WCW Monday Nitro 6/23/97

TO THE MEAN SCUM. DDP and Kim start the show. I wonder how hard they'll tease Sting being his partner at BATB this week. Now he's backing off the Sting stuff, saying he wasn't very clear about his partner last week, but he's got a big surprise for BATB. Kim somehow got JJ to book DDP/Hall tonight.

La Parka/Damian vs Public Enemy

I thought I was going to get lucha fuckery. Then Public Enemy came out. Fuck. Damian got squashed through a table, but La Parka drilled Grunge with a chair to win. Damian vanished in the table. It was magic.

TO THE MEAN GENE. Eddie Guerrero is the guest to talk about his injury, Dean, and Chavo. Chavo comes out. Eddie gives Chavo his title match against Syxx tonight to show that they're family. 

Alex Wright vs Chris Jericho

I hope Jericho loses again. He doesn't. He wins with the Liontamer. 

Steiner Brothers vs Harlem Heat Number One Contendership

Again. JJ has really been fucking Harlem Heat over. It's ridiculous. Literally three other teams have a claim to a title shot before the Steiners, but JoJo just keeps protecting them. It's disgusting. These two teams have had so many matches with each other. This is their 14th match in a 12 month period. That's Kidman/Juvi levels. Rick ends up winning with the ugliest top rope bulldog you've ever seen that didn't break a dude's neck.

TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene planned to talk with the Steiners, but Buff and Norton interrupted. They officially named themselves Vicious and Delicious, then made fun of Scott's small arms (lol). The Steiners want Hall and Nash next week in Vegas.

Villano IV vs Hector Garza

They've been hyping a house show Saturday that is being called "Saturday Nitro". Bischoff won't allow cameras in, but wcw.com webmasters will be having some kind of streaming coverage of the event. Villano hits a Kanyon Cutter OUTTA NOWHERE at the start of the match. BANG! I'm sure DDP was hot. This goes on for a very long time for B-C tier cruisers. Hector finally hits the corkscrew plancha, landing face first on Villano's knee. He eventually wins with a standing moonsault to zero reaction.

TO THE MEAN GENE. Giant and Lex do a promo in the ring, basically saying that everyone in WCW will be watching their back to make sure what happened last week never happens to them again. You'd think that would be a given, and WCW wouldn't be in the shape it is if the roster had been doing that from the start.

Syxx vs Chavo Guerrero Jr. WCW Cruiserweight Championship

Hall was out with Syxx, so obviously you know what will happen. Chavo busted his face on the floor doing a give. Might have broken his nose. Eddie comes out to watch, but does nothing when Hall hits Chavo with the Outsider's Edge. Buzzkiller (with a shout out to the Iron Sheik) for the win. Title retained.

Konnan vs Steve McMichael

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. Hugh Morrus came out to distract Konnan with a broom stick. Mongo wins with the tombstone.

Benoit vs Sullivan in a career match is announced for BATB, meaning this angle that has been going on for OVER A YEAR AND A HALF will finally come to an end.

TO THE MEAN GENE. Piper comes out, saying he's been too much of a face lately, and makes references to Con-Air, Dante's Peak, and Batman and Robin. Despite putting all rumors and issues to rest with Ric Flair about Ric leaving their match at Slamboree (it was actually GAB and it happened 2 weeks ago, but everyone involved said Slamboree) last week on Nitro, here he is, bringing it all up again. After making comments about Flair's manhood, Flair comes out. They kind of argue, but seem to put things to rest (again) when Mongo and Benoit come out. Piper throws fists, and Flair is pissed he has to join in on the fight, but he seems to enjoy stomping Piper by the end of it.

Glacier/Ernest Miller vs High Voltage

Ernie's Nitro debut. Glacier played FIP for the entire, short match. Cat gets the hot tag and wins with a few kicks. Mortis and Wratch ran down to ringside, but didn't get into the ring.

Rodman/Hogan video.

DDP vs Scott Hall

Diamond Mine EXPLODES. Randy Savage is out with Hall. DDP sends Kim to the back. The "major impact player" debuting next week is mentioned, with the possibility of this mystery person being DDP's partner. NO ONE HAS THE SCOOPS! Not even Tenay can figure out who will be debuting next week. DDP is still banged up from the match with Macho, and now sports his eternally taped ribs. They are the focus of the match. Of course, Macho attacks before DDP can hit the Kanyon Cutter. Sting shows up in the crowd, but doesn't come to the ring, which means DDP still got the shit beaten out of him. Then Sting decides to come down, blown up and looking puffy by the time he gets to the ring. Hall and Savage decide to go after Sting and Sting opens up with the bat but WE'RE OUTTA TIME.

Boring show. All the angles are on auto pilot. Hogan is again MIA for his own storyline. Syxx's angle with Flair seems to be done so Piper and Flair can feud. Jeff Jarrett has been MIA since winning the US Championship. I don't even remember who has the TV Championship. Harlem Heat and the Steiners have their 14th match since June of 1996. Sting is still not doing much.