WCW Monday Nitro 7/27/1998

Thunder was off the air for a few weeks. They do a TNA style “Previously, on Nitro” which actually made last week make more sense. The nWo had Norton and nWo Japan return and beat up the midcard, Hall and Giant brought the tag titles back, and Bret won the US Championship. Then, DDP was sent away in an ambulance. None of this was tied together on the show as some big Hogan led assault. I don’t know why they didn’t play that up last week. Well, I think I do.

The good news is that DDP is back and wants Hogan in the ring! There will also be an interview with Goldberg. He will defend his title against Brian Adams.

The nWo come to the ring. Everyone except for Hogan and Bischoff. Hall leads the promo saying he’s going to puke if he hears Nash bitching any more. Hogan made the call to have a big nWo battle royal at Road Wild. Crush has a cup of shut the hell up for the whole audience. He rants about Goldberg and Japan and Hogan and it is terrible. 

Recap of Bischoff doing Leno’s jokes last week.

After break, Raven is in the ring crying about how people hated him in school and they still hate him now. Maybe because he’s being a whiny bitch all the time. Saturn runs out in some short jorts, combat boots with the socks showing, and a nice sweater vest t-shirt. Kanyon comes out to attack Saturn, but Saturn hit a t-bone. He then picks Raven up for the DVD, but Kanyon saves Raven again and hits the Flatliner. Bang? 

Barbarian vs Jim Duggan

Come on. Superstars main event in 1990, right here. Too bad this is 1998 and in the era of Austin, DX, and the nWo. I wish Barb still had his antlers. Barb accidentally boots Jimmy and Duggan rolls him up for the win. Jimmy was totally fine 20 seconds later when Hugh and Meng came out. Duggan and Meng fight off the heels. Duggan offers a handshake and gets the Tongan death grip. Well, fucking duh.

TO THE BACK. A star of the show sign in the parking lot with a beat up car parked in front of it. The nWo band is playing, which means we’re about to get nWo Nightcap.

TO THE NWO NIGHTCAP. Fuck. It can’t be worse than last week, can it? At least Liz looks stunning in her night dress. This is so bad. I’d love to see the quarter breakdowns for these. These are absolute channel turners. What the fuck, now he’s making a Max Headroom reference. This is embarrassing. Now he’s doing the headlines segment. How long is this going to go? Hogan is the guest. All of the crowd audio is canned stuff that even Smackdown staff would be embarrassed of. Happy birthday to Nitro Nick. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, they show a clip from the Tonight Show with Kevin telling Jay about Bischoff making fun of him. And that is as awful as you can imagine. They then show Leno watching Bischoff do his monologue from last week. This is some Inception shit going on. Hogan is threatening getting lawyers involved and tells Leno to watch himself in Sturgis. This was 20 minutes straight with no commercials, commentary, or wrestling of any kind. And there will be more later tonight.

TO THE MEAN GENE. DDP is the guest. He says SCUM twice in 30 seconds and also says “sucks” which was muted. He had zero to say about Bret Hart beating him last week. This show is shaping up to be one of the worst I’ve seen, including 2000 stuff.

Scott Norton vs Jim Neidhart

DUSTY RHODES and Hall come to the announce booth with Norton. God, let Dusty call the rest of the show. It is the only thing that can save it right now. Since Nash is a pussy, Hall wants Sting tonight. Dusty makes it clear that before the show, Larry was told by management that his conduct is unbecoming of his position as an announcer. Dusty goes on to say he was the best announcer of all time and there was COLLUSION if you wheel to get Dusty out of the booth. “Now you butcher the English language!” Fucking lol. Dusty is amazing. Dusty has a gag rag. By Texas rules, Larry is now under a Texas gag order. Dusty and Arn with the best promos in the last 2 weeks. This is a one move match. Crazy powerbomb. Norton picked Anvil up like he was a cruiserweight. 

7 27 98.mp4_snapshot_00.47.15_[2016.01.31_18.36.55].jpg

TO THE BACK. We’re going to see Goldberg’s intro. When security opens the door, we find the room has been ransacked and nWo is spray painted all over the walls.

Bret Hart comes to the ring. He says finally, one of the good guys won. He also tells DDP to stop making excuses. DDP didn’t make any excuses since he didn’t even mention Bret. Bret will give anyone and everyone a title shot. He goes on to say that Sting doesn’t need to apologize to him and the reason he hasn’t officially joined the nWo is out of respect for Sting. “Sting, I’m your friend.”

Chris Jericho vs Dean Malenko WCW Cruiserweight Championship Never Again Match

Jericho comes out wearing a Baba styled kimono. Maybe he also retired Baba? Jericho hits a baseball slide as Dean is getting in the ring. They’re going fast and furious. Jericho goes for a super rana, gets thrown off, back flips out, and then Dean does a diving sunset flip. Jericho gets the Liontamer on, but Dean gets to the ropes. Triangle drop kick. Jericho just crushes Dean with a pescado. After a break, Dean is making a come back. He hits a release German suplex. Jericho comes back with a reverse suplex and Lionsault on the back. Dean kicks out! Tiger bomb! Teyhas Cloverleaf! Jericho gets to the ropes. Jericho sets Dean up for a superplex, but Dean reverses it into a top rope DDT! Jericho got to the ropes. He rolled to the floor and got an international object out of his boot. The ref gets hit in the eye on accident. Dean suplexes Jericho and picks up the object. He uses it on Jericho, but the ref saw him and disqualified Dean. Dean will never get another match with Jericho or title shot while Jericho is champion. 

TO THE BACK. Gene is standing in front of Goldberg’s locker room with security. Goldberg is in there being pissed. 

Part of a Travis Tritt video is shown as he will be performing at Roadwild. I am not looking forward to that show at all.

Curt Hennig vs Steve McMichael

7 27 98.mp4_snapshot_01.03.04_[2016.01.31_18.40.11].jpg

Mongo is PISSED and ready to get some revenge on Curt. Hennig is the reason the Horsemen were disbanded in the first place. Rude has some weird facial hair this week. Every show has has different hair and facial hair. Mongo hits a running powerslam. Rude trips him up, which allows for a Perfec Plex for the win. 

TO THE TONIGHT SHOW. Leno has an old, tiny man come out as a pretend Hulk Hogan. It actually wasn’t too far off from what Hulk looks like now. Much like previous shows, Tonight Show footage is cut from WWE Network versions.

Hogan, Bischoff, and Beefcake come to the ring. Clearly they need another promo segment. Hulk says he’s got the war bonnet on tonight. I wish he would have an nWo version of the war bonnet. “You gutter trailer trash puke!” “A little later, I’m gonna ride you real hard, Diamond!” Hulk clearly just did a bump of coke right before he came out. He was FIRED UP. 

TO THE BASH AT THE BEACH. They show DDP/Malone vs Rodman/Hogan. In full. Why on earth are they showing PPV main events on free TV a week after it happened? I skipped it because I didn’t need to watch this again, but I guess it was edited down to only show Hogan and Rodman on offense.

TO THE MEAN GENE. Goldberg has his first interview since being champion. I think it might be his first interview period. “He walks alone” *Has 15 security guards walking beside him* The nWo just made shit personal, and now he’s going to take the whole group out one by one.

TO THE MEAN GENE. Arn Anderson is the guest after the commercial break. Arn and Dusty on the same show. Awesome. Gene asks about the Horsemen rumors. Well, he was thinking about reforming it, but since Dean and Mongo were both losers tonight, he isn’t so hot on it. “I asked you, let it be. Now I’m TELLING you, let it be.” 

Scott Hall vs Sting

They go a little overboard with the smoke at ringside. “Wouldn’t it be great of Jay Leno made a special appearance on one of our shows?” No. It would not be great at all. Hall gets bumped to the floor and goes into stalling mode. Sting goes for a cross body and gets caught in the fall away slam. 3 Stinger splashes. Deathdrop. Bret comes out. Sting drops the Deathlock and hits Bret. Virgil and Perfect then hit Sting. The ref just kept counting instead of calling for the bell. Luger comes out to save Sting. Nash is in the ring all of the sudden. Bret just chills in the corner while Nash hits the shittiest jackknife of all time on Virgil. Nash goes to pick up Hall, but Hall low blows him. Bret helps Sting up, who low blows him and tries to put him in the Deathlock, but Bret slips out right away. What the fuck, Sting. Bret hasn’t done anything to you, and didn’t even fight back after you hit him twice, and then you kick him in the dick when he’s helping you up?

TO THE MEAN GENE. Scott Steiner and Buff come out. Scotty wheels Buff out and accidentally rolls him down the ramp, where he falls. They make a big deal out of it only for Buff to start dancing. Lols for everyone. They are pretty happy with how well they trolled everyone last week. Scott talks about all the places he’s beaten up Rick and will be happy to face him at Roadwild. JoJo comes out and is PISSED and disgusted with Buff. 

Brian Adams vs Goldberg WCW Championship

Crush gets a 2 count off of a top rope shoulder block. He hits a suplex. Powerdriver. Goldberg hits a shitty looking spear on Crush. Virgil gets in the ring and gets speared. Bill then spears Crush again and hits the jackhammer for the win.

Hollywood Hogan vs DDP

This probably should have been saved for PPV. If these shitty celebrity matches were really just building up to a big DDP/Hogan singles match, having it without any hype on Nitro seems really wasteful. DDP is still hurt from last week. Someone threw a roll of toilet paper in the ring. I’m not sure if this is more or less short sighted than having Goldberg vs Hogan on TV with not even a full week to hype it up. It goes to the floor. I think Hogan is sandbagging. He is making everything DDP does look like shit. Axe bombbaaaaahhhh in the corner. Big boot. Page gets up before Hulk can go for the leg drop, so Hogan tries a body slam. It’s countered into the Kanyon Cutter. BANG! The nWo hit the ring. Of course. The Wolfpac also come out. Goldberg runs out. A big brawl to end Nitro?! It Goldberg clears the ring but then gets caught in the chokeslam as they fade to black.

Well, this show was awful. Almost 40 minutes of the show was devoted to Bischoff pretending to be Jay Leno, rebuttal clips from Leno, and ANOTHER Hogan/Bischoff promo on top of that. I say this as someone who sat through the worst of dying WCW. You all saw some of the garbage I watched. I’m ready to delcare Leno vs Hogan/Bischoff to be the worst WCW angle ever. There are still two more weeks of this bullshit. But all of that shit and the two main matches were 5 minute nothing matches with nWo run ins.