WCW Monday Nitro 5/26/97

We're back to 2 hours and Hogan and Bischoff start the show. It was exactly one year ago that Scott Hall started the war, you know. Hulk is hot about Stang dropping Bischoff last week. He's in deep, deep doodoo, brah. "Stingonites." I don't think anyone had ever called themselves that, Hulk. He's calling Stang out RIGHT NOW. Stang ain't here, that big wussy.

Juventud Guerrera/Super Calo/Hector Garza vs La Parka/Damian/Ciclope

Lucha fuckery. La Parka is almost always the highlight of these matches. Super Calo continues his streak of fucking up, doing a dive that goes into the third row and landing on the head of some kid. Technicos get the win.

Psychosis vs Alex Wright

Alex kind of turned heel a few shows ago. Let us see how that changes his matches. He's a bit more aggressive, but that's it. He does have a pretty dope European uppercut, though. Top notch dancing skills, of course. Psychosis kills himself doing a corkscrew moonsault to the floor, where he was way off, and even though Alex went to catch him, he still splattered hard on the floor. And then he wins with the guillotine leg drop completely clean. 

TO THE MEAN GENE. Sonny OH NO is the guest. Sonny promised a nightmare for Chono this week. He's in the back. You have to wait to find out who it is, though. He then offers a deal to Psychosis, who actually says something on the mic. I don't recall him ever talking in WCW. Madusa interrupts the interview to say she'd do ANYTHING to get a title shot. It sure sounds like the implication is that she'd fuck Sonny to get it. Instead, he says she'll get a shot at GAB, but she has to put her career on the line. 

We get some footage of Ernest Miller's karate fights. Mike Tenay will continue to investigate Cat's background.

Wrath vs Mark Starr

Wrath's music and entrance is fucking dope. So is Mortis'. And Glacier's. Fuck y'all, I'm into this angle. All these Mortal Kombat kharacters fighting over a special spiky helmet. It's pretty dope. This was a quick squash for Wrath.

Villano IV vs Konnan

Kill me. Hugh had a PIP promo saying he's going to come after Konnan. KILL ME. Hugh, in fact, tries to hit the ring, only to be held back by security. Doug Dillinger is in the midst of growing his Santa beard. It is righteous. FUCK and Konnan got a promo with Mean Gene after the match. Jesus Christ.

Masahira Chono vs GREAT MUTA

It's DA GREAT MUTA. He's the NIGHTMARE! Probably to the shock of no one. Chono does a lot of stalling to start this. It takes about a minute before Muta mists Sonny and joins the nWo. SWERVE. "You can't trust a Japanese, they have seven hearts." So there wasn't actually a match, and Larry actually invokes the "it was a swerve" shit, while continuing to say bizarrely racist shit about Japanese people. Great segment.

Barbarian vs Jim Powers

Gimme dat BOOT. It's somewhat odd to me that Jim Powers generally got a full entrance despite being a jobber. Sadly, the boot wasn't that good. I mean, it connected, but it didn't look like a violent Barb boot. 

TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene was going to speak with Barb and Jimmy, but Benoit and Woman showed up instead. Benoit wants to know where Kevin Sullivan is (he's on a leave of absence). Jimmy says that Barbarian is going to be Benoit's real challenge, which will happen next week.

The Giant vs Johnny Swinger/Roadblock/Rick Fuller

A "first ever" match in this great sport. I guess. If you pretend that Andre didn't do 3 on 1 handicap matches for years. I don't know what they're doing with Giant now. Of course, Giant easily wins. 

TO THE MEAN GENE. Giant won WW3, so he should have a title shot. And Lex won the four way match, so he also has a title match coming to him. Lex has been watching the NBA playoffs, scouting Dennis Rodman. 

Syxx comes out to shit on Ric Flair. PAL. Lol, he calls Ric a "fluff boy". He then brings out Hall and Nash, who call Ric a "drag queen". They also challenge Piper and Flair to a match. 

Harlem Heat vs Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael

I can't deal with the Mongo/Jeff angle anymore. It should have come to a head MONTHS ago. It SEEMED like it had. And then it just keeps going on and on and on and on and on and on. Kevin Greene joins the commentary team, shitting on Mongo. I fucking hate this angle. Mongo leaves the match to fight with Kevin. Harlem Heat wins the match after that. FUCK THIS ANGLE. Christ.

Hogan and Bischoff come back out. Hulk offers to put his title on the line against Stang right now. A fake Stang pops out from under the ring and bows to Hogan. The REAL Sting shows up and lays out the fake one. The nWo surrounds the ring, so Sting bails back up into the rafters. WE'RE OUTTA TIME.

Fairly nothing show. The most interesting angle right now is definitely the Syxx/Flair feud.