WCW Monday Nitro 8/12/96

A terrible thing happened last night.  Perhaps the worst thing to happen in WCW history.  Hulk Hogan and the nWo won the WCW Championship and spray painted it with their logo.  A dark day.  Where were Sting and Luger when WCW needed them?

We're shown stills of Outsiders vs Lex/Sting and the wacky finish with Nick Patrick.  

High Voltage/Rough & Ready vs Faces of Fear/Hugh Morrus/Task Master

Sullivan now wrestles in jeans and a t-shirt.  HV take Hugh down, which just pisses FOF off.  In turn, this pissed RR off.  A lot of pissy dudes.  Big boot.  It briefly breaks down for a moment with all 8 men brawling.  Meng hits Rage with a super kick for a quick win.  RR attacked HH after the match.  

Sting and Lex come to ringside.  They're sick of playing by the rules and what they want right now is a fight with the Outsiders.  God damn it, Larry and his "manly" bullshit.  No response from the nWo.  


The Renegade vs DDP

Gross.  It was shitty a year ago.  Now, Renegade is just some dude named Rick and not even a Warrior rip off any more.  At least the crowd is hot.  Lariatoooooo.  After this match, we're going to get a response from the nWo to Sting/Lex's challenge.  More chin locks than a 2008 Randy Orton match.  Shit.  Kanyon Cutter for the win.  BANG!


TO THE BACK.  The nWo are hanging out in their locker room.  They'll all in their gear tonight, and they'll fight again, but on their time.  They just ramble.  Not unlike the paid announcements, but in color and SUPER chill.  

Jim Powers vs Konnan

FUCK YOU.  Konnan now wrestles in a speedo.  And I think he's a heel now.  Tony says the reason is because he saw what Hulk did and is going to do the same thing.  God he sucks.  The way he drops into holds is pathetic, and the way he's blown up in 3 minutes is even more pathetic.  Konnan gets a pin with his feet on the ropes for leverage.  

TO THE AGARRADO GENE.  God, a Konnan match AND promo?  FUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU.  LOL at Gene having to turn Konnan to face the hard cam.  He huffs and puffs through a promo and is a heel but is still on the side of WCW.


Ron Studd vs Chris Benoit

Hm.  This guy looks like a yetaaay or maybe a super ninja.  Benoit slaps him in the face, twice.  You know, Reese looks like if someone gave Tyrion Lannister a position to stretch his body out and as a result all of his hair fell out.  Benoit dominates as he almost immediately goes after the legs and has the Yetaaay on the mat.  What.  He's going up top.  Benoit catches him and wins with a superplex.  A 5'10" dude superplexing a 7 footer.


TO THE MEAN GENE.  Gene speaks with Benoit and the yaks.  Woman tries to give him a boner.  Benoit will face Giant Thursday night at the Clash.  The Horsemen have an agenda.  Agenda.  Agenda.  Agenda.  

Stills of Harlem Heat vs Steiners are shown.


Despite having completely nondescript matches and Konnan promo, hour one blew by.  Brain asks Bischoff where he was last week.  Eric again says he was taking care of some business.

Steiner Brothers vs Harlem Heat WCW Tag Team Championships

A night of rematches as it turns out.  In addition to this and Sting/Lex vs Outsiders, we'll have Rey vs Ultimo again, and another Flair/Macho match.  Steiners attack from behind before the bell rings.  Book gets chucked all around.  Rick again tries to kick Sherri in the face.  Rick does his 3rd powerslam of the match.  Sherri grabs Scott's leg as he's doing a suplex.  Rick chases Parker into the ring, who falls over the pin, giving the Steiners the win via DQ when Harlem Heat could have won via pinfall.  Harlem Heat seem sick of Parker.


Highlights of Madusa busting up Bull's bike.  

Rey Mysterio Jr vs Ultimate Dragon WCW Cruiserweight Championship

Dragon now has some Muta mist.  Kick combo right away.  Eric calling them is brutal.  Hand spring elbow.  Running Liger bomb.  Rey is REKT.  Rey gets stuck trying to roll up theropes, but is able to recover with a diving rana and a hilo.  Dragon comes out with a stiff suicide dive.  I think both heads hit the guard rail.  Brutal tiger suplex.  Dragon is making the same mistakes as he did at Hog Wild. They again cost him.  Title retained.


Randy Savage vs Ric Flair WCW US Championship

This is how you kill a money match.  Liz slaps Macho.  Macho dives after her and barely misses.  Randy Anderson gets hit with a clothesline.  During this, Hogan comes out and blasts Macho in the back of the head with a chair.  The one hard chair shot the throws in his life and it is to the back of the head?  Nick Patrick was checking on Anderson.  Hulk rolled Macho into the ring and doesn't touch Flair.  Flair pins Macho, with Patrick counting the fall.  Title retained.  Is Flair the 4th man?  Is he the 5th man?  


Stills of Hogan/Giant, which Eric says was controlled by Giant.  Not at all.  Then we're shown footage of the SWERVE on Beefcake and the spray painting of the belt.  

TO THE MEAN BROTHERJACKDUDE.  No stopping the nWo, brothers.  Flair vs Hogan at the Clash.  This whole thing is just business.  He brings up Waco, General Custer, and Bill Clinton.  He has a hard time saying "categorize" and from this point on, everyone is going to get new names or something.  Ric Flair will now be known as "The Stupid Little Man".  Well, that's not very intimidating, Hulk.  

Eric gets a lot of noise from the truck and some of it is heard on the air.  The match is on, but no one knows where The Outsiders are.

The Outsiders vs Sting/Lex Luger

Hall and Nash come out of the crowd.  It's amazing how much cooler they are than Hogan.  Lex comes out without Sting.  Nick Patrick is the ref again.  Lex goes after The Outsiders alone.  Sting shows up, also out of the crowd and surprises Nash with a top rope lariatooo.  The Outsiders get bumped to the floor and try to regain their cool.  Sting hits a pescado.  Man, I remember that one he used to do around 1987 or 1988 where he'd go FLYING.  Shit was bonkers.  I wish he was still able to do that in 1996.  Sting is blatantly thrown over the top rope and it wasn't called a DQ.  Bischoff points this out.  In fact, Patrick is basically allowing this to be a Texas Tornado match.  Hall dodges a Stinger Splash.  It looked like Sting either hit the post or the camera.  The Four Horsemen hit the ring and the Outsiders bail into the crowd.  Patrick just bailed in the middle of it.  I think he might have pulled Hall out of the way of the Stinger Splash.  You couldn't see it on the live shot, but the replay clearly showed it.


TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE.  Ric doesn't like Lex or Sting, but he's sticking with WCW.  Flair is going to kill Hogan at the Clash I think.     


Decent enough show.  All the rematches was really lame, but Hall and Nash in the ring on Nitro seemed like a huge deal.  They are SO much cooler than Hogan.  Like, Hogan is barely cooler than he was as Darkside Hogan.  He's so cornball and tries so hard to be an over the top 80s heel while Hall and Nash are just two cool dudes doing what they want.