WCW Monday Nitro 2/19/96
We're blessed with the 90th Macho/Flair match since the Spring of 1995. We'll also get an Arn/Hulk rematch. Poor Arn.
Arn Anderson vs Hulk Hogan
Lol, it's the opening match? Arn is FUCKED. God, the way Bischoff and Mongo talks, the idea of some scrub like ARN ANDERSON beating Hulk Hogan is completely unthinkable and a huge fluke. This is Arn Anderson we're talking about. Double A. The Enforcer. That Motherfucker. Hulk immediately cheats, of course. Eric says this kind of behavior is what made Hulk miss a big chunk of 1995 with suspensions. You mean the LAST WEEK of the year? Because that's all he missed. He missed one show. And his first show back he got a title shot. While hyping up the WCW episode of Baywatch, Eric finds the time to bury Vader and bring up Paul Orndorff beating his ass. Hulk has completely dominated, doing every cheating move you can do besides a low blow. Eye pokes, eye gouges, choking with Arn's jacket, choking with a shirt from the crowd, choking with hands and boots, using the laces of his boots, using the guard rail. A HOGAN SUCKS chant starts up. Oh wait, there is the low blow. He did it on the floor and had the ref look the other way. Instead of cheating the entire match, he could have already easily won the match. Hulk takesKonnan level Irish whip. What the fuck was that? Big boot. GARBAGE figure four. Sullivan hits the ring. Macho intercepts him. Arn was giving up, but Arn wins via disqualification as he didn't see Sullivan in the ring. Arn has 2 wins in a row over Hulk, but looked even worse this week than he did last week. Hulk ate him alive and cheated the ENTIRE match. From the very start. His first move was cheating.
Alex Wright vs Loch Ness
Mongo call's Nessie's gunt a "front porch". Why would you bring in a 50 year old over seas regional star who is close to 700 pounds and immobile? I doubt he could even take a body slam from Hulk. After spending the entire match standing in the corner as Alex bounces around him, he kicks Alex out of the air and wins with an elbow drop.
Belfast Bruiser vs Brad Armstrong
My goodness, FINLAY! A ray of sunshine in this Hogan ego stroking party that has been going on. The WCW Cruiserweight Championship is on its way, with a tournament taking place in both the US and Japan, with the champion to be crowned in April. What took so fucking long, Eric? You were talking about that back in October. Finlay looks like a scum bag with his dirty mullet and mustache. There are USA chants, which is lol because that's the only way Brad Armstrong is ever going to get chants. Finlay does not play with his shoulder blocks. Or anything, really. He tears Brad's leg apart. Both fall over the top after Armstrong tries a cross body. Finlay wins after cutting off Brad's fire up with a tiltawhirl powerslam. He's coming for Regal.
Randy Savage vs Ric Flair WCW Championship
I just...don't ever need to see this match again. Flair sings, "I got the whole world, in my hands. WHOOOOOO. I got the whole world, in my hands." Suck it, Bray. The belt still Has Macho Man on the title plate. Flair left it there on purpose as an insult. Is that like Hulk's name being left on the title 3 months after he lost it? Macho SPITS at Flair. It's their every match. The match they've had I believe 4 times TV this year already. That's not even including Saturday Night, where I believe they also had 2 matches this year. And all of their matches are pretty much the same match they had in the WWF. And really, 90% of Flair matches are the same match anyway. Someone threw a shoe to Ric. Macho intercepted and hit Ric with it. Sullivan ran out and missed his cue or something, because he ran around the entire ring before Hulk came out to chase him. Arn hits Macho with a DDT. Ric pins. Title retained. BROTHER BRUTI runs out and runs Sullivan/Flair/Arn off while the announcers pretend they have no idea who it is. The fuck? You don't recognize that guy? Ric, Arn, Sullivan invade the announce table again before Beefcake runs them off. Then Hulk shows up and says THE BOOTY MAN can get it done! BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY MAN/Hogan/Savage vs Arn/Sullivan/Flair next week! BIG BOOTY MAN, brother! If he can't kick your can, no one can, brother!
Sooo...why didn't Eric, Mongo, or Brain recognize Beefcake? Why was the Zodiac not referenced at all? Maybe we'll find out next week, but the "Who is that man?" bullshit was ridiculous. Any random 80s guy shows up and they know who it is. Beefcake comes out with out the Zodiac face paint for the first time in like a year and they suddenly forgot what he looked like? Just when I thought the Hogan shit couldn't get worse, Beefcake turns face and rejoins the team. If there is a light to be seen, it is that the Cruiserweight Championship is coming. Finlay has arrived. AAA was mentioned and lucha guys are coming.
Where are Lex and Sting? They haven't been on for 2 weeks when their story took a big step at the PPV.