WCW Monday Nitro 2/3/97

The nWo starts the show. Hogan, Virgil, and DiBiase. The true Holy Trinity. HOLY SHIT, Roddy Piper will be on the show tonight! Hulk says the nWo is on a mission from God. This is his jihad. Hulk SHOOTS on Piper, calling him a cripple and a cunt. He's going to confront that liar, Roddy Piper. And he'll even put the title on the line. 

Ray Mendoza Jr. vs Ultimo Dragon

Mendoza might be a Villano. Very luchay opening.  Mendoza is a bit of a cunt in there. I don't know if it was a botch, great recovery, or just a cool move, but Mendoza catches Ultimo in a pin while Ultimo is trying to roll through the legs. It looked cool and I can't recall ever seeing that. Ultimo hits what appears to be a SHOOT Dragonrana and wins with a tiger suplex.

Billy Kidman vs Glacier

"The immensely popular Glacier." Lol.  Glacier is a bit of a dad boner, as shown by him doing an air check mark for hitting a leg sweep. Baby Kidman gets his ass kicked. Glacier wins with the HBK/Shelton finish. He actually did look pretty impressive in this. 

Ice Train vs La Parka

SMOOV! La Parka didn't dance much yet. In fact, SMOOV does more dancing than Parka. La Parka kills himself with a 360 tope. Face and knee slammed into the floor. I'm sure that hurt like a bitch, and Parka seems pretty pissy afterwards. SMOOV catches a top rope crossbody, almost drops Parka, and turns into the world's strongest slam. It was impressive, because La Parka is a big dude.

TO THE BACK. The Outsiders are standing over a downed Lex Luger, while holding pipes. 

This match is getting awkward. I think La Parka might have a concussion. He just suddenly stopped working with SMOOV after that dive. SMOOV wins with a big standing splash.

TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. The Four Horsemen (and two mareladies) are the guests. Where is Arn? Benoit gets a lot of time to talk. Woman says Jackie got her left overs. Then snaps in the most 90s of ways. Everyone finally seems on the same page. Well, except for the missing Arn. "Jacqueline, no one with a boyfriend named, "Shorty", walks next to the Nature Boy. WHOOO!" Is that...is that racist? Or just making fun of Kevin Sullivan? Because considering it is Ric Flair, I'm inclined to think it was racist.

Harlem Heat vs Steiner Brothers

Why are wrestlers in the stands to watch the show? Did PE and the FoF have to buy tickets to get into the show? Scott's tassels are even shorter this week. It's more like a short fringe. Book and Scott begin. Scott's hair is so bad. So ratty and frizzy. The weird studded weight belt is also an odd choice. His look is just strange during this period. He switched to the single color, pleather singlet, while Rick is still in his super colorful Saved By The Bell gear. FoF and PE hit the ring and cause the match to be thrown out. 

Mike Enos vs Dean Malenko

I don't really understand why Dean now has two weeks in a row against a heavyweight when he's the Cruiserweight champ. Mean Mike works a tight headlight. I'd love to see Dean hit the super gut buster on Enos. TMF instead focuses on the arm of Mike. Anderson style. Syxx comes out of the crowd and steals the title. That little cunt. Dean wins with a small package. The match made sense from a psychology stand point, but it wasn't very interesting. 

TO THE MEAN GENE. Sullivan, Jimmy, Jackie, and...Konnan are the guests. Sullivan talks more about his personal life that everyone is sick of hearing about. Jimmy talks more about how he hates women. Konnan wants a match with Benoit. VIVA LA DUNGEON. Jackie getting promo time again. So bad. This Sullivan/Benoit thing has really gone on long enough. How many brawls around the building and into the bathroom can they have? Sullivan implies that Ric Flair's dick doesn't work. 

DDP vs Renegade

A feud reignited. DDP still kind of looks like a shithead. He's ALMOST to prime DDP, but not quite. DDP wins with an avalanche Kanyon Cutter. BANG. The Outsiders are out on the stage with their pipes. STING is somewhere in the crowd. Macho Man is elsewhere in the arena. DDP grabs a chair and holds up in a corner in the ring. IS DDP SURROUNDED?!?! WHOSE SIDE IS WHO ON?!?! 

Super Calo vs Alex Wright

I expect Calo to botch something huge. I believe he might be the most botchy guy to ever wrestle in WCW/WWE. He fucks up EVERY single time he's out there. And it's usually something that ends with him landing on his head. Lol, there it is, as he slips trying to run up the ropes. Of course. Maybe it's the sunglasses. And he's always busy making sure his hat is okay. He hits a big cross body to the floor, but it's impossible to get past his botches. Alex Wright should have had a 2006 era Smackdown run like Dave Taylor and Tatanka. Wright hits his own dive after some asshole fan takes two bumps for Calo hitting the railing. Calo slips again on the ropes. Superplex. This is a surprisingly long and hard hitting match. Alex wins with his super high missile dropkick. 

Konnan vs Chris Benoit

I hope Benoit beats this shit out of this piece of shit. Instead, Konnan attacks before the bell and completely dominates. Konnan fucks up getting put on the ropes, so Benoit just muscles the shit out of him. Konnan can't even do the splash mountain, his main finisher, properly. Fuck Konnan. He gets folded up with a German suplex. Jackie comes out with her strap. The match is thrown out. Benoit takes the strap away from her. Jackie looks under the ring for a new weapon. Konnan and Jimmy drag her to the back.

Jeff Jarrett vs Steve McMichael

Mongo is sick of Jeff's shit. He should be sick of Debra's shit more than Jeff's. She's basically been cucking him on national TV for months. Mongo knocks the shit out of Jeff until he misses an elbow drop. Jeff's been in a weird position in WCW. He's kind of a tweenerish thing, with no gimmick at all. Debra forces Mongo to get counted out. Jarrett wins! 

TO THE MEAN GENE. Roddy Piper and his youngest son come to the ring. Piper does his normal hometown pop pandering, squeaks...all the shit he always does. Why do these fans like him so much? Fuck Piper. I didn't like him even as a kid when he wasn't an old weird dude. He starts rambling about how it takes a MAN to be a father and turns down the title shot. Hogan, Bischoff, Ted, and Virgil come out. Fuck, I desperately want Hogan to leg drop Colt. HIT THAT KID. "Terry. Terry, don't do this." Piper is SHOOTING. "Terry, I'm asking you from the bottom of my heart, man, don't do nothing. Just let me go home." Hulk rightfully calls out Piper for being a shithead for bringing out the kid in the first place and acting like he doesn't know what he's doing. Piper would do that shit a few more times in WCW, too. Putting his kids in harm's way in hopes to protect himself. What a piece of shit. Hulk makes Piper admit that he lost to Hogan and that Hulk is the true icon. Hulk again calls Piper out for hiding behind a kid. He's completely right. Hogan slaps Piper in the head a few times as he's leaving the ring, and Piper decides maybe he does want to fight. Nitro ends with hobbled ass Roddy Piper standing tall in the ring with the WCW Championship. He agrees to the match at Superbrawl. 

Very enjoyable show until the last 20 minutes or so. Konnan and a Piper main event promo that close together is brutal. The first hour was a ton of fun.