WCW Monday Nitro 5/6/96

Let's pray for another week without Hulk.  It's in Daytona, though, so it seems likely Hulk will make it to the arena.  In fact, I'd say this show might be specifically held there since they just did like 3 weeks in a row in Florida earlier in the year.  This week has Lex vs Giant for the title.  Heenan's mic isn't working. Liger vs TMF!  Sting vs Regal.

Hugh Morrus vs Randy Savage

Hugh attacks on the floor.  Where the fuck has Earthquake been?  Why weren't he and Hugh involved in the Doomsday Cage?  Hugh puts Macho's hat, glasses, and jacket on.  Well, only half the jacket, because he's too fat to get the other sleeve on.  This pisses Macho off.  He tries to pop an eye out and then hangs Hugh with his jacket.  He's disqualified for it.  Attempted murder probably should be a DQ, good call, ref.  He drops an elbow after the match.  The ref shoves him, so he slaps the ref.  Then he slams the ref and drops the elbow on him.  STOP RINGING THE FUCKING BELL.  Security, other officials, and police come out.  He leaves without having to be cuffed this week.  


Dean Malenko vs Jushin Liger

Shiiiiit.  Also, Ray Stevens died.  Otani is the first WCW Cruiserweight Champion.  The title will have its first defense on World Wide.  Liger has a dope silver/black/green variant to his normal costume.  TMF just too smooth.  An enzuiguri sends Dean to the floor.  Ric Flair (in a tux) comes out with Woman and Liz, just after we're told Macho was taken out of the building.  Brainbustaaa from Liger.  Flair has his own catered table.  Come on, couldn't they do this in a Duggan match or something?  Dean starts tearing up Liger's leg as Eric hints that something big will be happening in the nextcouple of months.  Koppo kick in the corner.  Liger hits a big dive from the top.  THAT MOTHERFUCKER GUT BUSTER!  After as series of reversals, TMF gets the win with a tiger driver.


TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE.  What is the meaning of all this?  He rambles about spending Macho's money, and Gene wants to get liquored up.  Flair sends a drink to Debra, who dumps it out.  Before it's all over, Debra is going to know why they call Ric an all around cowboy.



Steven Regal vs Sting

Regal and Finlay were supposed to be partners at Slamboree, but Finlay was injured during the parking lot brawl.  Who was drawn to replace him?  Dave Taylor.  Luck of the...not Irish.  Regal is such a stooge in this.  It is wonderful.  WONDERFULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL THEY CALL HIM MR. WONDERFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLL.  Sting wins after back dropping out of a butterfly suplex.


Jim Duggan vs The Giant WCW Championship

What the fuck, how many errors can you get here?  First off, Sting's music was still playing after a commercial break.  Then Lex's music started playing on top of it.  Then Duggan came out, with his music playing at the same time as Lex and Sting's for a few seconds.  Luger couldn't make it, so Duggan replaces him.  This is the second time this has happened apparently.  A few weeks ago, Giant had WAY too much trouble with Duggan.  He had more trouble with Duggan than Flair by far.  I can't believe BOTH of these guys are still around.  Fuck, Jimmy won't go away, either.  Chokeslam for the win.  Title retained.  Another one after the match.  Cobra runs out, right into a chokeslam.  So do Alex Wright and the Cuban Assassin.  Ric Flair hits the ring with a wooden chair, which breaks over Giant's head, yet doesn't phase him.  Sting comes in and attacks Giant.  I love how much work it takes Sting to knock Giant down, when Hogan would have already booted, slammed, leg dropped, and pinned Giant.  Scorpion Deathlock!  Jimmy Hart tries to break it with the mega phone, which only pisses Sting off.  Lex finally runs out with his bags and a briefcase.  Jimmy calls Giant off before he can attack Lex.


TO THE MEAN GENE.  Where the HELL have you been!?!  The two argue as the show goes off air because WE ARE OUT OF TIME!  

Another week without Hogan, another fun show.  TMF bring back the gut buster.  Giant wrecking fools.  Macho trying to kill someone.  Slamboree is going to be a cluster fuck, because all Lethal Lotteries are really cool in concept and then produce awkward and short matches.  This year, they're pretty blatantly not random feeling since almost all the matches have a team split against each other or people feuding teamed up.