WWF Monday Night Raw 7/18/01
With just 6 days before Invasion, Vince McMahon is trying to get Steve Austin motivated to bring back the old Stone Cold, for the sake of the WWF's future.
TO THE FRIENDLY TAP. Stone Cold drowns his sorrows and thinks over his issues with a cold beer.
The show opens with...Spike Dudley coming to the ring for a promo. He asks for Molly Holly to come to the ring. Spike publicly declares his love for Molly. Molly loves him, too! And he gives her a rose. She has something for him, but she can't give it to him here. As he takes off to get his BJ, Paul Heyman comes out to ruin the mood. Paul wants to talk to Spike. Spike is still welcome in the Alliance. Spike won't leave Molly for Paul or ECW. Well, there is a place for Molly. Given she gets lipo and fake tits. Paul Heyman, king of the negging. The Dudleys come out. Bubber is sick of Spike stealing the spotlight anyway. They attack Spike. Molly tries to save him and gets powerbombed through a table. Thou shalt not fuck with the Dudleys, I guess. What a weird way to start the go home Raw for Invasion.
Mike Awesome vs Edge
Before the match, Lance challenges Edge and Christian to a match at Invasion. E&C accept. Edge cost Awesome the Hardcore Championship on Smackdown. People have always talked about how they can't believe how Awesome was handled in WWF (and WCW), but I don't think it is that hard to understand. Horrific promo skills. An intense and hardcore style that didn't fit in the WWF even for hardcore matches. His size became a non-factor. Edge is as tall as him. There were a lot of guys his size and bigger in the WWF. Too much working against him. Anyway, during the match Edge hit that goofy half nelson face buster that looked much better in games. Awesome responded with a huge German suplex. Then Lance got involved and E&C attempted a conchairto on Awesome. The WCW ref stopped it and Lance hit Edge with a superkick. Awesome wins!
TO THE BACK. Steph is hyping up Booker. Then Jericho shows up and makes whore jokes. Booker takes offense and this sets up a WCW Championship match later tonight.
TO THE OFFICE. Regal and Tajiri talk about teaching Tazz some respect. Tajiri wants to do commentary for the match. Regal agrees.
TO THE BACK. Shane, Steph, and Heyman talk about Invasion. They finalize their team.
TO THE FRIENDLY TAP. Vince shows up to talk with Steve. Austin turns his back to Vince.
William Regal vs Tazz
Tajiri is on color. On Smackdown, Tazz attacked Tajiri at the announce table. Regal beats the brakes off of little Tazz until there was a Tazzplex OUTTA NOWHERE. Tajiri enters the ring and reveals his ECW shirt. SWERVE! And the he kicks Tazz in the head. DOUBLE SWERVE! Tajiri puts Tazz in the tarantula while Regal knocks the shit out of him.
TO THE BACK. Rhyno and DDP go over some strategy for their tag match tonight. DDP has the unedited tape of Mrs. Taker that he wants to show to the group. The King of Bada Bing's Best of Sara compilation.
TO THE FRIENDLY TAP. Owner and ref Tim White gives Steve another beer, on the house. Bu then Tim touches Austin and gets a dirty look. Austin is on his 5th or 6th beer in about an hour. Would that even phase a man as big as Austin that drinks as often as Austin?
Booker T vs Chris Jericho WCW Championship
WCW champ comes out first. Of course. JR BERRIES Booker, saying he isn't the kind of proud and honorable champion that...RIC FLAIR was. Ric Flair. The Dirtiest Player In The Game. So proud and honorable. Jericho controls the opening moments and the fans are hot for it. Nick Patrick is the ref for this. No mention of the Jericho/Patrick feud. They had a match on PPV. Seems like that could have been brought up. Some big kicks put Book in control. DOPE spinebuster. Cole and JR are a weird team. Both are doing color and play by play. And they're both faces. It's just weird. "I never thought much of a champion that wears an earring, but that's just my personal preference." Uh. What? Austin wears an earring, JR. Pretty sure Dusty and Flair had earrings at some point as well. I'm not sure if that is racist or homophobic. Maybe both. Nick's shoulder just pops right out of socket while doing a pin. Freak injury. Walls of Jericho! Nick's knee dislocates itself. Freak injury. Earl Hebner hits the ring and hits Nick. Booker taps out. As Earl goes to ring the bell, Shane decks him. Booker gets a roll up and Patrick gives the fast count. Title retained.
TO THE BACK. Terri tells Saturn to stay in the back during her match tonight. Heyman shows up and tries to convince Saturn to come home to ECW. "Now Perry, you know in ECW we care about the health and welfare of our performers." "Snausages!"
Raven vs Kurt Angle ECW Rules
Angle immediately scores a take down and pounds Raven with his gold medals. It's been a while since I've seen a not on death's door looking Angle. What a beast. Kurt has a real mean streak tonight and quickly wins with the ankle lock. After the match, he puts Reven in an amateur hold and then a modified arm bar. Then he gets a chair and beats on Raven. KANYON (and Justin Credible/Meat) run down to save Raven, but Kanyon gets smashed with the chair as well and the other two stay back. BANG!
TO THE FRIENDLY TAP. Austin is playing pool with Debra.
Hardy Boys vs Dudley Boys
Matt and D-Von start the match. Hardys start off hot. Doesn't last too long. JR claims he worked his whole life to get to the WWF. I find that hard to believe. JR was in the game for 10 years before the WWF even went national. The Dudleys win in a short match with help from RVD. After the match, RVD hit a flying karate kick on Matt and frog splash on Jeff with the Dudleys holding Jeff down.
TO THE BACK. The APA are not happy about what they just saw. Vince also isn't happy about it. Vince says that Austin probably isn't coming, so they have to stick together. Elsewhere, The Alliance holds their big team meeting. One last hype fest from Steph, Shane, and Paul. Paul is definitely the best at it. Elsewhere, the WWF has their own meeting. The APA, Vince, and Taker run the meeting. Freddie Blassie is wheeled in for one last hype. He stands up and tells them to FIGHT.
TO THE FRIENDLY TAP. Austin was watching and breaks his pool stick.
Trish Stratus vs Terri
Cesaro Swing! I wonder who had the idea to put Terri in matches. She's about as bad as it gets. Trish wins with a standard bulldog in about 90 seconds. Trish tried to strip Terri after the match. Torrie and Stacy hit the ring and attacked until Lita made the save.
DDP/Rhyno vs Kane/The Undertaker
Holy SHIT are the Brothers of Destruction over as fake. God damn what a pop. Rhyno is so fucking wide. I wounder how he was able to buy clothes. Pants seem impossible for that body shape. BoD dominate Rhyno. Then Taker dominates DDP. The rest of Team Alliance hits the ring and attacks. 5 on 2! The WWF locker room comes out. Then the rest of the Alliance. Things are breaking down in the Impact Zone!
TO THE BACK. The lowest of the low carders brawl outside. STONE COLD HAS ARRIVED!
Austin hits the ring. STUNNER! STUNNER! STUNNER! STUNNER! STUNNER! STUNNER! STUNNER!
TO THE BACK. Shane and Steph confront Freddie Blassie. "You and the WWF have a lot in common: You're both about to die!"
Technically not the go home show, but the one that counts. And it was kind of weird. Starting the show with the Spike and Molly thing, matches for the BIGGEST SHOW IN HISTORY still being made on the spot 6 days before, two WWF women wrestling against each other, Austin spending most of the show in a bar and then decimating the entire Alliance single handedly. The pops for Kane/Taker and Austin were IMMENSE. Like holy shit. I forgot crowds could be that hot. My boy Kanyon got some TV time and took a great stunner by flipping backwards and spinning on his head.