WCW Monday Nitro 3/1/99
A 10 bell salute to The Renegade, who committed suicide.
TO THE LIMO. David and Torrie are listening to voice mails from Ric.
Ric Flair will have an extremely important announcement tonight.
Buff and Steiner come to the ring. A lot of heeling on the Carolinas. They're calling Goldberg and Rick Steiner out TONIGHT! This will be Buff's first match in nearly a year.
TO THE NITRO PARTY. Fuck you, Riki.
Nash, Disco, Lex, and Liz come to the ramp. Lex forgives Rey for injuring him. Kevin Nash also forgives Rey. They'd like him to come out and offer him a spot in the Wolfpac. Nash calls Rey up. Rey isn't interested.
Recap of Bret/Booker. All of it, from last Summer to last week.
Psychosis vs Kidman WCW Cruiserweight Championship
It's about time Hypno got a title shot since he's defeated pretty much everyone besides Kidman in the last 3 months. Standard cruiser opening. Kidman gets sent to the floor. Baseball slide. Rebound DDT on the floor from Kidman. They go back in the ring just for Hypno to get sent right back out. Kidman does a crossbody to the floor. Kidman gets caught going up one more time and Hypno does a hanging DDT. YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB KIDMAN! Actually, he didn't even turn it into a facebuster. Hypno does a hanging guillotine with Kidman hanging towards the floor. Too bad the camera shot made it impossible to tell what it looked like. Kidman does a diving rana off the guard rail. Sitout gourdbuster. Kidman slips trying a superplex. BK Bomb. Super rana from Hypno. Tornado bulldog. YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB KIDMAN! For real this time. SSP for the win.
Recap of Horsemen being poor sports after Superbrawl.
TO THE BACK. Arn confronts David. He wants to know if David is really throwing his family away for Torrie. I probably would. I don't even like my family. Torrie was pretty hot. I can see turning away from my family if I got to bone her whenever. The nWo is just using David to get at Ric and when they're done, they're going to throw him away.
TO THE BACK. Hogan is telling VINCE that he needs to get Stevie Ray in check.
TO THE NITRO PARTY. Fuck you, Riki.
Bam Bam Big Yellow vs Rey Mysterio Jr.
Bam Bam throws Rey around like a baby. Rey's speed only works for a few seconds before Bam Bam squashes him. He holds Rey up for seemingly minutes in a press slam. He throws him over the ropes onto security guards. One armed stalling suplex. Enziguri. Dominator. Bammer is killing poor Rey. All until he misses a diving headbutt, and now Rey is totally cool. Diving X-Factor. Tons of pyro goes off DURING THE MATCH because it's the start of hour 2. That's ridiculous. Like full on pyro on the stage and at the ring. How is that safe? Rey wins with a victory roll. Da Giant Killa!
TO THE BACK. Gene caught up with Rey as he came to the back. Nash and Lex attacked him. "STOP THE INSANITY!" Lol, Gene was so pissed. On the other side of the backstage area, Raven and Bam Bam got into a fight. Hak shows up and hits both guys and the camera man with his cane.
TO THE BACK. Ric Flair arrives in his limo. BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!
TO THE BACK. Lex, Nash, and Disco are convincing Stevie to fuck VINCE up.
Jerry Flynn vs The Cat
Oh fuck, Jerry got promo time. He also has his mullet in a pony tail and called Cat out. TO THE BACK. Norton calls Cat a pussy for not heading out to face Jerry Flynn right away. Cat now has his James Brown music. He gets almost to the ring and turns around. Now he's mad about something. He slides in the ring and misses Jerry. Boring chants start up. Karate dudes working headlocks. You'd think they'd be knocking the shit out of each other, but they aren't. Both guys hit a kick at the same time and the ref declares that the first person to get up wins the match. They both got up at the same time, but Cat distracted the ref while Sonny kicked Flynn. Cat wins. Flynn chased Sonny after the match.
Hugh Morrus vs Saturn
This starts in the aisle. Hugh dominates until Saturn can come back with a Gargoyle suplex. Superkick. Fameasser. Jimmy gets involved and they brawl on the floor. Hugh does a terrible Cactus Elbow. Now we get a long chin lock. Hugh goes up top for a double ax handle. Saturn catches him with a Northern Lights suplex. T-bone. Hugh hits a powerbomb out of the corner. Super rana from Saturn. Way too many guys do a super rana in WCW. ALL of the cruisers, Saturn, Steiner, sometimes Jericho. Speaking of, Jericho hit Saturn with a chain while he had Hugh in the DVD. Hugh wins with the moonsault.
TO THE nWo EXPRESS. Buff and Scott were traveling and found a girl to fuck. I guess they are going around in the bus on the way to Spring Breakout.
TO THE MORTAL KOMBAT. Meng was a guest star, fighting against Kung Lao. Lol, Meng doing powerbombs in a MK fight.
Bret Hart vs Chris Benoit
Hopefully this is as good as their first match, which was one of my favorite matches from 1998. Their second match wasn't impressive at all. Actually, that first match was the last decent match Bret was in. Everything since then has been mediocre at best. Canadian chain wrasslin to start it out. Benoit goes to work with chops, but Bret come back with an eye rake. RAINMAKER! Benoit's knuckles are bleeding. DDT. Piledriver. Benoit tries a come back with a small package. Didn't really work. Backdrop drivaaah. It's like Bret is trying to cause Benoit brain damage that would make him kill his family. Sharpshooter is countered into the Iron Crossface. Bret gets to the ropes. Benoit is in a figure four when we come back from break. Bret with some European uppercuts in the corner. Benoit comes back with chops, headbutts, and kitchen sink. Front suplex on the ropes. Initially, it looked like Bret landed on his face, but he didn't. It just looked rough. Snap suplex. Diving headbutt. Double lariatoo. Both guys go over the ropes with a back suplex. Bret takes a scary and nasty bump right on his head. Windham and Hennig ran out and attacked Benoit. They throw him back in the ring. Bret locks on the Sharpshooter. Benoit is in the ropes. Bret wouldn't break it, so he was disqualified. Dean runs out and levels Bret. The tag champs jump in the ring and choke Dean out with a belt.
The MEGA nWo come to the ring. Most of them, anyway. "nWo slash ala WCW..." What the fuck does that even mean, Hulk? He rambles about Flair and says Ric owes it to them to announce his retirement. During Hogan's rambling, VINCE and Stevie got into a fight.
Konnan's new music video.
TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. Ric Flair comes out to make his big announcement. Everyone keeps asking him how David could join the nWo. He doesn't know. He talks about meeting a blond 20 years ago and David was the price he had to pay. That sounds like an insult to David, not some "I love my son" kind of thing. His big announcement is that at Uncensored, he and Hogan will have one more match in a cage with barbed wire at the top. It's gonna be like 1985. I think that was code for "excessive blading".
Scott Steiner/Buff Bagwell vs Goldberg/Rick Steiner
This is Rick's first match since October and Buff's first match in a year. Rick and Buff start out. Steinerline. Buff comes back with an eye rake and drop kick. Powerslam. Tags are made. Shoulder block takes Scott down. He comes right back with a t-bone. He unloads in the corner only for Goldberg to do a multi rep press slam. Rick comes in and gets hit with a belly to belly. Rick undoes the turnbuckle pad in his corner. Rick gets whipped into it. Blatant low blow from Scott right in front of the ref. But as I mentioned before, that's totally cool in WCW now. Goldberg gets the hot tag. He leapfrogs Rick, who then hits a double Steinerline. Spear to Buff. Diving clothesline from Rick to Buff for the win.
DQ Count: 1 out of 6 matches.
Decent show. Bret vs Benoit shouldn't ever be anything less than "really good", but it was another decent match between the two. 6 matches on a 3 hour show is ridiculous.