WCW Monday Nitro 7/14/97

Oh shit, Buffer is starting the show? Must be a big show. And then Kim introduces the Nitro Girls one by one. THE NITRO GIRLS HAVE ARRIVED! And they have a terrible routine where no one is in sync. Kim is especially off. Well, that was weird. 

Last night, Dennis Rodman made his in ring WCW debut, teaming with Hulk Hogan  to face Lex Luger and The Giant. Curt Hennig made HIS in ring WCW debut, and promptly turned on his partner DDP, but it is unclear on if he has joined the nWo.

Price Iaukea vs Alex Wright

Fuck. Buffer led me to believe this would be a big show. Then I got  the Nitro Girls and TAFKATAFKAPI. The Giant comes out and chokeslams the ref. Then Prince. Then 6 security guards. He's got something to say. He's sick of the nWo, and Nash in particular is on the top of his hit list. Dillinger and the rest of the security team are able to calm Giant down. 

Eddie Guerrero vs Chavo Guerrero Jr.

La Familia EXPLODES. Eddie is shocked that Chavo immediately takes it to him. What a giant ass back body drop. So much slapping. I guess that's what you do with family. Just slap each other until someone actually snaps and starts throwing fists. Been there. Eddie wins with a huge powerbomb and frog splash in a short, but intense match. Post match saw another frog splash. Hector came out to protect Chavo. Eddie shoved him down and walked off. 

TO THE MEAN SCUM. DDP and Kim come out. DDP talks about running into Hennig at a bar in Minneapolis at the start of the year. It turns out that Perfect was actually his 4th choice, behind Sting, Lex, and Giant. He doesn't get mad...he gets even. 

The Nitro Girls do another routine where no one is in sync.

TO THE MEAN SUCKA. Will Harlem Heat ever get their title shot? "See, this ain't 1962, and we ain't Lee Harvey Oswald. Ain't no patsies in this group." Well, Kennedy was killed in 1963, for starters. HH does have a match against The Outsiders tonight, at least. It isn't for the titles, but it will be a ghetto street fight.

Vicious and Delicious vs Steiner Brothers

What if VD beats the Steiners? Do they become the number one contenders? What if HH beats The Outsiders tonight? Will anyone ever get a title shot besides the Steiners? Fuck you, JJ. Lol at Nick Patrick's reaction to Buff slapping Scott. Just slowly backing away from shit. 

TO THE BACK. A limo arrives. Konnan gets out of it. So does Syxx, Hall (in jean shorts Steve Austin would be embarrassed to wear), and Nash. BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?! 

Virgil gets involved. Holy shit, Scott Norton just did a tornado DDT. Chono and Muta hit the ring before the Steiners could hit the super bulldog. The Steiners fought all of them off.

QUOTE THE MEAN GENE. Gene again speaks to Raven and Stevie out in the crowd. Raven makes an announcement that there is no announcement. Stevie says something about signing a contract with WCW, which makes Raven spit in his face. So mysterious. So rude.

Chris Benoit vs Mike Enos

Benoit finally ended the longest running angle in WCW last night by retiring Kevin Sullivan. Still not sure why Enos has a job in WCW. Or why he's beating the shit out of Benoit. Let's count the things that probably gave Benoit brain damage in this: Avalanche fall away slam all the way across the ring, hangman's neckbreaker, inverted face first tombstone. Benoit wins with the Crossface, which was basically his only offense in the match.

The Nitro Girls are so terrible.

Super Calo vs La Parka

Now, is this La Parka, or DDP? Kim was on the stage and gave him the Kanyon Cutter sign. Hm. Randy Savage almost immediately hit the ring to beat the shit out of both guys. DDP comes out of the crowd to attack Macho. Curt Hennig then runs out and decks DDP with the traditional international taped brass knux. He leaves DDP to Macho.

TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene wants to know where Hennig is coming from. Is he with the nWo? Ya see, 5 years ago, DDP was asking Hennig for autographs at ringside. And everyone knows DDP is the biggest mark in the business anyway. No arguments there. After he shits on DDP's manhood, Ric Flair comes out to say they're going to party tonight. Perfect, somewhat reluctantly, leaves with Flair.

The nWo come out. Nash is in his gear, but also in a wheel chair. Nash couldn't have been the Sting impostor last night, because he's clearly very injured. Plus, he would never stoop so low. Konnan is officially introduced as the newest member of the nWo. 

Harlem Heat vs Scott Hall/Syxx

Obviously, Syxx is filling in for Nash. I'm not sure this is officially a ghetto street fight. I swear, this angle of clear and blatant racism against Harlem Heat has me hotter than any storyline in years. It's disgusting. How many times can JJ fuck them out of a title shot? HOW MANY TIMES?!? This is pretty back and forth, but fans definitely prefer the Wolfpac. There is good commentary about the nWo's impact over the past year, and how WCW now knows the enemy and are no longer intimidated. Hall works the majority of the match. Nash's back temporarily heals so he can pop up on the apron to drill Book. Outsider's Edge for the win. 

Masahiro Chono/Great Muta vs Public Enemy

I will never understand why WCW would bring in NJ guys, particularly TOP NJPW guys, just to waste them in shit like matches against the Public Enemy. So bizarre. Fans are very into this, though. And nothing is really even happening. Imagine this match at a NJ show and how silly it would be. Mist! Yakuza kick puts Grunge down and out.  

Jeff Jarrett vs Ric Flair WCW US Championship

Lol, no one likes Jeff. Almost every heel above the TV title level gets some cheers in WCW. No one ever cheers for Jeff Jarrett. WHY WAS RIC TAKING BACK BODY DROPS ON THE FLOOR EVERY WEEK? Christ. What a weird fucking regular bump. Even weirder than getting press slammed from the top rope every match. This time, he got dropkicked out of the air, which is a new spot for Ric. He made up for it by taking a superplex, because he's apparently obsessed with top rope bumps. This is such a strange match, since it is basically Ric Flair vs More Southern Ric Flair. Lol at the cameras focusing on Debra's rant while Jeff gets hit in the balls in the background. Ric has the figure four on Jeff. Mongo comes in and attacks Jeff. Benoit also joins in. Uh. If Mongo would have waited a few more seconds, Ric would have taken the US Championship form Jeff. Stupid.    

TO THE MEAN GENE. Lex is the guest in the ring, in the main event of the show. Last night was, perhaps, the greatest night of Lex's career. Gene suggests that Lex should challenge Hulk to a title match at Road Wild. Lex agrees. The nWo comes out. A fake Sting also comes out. He removes the make and wig to reveal...THE REAL STING! WE'RE OUTTA TIME! 


Sting disguising himself as Sting will always be the best thing on any show it happens on. It's amazing every single time.