WCW Monday Nitro 8/19/96
VK Wallstreet vs Jim DOOGUN
Oh gross. A rematch no one ever asked for. Why doesn't Duggan just come to the ring with his fists already taped? The refs clearly don't think it is cheating when he does it in the middle of a match. He could save himself some time and bumps b y coming out already taped up, throwing a punch, and getting the win in 10 seconds. A win-win for everyone. Tony suggests that Duggan's intelligence is very underrated. "Are you ribbing?" For the first time ever, the ref (Nick Patrick) doesn't allow Duggan to use the tape. IRS steals it and tries to use it, but Duggan had ANOTHER roll of tape that he used to win. Nick Patrick seemed to not care about the second roll.
TO THE MEAN GENE. God, I hope this shit isn't building to a Hogan vs Duggan match. "Because, Terry, I want to talk to you as a man." Oh my. Duggan is SHOOTING. This isn't Jim DOOGUN talking to Hollywood Hogan. This is Jim Duggan talking to Terry Bollea. Macho Man comes to the ring. Macho just takes over the promo. Gene shows footage of Hulk hitting Macho with a chair last week. Macho isn't holding back ever again. And that's bad news for Hogan.
Larry and Tony talk about how the nWo has really unleashed the sleeping Giant in the Giant.
Robert Eaton vs Chris Benoit
Sir Bob of Eaton. Stunt Granny is back. Benoit goes right to work on Eaton, not even giving Woman the chance to fuck him over this week. Eaton gets wrecked on the floor, getting sent face first into the post and hip tossed. Eaton has to get dirty to get things back to his advantage. Alabama Jam misses. Iron Eagle does not. That was enough to put Eaton down.
GLACIER YOU MOTHER FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT GET IN THE RING MOTHER FUCKER
Coverage on the Nick Patrick controversy from COTC.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene is with Sting and Lex in the back. They'll be facing Arn/Flair later tonight. They've got a surprise tonight.
Disco Inferno vs Scott Norton
Oh, poor Disco. Disco tries to take it to Norton, but can't avoid dancing. Nothing Disco does even phases Norton. Norton wins with a shoulder breaker followed by a divorce court followed by a Fujiwara arm bar.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene is with Teddy Long and Ice Train. Teddy claims that Norton never beat Ice Train and that the ref (Nick Patrick) gave up for Train. "I ain't always gonna be walking around here looking like a mommy, baby."
Steven Regal vs Dean Malenko
Oh shit. Regal does a wacky arm drag from the mat. Oh you cunts. Show 9 minutes of IRS vs Duggan, but go to a break a minute into Regal vs Dean. Coming back from break, after some flashy technical shit, Regal hits a stiff enzuigiri. Regal has been controlling most of the match. TMF gets back into it with a springboard dropkick to the back of the head and follows with a big German suplex. A second with a bridge. This all gets Regal all pissy. After a series of reversals and exchanges, TMF wins with a la magistral cradle.
TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. The Horsemen are the guests. Arn don't give no fucks about someone not liking him.
HOUR TWO BALLYHOO
Public Enemy vs Nasty Boys
Bischoff talks about the WWF suing WCW. What a weird thing to bring up on screen. Oh hey, FUCK YOUR SPLIT SCREEN BULLSHIT. PE end up putting themselves through a table and the Nastys win.
TO THE NASTY GENE. God. Duggan and Nasty Boys promos. This show. "We've known for many years that you have been hangin and bangin with Hulk Hogan." Hogan does what he wants, just like the Nasty Boys.
Bischoff makes it clear that no one in WCW is paranoid of the nWo. Maybe it is just a coincidence, but Bischoff is wearing black and white.
DDP vs Chavo Guerrero Jr
Revenge for Eddie. I bet Chavo misses all of that hair. Chavo hits a big plancha and almost face plants into the guard rail. Chavo goes shoulder first into the ring post early on and DDP spends the rest of the match focusing on it. Bateaster Bomb. DDP pulls up for no reason. DDP goes for the Kanyon Cutter. Chavo reverses it into a back slide for the win. DDP hits a Kanyon Cutter after the match. BANG! DDP then takes Nick Patrick's belt and begins whipping Chavo. Randy Anderson runs in and stops DDP, and then confronts Patrick on why he didn't stop DDP.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene calls Nick out on this. Nick says if he was a police officer and came upon a scene like that by himself, would he go in or wait for back up? Nick says the main cause of all these issues are because of Gene causing problems.
American Males vs Harlem Heat WCW Tag Team Championships
It was 11 months ago that the Males upset HH to win the titles. Heat attack before the bell. Nick Patrick is the ref again. Riggs is immediately the FIP. This is the first time Riggs has been on Nitro since being part of the nWo beat down at Disney. Buff gets shoved off the ropes by Booker right into a powerslam from Stevie. Titles retained.
GLACIER YOU FUCK HEAD. YOU CAN FUCKING TRY ME, FATSO.
Arn Anderson/Ric Flair vs Sting/Lex Luger
I wonder what the big surprise is. Sting wants Mongo and Benoit in the ring as well.
TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. Gene is now in the ring with the Horsemen, Sting, and Lex. The big surprise is that Sting is offering a truce to join together in the War Games to take on the nWo. He makes an impassioned plea saying that these 4 represent WCW more than any other 4 guys in the company, and they are the only 4 in the ring that really KNOW what War Games is all about. "You can't bring all these jigglin' pecs and all these show muscles to War Games." Arn wants to know if Sting can let go of the Little Stingers dig down deep into the muck of what it takes to win the War Games. Flair will agree to the team if Mongo and Benoit agree to it. Mongo and Benoit will stand behind any decision Arn and Flair make.
THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PLAYED FOR BY THE NEW WORLD ORDER. It's just Hall and Nash hanging out in Denver. Shits on Sting and Lex, and especially the Booty Man.
The Giant vs Randy Savage
Macho attacks with a chair during Giant's entrance. It doesn't really matter much. The match is thrown out before it even starts. Macho low blows out of a chokeslam. He throws Jimmy out of the ring and then fights off the DoD before running away when the numbers game gets too much. Giant gets pissed, jumps over the top rope, and runs to the back.
Man, BOTH of the main matches on the card never even happened. Back to back, too. That seems awfully shitty for the TV audience and the arena audience. The show was really weak outside of Regal/TMF and what might have been Sting's best WCW promo. Really good segment all around from Lex, Sting, and Arn. But still, advertised 2 big matches and neither happened. Nasty Boys. IRS. Duggan. Come on, WCW. Fuck. No live nWo.