WWF Monday Night Raw 2/22/93
The Hulkster will be in the building tonight!
Bam Bam Big Yellow vs Scott Taylor
Bartlett immediately buries Scotty because he's a cunt like that. Scotty gets out of a suplex and then tries a victory roll. I'm sure he got a concussion from the electric chair. Butterfly back breaker! Bam Bam wins after two diving headbutts.
TO THE INTERVIEW. Vince had a sit down conversation with Hulk Hogan. Hulk gives an interview in his Terry voice, talks about mistakes he's made in his life. Tabloid terrorism has been going on, brother. This sure sounds like something Vince cooked up after drug rumors. There is a new demandment: Believe in Hulk Hogan. Dude is clearly starting a cult. He's got a big announcement that will happen on Raw.
Shawn Michaels/Beverly Brothers vs Tatanka/Nasty Boys
Fucking Knobs. Knobs, Bam Bam, and the Beverlys. It's like 1999 WCW all over again. The action starts will all 6 men brawling. HBK gets backdropped over the top rope. Double Pit Stop for the bros. HBK and Knobs go at it for a bit. HBK runs away when Tatanka gets tagged in. Uncut, uncooked, uncensored is the worst catchphrase, especially since they say it about 6 times per show. Knobs is a piece of shit. Bartlett is a piece of shit. I want to see Knobs get injured. Knobs plays the FIP which is both good and bad. Bad because he's fucking terrible, but good because he's getting his ass kicked. Fat cunt finally gets the hot tag to Tatanka. He hit the End of the Trail. A Beverly broke the pin. Tatanka wins with a sunset flip out of the Tear Drop suplex.
TO THE MOON. Sean Mooney is outside, talking with the poors who couldn't get in. They're there to see the Hulkster.
Crush vs Terry Taylor
Poor Taylor. Can't be anything but a jobber. Taylor gets hit with a weak dropkick and a press slam. Bartlett does a stupid ass Arnold impression. Was there ever a time when Crush didn't suck at everything? Crush easily wins.
We're shown the Beefer getting his face reborked by Money Inc. It was only a broken nose.
Vince conducts an in ring interview with HULK HOGAN! Hulk Hogan is here in the Impact Zone! He feels so out of place in this tiny building. Hulk was hanging out last week watching the greatest comeback of all time, only to see Brutus get the crush of all times in his face, brother. "Breececase" and "Peefcake". Hulk thanks Jeeeeeeezus for making sure Brutus wasn't hurt too much. He also thanks Jimmy Hart for laying himself over Beefer's body, brother. Hulk is BACK, brotherjackdude. He brings out Brutus. He also thanks Jeeeeeeeezus and Jimmy Hart. There is no way that briefcase broke his nose. It hit him on the top of his head. Next the bring out Jimmy Hart as their new manager. This is the greatest day of Jimmy Hart's life, baby. He's dreamed of wearing the red and yellow for years. WTF. You lying piece of shit. He believes Hogan and Beefcake will be the greatest team of all time. He promises to take his vitamins every day from now own. This shit feels so out of date even in 1993.
The Undertaker vs Skinner
The majority of the match happened during commercial breaks. The show runs out of time. We'll get the finish of the match next week. Next week will also have Bret Hart defending the WWF Championship against one of the Headshrinkers.
No hour long show needs TWO Hulk Hogan interviews.