WWF Monday Night Raw 5/10/93

EARLIER TODAY. HBK bragged to Lord Al about his talent and why he's going to retain his title in the lumberjack match. OUTTA NOWHERE, Mr. Perfect attacks him and they fight into the streets of NYC. They are pulled apart by staff once HBK gets hip tossed on a car, but they can't hold them back!

Brain says Perfect was paid off by Hacksaw for that attack.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs Typhoon KOTR Qualifier

There is a lot of beef in the ring. THEY'RE FAT. I know they love sugar. How much do these guys weigh? Where the fuck is Earthquake? Bam Bam is slammed. Typhoon is slammed. Back suplex from Bam Bam. Just fat guys being fat and throwing other fat guys. Typhoon goes face first into the ring post while on the apron. I think there might be a shmear of poop on Bam Bam's head. It isn't blood. It looks like poop. Bam Bam locks on a sleeper. Typhoon corner smashes out of it, but Bam Bam reapplies the hold and we go to break. Typhoon seems to be back in control once we come back. He misses a corner splash. Bam Bam does a Samoan drop and hits the diving headbutt for the win. If you like fat guys slamming each other, you'd probably like this.

Another Smoking Gunns vignette. They're coming! This time they're riding their horses with a weird filter. And then shooting some guns. Brain and Savage both get boners for the Raw girl.

Yokozuna vs PJ Walker

Poor Justin. Dude is about get a giant ass squashing him. Belly to belly. Leg drop. Corner splash. Banzai drop. Eek. Yoko crushed Justin for real.

TO THE KOTR REPORT. This is brought to you by ICOPRO, which is done with a Lex ad this week. Finally. Makes way more sense than Bret Hart. So far, Bret, Lex, Razor, Bam Bam, and Hacksaw are in the tournament. Yoko vs Hogan for the title. This weekend will feature Perfect vs Doink and Tatanka vs Giant Gonzalez in qualifying matches.

Mr. Perfect vs Iron Mark Sharpe

Perfect is seemingly going to kiss the hefty Raw Girl and instead puts his gum in her mouth. And she likes it. What the fuck? Quick and easy squash, although there were some stiff chops from both guys. Perfect hit a blatant low blow in front of the ref (Fonzie), who didn't call him on it. Brain again watches other shows instead of the match. He again tries to watch scrambled porn. It'd be great if WCW just happened to be on. He wonders about that movie about "That girl that went to Dallas". Perfect Plex for the win.

Cannonball Kid vs Mr. Hughes

Harvey Wippleman is Hughes' new manager. Two weeks, two names. Vince calls him Kamikaze kid anyway and his tights have L. Kid on them. Dominating squash for Hughes.

Jim Duggan vs Shawn Michaels WWF Intercontinental Championship Lumberjack Match

The lumberjacks are wearing flannel. Except for Yoko. And Duggan attacks him. HBK comes out on crutches and in street gear. I like that he's wearing an out of date WWF shirt that has the Warrior, LOD, and I think Earthquake on it. Perfect attacks HBK again and throws him in the ring. HBK can walk! It's a miracle! Duggan does an Oklahoma Stampede. HBK can't even get started. Flair Flip. Flair Flop after a stiff back elbow. Duggan is dominating. This is kind of weird that HBK is getting so dominated. He has had zero offense. He tries to run away after being thrown to the floor. Perfect and Backlund carry him back. The Old Glory knee drop missed! Shawn hits him with the Old Glory cowboy boot. Old Glory ref bump. Duggan goes to the Old Glory floor. Now HBK is is control. Duggan comes back with the Old Glory lariatooo. Old Glory back drop. Old Glory 3 point stance sends HBK to the floor. Duggan gets himself disqualified and the lumberjacks all brawl. Duggan clears the ring with his Old Glory board and WE'RE OUTTA TIME!

Idk, it wasn't AS bad as it had been for the last few weeks.