WCW Monday Nitro 8/16/99
Hogan is red and yellow, still the champ, and Nash is retired. Randy Savage still hasn't revealed the driver of the Hummer. Rick Steiner continues to be the Steiner no one wants to see.
Recap of last week's Nitro. Not of the PPV, but of Nitro.
Nitro Girls dance.
Sid vs Hogan has been signed tonight. For the title! Sid is 55-0 now. He hasn't even had 15 matches since returning to WCW. He's lost probably 8 of them. He lost just last week on Nitro.
Lash LeRoux vs Juventud Guerrera
They have a match that no one cares about until Sid comes in and lays them both out. 57-0! He's really worried about what people will think of him in 2000. Maybe he should focus on 1999 a little more.
Steve Regal vs Scotty Riggs
Come on. Riggs? His undercut isn't even. It's higher on the left side. Sid comes back out and lays both of these guys out. 59-0.
Recap of Hogan/Nash at Road Wild.
The Cat vs Mike Enos
Enos is back and has bleached his hair again. Cat predicts he will win in under 4 minutes or he'll never come back to the town again. I hope Sid comes back out. Cat wins in under 4 minutes.
TO THE BACK. Sid beats up Silver King and La Parka in the pantry of the building. He powerbombed La Parka on a bag of popcorn. 61-0.
Lenny vs Rey Mysterio Jr. WCW Cruiserweight Championship
I can't believe Rey is defending his title. I'm still waiting on Kidman to get his title shot. Lenny did a bunch of cheap gay heat and a sweet dive. Sid came out again. 64-0. Sting came out to stop the madness. Hogan also hobbled out and Sid ran away.
Mean Gene gets in the ring to talk to Hulk and Sting. Sid has a mic as well. Hulk came to train, say his prayers, and kick Sid's ass. Hogan gives Sting a title shot for next week. Feels like Nash is going to blow through all the money matches so there won't be any left for the next guy and he can say he did better.
ICP vs Public Enemy
Come on Sid! ICP have far more trouble with PE than Eddie and Rey. I guess that means PE are better wrasslers. Skinny clown got put through stacked tables. Ref bump. Vamp laid Grunge out. Fat Clown won the match.
DJ Ran says some bullshit before the Nitro Girls dance. They did the Beat It choreography before it all falling apart into messy nonsense.
TO THE MEAN SUCKA. New champions, Harlem Heat! 8 time (x8) tag team champions of the world. They'll fight anyone as a family.
Recap of how Harlem Heat won the titles.
Disco Inferno vs Chris Benoit WCW US Championship
Disco says he's an icon and the Filthy Animals have been calling him all week. Benoit came out to shut him up. Disco has no chance. I wish he did. He almost won a few times. Disco's pants have back pockets. Why the hell would you have back pockets on wrestling tights made to look like pants? 3 Amigos. Benoit won with a diving headbutt about 3/4ths the way across the ring.
Barry Windham vs Goldberg
Goldberg squashed the whole group, except for Hennig, who wasn't there.
KISS! They're coming!
Scott Norton/Horace/VINCE vs Harlem Heat
I figured since the leader left that the B Team would quietly fade away. I was wrong. But Crush hasn't been on TV for a few weeks and he's not here tonight. Actually, he is. He runs in and beats up the remaining B Team members. Nick Patrick doesn't call for the bell since Crush is a team mate of theirs. Even though he's attacking them. Harlem Heat win. We follow Crush all the way to the back. He gets in a limo with a KISS vanity plate. BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?
Rick Steiner vs Brian Knobs WCW TV Championship
Now that Goldberg isn't around, Rick is free to be the TV Champion again. I wonder what the point of the hardcore trophy was if there couldn't be any more hardcore matches in arenas. And since Fit got injured, then Jimmy Hart stole it, and Dean stole it from Jimmy, the whole thing has been dropped. Jimmy Hart got bumped and Rick won in a shitty match no one gave a shit about.
Nitro Girls dance.
Recap of Savage vs Rodman from Road Wild.
Bam Bam Big Yellow vs Saturn
Fat ass Bam Bam. Lost his title because it wouldn't fit around his waist. He tried to do a press slam from the second rope, but couldn't keep his balance. Because he's fat. HE'S FAT. I wish Scott Steiner wasn't out hurt so he could tell Bam Bam that HE'S FAT. There was a ref bump. Kanyon came out and got decked. He pushed Saturn off the ropes on to Bam Bam, but Shane Douglas pushed Kanyon into Bam Bam. Saturn won. It is not a good night to be a heel stable in WCW.
Sid vs Hulk Hogan WCW Championship
I don't know why they're acting like this is some huge match that has never happened. It happened less than a month ago. It was even for the title. I guess that was before Sid went on a 800-0 win streak. Man, nostalgia trip Hogan is more annoying than 1994 Hogan was. He does his posing constantly. They have a shitty match that you'd expect. The worst spot was Sid chokeslamming Hogan, breaking the pin, then saying now he had him and trying again. Rick Steiner came in and so did the trash. Sting made the save and Hogan ended up pinning Rick Steiner to win the match. The ring had the most trash it has had for quite a while.
DQ Count: 4 out of 10 matches. However, there was only 1 match that had a clean finish, which was Benoit vs Disco. The remaining 5 matches all had ref bumps, manger interference, or partner interference.
I've now taken to watching the shows at 1.50x speed and slowing it down for gifs. That's the only way I'm going to make it through them. Shit is just getting stupid. Kevin Nash is nearing the end of his booking tenure and is going to blow through every money match he can (which he already has) to make it harder on the next guy. The mid carders are all pissed and want to quit. Hulk Hogan is back to red and yellow and working full 80s style, and worst of it, it is over. Sid went from losing a match to 55-0 in a week. Randy Savage more or less has walked out on the company. Ric Flair is back to being in the dog house and off TV. Scott Steiner has been out for months with an injury, which has still yet to be explained on TV, even though Rick Steiner mentions him like they're still doing shit together on TV every week. Would it be that hard to just say he got suspended for doing something crazy or just mention that he got hurt? It's the same thing with Scott Hall, who got hurt in February and was stripped of the US Championship in March, but still hasn't been mentioned to be hurt or suspended on TV. Way too much focus on musical acts and celebrities. ICP shouldn't be wrestling and beating people. KISS shouldn't be performing. Megadeth shouldn't be performing. Chad Brock shouldn't be performing, agreeing to a match, and then never showing up again.
Just last week, Chris Jericho made his WWF debut. The guy that WCW randomly took off TV after pushing hard for a year because they thought he wasn't a star. His debut CRUSHED Nitro that week. And it inspired his buddies to try to get out of their contracts as well. All members of the Revolution and Filthy Animals want out of their contracts by now. At this point, I think the only ones to have formally asked were Konnan and Rey. But the rest will ask right around the time Raven actually got his release.
Oh and somehow there was a DDP/Kidman match I missed. Kidman won with a roll up and then got his ass kicked. Kim had to stop DDP. And it was over Kim to begin with.