WCW Monday Nitro 3/15/99

TO THE HOTEL.  David Flair was checking into a hotel when the woman that was having dinner with Hogan, Nash, and Torrie showed up and flirted with him.

IT'S A NEW DAY IN WCW!  Ric Flair is 14 times, 14 times, FOUR-TEEN-TIMES-THE-MAN.  He's also WCW president 4LYFE.  The Horsemen are tag champs.  Booker T is TV Champion again.  Raven's sister put her head on his balls to cost him the match and join Hak.  Mikey Whipwreck made his debut.  Stevie Ray is officially in charge of the B Team.

TO THE NITRO PARTY.  Fuck you, Riki.

RAPPIN WITH THE CAT.  Cat had a weird interview session.  Kind of like a really low rent press conference.

Meng vs Jerry Flynn

A match?  In the first hour?  WUT DA HAYLE?  Meng attacks right as Flynn gets in the ring.  Jerry fights back with some kicks and attempts his spin kick in the corner.  However, Meng caught him and threw him.  Powerslam.  Piledriver.  Jerry attempts a come back with a cross arm breaker.  Meng gets to the ropes.  Lou Thesz Press!  Tongan Death Grip for the win. This was super stiff.

TO THE NITRO PARTY.  Fuck you, Riki.

Make sure to watch MTV Beach Brawl this weekend.  If you forgot what that was, it was a WCW show with a band playing the whole time and had Raven, Kid Rock, and Jimmy Hart on commentary.

TO THE HOTEL.  The hot lady follows David to his room.  This is in the nWo filter and also features at least 4 cameras.  Not only that, but this plan was announced on TV.  Why would the nWo pay for their evil schemes to be put on TV for everyone to see?

TO THE NITRO PARTY.  Fuck you, Riki.  Raven is at the party.  He talks about his sister, including mentions of Dutch Ovens and setting hair on fire.

Chris Adams vs Rick Steiner

Powerslam from Rick.  All Tony can talk about is how it is too bad if the nWo or nWo fans are upset with Flair winning and Charles Robinson perhaps being biased.  TOO BAD.  Rick is pretty mean tonight.  They had a stiff exchange in the corner with neither guy budging.  Back suplex and a superkick almost wins the match.  I don't know what happened, but they are knocking the shit out of each other.  I'll assume it was Rick being a dickhead and Adams not wanting to take that shit.

Disco comes out to the announce booth.  He's upset he doesn't get his own video when Konnan gets his played every week.  He asks kindly for the video not to be played this week.  They play it anyway.  Lol, it's Disco's version.  OIL OF OLAY ALL DAY EVERYDAY!


TO THE HOTEL. Nash and Torrie are watching a video of the hot girl and David. David reveals that he is in love with someone and doesn't want this girl to stay.  Nash can't believe Torrie might be into this. Then they do a full The Graduate parody, complete with the camera shot between her legs. There were at least TWO cameras in the room with them that no one noticed. Nash and Torrie then talked about their plans and who owes who what now. All of this is on TV, so David could easily see all of it. 

TO THE NITRO PARTY.  Fuck you, Riki.  Oh shit, Norman Smiley is going to show him how to dance!  Norman loves to wiggle in Cali!  Next week is Spring Breakout and Norman will be wiggling in Panama City.

TO THE BACK.  A white limo arrives.  It's Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Charles Robinson,  and a few dames.  BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?  I think one of them was Nina Hartley.  Isn't it weird that Ric talks about his wife all the time, yet also talks about fucking bitches all the time? Do you think that contributed to his many divorces?


TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. They head straight to the ring.  Gene talks to Robinson first about his role in the match.  Arn cuts him off. Robinson's respect for Ric Flair didn't influence his decision to call the match in Flair's favor.  He says Flair's cut was superficial, but Hogan's wasn't.  However, Hogan was PINNED (with a submission).  He didn't lose by stoppage.  Flair talks and Goldberg comes out.  He considers himself the number one contender and wants a title shot TONIGHT.  Kevin Nash comes out.  He says that's bullshit, Flair screwed Hogan out of the title, and Nash should get a shot.  This brings Hogan out.  Hulk implies the women with Flair are hookers, which is odd since he was paying a woman $20K to fuck David Flair.  Nash suggests Flair/Goldberg vs Hogan/Nash.  Goldberg shoves Flair down.  IT IS ON!

TO THE BACK.  VINCE confronted Whoreass about screwing him last night.  Horace said he threw the slapjack in the middle of the ring and whoever got it.  VINCE claims that Hulk made him the boss.  Horace says he's the boss.  But Stevie won the right so he's the boss, right? That was the whole point of that match.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs Kidman WCW Cruiserweight Championship

Kidman's music started and stopped, then started back a few seconds later.  It was awkward.  Standard cruiser opening.  Kidman goes over the top and to the floor.  Rey follows up with a diving rana off the apron.   Springboard back in is countered with a dropkick.  This time, Rey gets sent to the floor.  Pescado.  Kidman is in control when we come back from break.  A head scissors sends Kidman back out.  Springboard seated senton.  Rey comes back in with a springboard guillotine leg drop.  Kidman hits an Emerald Flowsion, but Rey comes back with a super rana.  Sit out pedigree only gets a 2 count.  BK BOMB.  Pop up X-Factor.  Modified version of YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB KIDMAN.  SSP is avoided.  Springboard rana only gets a 2 count.  Rey wins with a super wheelbarrow bulldog.  New champion!

TO THE BACK.  Stevie confronts Horace.  It is revealed that Hulk made both of them the boss.  Stevie punches Whoreass.  Disco comes in.  Horace wants that TURKEY Stevie Ray in the ring.

TO THE MEAN GENE. The new tag champs are the guests.  I wonder why they weren't out there with Flair earlier.  They're going to be good champs is basically all they said.

Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs Hugh Morrus/Barbarian WCW Tag Team Championships

Barb and Benoit start out.  Stiff chops from both guys.  Hugh comes in and gets his nipples chopped off.  Northern light suplex to Hugh.  It settles down with Dean as FIP.  Benoit gets the hot tag.  German suplex.   Maybe it wasn't a tag.  Faces of Fear Bomb to Malenko, with Hugh setting his knee out for extra impact.  Looked like shit, though.  Barb then accidentally boots Hugh.  Benoit hits the diving headbutt for the win.  So he was legal?

Scott Steiner and Buff come to the ring.  Tony talks about Booker winning the TV Championship like it was the biggest win of his career, despite winning the title at least 76 times in 1998.  Scott heels all over Cincinnati.  Scott says the Wolfpac is perfect, but someone fumbled last night.  That person is Buff.  He says that Buff hasn't been the same since hurting his neck, and maybe he doesn't belong anymore.  Maybe Scotty is jealous now that Buff is back in shape.  They make up, but Scott does a spinning belly to belly and attacks with a chair.  SWERVE! Steiner Recliner!

Horace vs Stevie Ray

I thought Stevie won the right to be the leader of the B Team last night, but I must have been mistaken.  Fuck the match.  VINCE came out with a chair.  He just stood on the apron with it, which meant Horace would get sent into him and the chair.  Stevie wins and chases VINCE away.

Konnan vs Disco Inferno

Fuck Konnan.  Lex came out with the wrong arm taped up.  He hit Konnan with it.  Chart Buster.  Disco wins!  Olay!

Chris Jericho vs Booker T. WCW TV Championship

No Ralphus.  I guess Jericho fired him.  Jericho has the same hair and facial hair as he would have at WM19.  Chain wrasslin.  That's a pun.  Because Jericho was in a chain match the night before.  STICK IT, brother.  Flying forearm.  Side slam.  Back drop sends Jericho flying to the floor.  Jericho gains control of the match while on the floor.  We go to break after a triangle dropkick.  Book almost wins with a roll up out of the corner.  Spin kick.  Spinewalkslambuster.  Jericho pulls the ref in the way of the missile dropkick.  Where have I seen that spot before?  Jericho is disqualified.

Hollywood Hogan/Kevin Nash vs Goldberg/Ric Flair

Goldberg starts the match by press slamming Ric Flair. I guess he's not that worried about winning this.  Nash takes the opportunity and hits a side slam.  Hogan gets tagged in and goes to work on Flair.  Flair flip right into a Nash big boot.  Flair goes up top because it isn't a Ric Flair match without a top rope slam.  After a series of AX BOMBAAAs, Flair dive tags out.  Hogan vs Goldberg.  Suplex.   HULK POPS UP!  Ax Bombaaaa.  Goldberg pops up.  Super kick.  They lock up.  Hulk gets the advantage in the corner.  Goldberg gets tired of buckle rams and stops that shit cold.  Hulk continues his offense with some cheap shots.  Goldberg tries an Irish whip, but Hogan holds on twice.  Sandwich lariatoos from the nWo.  Nash comes in and goes HAM with knees and elbows.  Double big boot.  Goldberg SHOOT slams Nash and kicks his face off.  Belly to back.  Goldberg kicks out at one.  Goldberg gets back into things with a big boot and lariatoo to Nash, but Nash hits a low blow and tags out.  Shoulder block to Hogan.  Flair blind tags himself in.  Hulk is HULKING UP!  He hits Goldberg for fun, who comes in the ring and gets drilled in the face with a Nash boot.  Hulk hits the leg drop, but Charles Robinson won't make the pin.  Hogan decks him.  Goldberg spears Hogan.  WE'RE OUTTA TIME!

DQ Count: 2 out of 7 matches.

This was a fun show.  Crowd was hot, cruiser match was good, main event was super fun and weird since fans were definitely on the nWo's side, but also Goldberg, but then cheered when Goldberg got dropped.  At least they were into it.  That's what mattered.  And Hogan/Nash came with their working boots on.  I don't think this match made it to either Best of Nitro set, but it should have.