WWF Monday Night Raw 1/3/94


TO THE WORKSHOP. Paul Bearer and Undertaker are working on the DOUBLE DEEP, DOUBLE WIDE casket. It's a new year, yes it is. 

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TO THE WRESTLING CHALLENGE. Cornette claims Paul Bearer added the casket match stipulation to the Yoko/Taker match after he signed it. Yoko is afraid of the word casket, so Stan Lane repeats it about 5 times. Pretty dick move considering the history of he and Jim. 

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Vince and Johnny Polo will be calling the show. 

Yokozuna vs Dan Dubiel

Lmao, Raven out here saying that Yoko is DOPE. He's DOPE, Vince! Yoko crushes poor Dan. Literally. His feet went out from under him and he landed full force on this dude's fucking face and chest. 

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EARLIER TODAY. Vince, in his three piece suit, spoke with Lex Luger in the stands before the show. They talk about Lex's momentum and if it will hit a wall if he's not allowed to enter the Rumble. Jack Tunney will make his decision this weekend. 

TO THE TRACK. Ol' Sparky Plugg does his race shit.

Bam Bam Bigelow/Bastion Booger vs Smoking Gunns

Fuck this match. Bastion got a boner because Luna was rubbing his hump, so he kept forcing himself on her while Bam Bam was left alone. When Bam Bam finally saw this other bald fat man trying to rape his girlfriend, they brawled on the floor, giving the Gunns a win via count out. 

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Jeff Jarrett vs John Chrystal

"He's phat! P-H-A-T. It means he's cool! Come on, Vic." I love the idea that fucking RAVEN is out here literally teaching Vince new slang that he's never heard before. After Vince reads copy for a Rob Lowe movie, Raven makes a comment about his sex tape, which happened to be with an underage girl. Double J was abnormally stiff in this and won with the jumping DDT. 

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Marty Jannetty and 123 Kid come out to ringside to confront Johnny Polo. Marty DEMANDS a tag match against the Quebecers. Crowd reaction gets Johnny to give in. Lmao at this middle aged woman behind the table talking MAD shit to Marty and Kid. The titles will be on the line! Next week!

Shawn Michaels vs Brian Walsh

The Mountie called in to the show and seemed to think the match next week is a good idea. A tune up for the Rumble against the Harts! A pretty easy win for HBK with the piledriver.

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