WCW Monday Nitro 7/20/98
Goldberg, Ultimo Dragon, and some NJPW stars will be in action tonight.
Scott Hall comes to the ring. He basically calls Nash a big pussy, says that he’s ashamed of him, and he regrets ever calling Nash his big brother. Also, Nash isn’t half the man that Hogan is.
The executive committee has decided that DDP and Bret Hart are the top contenders to the now vacated US Championship. They will face each other tonight, with the winner becoming the new champion.
Recap of Hogan’s reign of terror from last week. I didn’t notice, but Bischoff was definitely mouthing Hogan’s promo. How fucking hard is it to keep up with it in your head? I see this shit constantly, even when someone doesn’t even need to know the other person’s lines.
Stevie Ray vs Johnny Boone WCW TV Championship
Stevie gives an extensive promo to the camera on his way to the ring. Boone complete unknown jobber who is about the size of Rey, but white and flabby. Wait a second. That's BORE US MALENKO! It was short, but terrible. Chavo comes out and tries to take the title, then rides into the sunset.
Recap of Buff’s appearance last week.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene brings out Rick Steiner. Rick doesn’t care for the things that Scott has been saying lately. He challenges Scott to a match at Roadwild. Rick is the one that got Scott started in high school wrestling, college wrestling, and pro wrestling. Neither brother carried the team and now he’s going to fuck Scotty up. Buff is wheeled out. Rick feels, in some way, that it is his fault that Buff got hurt. Well, who the fuck else is responsible for it? Buff forgives him. They hug. Scott comes OUTTA NOWHERE with a chair and lays Rick out. Buff tries to stop him, but then JOINS in! It was a SWERVE! Buff rips off his neck brace to reveal a nWo shit. Tenay proclaims this to be the “Ultimate SWERVE!”.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Chris Jericho is the guest after the commercial break. He claims that Dean is trying to ruin his life because he wants a shot at the belt. Jericho will give Dean a shot next week, but if Dean loses, he will never get a shot at Jericho or the title again.
Hall comes to the announce table. He throws his toothpick at Larry…who catches it and puts it in his mouth. Weird. Hall wants to make sure we don’t have to see sad Nash again, as it is bad for ratings. Then he tells Nash to get some Monostat for his infection. Yikes.
TO THE BACK. We see a sign that says “Star of the show” with a wrecked car next to it.
Sick Boy vs Steve McMichael
I really liked Mongo’s music. Shame it was wasted on Mongo. Total squash. Is Mongo a guy you would trust to protect you on a tombstone? Why would they have a guy who had only been wrestling for about a year and a half a finisher like that? Always seemed strange to me.
Recap of Arn’s awesome promo on Thunder. Arn should manage someone today.
TO THE NWO NIGHTCAP. It’s changed names again, but this is Bischoff’s Tonight Show. Fuck. It was SO bad last time. Oh my god. There is fake audience noise, Bischoff telling jokes that even Leno would think were hacky and lame, and the band leader laughing hysterically the whole time. He’s telling diarrhea while swimming jokes. Tony freaks out saying this is actually Leno’s monologue from Friday night. Holy shit, if that’s true, Leno is even worse than I thought. These are the least funny things I’ve ever heard. But now that I know he’s actually saying Leno’s jokes verbatim, this is actually pretty funny satire. But still fucking awful. This is truly some of the worst shit I’ve ever seen on a wrestling show. Legitimately awful. Even if it was intentional. I’d be hard pressed to find something as shitty as this and the last episode even at the worst of WCW 2000.
Recap of the Sad Nash promo. It gets cut off part way through it, because Scott Hall was in the production truck and took the tape. Nash met him and they got into a fight. Hall very clearly said "fucking" during this. The rest of nWo Hollywood ambush him. Then the Wolfpac make the save and they have a really terrible brawl outside. Bret Hart then shows up at the announce table and wants the match with DDP right now.
TO THE BACK. We find Konnan screaming for help as DDP is laid out in the back. Wait, Konnan is outside fighting AND checking on DDP at the same time? This show is a mess. Not a in the same kind of chaotic mess that Raw was at the time, but a mess of shit just not making sense. Bret heads to the ring. JoJo also comes out and they argue, then JoJo storms to the back and they go to commercial.
Saturn vs Yuji Nagata
What I really remember from their last match was Nagata hitting a brutal looking dragon screw. Saturn hits a Northern lights right away and then locks on a cross arm breaker. Nagata starts working over the leg. Security has finally settled down the nWo brawl and JoJo has booked Nash/Sting vs Hall/Giant for the titles. Nagata hits a Saito suplex. Saturn comes back with a small package and t-bone. Not quite an explodaaah. Superkick. What happened to Glacier being super pissed about him using that move? Raven comes out and hits the Evenflow. Nagata Lock for the win. The rest of the Flock hit the ring, but Kanyon makes the save. BANG! He hits a motherfucking SUPER PILEDRIVER on Kidman. Saturn then hits Kanyon with the DVD, because he’s a dick head like that.
Kevin Nash/Sting vs Scott Hall/The Giant WCW Tag Team Championships
WCW remembered that they had tag team champions. This was after literally weeks of the tag belts not even being mentioned on television. Not only that, the actual belts weren’t even on screen for weeks. The members of the Wolfpac were on TV, including at least one week where all four were out in the ring, but the actual belts were nowhere to be found. Sting is wearing big black carpenter jeans now. Sting and Hall start it out for a bit. After a break, it’s Giant and Sting. Giant gets a boot up on the Stinger Splash. He makes a come back and tries a cross body, but just bounces off of Giant. Giant then does a headbutt to the balls. DING! That ridiculous Nakamura trading card video made me lol for real when he said DING for a low blow card. Hall comes in and hits the fall away slam and then they run the IRS abdominal stretch spot. Nash big boots Hall. He goes for the jackknife, but Giant stops him. Sting then hits Giant in the giant balls. Mark Curtis didn’t give a fuck about anything anymore. Sting hits two Stinger splashes on Hall. Bret Hart comes out and is in the ring. This distracts Sting. Hall then hits the Outsider’s Edge. New champions! Bret wasn’t lying when he said no one was safe. From Juvi to Sting.
Recap of Bret interrupting the announcers and Konnan screaming for help for DDP.
Dancing Fools vs Chono/Great Muta
MUTA! They’re hyping Muta vs Fujinami. Well, Tenay is at least. I think he said Fujinami. Wright actually beats down Chono in the opening minutes. Disco gets tagged in and gets his face kicked off. Muta hits a dragon screw into knee bar and Disco taps out right away. Well, that was short. Norton then comes out and lays out the Dancing Fools for fun. Super short. No mist, no moonsault, no handspring elbow. The Shining Wizard had been created yet. Apparently, Norton was undefeated on his last NJPW tour.
Tokyo Magnum vs Ultimo Dragon
We still don’t have an update on DDP. I wonder if Dragon will take some liberties with Magnum in this. It is acknowledged that Dragon trained Magnum. He does get a bit rough with a face wash in the corner. Magnum hits a super rana. He goes up top and gets caught with a drop kick. Dragon hits a brainbustaaah. Dragon sleeper for the easy win. Teacher taught a lesson.
Scott Norton vs Jim Powers
Well, this is obviously a jobber match. Jim Powers has to be the best looking jobber ever. Dude was always jacked, but outside of the Wild Stallions, he was a career jobber. I don’t think he was even that bad. Norton wins with ease.
A highlight package of Hogan. Because if anyone needs a highlight package, it’s Hulk Hogan.
nWo Hollywood come out in full. Even the international members. Muta and Hogan in a WCW ring! Hulk has a lot of love for Scott Hall. Actually, it isn’t the full group. Norton, Steiner, and Buff aren’t around. Hulk rambles about DDP and Malone and just general Hogan shit.
Recap of the main event of Thunder.
Eddie Guerrero vs Konnan
Antoine Carr was with Konnan. He played for the Jazz in 1998. Konnan is so shitty that he can ruin Eddie Guerrero. Chavo comes out dressed like Konnan. He has a new Pepe. Konnan takes Pepe and hits Eddie with it, causing a DQ.
Curt Hennig vs Lex Luger
WM9 rematch! Lex is neck and neck with Konnan for a guy I never want to see. And now they’re back to back. WCW is trying to make me sad. The WWF really ruined Lex. He was pretty solid-good before he went to New York. But his WWF run and on was pretty rough. I did enjoy the angle of he and Sting being best friends despite one being a heel and one being a face, but match wise, Lex was awful after 1993. I don’t care about this match. I care about my commentary on how Lex sucked after working for Vince. Perfect was most definitely a shell at this point in his career as well, but he was still solid. Nowhere near his peak, though. There is a ref bump. Rude interferes and a Perfect Plex ends the match.
Bret Hart vs DDP WCW US Championship
Who knows how this will go after DDP being shown to be laid out earlier in the show. There is only about 7 minutes left in this even before entrances, so I don’t expect much. Bret is really above the US Championship. I know I’ve already used Sting as a reference, but imagine him coming into the WWF and wrestling for the IC Championship. DDP comes out to no music with taped up ribs and a taped up knee. Naturally, Bret dominates. DDP gets to the ropes while in the sharpshooter. Bret just puts it on again. Your new US Champion, Bret Hart! The rest of nWo Hollywood come out to celebrate. DDP is taken out on a stretcher. They take a few cheap shots at DDP on the way out.
There was no Goldberg, despite Tony saying he would be there at the top of the show. Two weeks of being the champ and he's already bailing on shows.