WCW Monday Nitro 3/2/98
The biggest night in the history of our great sport! A WCW wrestler and nWo wrestler will team up for the first time EVER. Sting/Savage vs Hogan/Hall!
TO THE BACK. A limo arrives. It’s the nWo. I find it weird that guys come to the shows in their gear. BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!
Chris Benoit vs Riggs
“Benoit was NEVER considered one of the top legit badasses in the WWE locker room in his day. Ask anybody and they’ll name guys like Haku and Angle, and Brock, and JBL. Benoit’s name never comes up. Conclusion: ALL that shit was a gimmick. If anything, Daniel Bryan, who has trained at Couture’s for years and even lives with Couture’s head grappling instructor, would tap Benoit in a legit fight in seconds, steroids be damned. I hate to break it to you, but the last legit “shoot fight” Benoit was in was against a woman and he had to use an electrical cord.” Hmm. Interesting analysis. Benoit wins with the rolling Germans right into the crossface.
A video of Randy Savage being given a trophy at some parade.
Hogan and Bischoff come to the ring. Let’s see, they call him a midget, jealous of Hogan, and make fun of not being able to keep his marriage together. Oh god, the retroactive irony here.
TO THE NITRO PARTY. Gene is at St. Joseph’s University. Gene gets some girl to admit she has two boyfriends.
Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs Juventud Guerrera
Who is this homely Mexican woman and why is she wrestling Chavo? This is Juvi’s first maskless match. Some generic lucha action to start. Stand offs and rolls and flips and ARMDRAGS! Chavo goes for the tornado DDT. Juvi gets out of it in mid air and turns it into a Fujiwara arm bar. Chavo comes back with a rolling knee bar. Juvi Driver. 450. Juvi can still win even without his mask. This would not be the last time Chavo lost a match to a homely woman.
TO THE NITRO PARTY. Just bro stuff.
Hypnosis vs TAFKATAFKAPI
That’s The Artist Futurely Known As The Artist Formerly Known as Prince Iaukea. In case you were wondering. Prince is terrible. Not interested in this at all. If Chavo and Juvi couldn’t give me something to gif, I don’t expect anything good out of this. Hypno hits the leg drop, but pulls Prince up. He goes for a top rope victory roll, which Prince botches the reversal up, and makes the pin.
Raven vs Disco Inferno
Disco came to fight. He brings it to Raven for the opening minutes, taking it to the floor and throwing Raven into the guard rail. Disco gets sent into it himself. The announcers are trying to build up Raven’s wonky boot. Disco remembers the last match and blocks a hip toss onto a chair. He takes the tape off of his wrists, wraps it around Raven’s neck, and then hits a neck breaker. Drop toe hold on a chair. DDT gets the win.
TO THE NITRO PARTY. Bleh.
Hugh Morrus/Barbarian vs Public Enemy
Well, at least I should be able to get a good gif of someone going through a plywood table. Both teams came out with tables. This is a Philadelphia Street Fight. Wasn’t announced as one. Jimmy Hart gets involved by whipping Grunge while his shirt is open. FoF2K run into each other trying to do a sandwich clothesline. Jimmy is put on a table. Rocko Rock gets superplex on it, just barely missing Jimmy. Hugh gets put on a table, almost breaks it in half as soon as he was put on it, and Rocko hits a flying ass bomb through it for the win. Big ECW chants.
Macho Man and Liz come to the ring. He’s been carrying Hulk for years. Sting/Savage is a one night only team, and not only that, but Sting is going to do business Savage’s way. This brings out Sting. Sting is talking! He’s gonna fuck Scott Hall up is what I take from it. “Survey says: Scott Hall, you’re dead.” He only does business his way.
Sick Boy vs Goldberg
Sick Boy tries some springboard move and gets caught in a choke slam. He tries another one and slips off the ropes. Botchamania all up in this bitch. Goldberg does the spear POUUUUUNNNNNCCCEEEE style. Jackhammer. Man, Sick Boy is like the same size as Goldberg.
TO THE STUCK MOJO. Their new music video is aired. It involved DDP and The Flock and was done inside as WCW ring. It also happens to be one of the worst sounding anythings I’ve ever heard. This is truly awful. Worse than Limp Bizkit awful.
TO THE TENAY. Mike brings DDP to the ring. He talks about how he had to bang dudes once they turned on his boys. Wat. “Raven, quote this: You’re. Getting. BANGED!”
Hammer comes out to grab a mic and calls out DDP.
DDP vs Hammer
Kanyon Cutter! BANG! Raven hits the ring. Benoit comes out and saves DDP. But then DDP accidentally hits Benoit and they brawl. Then decided to both beat up Raven again.
TO THE NITRO PARTY. Whatevs. Get this shit out of my face.
TO THE TENAY. He brings out Bret Hart. He’s wearing his leather jacket with no shirt and jorts. VINTAGE Bret Hart. He’s excited to face Hennig again. Bret vs Crush tonight? I believe so.
Scott Norton vs British Bulldog
WCW has a habit of getting me really excited by the first person to come out, and then ruining it seconds later. I don’t know what happened to Bulldog from SS97 to his WCW debut, but his skill deteriorated rapidly. Super short. Ends in a DQ when Norton shoves the ref while trying to powerbomb/shoulder break Bulldog on the floor. They keep brawling all the way to the back.
Konnan vs Super Calo
Konnan again shits all over Juvi before the match. I feel the odds are high for Konnan making Calo look like shit and dropping him on his head. Konnan doesn’t need help to make himself look like shit, that’s for sure. Benoit vs Raven vs DDP is announced for Uncensored. Crowd booed and laughed at Konnan a number of times. 187 and Tequila Sunrise for the win. Konnan tries to take Calo’s mask. Juvi comes out. Juvi vs Konnan next week.
TO THE TENAY. He brings out Ric Flair. Too much Tenay. Flair doesn’t talk to long before Hennig and Rude come out. Flair challenges Perfect and it is on! Here are some gifs of Tenay and his weird bird face:
Ric Flair vs Curt Hennig
I think this is a match. No one is coming to break it up, but there also isn’t a ref out here. Flair gets the best of Perfect before Rude gets involved. Perfect plex. Rude makes the count. Bret comes down and makes the save.
TO THE NITRO PARTY. These are such time wasters. Gene talks to a man dressed as a hawk.
Scott Steiner vs Jim Duggan
Not interested. Steiner Recliner for the win.
Eddie Guerrero/Chris Jericho vs Booker T/Dean Malenko
A rematch from Thunder. Booker and Jericho start it off. Jericho is wearing Juvi’s mask on a necklace. Eddie gets in and they do some double teaming. They get bumped into each other and crawl to each other, hug on their knees, and bail out. Lol. Things get back in the ring. Eddie again tries to beg off from Booker. They get the better of Book and Eddie hits his tope. Dean comes in and does his awesome leg lariat. Book kicks Eddie right in the side of the head. Jericho went for the Lionsault, but Dean grabbed the ropes, sending him to the floor. Eddie rolls through the frog splash, then rolls through a side kick. He and Book crash to the floor. Dean comes in and tosses Jericho off of a victory roll and locks on the Cloverleaf for the win.
The whole nWo minus Hogan and Hall come to the ring. Scott Steiner is the one to talk. They want Rick to come out to offer him his spot in the nWo. Rick and Ted come out. Oh my, Rick has joined the nWo! SWERVE! WCW 4LIFE! Probably not the best idea to start attacking when you are in a ring with 8 other dudes. The Giant comes out! Fans are hyped as shit for a Nash/Giant show down. Jackknife…TO KEVIN NASH! During the break, security went to arrest The Giant. The handcuffs wouldn’t fit, so he just walked off.
Brian Adams vs Bret Hart
Bret’s in ring Nitro debut. Crush was never a good wrestler. He was never a good talker. He never really even had a particularly good look. Yet he was employed in the two biggest wrestling promotions for 10 years. Despite little talent on any front. He ruined Demolition. He was weird as a face. He was weird as karate ex-pat Crush teaming with Yoko. He sucked as prison Crush. He sucked as NOD Crush. He sucked as DOA Crush. He sucked as nWo Brian Adams. He sucked as Kronik Brian Adams. What I’m trying to say is, he sucks. Really short match. Turnbuckle pad gets ripped off, Crush goes into it, gets put in the Sharpshooter. Mr. Perfect runs in for a DQ. They brawl and we go to break.
Sting/Randy Savage vs Hollywood Hogan/Scott Hall
This either either be a long angle, or a main event that actually has some time given to it, because there are about 12 minutes left before intros. Usually it is more like 7 minutes before intros, then a promo before the match, and 3 minutes of actual match that ends in a 2 minute DQ. Sting and Savage come to the ring together, with no music. They pair off. Bischoff gets decked. Sting and Hogan are in the ring. No idea where Hall and Savage are. Oh, there they are. Sting again comes to the ring without his championship. He hasn’t worn it once on TV since winning it. Weight belts are used a plenty. Sting and Savage are working as a team. Holy shit, Sting is actually doing moves and stuff. The nWo get back on offensive after using a spray paint can on Savage. Fall away slam. Big boot. Hulk misses the leg drop. Savage makes the hot tag. Sting puts Hogan in the Deathlock as Savage goes for the elbow on Hall. The nWo hit the ring. DDP is also out there. The Disciple hits an Ace Crusher on Savage. It was not quite a Stunner or Kanyon Cutter. I’m amazed it took so long for Hogan to get Beefcake in his stable. Giant hits the ring and runs everyone off. WE’RE OUTTA TIME