WWF Monday Night Raw 10/18/93

Tonight, in what can only be compared to Kennedy/Khrushchev, Nixon/Brezhnev, and Reagan/Gorbachev, the Macho Man/Crush summit will  happen. TONIGHT! LIVE! 

Steiner Brothers vs PJ Walker/Tony DeVito

Well, the last time I saw Justin Credible, he was getting murdered by the Headshrinkers, so it's nice to know he recovered from that beating. Too bad his return is against the Steiners. Vince calls him Cory Student, though. The fuck? He was announced as PJ Walker. He's been on TV a ton. You know his name, dick. Poor Justin, just after recovering from being destroyed at the hands of the Headshrinkers, gets dismantled by the Steiners. Steiner Bulldog put DeVito away with absolutely zero offense from the heel team. 

Vince McMahon talks about the suspension of Shawn Michaels and if he should be reinstated or not. Luckily, you, the WWF Universe, can vote on it. This is followed by Diesel and Mr. Perfect on split screen arguing their points for and against HBK. 

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Oh, Christ. A Godzilla parody vingette for Yokozuna, complete with terrible dubbed footage.

IRS vs Scott Taylor

This sweaty cunt. Can you believe his son would headline WM as champion? IRS quickly wins with a lariat. Dude literally dripping with sweat in a 2 minute squash.

The debut Double J vignette! Jeff Jarrett wants to use the WWF as a stepping stone to success in country music. "Are you kidding me? This is not The Nashville Network and it's certainly not Tom Bodett." Jeff is chilling at the Country Music Hall of Fame, hyping himself up as the greatest wrestler in the South. This is awful. Especially since Double J's theme is playing under this the whole time. Mother fucker complaining about the politics of country music. This has multiple times where Jeff stumbles over his lines, and at one point you can hear a plane go overhead that nearly drowns Jeff out. This is a fucking pre-taped segment! 

Tatanka vs Mike Sharpe

On Superstars this past weekend, Ludvig Borga and Tatanka got into it. Savage talks about how he doesn't want his relationship with Crush to go the way his relationship with Hulk Hogan went. Then this: "I think Hogan's a prima-dona, a backstabber, and he's a liar, and he thinks he's the messiah walking around the face of the earth and there's only one power, and that's up above, brother, and that's the way that it is." Yikes. It's the end of the line for Mike Sharpe.

TO THE SURVIVOR SERIES REPORT. Now that Mean Gene is gone, Joe Fowler is filling in. SS sold out without even matches being advertised. However, now we have announced matches: All Americans vs Foreign Fanatics and the Hart Family vs The King and his Knights. In addition, Ray Combs from the Family Feud will be on hand. BREAKING NEWS: Crush has arrived. There's another reference to the WWF Network, which can't be a mistake this time. Is that what they called USA Network during WWF shows on the weekend or something?  I sure don't recall that.  

TO THE BACK. Crush has arrived and is met by Bobby Heenan, who takes his luggage.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs Dennis Diamond

I do like a good Bam Bam squash. Sadly, this wasn't particularly impressive. 

Diesel again makes a hard sell for HBK's reinstatement. 65% of fans don't want HBK back in the WWF. 

TO THE SUMMIT. Bobby Heenan introduces Crush, who is accompanied to the ring by MR. FUJI! Crush used to call Randy his best friend, bruddah. His word was like gold, brah. But when the student passed up the teacher, Randy couldn't handle it, brah. Ya see, Randy told Crush to get in the ring with Yoko because he'd have his back. But when that match happened, Randy just sat at ringside and watched Crush get crushed over and over. That's a valid point, really. One person made perfect sense to him while he was recovering: Master Fuji. Fuji's family happens to own the hotel he was staying at. Macho better stay out of his life, his business, and his way. Randy gets in the ring and tells Crush he's making a big mistake. Macho wants to do this in private. Macho begs Crush to shake his hand. Crush is conflicted, but ulimately shakes that hand. And then he attacks! SWERVE! He continues to beat down Macho, and then Yokozuna comes out. THIS WAS PREMEDITATED! Bonzai drop! GET SOME HELP OUT THERE! Luckily, officials pull Randy out of the ring before more damage can be inflicted. 

Loooooool about this whole show. From the RIDICULOUS opening, to the Yoko x Godzilla promo, to the Double J DEBUT vignette with multiple line flubs and a plane interrupting the audio, to Macho randomly shooting on Hulk Hogan to the whole thing emanating from a rec center.