. Barry hits his own DDT. Arn is tossed to the floor and hit with an elbow in the face. Barry is brought out the hard way. No disqualification is called for it. Barry goes face first into the guard rail, which busts him open. That would be a DQ under WCW rules, but it is legal under NWA rules. Does it make any sense that the WCW rules are more old school than the NWA rules? Why are top rope moves still apparently banned in WCW, but not the NWA? Arn goes after the cut and continues to open it further. Arn goes up top. Barry dropkicks him and Arn falls to the floor. Hurt his knee it looks like. Diving lariato from Barry. Half his head is covered in blood. Knee drop. Spinebuster OUTTA NOWHERE! Barry rolls to the floor to avoid a pin. He grabs the belt and walks away. Arn throws him back in the ring. Arn shoves the ref, which didn't cause a DQ, but did allow Barry to drill Arn with the belt to pick up the win. Title retained.

Davey Boy Smith vs Big Van Vader WCW Championship

Vader has no idea how to react when Bulldog no sells a short arm lariato. A Vader Attack doesn't take him down either. Vader is legit shook. The power of HGH. Vader takes to just punching the shit out of Bulldog in the corner. That seems to work. Harley gets a punch in on the floor. Vader misses a Vader Attack on the floor and goes into the front row. Walking body slam from Davey. Delayed vertical suplex. Too bad Bulldog ran into a boot right after. But as Vader tries something off the second rope, he's got in a powerslam and then knocked to the floor. Crucifix is countered into a Samoan drop. Big Vader Bomb. Bulldog kicks out! The second rope Vader Attack works this time. Superplex is countered into a super gourd buster. Diving headbutt from Bulldog. Big ass jammer from Bulldog. Lariatooo. Superfly Splash from Bader. As soon as he landed, he screamed SHIT and then let out a bellow. Bulldog recovered first, but was thrown to the floor. Harley does a knee drop. Back in the ring, Vader throws more punches in the corner. Electric chair from Bulldog! Flurry of offense from Bulldog can't put the champ down. Running powerslam! They were in the ropes and Harley pulled Bulldog to the floor. Right in front of the ref, who lets the match continue. But he called for the bell when Vader hit Bulldog with a chair. Faces run down and get crushed. Sting saves Bulldog from a powerbomb.

TO THE MAGNUM BISCHOFF. Magnum and Bischoff wrap up the show.

A good, if kind of weird show. Vader/Bulldog was good. Dick Murdoch was good. Dory/Bock was interesting. Like a 15 minute version of a 60 minute 70s NWA match. Cage match was pretty good but would have been better with Shane.