WCW Monday Nitro 1/22/96
Live from Las Vegas. Where Clash of the Champions will be tomorrow night. WHAT THE FUCK IS KONNAN DOING HERE?! NOOOOOOOOOO. He showed up to aggressively say he is the Mexican Heavyweight Champion and will defend his title tomorrow night against Psychosis. Konnan. No. Not Konnan.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Macho and Hulk come out with a bevy of babes, including Linda Hogan, Debra, and Woman. Oh wait. This was a Macho promo and Hulk came out to interrupt it to say he wants a title shot and then leave. Such a prick.
Randy Savage vs Ric Flair WCW Championship
Tomorrow night, MISS ELIZABETH will be with Hulk and Macho! Kevin Greene will also be with them. Flair immediately goes after Woman, tries to fuck her, and gets slapped. Oh shit, and the Road Warriors will be reunited at the Clash as well! This is Macho vs Flair, so you know what you're getting. Macho lands on the guard rail as we head to break and get a dope WCW magazine ad. You know, I don't think I ever saw WCW Magazine in person. Bischoff is particularly bad in this trying to spit out all the announcements for the Clash. He sounds completely lost the whole time. Jimmy Hart gets on the apron. Arn comes out. He tries to hit Macho with the international object, but accidentally hits Flair. Hulk comes out and decks Arn. The bell rings. Macho hits the elbow. NEW CHAMPION! Hulk immediately is in the ring celebrating like he won, which Macho immediately (and finally) calls him out on. Fans boo as soon as Hulk starts talking. Hulk is taking partial credit for the win. He literally had nothing to do with it. Arn had something to do with it, though. Macho said he'd give Hulk a title shot if he earns it. Basically, Macho put Hulk in his place, told him to stop embarrassing himself, that HE is the man and the champion, and he'll get a title shot when he earns one. Fucking great for someone to finally call him out.
Dean Malenko vs Brian Pillman
These ropes are absurdly loose. "He's walking a very, very fine line. If you get my drift." I don't, Eric. What are you trying to say? Can't even run the ropes properly because they're so loose, especially the middle. TMF gets salty aboutdirty break. "I'm the shooter. I'M THE SHOOTER!' Now, was that a shoot? Slap. To TMF. Not a great move. Dean wrecks him for a few minutes until Pillman hits a tornado DDT. And doesn't go for a pin because he's wacky that way. Tiger bomb! 2 count. A second tornado DDT is thrown off. Tossing gut buster. Fans respect TMF. Weird ass attacking drop toe hold into an ankle lock thing. Dean gets his ankle twisted in the ropes. Nick Patrick clearly saw this and counted the pin anyway.
Harlem Heat vs Lex Luger/Sting WCW Tag Team Championships
Lex and Stevie start the match. Stevie beats that sucka down in the corner. Sting tags in and is on fire. Stinger Splashes everywhere. As he puts the deathlock on Stevie, Lex argues with the ref that Booker is still in the ring. Which allows Book to hit the ax kick to break the hold. Sting is getting MOLLYWHOPPED. Either the crowd stomping is shaking the hard cam, or the operator is drunk as shit. Why is Stevie doing a nerve hold? He's not a foreign heel. What is he thinking? Harlem Hangover misses. Sting makes the hot tag to Lex. Wait, the ref missed that? No fucking way. He was looking right at the tag. Jimmy Hart came out and gave Luger something. The hot tag counts this time. Lex hits Book with a roll of silver dollars, which busts and rolls all around the ring, which Nick Patrick saw and didn't care about at all. NEW CHAMPIONS! Sting doesn't realize how Lex won the match.
Hulk Hogan vs One Man Gang
OMG is the US Champion. He won the title in a dark match at Starrcade. No footage was ever seen on Nitro, but I think some clips were shown on Saturday Night. Why are there so many kids in Vegas on a Monday night? Unsurprisingly, Hulk makes the Gang look like a loser for no reason. Gang got 2 moves in. A slam and his splash, which Hulk immediately Hulked Up after. What's the point of feeding the US Champion to Hulk like that? The DoD and Horsemen come to ringside. Macho runs out and they fight everyone off. Zodiac won't let Giant go after Hogan, yet Zodiac himself went after Hulk. Pillman tries to getGiant fired up and wants the fight to happen NOW, not tomorrow night. Arn gives him a TMF look. Sullivan warns Pillman not to bump into him again.
TO THE MEAN BROTHERJACKDUDE. Part of the promo was cut on. Regardless, the idea is that Hulk is going to make sure he gets his title shot. Hulk says, "Miss Alizabess".
Things I liked about this show: Macho finally calling Hulk out on being an embarrassing asshole who needs to knock that shit off and who doesn't automatically deserve a title shot against him just because. Lex cheats to win the titles and Sting has no idea. DoD/Horsemen have made up, but Pillman is still causing problems between the groups. Fans gave an applause break to TMF.
Things I didn't like about this show: Bischoff's shilling for the Clash. Not because he was shilling, but because of how terrible he was at it. The absurdly, distractingly loose ring ropes. The title match going on first while Hulk main events and completely chews up OMG, who was also the US Champion at the time. Completely needless. There are 4 other dudes in the DoD that could have been in that match that weren't holding the second most important title.
COTC is tomorrow night. Miss Elizabeth, Kevin Greene, and the Road Warriors will be on hand. Sherri and Col. Parker will be getting married.