WCW Monday Nitro 3/29/99

TO THE HOTEL.  Torrie and David talked about how Hogan is more of a father to him than Ric.

This is the first Nitro to originate from the great country of Canada!  But what really is important is the Battle For The Beetle sweepstakes.  Beetle Adventure Racing has been hailed of the greatest racing game of the year for N64.  They're giving a away a Beetle with N64 logos! Larry was so confused about the idea of video games.

Recap of Bret calling Goldberg out last week.  It's been the talk of the town for the past week.

Konnan vs VINCE

Fuck.  This is perhaps the worst way to start out in a new market.  Konnan wins.

TO THE BACK.  Hogan and Torrie are talking about what Torrie and David talked about.  All of these segments are in black and white and they're revealing their plan to fuck with David every week, but no one has mentioned it to David.  Does David not watch the shows?  These kind of things really bother me.  Torrie seems to be trying to stir something between Hogan and Nash.

TO THE MEAN BROTHERJACKDUDE. Hogan's return to Canada.  Tenay and his repeated use of, "Think of it this way", really bug the shit out of me.  He wants to know where his title shot is.  Customs asked him who he was going to beat up tonight.  His answer was Ric Flair!

60 seconds with Goldberg.

The announcers talk about rumors that Sting may have been spotted by customs.  Tenay will have an interview with DDP later.

Highlight package of Steiner vs DDP.

TO THE TENAY. A special interview with DDP took place over the weekend.  DDP explains that he wasn't able to feel his legs for a few days after Superbrawl.  Tenay asks stupid questions like "what about the 30 day stipulation??!?" as in, Steiner would get Kim for 30 days if he won the match.  Tenay thought it was a legit stipulation.  DDP says to stop it with the people's champion shit, but he's coming back when he comes back, on his time.

Wrath vs Kenny Kaos

This is the first time they've had Nitro in Canada and these are really the matches they're putting on?  Wrath wins in an agonizingly long match.

TO THE BACK.  Torrie is now with Nash and trying to stir it up with Nash and Hulk.

TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE.  Flair says that coming to Canada was a bad idea for WCW, because he doesn't like being there.  Flair stops his promo for asshole chants.  He brings out DDP.  DDP says it is like Bischoff teleported into Flair's body.  DDP is there for Big Papa SCUMBAG.  He says something about Kim, which the fans react negatively to, so DDP calls the fans a bunch of JACKOFFS and SCUMBAGS.  Flair says that DDP will face Hogan tonight.  Finally, the blow off to their feud last Summer!  Hulk comes out.  He's okay with it.  Flair is going to be DDP's manager.  STING is in the rafters!  Ric Flair demands he come down, but he doesn't.  I'm not sure what just happened.  Flair is full heel, DDP called the fans jackoffs and doesn't want to be called the people's champion anymore, and Hogan is full face in the arena, but heel in backstage promos.

Scott Norton vs Rick Steiner

Scott goes to work right away.  Rick fights back and sends him to the floor with a Steinerline.  Norton comes in and does some throat based offense.  Powerslam/backdrop thing sends Norton back to the floor.  We come back from break to see both guys down.  Really weird attempted powerbomb spot.  First, Rick dead weighted Norton.  Then Norton wouldn't let Rick back drop him.  Norton then kind of forced Rick up and dropped him in a dominator.  It was weird.  They tried the spot again and this time the backdrop worked.  It went back to the floor where both guys went into the ring post.  Norton 3 or 4 times.  Bulldog for the win.  Norton kicked out at 3, but the match was still over and Rick got out of the ring right away.  I think he was worried he was about to get his ass kicked.

TO THE BACK. Rey tells Kidman that the Horsemen have opened up a title match.  Rey wants Kidman to be his partner tonight.  Kidman is a little iffy, but agrees.

Chris Adams vs Booker T. WCW TV Championship

How is it fair for a guy to be in a tournament and having non-tournament matches at the same time?  I thought it was weird that WCW was using Chris Adams in 1998, but I think it is even weirder that they were still using him a year later.  He's acting like a pasty, pudgy English heel tonight.  Book hits a huge drop kick and they have a handshake.  No SWERVES.  Just a handshake.  Book hits an awkward lariatoo in the corner.  Ax kick.  Book's foot actually hit Adams in the face on the way up and down.  Just clipped him, but looked like it probably hurt.  Adams sends Book to the floor and throws Book into the rail.  Super kick!  Back in the ring, a powerbomb.  For the pin!  No.  Book kicked out for the save.  Spin kick.  Spinewalkslambuster.  Flapjack Norton.  Harlem side kick.  Missile dropkick for the win. Title retained.

Chris Jericho vs Jerry Flynn

Jericho gets a huge ovation coming out.  Jericho talks about being Canadian, growing up in Canada, and becoming everything he is in Canada.   But now, he lives in the U.S.  Coming back to Toronto made him realize CANADA SUCKS.  Lol, these two fans were legit shook.  One guy in particular looked crushed. He had his flag all ready and everything.  Flynn attacked Jericho.  Jericho comes back.   This is into the 2nd hour before the first Canadian shows up and he heels on the crowd.  And the other two major Canadians are also heels.  They completely botch a slingshot, but Flynn at least nicely recovers by turning it into a leg lock.  Fisherman buster from Jericho.  Lionsault.   Liontamer is countered into a roll up.  They botch a powerbomb into a roll up spot.  Jericho was in the ropes as he tried to do the roll up, so he gave it up and rolled Flynn up in one of the other corners.

Gene and the Nitro Girls hawk this Beetle Adventure Racing sweepstakes.  Spice looked BANGING in her outfit.  God damn.

Bret Hart comes to the ring.  Huge ovation for Bret.  He talks about how nice it is to have people be happy to see him and have some kids in the audience.  People are mad about DA RATINGS, but he doesn't give a shit, he just wants to recite "O Canada".  He can't get a title shot to save his life.  Hogan and Flair are both scared of him.  He calls William Goldberg out.  Ya big chicken!  Apparently Goldberg said he'd put up a bunch of money to face Steve Austin (which I assume is the challenge from The Tonight Show that was hyped, but never actually mentioned on TV), but Bret beat Steve Austin every time they fought.  Huge pop for that.  Bret takes his Hitmen jersey off to reveal a Maple Leafs jersey. Shouldn't they be the Maple Leaves?  Spear!  But Goldberg isn't getting up, either.  Bret stirs.  He rolls Goldberg over.  The crowd counts the pin.  He then reveals he was wearing a medal plate around his stomach.  SWERVE!  He grabs a mic and tells Bischoff and the WCW that he quits.  Bischoff was briefly shown right before they cut to commercial.  But Ric Flair is the president.  Am I being SWERVED again?  Bischoff's confrontation with Bret from the break was shown when they came back.  So, are they acknowledging that Eric is still in control off screen, even though Flair is supposed to be the president now?  SHOOT!

Recap of the Steiner/Buff break up.

Buff Bagwell vs Norman Smiley

Buff has his new music, but doesn't have the top hat or pyro yet.  Buff cuts a face promo.  I guess he's no longer part of the Wolfpac.  Norman got a huge reaction.  However, the crowd is terribly mic'd.  They look like they're making much more noise that what we hear.  Buff pops up in the camera to say, "I didn't know we hired Warren Moon!'.  Buff is sent to the floor and the camera STAYS ON BUFF WHILE NORMAN DOES THE BIG WIGGLE.  What the fuck.  Buff does a SHOOT inverted atomic drop.  Norman gets his knees up on a splash and fucking decked Buff in the corner.  Smiley Slam!  I love Brain marking out for it every time.  It's his favorite move.  Chin lock from Norman.  Tenay and Brain keep fucking with Tony for not pronouncing Smiley's name properly.  Norman works on the neck for a while.  Buff makes a come back.  Blockbuster for the win.

Dean Malenko/Chris Benoit vs Rey Mysterio Jr./Kidman WCW Tag Team Championships

This is going to have to save the show.  Besides the Hart SWERVE, the show has been not good.  Fucking brutal chop and back drop on Kidman to start out.  Backbreaker.  Benoit is already in a bad mood.  He's going to break Kidman's sternum with chops.  Punch to the back of the neck.  BK Bomb!  Kidman wisely gets the fuck out of there.  Tags are made.  Rey doesn't have much more luck against Dean.  Or Benoit.  These fucking chops tonight.  Rey makes a brief come back only to get caught in the powerbomb doomsday device that crushed him.  Dean goes for the Cloverleaf, but Rey is able to make a tag.  YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB KIDMAN! Tornado bulldog.  Rey and Benoit go to the floor.  Super gutbuster!  One of my all time favorite moves.  We go to a break with the Horsemen in control and they're still in control when we come back.  Stalling suplex from Dean.  He knocks Rey off the apron just for fun.  Back suplex.  Double Flapjack Norton.  Gutwrench gutbuster from Benoit.  Heel Horsemen are fucking MEAN.  Rey counters a tilt a whirl back breaker with a rana.  He then backdrops Kidman to the floor on top of Benoit.  Rey then did a rope stunner, but definitely went flying off the apron and no doubt splattered into the guardrail, although the camera wasn't on him.  Raven and Saturn walk out.  Rey tries a diving rana.  Dean counters it into a powerbomb.  He locks on the Cloverleaf.  Raven Evenflows Dean.  New champions!  Rey is now a double champion.  This match was fucking boss.  Probably the best match of 1999 so far.

Recap of some of the activities from Spring Breakout.  It was actually just a plug for Cinnaburst gum.  They had a contest for the UNBELIEVABLE prize of...$1000.  That's not really that much.  Certainly not unbelievable.

DDP vs Hollywood Hogan

DDP is jacked.  Fans are 100% behind Hogan.  It's so fucking weird that DDP takes two months off and comes back as a heel, literally for no reason.  Hulk dominates the opening minutes.  When we come back from break, they're fighting at the announce booth.  Now they're up on the stage.  They're trying to tear it apart.  One side of the the WCW logo is knocked over.  "Mark Ten...Sorry, Mike Tenay".  "You were right the first time."  Lol.  They get back to the ring and Hogan has his belt off.  DDP uses it.  Flair attacks Hogan on the floor.  DDP knocks Flair down.  More belt shots.  Discuss this lariatoo.  Spinning neck breaker. Hulk comes back with a suplex and series of elbows.  Hogan attempts the rolling cross armbreaker, but DDP doesn't roll with it at all, so it ends up being a reverse cross arm breaker.  Small package!  DDP with another lariatooo.  Ref bump.  Big boot.  DDP dodges the leg drop.  Charles Robinson is the new ref.  Another lariatoo. Hulk is Hulking up!  Flair accidentally hits DDP with a chair shot that even Sid would be ashamed of.  Hogan gets rid of Flair.  Leg drop to DDP.  Robinson won't make the count, so Hogan decks him.  Mickie Jay makes the cover.  Hogan wins.  What a cluster fuck of a finish.

DQ Count: 0 out of 8 matches.

First off, Horsemen vs Kidman/Rey was great.  The Bret SWERVE was pretty boss.  Hogan/DDP was a wild brawl.  Everything else was dogshit. But let's really think about how we got here.  Hogan is now the top babyface.  Flair is the top heel.  It happened because Hogan used Flair's son against him, and then Flair stopped trying to fix it a month later, so Hogan said that was pretty gross.  Somehow from that, they switched roles.  Hogan is the bad guy, here.  I get Flair being crazy when it comes to Hogan, but he turned full heel against everyone and the Horsemen turned with him.  Except for Arn, maybe.  He prevented Flair from getting a cheap win on Thunder, but it wasn't mentioned at all on Nitro.  The pay off to the Finger Poke of Doom, which was supposed to give Goldberg an angle because the chase is better than the win, is now Hogan being the top babyface while Goldberg got punked out by a dude who quit right after.  And in fact, it seems like they're building to Nash vs Hogan, but for real this time.  Remember they spent four fucking months of nWo break up last year?  Are they really going to do it again?

DDP comes back and is a heel for no reason at all.  Despite that, he still wants to face Steiner, who has moved on to a feud with Buff.  Steiner wasn't even at the show.  Goldberg has no angle if Bret is going to be gone.  Scott Hall is hurt and no one mentioned why he wasn't on TV or why he was stripped of his championship.  The US tournament wasn't mentioned tonight.  But basically, the main thing to come out of the Finger Poke of Doom is that Hogan is back on top as a face.