WCW Monday Nitro 6/28/99

Show starts with a recap of last week's show.

TO THE JORDAN.  A limo arrives in front of a Michael Jordan statue.  It's Ric and David Flair and the owner of the United Center.  David Flair will leave Nitro as WCW Champion tonight!  He's going to build a statue of David 10 times bigger than the one of Jordan.  BUT WHO WAS LIMO!?!

Fit Finlay/Steven Regal vs Saturn/Chris Benoit

In addition to David vs Nash, we'll have Bam Bam/DDP vs Buff/Dean, and a dance off between Disco and Cat.  This is Regal's first match in WCW since he tried to make Goldberg look like a punk and got fired.  He had that super short run as a Man, Such a Man in the WWF and addiction to pain killers, got clean, and then came back to WCW.  Benoit and Finlay start out.  They soon go to a break and Finlay is dominating Saturn when we come back.  Regal comes in and looks to be in much better shape than he was the last time he was on WCW TV.  Hot tag to Benoit.  Diving headbutt to Regal.  Iron Crossface on Finlay.  Regal breaks it up and then puts Saturn in the Regal Stretch.  It breaks down.  DVD on Regal for the win. 

DJ Ran got in my area.

TO THE OVAL OFFICE. The whole group is having fun talking about David when Hammer comes in.  He says that he's been on a roll lately and would like a title shot.  They give him Rick Steiner at BATB.

TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE.  Arn, Asya, Ric, Roddy, and the returning Charles Robinson come to the ring.  Arn is wearing a completely different outfit from the last segment.  He was wearing a white polo and Bermuda shorts with loafers.  Now he's wearing jeans and a sleeveless denim shirt.  Piper shits on Howard Stern, saying he's hung like a pimple.  I guess Stern said something about him on his show and Piper took offense.  Ric calls Randy Savage down to apologize.  Team Madness come to the ring.  Ric wants Sid and Savage to be lumberjacks in the title match, and he'll reinstate the elbow if Savage agrees.  Robinson strongly objects and had to be pulled away from the mic.  Savage doesn't even care about being champion.  Oh really?  Since when? Sid and Savage agree to let the madness run free tonight.  There were only 11 people in the ring for this promo segment.

TO THE BACK.  Lenny is painting his nails.  He's worried about what WCW will do when they find out about he and Lodi.  Lodi says they aren't the only ones in the company and to relax.

Lodi vs Eddie Guerrero

There is a ref bump in the first 20 seconds.  Eddie takes both guys out with ease.  As he goes up for the frog splash, Lenny covered Lodi 69 style, begging Eddie not to do the frog splash.  He did it anyway and wins in a complete squash.

TO THE OVAL OFFICE. Flair and Piper are going over the game plan for David.  They've added the Jersey Triad to the lumberjacks.

DJ Ran can STICK IT, brother.  The Nitro Girls do their thing.

Hak vs Bam Bam BAGAlow

YO!  Sandman called Ric Flair out for banning hardcore matches.  Instead, Bam Bam came out.  Sandman's voice is completely shot.  Sandman wrestles without his shirt and what's really weird is that he's in pretty decent shape.  He kind of has abs.  He dropped a solid 30 pounds since he started with WCW.  This is a straight match between these two. After a few minutes, Sandman hit a big spinning DDT.  The rest of the Triad came out.  All three men got cane shots, but DDP hit a Kanyon Cutter.  BANG!  Bam Bam made the pin.  YO! 

Kevin Nash came to the ring.  He again says that WCW doesn't want him as champion and his only ally is at home in Orlando.  Nash agrees to the match, but he wants Torrie for 72 hours if he wins.  He doesn't need a week or 30 days, because Torrie will be ruined after 72 hours of Big Sexy.

DJ Ran is still in my fucking area.

nWo B Team vs West Texas Rednecks

Tony kind of likes Rap is Crap.  An all heel 8 man tag.  Makes total sense.  Duncum and Kendall hit a double bulldog on VINCE for the win.

TO THE DANCE OFF.  Two heels having a dance off after an all heel 8 man tag.  Remember that Disco is the one who kicked off the young guys vs old guy story.  Cat threatens the fans before he dances.  Cat dances first.  Disco was clearly the fan favorite, and Cat attacked Disco.  However, this wasn't shown because instead the camera was focused on the Nitro Girls watching it.

The Cat vs Disco Inferno

I didn't realize they were having a dance off AND a match.  Not only does Nick Patrick look like Kenny Powers, he sounds like him, too.  Poor Disco hasn't been able to get started.  Last Dance OUTTA NOWHERE!  Disco does Cat's dance.  Sonny tried to break the pin, but ended up kicking Cat on accident.  Cat hit a kick with the ruby slipper.  Jerry Flynn came out, which made Sonny run into the ring and on top of Cat.  I guess that broke the pin.  Regardless, Flynn kicked Cat, causing a DQ. Flynn makes a challenge for a kick boxing match on Nitro.  As he was walking back, he said "That's the way you take care of Ernest fucking Miller", and then realized what he said directly into the camera. Sadly, it is bleeped on the Network version.

They replay the opening with the Flairs and Uncle Bruce. The whole thing.

DJ Ran scratches Living Dead Girl.

Buff Bagwell/Dean Malenko vs DDP/Kanyon

I don't think this is a title match.  Arn and Flair are at the announce table.  Arn will be the ref in the title match instead of Charles Robinson.  Dean and DDP start out, with Dean showing DDP up repeatedly. Tags are made.  Kanyon did some of Buff's poses.  Bam Bam takes some cheap shots and Dean is FIP for a bit.  Buff gets the hot tag.  Blockbuster attempt is stopped by Bam Bam.  Bam Bam is now in the match because Triad Rules are even more advantageous than Freebird Rules.  DDP and Kanyon attempted the Power Plex, but Kanyon missed the splash.  There was a ref bump.  Super Kanyon Cutter to Dean.  BANG!  Kanyon made the pin.


We're shown the world premier of the I Hate Rap (Rap is Crap). 

DJ Ran spins Bang Your Head.  Kind of defeats the rap is crap angle when the DJ is playing rock and metal all night.

Scott Putski vs Sid

Putski has a new look.  He's still a jobber.  One of the longest entrances I've ever seen with no music and no reaction.  Then the match starts and for 2 minutes has no action at all, with the girls on the apron distracting Putski and Putski backing away.  2 full minutes.  The entrance was 2-3 as well.  Zero reaction for any of it.  Powerbomb for the win in the least energetic squash I think I've ever seen.  Savage did the laziest top rope elbow after the match.  He didn't even jump.  He just stepped off the ropes.  I don't think I've ever seen a segment that had such weird and negative energy to it.

Nitro Girls dance to Van Halen knock off music.

TO THE BACK.  Nash makes his way out of his locker room.  David Flair does the same on the opposite side of the arena.  He's wearing one of Ric's robes.

David Flair vs Kevin Nash WCW Championship Lumberjack Match

Arn is the ref.  Sid, Savage, Flair, Robinson, Piper, Mona, George, Madusa, and the Triad are lumberjacks.  The bell rings and David drops to the floor as the lumberjacks hit the ring and attack Nash.  David puts the figure four on Nash.  Arn makes the pin, but Nash gets his shoulder up and easily gets out of the hold.  Nash takes Mountie's shock stick and starts jabbing everyone with it.  As he walks out, he takes George with him.  Torrie leaves with him voluntarily and happily.  They go straight to Nash's waiting limo.  The black Hummer is out there, and Sting's face is seen in the side mirror.  WE'RE OUTTA TIME!

DQ Count: 1 out of 7 matches.

Why yes, Kevin Nash did book himself to lay out 8 guys and leave with the two hottest women in the company.  Eat your heart out, brother.