WCW Monday Nitro 4/7/97

In the wake of Spring Stampede, how will Randy Savage respond to his loss to DDP? How will the nWo handle Kevin Nash crossing the line? Is the nWo breaking apart? 

Konnan/Hugh Morrus vs Alex Wright/Psychosis

What a weird team for the faces. I don't really understand why WCW kept the DoD going strong after the nWo started. And Sullivan was basically retired, only existing to wrestle Benoit once in awhile. Wow, way to go, Hugh. Way to not catch Hypno at all on the floor. You're the biggest dude around. Step into that shit, man. Christ. Earlier today, DDP arrived, all busted up from the fight with Macho. Hypno plays FIP. Alex gets the hot tag and promptly loses to the moonsault.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs Lord Steven Regal

!!! Awesome. A rematch to that most awesome match they had a while back. And Regal now has a much grumpier disposition. Should be a blast. Have you ever seen a dude throw someone by their mask? 

TO THE BACK. Mother fuckers. Mother FUCKERS. You couldn't have done this during the last match? You cut away from Regal/Rey to see the nWo arrive? Cunts. It was just Hogan, Bischoff, Virgil, and Ted. Hogan talking about family shit. BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?! Fuck your limo.

Regal is still knocking the shit out of Rey. Rey fires up and Regal tries to go to the top. He's caught in a super victory roll. West Coast Pop! And Regal kicks out, because he ain't playing that shit. He follows it by planting Rey with a reverse suplex. Regal gets disqualified for not letting go of the Regal Stretch after Rey made it to the ropes. Fucking Prince shows up to break it. And then Regal puts him in the hold. Lol. And while he has the hold on, Regal is blasting Prince in the face. Prince has a title defense tonight, so hopefully now he'll finally drop it and end our televised nightmare.

TO THE BACK. The rest of the nWo shows up. Macho is on crutches and wearing an ankle cast. This group doesn't seem very happy, either. BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!

Ice Train vs Chris Benoit

SMOOV vs a racist. SMOOV does not like those fucking chops and blasts Benoit with a Vader Attack. We see a split screen with Hogan laying down the law to Nash. Macho gets involved and mouthy with Bischoff. Nash just walks off. Now you can't tell if the problem is Macho or Nash. Benoit ends up getting the win with a snap DDT after bumping SMOOV into Teddy.

Some highlights of the Double Impact premiere has Hogan calling a black woman "sister", Larry making gay jokes about Rodman because Rodman was wearing make up. He also makes trans jokes about him.

Hector Guerrero vs Kevin Sullivan

HECTOR! Always love it when Hector pops up. Too bad it is against Sullivan. I assume this will have something to do with Eddie getting dragged out by the DoD last night. Hector was the first to block a punch from Jackie, but as he reared back to hit her, shit kicked him and suplexed him on the floor. She continues to get heavily involved and Sullivan wins via double stomp.

The nWo comes to the ring, notably in separate groups, everyone pissy. Trash and drinks come flying immediately. DiBiase draws his line in the sand: They're either going to settle it the ring or walk out together. Hogan says that without the whole family (especially Nash), the title doesn't mean shit. Nash isn't mad about Hogan and Rodman stuff, but he is mad that he and Syxx spent Easter in a hotel. What? That has to be a reference to something that I'm not aware of. And Hogan is going to make sure Nash can go on a nWo hunt next Easter. I think this has to do with Scott Hall. Maybe Nash is mad that he wasn't invited to the movie premiere?   Hogan throws it down and says they can fight right now if that's what needs to be done. Nash says he doesn't have to love Hulk to respect him, and he gave Hogan his word in Daytona when he and Hall brought in Hulk  to make him the man. They put their issues aside for the greater good of the nWo. This then turns to Macho and Bischoff, who agree to put each other on probation with the other. Too sweet me, bro. 4LYFE.

TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. Flair brings out Piper. Fuck. Last week, Flair and Piper put aside their differences. This week, the nWo did the same thing, but it felt forced. Sting is back on WCW's side. The momentum is shifting. Piper talks about putting his doctor in the asylum and then air plays Dueling Banjos when talking about the nWo. After ranting about "andacondas", Piper brings out Kevin Greene, who god damn, is a wall of a human. That's the wall, brother. They get all hyped. 

Chris Jericho vs Dean Malenko WCW US Championship

Tony with shades of JR, getting benoit and Jericho confused. Jericho controls the match until Dean hits a huge powerbomb. Jericho hits his face on the post. Dean and the ref check on him...and then TMF punts him in the face for the win. Lol. Title retained.

High Voltage vs Public Enemy

I'm confused at how or why PE are faces. I guess it's just the table. that's the only thing I can think. Grunge goes through the table. High Voltage wins via a shitty Northern lights supelx.

TO THE MEAN GENE. PE getting mic time. It's allllll good. They're challenging High Voltage to a Philadelphia street fight next week in Philly. Lmao, "Let's put the E in EXCITEMENT in WCW." They do say they might get EXTREME after that, though.

TO THE BACK. Prince is having his ribs taped up.

Harlem Heat vs Jeff Jarret/Steve McMichael

Come on, let's move this JJ/Mongo shit on. Mongo doesn't even show up, so Jeff has to go it alone. And Debra doesn't even seem to care that her husband isn't there. Even though it is a handicap match, HH still needs Sherri to help. This goes on WAY too long. Instead of making Jeff look great, it is making Heat look lame. Mongo eventually shows up and cleans house. Then Jeff loses to a Harlem Side Kick. Lol. 

TO THE MEAN GENE. Let's hope this finally comes to a head. It doesn't. Instead, Mongo says people should be afraid and Jeff is also frustrated this angle won't progress.

Ultimo Dragon vs TAFKATAFKAPI WCW TV Championship

Get out of here, Prince. You shouldn't get any offense in this match. Ultimo wins after punting Prince in the ribs. New champion!

The Giant vs Scott Steiner

Hugh and Konnan attack Scott before he can make it to the ring. Giant saves him. Then they just walk out together. Lol.  No match.

DDP comes to the ring. He comes out to cut the same promo he will be cutting for the next two years or so: That he wasn't supposed to happen, no one thought he could be a main eventer, he was an ANOMALY. Despite beating Macho, this shit ain't over after Macho was about to slap Kim. He calls Savage out. Savage hobbles out. But then Hogan stops him and says he'll handle it, even doing the "diamond upside down is a pussy" bit, which was stolen for Ready to Rumble. And then STANG comes flying through on a zip line. He lands between DDP and the nWo and then NO LOOK THROWS a bat to DDP in the ring. Man, imagine if DDP had SWERVED Sting right then. 

Kind of a weird show. Almost every match had silent photo albums from each match at SS. A whole lot of split screens. The nWo thing, while certainly engaging, is kind of hard to understand. It's all in coded language that is probably shit you'd only really understand if you were reading the Observer in 1997. I completely do not remember the seeds of the Wolfpac split being planted in the spring of 1997, though. That's weird. How could I have forgotten this?