WCW Monday Nitro 4/12/99
TO THE BACK. Savage and George tell DDP that he owes them. Scott Steiner then ambushes DDP with a chair and throws him over the catering table while screaming unintelligible stuff. I'm not sure if this was actually from last night, or live on the show, or earlier today.
Riki and DJ Ran introduce the Nitro Girls.
DDP will defend against Scott Steiner tonight! We're then shown Kim getting ejected from the car a few months ago.
Sting comes to the ring. It's good to be back in black. People have tried to put him out of wrestling, but it won't ever happen. I guess he wasn't counting on that rat faced cunt Seth Rollins to come along. He says that he is the only man who can say he built WCW. Not DDP, not Hogan, not Goldberg, not Flair (all implied). He calls DDP out TONIGHT!
Rey Mysterio Jr. vs Juventud Guerrera WCW Cruiserweight Championship
Both of these guys should still have masks. Juvi right away goes for a knee bar. They kick each other until the hold is broken. Spinbuster into another submission. This leads to that goofy lucha spot where guys stand on their head and slap each other. DDT from Juvi. Spinning head scissors. Juvi is on a roll. Juvi fakes a dive and does a pescado instead. Rey goes hip first into the steps. Powerbomb. Juvi has dominated this match. The first bit of real offense Rey gets is a super rana, which the camera misses to show Dean and Benoit running in. They attack both men until Saturn and Raven make a save. Not Kidman, Rey's tag team partner.
TO THE BACK. Jimmy was talking to Hugh about the king of hardcore when Sandman walks up and shows Hugh how to beat Bam Bam. He does this by hitting Hugh in the head with his cane. Hugh laughs it of, takes the cane, and beats up a stage hand with it.
Bobby and Tony talk about Bret quitting and show clips of Bret on Later last week. Bret lost all confidence with how WCW handled him. He doesn't need to wrestle for a living anymore. It was a shame what the WWF did to him, but it's also a shame what WCW HASN'T done with him.
Hugh Morrus vs Bam Bam Bigelow Kendo Stick Match
Bam Bam puts two tables in the ring before the match. Tony wonders what the budget is for tables. They hit each other with sticks at the same time and drop them. Bam Bam slams Hugh and misses a moonsault. Then Hugh does the same thing. Double clothesline. Bam Bam goes through a table in the corner. Hugh went into the same broken table trying to squash Bam Bam or something. Hugh tries to stab Bam Bam with the cane from the top, but drove it into his own jaw. A lariatooo sends Bam Bam down. Hugh moonsaults through a table. Bam Bam drops a diving headbutt for the win. Jimmy hit Bammer with a stick after the match, but ran away before he could get hit back.
TO THE BACK. Rey confronts Kidman about why he wasn't out there to watch his back. Kidman says he just got to the building because he was sent out on a personal appearance.
Highlights of the four corners match last night.
TO THE MEAN SCUM. New champion, DDP comes to the ring. He talks about being the anomaly because DDP wasn't supposed to happen. If there is one thing I've learned about DDP, it's that he really loves to talk about himself making it when no one thought he could. He then apologizes to Hogan for injuring his leg. DDP sees a lot of himself in Sting. Sting deserves a shot tonight. BUT, he can't do it tonight because he already has a match. Instead of "SCUM", he said "here" about 30 times. This was a face promo, so I don't know what the fuck is going on with DDP's character.
I like that every shot of the announcers has Tony with a bottle of Surge. So shameless.
TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. Arn and Charles Robinson come out with Flair. We get word that Roddy Piper has arrived to the building. After a good night's sleep, Ric Flair has made the decision to hold the title up. The title is held in abeyance! This brings out Randy Savage and Gorgeous George. Savage brings out a contract that Ric Flair signed, but he doesn't actually say what the contract says. However, he is the universal heartthrob, the showstopper, and the cock of the walk. Apparently the contract said that Savage's decision was final. Flair says he isn't reinstating Savage and he won't wrestle in WCW again. Charles Robinson steps up and says Savage isn't qualified to referee. He calls George a bimbo and she slaps him. Savage suggests his girl against Flair's girl at Slamboree. If George wins, Savage will be reinstated. Sting comes out. Since he can't face DDP or Savage, he wants a match with Flair tonight! "This is the greatest Nitro in the history of Monday Nitro."
La Parka/El Dandy vs Master Blasters
The new Master Blasters! They are two big jacked up dudes with panty hose on their heads. Kevin Nash came out (with a bottle of Surge) to tell everyone to get out of the ring because he has something to say. He then takes all four guys out. He shows video from last week of Hulk getting mad about Flair/Nash talking. He revealed the plan they made: If Flair made it out of Nitro that night with the title, Nash would get a title shot at the next PPV. I guess that explains why he broke up Goldberg's winning pinfall, even though THAT would have given him a title shot, too. What DDP did to Hogan was wrong and he will pay.
DJ Ran bullshit.
Kidman vs Psychosis
Hypno dominates the champ. Pop up rana. A roll up almost ends the match. Sitout gourdbuster. Dropkick sends Kidman to the floor. Headbutt suicida. Missile dropkick. Kidman is getting his ass kicked. He gets sent back to the floor. This time, he catches Hypno's dive with a drop kick. Cross body. Super rana from Hypno. Tornado bulldog. YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB KIDMAN. SSP for the win.
Recap of Nash vs Goldberg.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Goldberg is the guest. He slips on the ramp coming out. Somehow, he's the first one to do so. I really thought that a bunch of people slipped the first night, but Goldberg is the first I've noticed. Goldberg defeated Kevin Nash at "Spring Tampede". Is that a stampede of tampons? What are you trying to say, Gene? "Screwed" is muted. Gene tells him he can say it again. No, he really can't. He's going to fuck Bret up some time. He's also going to knock the shit out of Lex. He's coming for his championship
More DJ Ran bullshit. Who that anyone wanted a DJ at these shows?
Rick Steiner vs Booker T. WCW TV Championship
Rick dumps Book on his head with a German suplex. Flying forearm. Ax kick ends up being just a kick in the face because Rick didn't bend over far enough. I wonder if Rick even resolved his issues with Chucky. Man, I don't want to watch Rick Steiner matches. Ref bump. Stevie cost Rick the match. Booker didn't appear to know. Title retained.
Scott Steiner comes out and rambles about DDP and WHITE TRAAAAAAAASH.
DJ Ran all up your area! God, Tony and Brain saying YEYA YEYA YEYA along with DJ Ran was both hilarious and awful.
Kenny Kaos vs Goldberg
Kenny tries his best, but you can't fuck with Goldberg.
DJ Ran shit. DJ and Riki. Get that shit out of here.
Ric Flair vs Sting
This was exactly the match you think it was. Savage came out and drilled Arn. Sting hits the Deathdrop and forces Charles Robinson to count the fall. Arn Anderson was put in the Deathlock after the match.
Scott Steiner vs DDP WCW Championship
Roddy Piper is the "Special Nitro Championship Match Broadcast Announcer" for the match. Kim comes out with DDP just for DDP to put her in the front row. What's the point? Why wouldn't you just leave her in the back? He put her in the front row to keep her away from Scott Steiner. You know, by putting her a few feet away from Steiner at all times. They start knocking the shit out of each other right away. It goes to the floor and the announce table. I guess the one benefit to having the announcers no where near the ring is that we didn't have to have a weekly spot of the announcers running off. We go to break. When we come back, Steiner is doing a spinning belly to belly. Piper is burying DDP the whole match. I like Kim sitting in the crowd and smiling while Steiner is kicking the shit out of her husband. Piper is just rambling and saying terrible jokes. Super Frankensteiner. DDP barely kicks out. He finally makes a comeback with a lariatoo. Spinning neck breaker. Pancake Norton. Piper repeatedly points out what Steiner did to Kim and that he can't understand why DDP is wasting time. Ref bump. Low blow. Steiner gets bolt cutters and removes the top turnbuckle. DDP goes face first into it. Oklahoma Stampedes. This is what put DDP out of action. Steiner Recliner. Scott let it go to check on the ref. Jumping DDT. Another low blow. Tiger bomb. DDP repeatedly headbutts Scott in the junk. Kim jumps the railing and waffles Scott with a chair! She hit him harder than I've ever seen Sid, Hogan, or Flair swing a chair. Kanyon Cutter! BANG! DDP retains.
DQ Count: 2 out of 8 matches.
The first announced match for Slamboree is Gorgeous George vs Charles Robinson. The second is Nash vs DDP for the title, even though Nash lost the night before to Goldberg. Not sure what the deal with DDP is, since he was a heel last week and at Spring Stampede, but a face tonight, but then Piper did commentary as if DDP was a heel.