WCW Monday Nitro 5/27/96
The first 2 hour Nitro. Tony Schiavone!!! He finally gets to call a Nitro. The downside is that Larry Zbyszko is also calling the action. Sting vs Scott Steiner tonight. Giant will defend his title against The Shark. Flair and Arn will be in action as a warm up for the GAB, and Col. Parker will debut a new wrestler.
American Males vs Arn Anderson/Ric Flair
Ric and Riggs start the match. Larry is full blown heel announcer. Even more heel than Brain. The Males get a big flurry of offense that sends the Horsemen to the floor. Then the crowd gets THE CLAP. The Males are no longer in control when we come back from break. As they talk about Giant/Quake later tonight, Larry gives us a factoid: This will be the first match where Giant's opponent will weight more than him. That's most definitely not true, as Giant faced Loch Ness at Uncensored, who weighs even more than Shark. Larry and Tony get some champagne from Flair and drink on the job. A lot of stooging around by Flair. Riggs gets a hot tag. God damn it, Buff has done at least 5 back body drops in this. And a missile dropkick. Buff hits a Perfect Plex on Ric. Arn breaks it with a soccer kick. Arn hits a DDT while the ref is distracted. Flair gets the win.
TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. Arn and Flair tell Mongo and Greene what's what. LOL, Ric starts singing Afternoon Delight. What the fuck. Ric done went crazy. Singing weird shit every week, saying his women have wide vaginas (because he has a wide dick?).
TO THE WEIGHT ROOM. Mongo and Kevin Greene pump that iron, brother. In glorious 17 frames per second.
Steve Doll vs The Mauler
Doll is a former member of Well Done. The Mauler is Mike Enos/Blake Beverly and is Col. Parker's new man. The action starts before the bell. Big belly to belly from Enos. Why is he wearing chaps over his wrestling tights? Super fall away slam. We're told Macho has been taken off of all TV events due to being fucking crazy. Hogan has been off TV for almost 2 months now and no one has cared. In fact, the shows have been significantly better with out him. Wait a minute. Who is that coming in from the crowd. That's Razor Ramon! What the hell is he doing here? "You people, you know who I am, but you don't know why I'm here." He calls out Ted Turner and the Macho Man. Razor goes wherever he wants, whenever he wants. He's got a SCOOP for Scheme Gene. He's got a challenge for Gene, Ted Turner, for the Nacho Man, and anyone else in WCW. "You wanna go to war? You wanna a war? You gonna get one." And with that, Razor hands the mic back to Randy Anderson and calmly leaves. The match is over and we have to go to break, fans. And just like that, one of the hottest angles of all time has started.
Sgt. Craig Pittman vs DDP
DDP's pecker is poking out. DDP does shitty push ups. Pittman then does one armed push ups. Don't headbutt a black guy, friend. DDP still sucks at this point. He's the most annoying 80s heel and so out of place. Code Red gets put on. DDP grabs Teddy and shoves him into the guard rail. As Pittman checks on him, DDP hits the Kanyon Cutter for the win. BANG!
Hype video for Macho being crazier than normal over the past few months. For some reason, American Made plays right at the end of the promo.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene is with Shark, who is no longer with the DoD. He's going to hurt Sullivan, beat the Giant, and eat Jimmy Hart tonight.
TO THE HULK HOGAN HYPE. Oh, this is why American Made started to play at the end of Macho's video. This is a video to show that he hangs out with real athletes. He's been doing charity stuff while he's been off TV. I think it is interesting that Hulk only hangs out with black athletes.
HOUR TWO BALLYHOO
Eric says he isn't going to dignify the interruption earlier with a response...by bringing it up unprovoked.
Shark vs The Giant WCW Championship
You can't be FROM Tsunami. God damn it. "There's almost a ton in the ring". Uh. If by "almost", you mean" almost half", then sure. Lariatoooo sends Quake down. We're all here to see Quake hit a powerslam and then get chokeslammed. Quake can't even hit a regular slam. Giant easily slams Quake. He's hitting him in the belly welly. Nice shot of an ass zit on Giant. Quake with a second rope lariatoo. Chokeslam for the win. Title retained. Amazing how much better booked Giant has been since he wasn't involved with Hogan. After the match, Big Bubber comes out and cuts half of Quake's head.
Maxx vs Lex LugerWCW Television Championship
We're told that our intruder will get some time to say what he wants to say by the end of the show. Maxx is DDP's former body guard, Maxx Muscle. While Macho is off TV, Eric makes sure we know that Macho is still on house shows. I'm not sure if I've actually seen Maxx do anything but flex. Oh shit, a Rey Mysterio Jr. name drop. You know, Eric said the AAA stars would be coming in back in JANUARY, and they still haven't arrived at the end of April. But then again, he was talking about the Cruiserweight Championship being a thing in October and it wasn't a thing until late March. Maxx must have been doing a dirty bulk this whole time. Terrible mullet shit going on as well. Apparently Razor came back out. We could hear Eric from off head set say to get him out of here and he can get to talk at the end of the show. Lex eventually wins with the torture rack. Title retained.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene hits the ring to talk with Lex about his upcoming match with The Giant. Gene immediately tries to stir the shit, questioning how Lex got his title shot. This shit is personal. That chokeslam through the table was OVER THE LINE. He wants every big man WCW has to prepare for Giant. So, Lex is pretty much a full face now I think. Kind of. More face than heel, at least.
Bobby Walker vs Brad Armstrong
Bobby Walker comes out in a boxing robe and to a JHV of Eye of the Tiger. Walker was supposed to be at Slamboree, but was taken out with an injury. My man has a 5 head. Eric again talks about Razor, and again says he won't dignify it with a response...by bringing it up again. And allowed Razor to speak his peace at the end of the show. I hope Hall comes back out for this. Bobby apparently hadn't put hard work into jumping on the ropes, as he botches in his Nitro debut. He comes off the top with a flying headbutt thing and gets the win.
Steven Regal vs Alex Wright
Alex's speed is hard for Regal to handle. He hits a pescado as we head to break.
GLACIER HYPE VIDEO. This one is quite a bit different, with new graphics and techno music. This is the first one that actually said Glacier was coming soon.
Back to the match. Regal is being a dick. Eric apologizes if any words that Hall said may have been hurtful or offensive to the fans. Lol. What a weak bitch Bischoff is. Lots of uppercuts from both men. Regal shit talks Razor while he's got Alex tied up on the mat. Regal wins with a jackknife pin.
TO THE MEAN BLOODY GENE. Gene speaks with his lordship. "It's Memorial Day. My father will be so pleased I beat Junior Adolf, there." God damn, Regal. He shits on Giant. He shits on Macho. He shits on Razor. Regal is going nowhere and it's about time he had his say in what goes on around here. Regal challenges Sting to a match so he can get a title shot after beating him.
Sting vs Scott Steiner
Dope. I hope this is the singles version of Steiners vs Lex/Sting from the first Superbrawl. Press slam from Scott. Sting responds with a big dropkick. Flying...something off the second rope. Bischoff says Sting will never win a body building contest, which is a very strange thing to say. Pescado from Sting. Tiger bomb. Spinning belly to belly. Double ax handle to the floor from Scott. That's probably why his foot died a few years later. BIG BOOT. STF from Steiner. Cross arm breaker! This match is weirdly heatless. Oh shit, an early, maybe first appearance of the Scorpion Death Drop. Scott tries to murder his friend with a dragon suplex. The fans react to someone coming out. It's Lex, this time. Rick is quick to follow. Scott hits a super Samoan drop and calls for the end. Sting tries to suplex Scott over the ropes. Had he not grabbed the top rope, Scott probably would have died. Rick and Lex gets into it, taking it into the ring. The match is thrown out and all four men start brawling. Mid carders hit the ring, including Chavo Jr.
Razor gets his last words at the announce booth. He says, "We" are sick of Eric running his mouth. He wants Ted Turner to get his 3 best men, because WE are taking over. Oh shit, DIRT SHEETS reference. "We are coming down here, and like it not, we are taking over."
The first 2 hour Nitro. In ring wise, nothing of importance. But the nWo started right here. No one knew how to react to it. Fans were SO confused at Razor coming. They were confused the rest of the show. Hall couldn't have implied the WWF was invading any more unless he actually said, "I am from the WWF and we are invading your show, chico".