WWF Monday Night Raw 4/12/93

TO THE BACK. Money Inc gives the Beverly Brothers a pay off to get some tips on how to defeat the Steiners.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Rob Bartlett is back. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. FUCK.

IRS vs Scott Steiner

For the first time in my life, I wish this was Rick in a singles match just to see him sell an IRS lariat like he did in the 80s. Macho points out the obvious that the Steiners are closer than Money Inc. because they are brothers. Enzuigiri from IRS. Sweaty bastard. Ted's white variant of his money suit is pretty sharp. IRS takes two shoulder blocks before countering with a drop toe hold. Scott immediately gets in control on the mat anyway. Steinerline. IRS gets out of a hold with an elbow to the eye. IRS tries a suplex. It was unsurprisingly reversed. He bails and comes back in the ring with a cheap shot. Scott is sent to the floor. Rick comes to stand over his brother and Ted pulls his suit off because that sumbitch is ready for action. Terrible piledriver from IRS. Rest holds abound. Scott hits a stiff back elbow. He then uses IRS's tie to do the Macho clothesline on the top rope. Tiger Driver. Barely. It almost turned into a Tiger Driver 91. Ted jumps in the ring and causes a DQ. He gets put up for the Steiner Bulldog when the Beverly Brothers run down to stop it. The Bevs accidentally double clothesline Ted. This was no doubt supposed to be the best match on the show and it wasn't very interesting, so I can't wait for the rest of the show. Money Inc. and the Beverly Brothers get into a shoving match after the match.

Tatanka vs Von Krus

Fucking Vito. Was that Buckhouse Bunk in the front row? Doink comes out, spraying his water from an umbrella. Man, Vito looks like a bag of shit. All the jobbers do. It's lovely. Easy win for Tatanka.

TO THE WRESTLEMANIA UPDATE. Well, the encore update. Sean Mooney handles the details. There is a PPV encore TONIGHT on PPV, right after Raw. Jack Tunney made the announcement that Hulk Hogan is officially the WWF Champion and Yoko can stick it, brother.

Dope, the Steiners get the ICOPRO ad now.

TO THE BARTLETT. Rob gets an interview with Luna Vachon. I hope she beats his ass. She says a bunch of weird shit that Rob no sells and makes jokes about. Then it seems like he was making a fat joke about Sherri. Rob brings Sherri out. Sherri calls Luna a "half bred woman". Well, it appears that Luna is actually a time traveler from an alternate, dystopian future. For real. Sherri attacks Luna and then knocks Bartlett on his ass just because. Suplex on the floor. Luna gets her belt off and takes a few shots. Sherri's hangers are out and about. MAH GOODNESS. Clothes are being ripped off. This might be the first unofficial bra and panties match. Now they're fighting into the crowd.

After the break, Savage gets a word with Sherri, who is covering up with his hat. Luna returns and they continue the fight.

Papa Shango vs Scott Taylor

Poor Scotty gets his ass kicked. Rob Bartlett hobbles back with his shorts all ripped up. He passes out in front of the announce table. Shoulder breaker for the easy win.

Friar Ferguson vs Chris Duffy

Fuck, I can't even tell who is uglier in this match. Duffy looks like straight WHITE TRASH. Friar is a wrestling monk. Vince implies that God is managing Friar. Macho believes he meant Hulk Hogan. Beverlys vs Money Inc has been signed for next week. Friar dances and nearly shows his balls. This is awful. Friar wins with a teabagging.

We're shown clips of Todd talking to random fans after WM9 including VLAD THE SUPERFAN! Dude got promo time on Raw!

TO THE BACK. Money Inc give their thoughts on the Beverly Brothers. They aren't scared. The Beverlys show up out of the dressing room and attack. They brawl to the the show. WE'RE OUTTA TIME! TUNE IN TO THUNDER!

Unsurprisingly another lame and bad show. The only thing to look forward to is that Bret will be returning to Raw next week.