WCW Monday Nitro 2/21/00
What a momentous night SuperBrawl was. How can Nitro even compete? I mean, SuperBrawl had James Brown and Lash LeRoux. You can't top that!
TO THE BACK. Double J and the Harris Bros arrive. Jeff is pissed that he's been screwed by the company too many times.
TO THE MEAN BROTHERJACK...DUDE? Hulk Hogan was supposed to do this interview, but Lex Luger came out instead. Lex still rocking his FUBU gear. Wolfpac never die. Lex flexes and screams his head off that people aren't respecting his body. He looks SO tired. The bags under his eyes are so big. No way he isn't wearing makeup to cover those up. Actually, now that I'm looking at his face, it isn't symmetrical at all. Total Package my ass. MY ASS. Of course, Hulk Hogan interrupts the promo. Remember it was about 10 years ago when Hogan passed the torch because he was about to retire. Yet here was are. Hulk challenges Lex to a rematch right here TONIGHT. As it turns out, there's a steel cage above the ring that Lex somehow didn't see. Lex vs Hogan in a cage tonight!
Jeff Jarrett and the Harris Brothers come out. They still have nWo branding. Fuck everything. Somehow, Jeff had a contract that said if he didn't win the title at SuperBrawl, he'd get a one on one rematch. "You name the place, I'll name the time." "So doubya see doubya, you want a war? You gotta war." No one asked for this war.
TO THE BACK. Sid arrives in a limo. BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?! And where's his title? Elsewhere, Kidman and Torrie can't find the Kid Cam. Elsewhere elsewhere, Madusa looks at the booking board to find she's not booked at all. So she throws a tantrum while asking for a women's division.
Kidman vs Lash LeRoux
I'm so confused at Kidman's push. they keep putting him with heavyweights, but now they have him with a guy who lost in the finals of a cruiserweight tournament last night. Is Kidman in the cruiserweight division or not? Regardless, the Harris Brehs hit the ring and beat up both men. This is apparently going to be the theme of the night. Can't wait.
TO THE BACK. Vampiro heads to the ring.
TO THE KID CAM. Buff hits on Symphony. She's not having any of this. "Well, let me tell you something. Zip your lip. I've almost been caught once, and I mean ZIP IT. This is never happened. Quiet."
Vampiro vs Fit Finlay
Man, I hope Finlay beats the shit out of Vamp. Lol at finding out that Taker stole his chair to the throat spot from a random Finlay match on 2000 Nitro. Vamp wins with a roll up after Fit hit the ring post. Fit laid his ass out after the match.
TO THE BACK. LMAO, Maestro is laying a beating on Buff. Elsewhere, Madusa forms a plan with La Parka
TO THE MEAN SUCKA. Booker will be facing Vito momentarily, but Stevie and Big T can not take his freed. "IT'S OVAH. IT'S ALL OVAH, MAN!"
Booker vs Big Vito
Disco comes out hot because apparently they booked him in the match instead of Vito. Disco then offers him a handicap match for the tag titles. Booker punches Disco and now apparently this is a handicap title match. Fucking loooool at how badly they fucked up the Book End to JTB. Booker dominates and was about to win until Disco caused a DQ. A triple beat down ensues and no one comes to save Book. Except for the Harris Brehs, who also beat him up afterwards.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Terry Funk and Dustin Rhodes will face the Harris Brehs. Great. "That kid's ten times tougher than his daddy ever was."
TO THE BACK. Sid laughs.
TO THE MEAN SUCKA. Harlem Heat 2K Inc LTD are with Gene. Ahmed is wearing a pink/salmon colored sweat suit. With his fanny pack, of course. The new guy is named Cassius. Oh, no! I'm fascinated at how Ahmed appears to resent having to do ANYTHING on screen. Even just standing.
The Artist vs La Parka WCW Cruiserweight Championship
Oklahoma comes out to do commentary. La Parka comes out looking like he's dropped about 100 pounds. And grew some big ol' titties. "Parts of La Parka are cruiserweight." Oklahoma of course unmasks La Parka to reveal MADUSA! WHAT A SHOCKING SWERVE! She was also wearing a cup for some reason. The real La Parka comes out and hits Oklahoma with a chair. Prince then hits La Parka with the same chair and follows it with the flying DDT. Live by the chair.
TO THE BACK. Shitty NWO and Funk/Rhodes head to the ring. Elsewhere, Flair and Lex get pumped up. Fucking LOL, the promo got cut off at the start of the show, so they were redoing it...and it got cut off again.
Terry Funk/Dustin Rhodes vs Harris Brothers
Fuck this. Jeff Jarrett is on commentary for this as well. Just to make it fucking worse. Sid comes out to slowly stalk Jeff. Jeff then hits a random dude with a guitar. Sid chases Jeff to the back. Meanwhile, Dustin tags in the match and hits Funk with a DDT. SWERVE! Shades of Double A! These keeps cutting back and forth to the Jeff running away and driving off and Dustin beating the shit out of Terry Funk.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Buff complains about about da boyz in da back stirring things up, and you're gonna see how rough Buff's stuff can be tough.
TO THE BACK. Terry Funk is being loaded into an ambulance only for Dustin to attack him again. Then he STEALS THE AMBULANCE. Lol.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Sid comes to the ring for this promo. Sid will give Jeff that one on one title match at Uncensored. "See, Jeff Jarrett, I like you, man." Lol what? "You can not be the master of the master...or....the ruler of the world."
TO THE BACK. Kidman and Booker are being held back from attacking the Harris Brehs. Elsewhere, Buff comes to the ring.
TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. Man, I would die if Flair gets cut off again. Why does the backstage set look like they're in a sewage pipe?
Buff Bagwell vs The Maestro
"He is storming through the bubbles to get to the ring." Maestro desperately needs to do a weight cut. Flabbier than Flair. Buff goes out to hit on Symphony again, only for Maestro to get enraged and run after Buff. However, Buff had long since moved, and Maestro just kept running, it looked like he intentionally tackled her. He didn't give a shit. Cat comes out to make Maestro pay off his bet of having to listen to music of Cat's choosing. Buff hit the blockbuster during the distraction. Cat gave him new music that made Maestro go crazy and beat up the ref.
TO THE BACK. The Wall heads to the arena. Elsewhere, Sid jumps in his limo and takes off. BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!
TO THE SATURDAY NIGHT. Janitor Jim Duggan found the TV Championship in the trash and has revived it. He was challenged by...ROBERT GIBSON. Jim Duggan. Vs Robert Gibson. In 2000. He was then challenged by Steven Regal, who put his career on the line to get his TV Championship back. This Saturday, Duggan vs Regal, Title for Career
The Wall vs Bam Bam Bigelow
Bam Bam's arm is all wrapped up, I assume from when Knobs threw him into the steps the night before. This match sucks, though. Bam Bam was so washed at this point. Wall won with a super chokeslam.
TO THE BACK. Hulk Hogan attacks a fence while streaming Luger. Elsewhere, Ric tries to tell David what to do, also tells Arn he belongs to him. Ric insists they help him keep Hulkamania from running wild again. They didn't seem like they gave a shit.
TO THE MEAN BROTHERJACKDUDE. He said something.
TO THE BACK. Team Package attack Jimmy Hart.
Lex Luger vs Hulk Hogan
Steel Cage Match
Flair and Lex actually beat Jimmy all the way to the ring. Hulk comes out to beat them up with chairs before the match even starts. This goes on for MINUTES before they even get into the cage. This is every bit as shitty as their match the night before. Of course, Flair comes back out and enters the ring as Hulk was about to win. He pinned Flair, even though Flair is not a participant in this match, and the rules are for escape only. Doug Dillinger comes in and gets his arm broken. More security gets beaten down, and Lex/Flair stand tall to end the show. WHERE THE FUCK WAS STING?!?
So many shitty angles going on right now lol. Jeff Jarrett's war against WCW makes no sense, since he's supposed to be the Chosen One and has been getting opportunity after opportunity his whole run since he's been back. Got all kinds of perks when Russo was in charge, then his stablemate was commissioner, then he's basically been filling that role for 2-3 weeks, and no one is even worried about the NWO anymore. There is no war. It's just Jeff Jarrett running around annoying people, and no one cares.
Hogan/Lex just being a sideshow to Lex/Sting is weird, but also terrible. Flair now being Lex's cheerleader after being done with Funk, who is now with Dustin Rhodes, is also weird.