WCW Monday Nitro 3/24/97

Konnan vs Dean Malenko WCW US Championship

What a shitty way to start out the show. Konnan? WCW clearly hates me. Syxx had a PIP promo during the match on Eddie Guerrero.  Konnan legitimately looks like he only had two weeks of training. He's just so bad at everything. Dean wins with the cloverleaf. Title retained.

TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene got some words with Dean, who believes Eddie and Syxx are in cahoots, but has his focus on Chris Benoit. 

Mortis vs Jerry Flynn

BANG! considering both of these dudes are supposed to be karate/pit fighters, there were a lot of kicks. Mortis is too stronk. For a dude with no actual striking background, his kicks are legit. They look better than Flynn's most of the time. Flynn had a flurry of offense, but Kanyon won with the original Flatliner, an avalanche Samoan drop.

La Parka vs Juventued Guerrera

Wow, La Parka is all decked out in a skull suit, sombero, and giant golden skull cummerbund. This is is black tie attire for La Parka. Juvi is also in all black. Some straight lucha fuckery. This is the debut of Parka's dancing in WCW, and Tony marks the fuck out for it. Juvi hits a massive springboard plancha. So much air. Juvi got the SHIT knocked out of him with a spin kick. Headbutt suicida. Superbomb! La Parka gets the win with a spinning body attack from the top rope. Big showing for La Parka. The first time he really showed personality in WCW and everyone was into it.

Recap of Steiners/Outsiders saga from Souled Out all the way up to last week.

TO THE MEAN GENE. The Steiners are going to kill The Outsiders at Spring Stampede. Rick claims his ear injuries are cleared up.

High Voltage vs Public Enemy

PE is super over in Duluth. Kind of weird, right? Was Duluth secretly a hot bed for hip-hop in 1997? They have a pretty nothing match. Table spots are completely cool in front of the refs now. Double J came out and cost PE the match. 

Super Calo vs Psychosis

Sonny Bono, if you wheel, had a PIP promo making fun of Rey, just shitting all over him for being so tiny. Dragon vs Rey at SS. Nice. Genuinely shocked that Calo didn't have a botch in this. Hypno wins with the guillotine leg drop. 

TO THE MEAN GENE. Fucking LOL at Giant wearing what is probably a XXL shirt that looks like a bib on him. Spring Stampede will have a four corners match, and it is possible that Lex and Giant will have to face off. Lex has been the best friend Giant has ever had. 

Hugh Morrus vs Chris Benoit

Benoit/Sullivan will never end. Konnan returns to cost Benoit the match. The DoD attack Benoit after the match. Malenko runs in for a save and also gets a beat down. Finally, Ric Flair hits the ring. This is his first physical action in nearly six months. He takes out the DoD like his name is Hulk Hogan.

Faces of Fear vs Harlem Heat

Fuck, haven't seen FoF in a while it feels like. Seems like the last time I saw them was against HH as well. Just give me a big boot. That's all I really want. I would love to see them do the FoF Bomb to Stevie, though. Book and Barb begin. Book is definitely getting too good to stay in this team. He was always a lot better than Stevie, but the gap has widened so far. This crowd chants for the Gophers, apparently not giving a shit about these guys, but gave respect to Hugh Morrus and Konnan. I'd like to see Barb and Meng jump into the crowd and beat up everyone. LOL at Stevie hitting Barb with a boot. MAKE HIM PAY, BARB. This is pretty enjoyable, if a little weird since both teams are heels and the fans don't seem to care much about picking sides. As soon as I type that, a LOUD Harlem Heat chant breaks out. Stevie is actually looking really good in this. Sherri got bumped off the apron and Booker was able to steal the win with a roll up while holding the tights. Really enjoyable stuff.

TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. Benoit says that Arn made the mistake of revealing the extent of his injuries, and some cocksucka attacked him at the hotel after the show. He also tells Malenko to stop being such a whiny bitch. Flair wants Piper to come out and say he's a Horsemen, not talk about wanting to go home to his wife and kids. 

Malia Hosaka vs Madusa

WCW's treatment of the women's division is so wacky. They've had absolutely no women wrestling each other since the title was formed. And now they talk about number one contenders. We're talking about a title that hasn't even been MENTIONED in a good 5 months. God damn, Madusa gets fucking drilled with a forearm just under the throat. That shit will break your sternum. Madusa wins with a German suplex OUTTA NOWHERE. 

Renegade vs Jim DOOGUN

Lol. Ew. Duggan cheats to win. Of course. Dude hasn't won clean in 2 years.

A video on Sting and WCW's resurgence against the nWo airs. "Without speaking a word, Sting spoke volumes."

This is followed by the literal Horsemen Spring Stampede ad. 

Steiner Brothers vs Amazing French Canadians

Now that I think about it, Col. Parker isn't that different from Johnny Polo. I liked the Steiners/Quebecers feud. The story of the Steiners has gone from Scott's bad back to Rick's bad ear. As soon as Scott's back was healed, that car wreck fucked up Rick's equilibrium, and the nWo has attacked his ear repeatedly sinse. He's had to miss time, and it isn't clear if he's 100%, no matter what he says. Then again, he always ran in circles, so it is hard to tell what's what. This got awkward as shit towards the end. Parker tried to hit Scott with the flag pole. Scott took it and chased Parker around. In the ring, Rick was double teamed and pinned, but the ref was focusing on Scott. Scott then got in the ring with the flag, everyone got confused. Mountie then hit CARL in the head with Parker's boot on accident, with Rick getting the pin. It was a mess.

Most of the nWo comes to the ring. A lot of the roster had travel issues, so Hall and Hogan are missing. 

Randy Savage vs TAFKATAFKAPI WCW TV Championship

THIS is the the title the nWo is going to go after to cash in their Uncensored win. The TV championship. The lowest ranked title in the company. This is Macho's first match since October, so he's rusty. Prince has been wrasslin every week. Plus is 20 years younger. Macho SMASHED Prince with the elbow. God damn. DDP comes out of the crowd and knocks the dog shit out of Virgil before fighting with the rest. I mean...dude jumped into a fight with six or seven people. I don't know what he was expecting to happen. He gets laid out with the jackknife. Macho then drops an elbow. Prince got a powerbomb, too. Bischoff gets to hit a front leg back side roundhouse head kick. Price and DDP get spray painted to end the show.