WCW Monday Nitro 4/22/96
This show better not start with Hogan beating up 4 dudes again. Flair/Giant vs Lex/Sting with ALL TITLES ON THE LINE. Anyone who pins Lex is the TV Champion (even Sting). Anyone who pins Flair is WCW Champion (even Giant). Plus if either Sting or Lex are pinned, they lose the tag titles.
Public Enemy vs American Males
RAW SPOILERS: Transvestite over Savio Vega, Mankind over Aldo Montoya, Vader over Fatu. YAWN. BIGGER YAWN. I like that Bischoff has been hyping Buff being in an Andy Sidaris movie. Andy Sidaris, director/writer of such classics as Savage Beach, Picasso Trigger, Guns, Do or Die, Hard Hunted, Fit to Kill, an episode of Kojak, and uncredited football choreographer for MASH. More talk about the Cruiserweight Championship tournament. Benoit and Eddie will be in action tonight and that's the first time cruisers have been on since like January. Both Males do pescados and give the fans THE CLAP. Bischoff wishes Pillman well after a serious automobile wreck. This is weirdly enjoyable. Both teams are really on point and mesh well. It's a better crowd. Feels like there is more energy in the air even when they aren't making noise. Not starting with Hogan is a big upgrade. Rocco does an elbow that is not quite as boss like as Mr. Wonderful's. He then misses a flipping senton, which sets up the hot tag to Riggs. The ring is LOUD tonight. PE throws Riggs over the top right in front of the ring, causing a DQ. Riggs gets put through the table with the "Enemy Sandwich", which is a terrible corny as fuck name Eric is running with.
TO THE MEAN GENE. We get another drawing for the Lethal Lottery at Slamboree. So far we have Meng/Hugh Morrus vs Barbarian/Bobby Walker, Stevie Ray/Big Bubba vs Fire and Ice. Public Enemy are known to have been drawn together. Earlier they said LOD and the Steiners will both be on opposite sides in their respective matches. The match drawn here was Macho/Ric Flair vs Arn/Eddie Guerrero.
Chris Benoit vs Eddie Guerrero
Yes. Benoit returns after his no doubt severe concussion he got during the match with Macho. And it is against Eddie, who has been absent from Nitro as well. Some cockiness from both. ARM DRAGS. Tempers flare right away. Huge back drop from Benoit. After a break, Eric talks about the Cruiserweight Championship tournament. Otani will be the Japanese representative. Otani recently eliminated Benoit from the tournament. Back drops. German suplexes. Eric keeps calling ranas as neck ties. Benoit got the win holding on to the ropes right as it was starting to get interesting.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene is with WCW VP Rob Garner. Macho comes out before Garner can speak on the issues with Macho. If Macho doesn't get his shit together, his career in WCW will have severe repercussions. Macho threatens to blow up city hall. Garner says Macho needs to seek professional help. Macho threatens to slap him and is going to do something crazy. No way. Macho Man, crazy?
Saturday Night has Regal vs Finlay, Macho Man being crazy, Giant, Benoit vs Wright, Sting/Lex vs Harlem Heat.
Meng vs Jim Dugan
Well, this show had a good run. Eric again gives Raw spoilers, burying Goldust in particular. How many matches has Duggan had against Meng? A lot in the 80s. Quite a few in WCW. You'd think he would have learned not to headbutt Meng. "He knew where he was." "Duggan's never known where he was!" Duggan again cheats and tapes his fist, which was enough to put Meng down. Why the ref doesn't give a single shit about this is beyond me, but no refs have. His whole gimmick has been that he blatantly cheats since November or so. Not in the wink wink ironic way that Eddie did, but just straight up cheating with no one even caring.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Another LL drawing. Alex Wright/Disco vs Dick Slater/Bobby Eaton. Boogie Knights! Gene hits on the women. Regal/Finlay vs IRS/DOOGUN.
Ric Flair/The Giant vs Sting/Lex Luger WCW/TV/Tag Team Championships
ALL TITLES ON THE LINE! If I was Giant, I'd immediately chokeslam Flair and pin him. Flair hits on Debra again. Why is she in the same spot every week? Macho comes into the ring OUTTA NOWHERE and is intercepted by police. Flair throws some stomps as Macho is being cuffed. Sting and Giant begin. The Detroit Lions are trying to steal Giant from WCW. Both heels are dumped out of the ring. God damn it KEEP WOMAN AWAY FROM MICROPHONES. Her screaming is TERRIBLE. Faces are in control until Sting tries the Stinger Splash on the guard rail. A fan shoves Woman. Yo, where the fuck is security? That dude didn't get taken away after that. Flair has been in this pretty much the whole time. He hasn't even attempted to tag Giant. Giant comes in to chokeslam Lex. Sting does top rope chop blocks to stop it. Jimmy gets decked. Woman slips some coffee into Ric's hand. Sting and Lex both dodge and it hits Flair. Ric runs away. Sting and Lex also bail. Flair comes back with a towel. I think he offers a blowjob as well.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Giant says that that coffee burned, but it lit a fire in his soul. He's the REAL Giant now. He challenges Ric to a title match next week. Flair grabs a mic and says he's mad that Giant won't accept his apology and he has until the end of the show to apologize to him, or Ric is going to kick Giant's big ass next week.
Giant/Flair next week. Heenan pleads for Ric to settle down and get some help because he's causing too much trouble right now. What a huge surprise, there is no Hogan/DoD shit and the show is the most enjoyable it had been in months. So weird how that happens. If I'm not mistaken, Hulk starts appearing much less on WCW programming before the nWo stuff, so hopefully the shows will get back to being as fun as they were before the Alliance to End Hulkamania shit started up.