WCW Monday Nitro 12/30/96

TO THE BACK.  A cavalcade of limos have arrived.  It's the nWo!  All of them!  BUT WHO WERE LIMOS?!?!?!  The conflict with The Giant continues.  Hulk tries to settle things down.  It seems Hogan had promised Giant a title shot if he won WW3, but Hulk won't do it.  Ted eventually makes the camera man leave.

Last night, Roddy Piper defeated Hulk Hogan.  However, it was not a title match and Piper isn't even part of WCW.  He came in on his own for a one shot match.   

Amazing French Canadians vs Public Enemy

Some old dude tries to hide from the camera.  I can't blame him.  I wouldn't want to be seen at a wrestling show, either. Looks like Stunt Granny is back.  I hope she knocks the shit out of someone.  This is a weird looking venue.  So much stalling bullshit.  From both teams. This already feels like a house show style TV taping so no one gets hurt for the holidays.  Mountie moves out of the way of the Drive By and Grunge gets put through the table.  Mounties win with the cannon ball.

Jushin Liger vs Ultimo Dragon

I assume this isn't a title match since they have a match for the J Crown at the January 4th dome show in NJPW.  Maybe it is a Cruiserweight Championship match.  Well, he only wears that belt out, so maybe.  Lariatooo battle.  Powerbombu.  Tiltawhirl battle.  So many battles.  Dragon hits a headbutt suicida.  By the way, Liger's hand spring back back attack thing is really stupid and I hate when he does it.  Brainbusters and superplexes and stuff.  No flow, half speed.  No one wants to be hurty for New Years.  Ultimo hits the OG Dragonrana and the tiger suplex for the win.

Konnan vs Big Bubber Strap Match

Bubber gets to be the first to debut the B-Team music on WCW programming.  It's so dope.  I think it is better than the original.  Bubber never shows up.  Instead, IRS takes the match.  If there is an upside to any of this, it is that I might get to see Konnan strapped really hard.  This looks like a deleted scene from Army of Darkness.  Konnan wins via the Savio Vega method.  Konnan won and didn't even realize it.  He didn't get hit hard even once.  Fuck this.

Hogan and Bischoff come to the ring.   They say Hulk beat Piper clean in the middle of the ring.  They're saying all kinds of shit because Piper was only in WCW for the one match, so he can't respond.  

Hugh Morrus vs Kensuke Sasaki

Another lariato battle.  Nothing interesting, but Hugh hits the moonsault.  Sonny OhNo hits him with the Japanese flag and got Sasaki disqualified.  During the match, Bischoff came to the booth.  He took the master tape of Starrcade from the truck and won't allow any footage of Hogan losing to air.

Harlem Heat vs Faces of Fear

Ax kick doesn't even knock Barb down.  The super belly to belly happens, even though the ropes were lose and Barb was falling anyway.  Barb got really confused when Booker blocked Meng's atomic drop, so he just stood there wondering why he didn't get to kick Book.  Col. Parker comes out and hits Sherri in the ass with his riding crop.  He thought she'd enjoy it.  She didn't.  The Mounties come out and throw what appears to be soot or gunpowder.  Charcoal perhaps.  Book broke up the pin and Stevie got the win anyway.

TO THE MEAN SCUM GENE.  DDP repping that fanny pack hard for a promo.  He won't give Gene any answers and says some vague things before walking off.  


Oh SHIT.  RODDY PIPER has arrived!

Disco Inferno vs Glacier

Glacier is dumb as shit.  15 years of promos only to debut as a mid carder who has a super elaborate entrance and 3 minute matches.  LOL Disco just buried Peyton Manning!  I knew I loved Disco.  Fuck Peyton and his giant head and weird voice.  So sick of hearing about that dude.  They STILL talk about him regularly on the local news in Indiana.  The ring is covered in whatever the Mountie threw.  Ruined the mat for sure.  Disco shoves the ref in the way of a kick and then hits a lariatoooooo.  BEAT HIS ASS.  ICE HIM!  Disco tries to put on his new leg hold he's being working on, but he doesn't know how to do it.  Cryonic/super/crescent/thrust kick for the win.

Chris Benoit vs Chris Jericho

Action starts fast and furious.  Triangle dropkick is followed with a dropkick/double stomp thing to the floor.  Benoit wasn't happy with any of it.  Jericho avoids the death powerbomb.  But not chops and lariats and elbows.  Back superplex gets Benoit the win.  

TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE.  The Horsemen are the guests.  No Arn.  Hopefully Woman knocks the shit out of Debra.  Debra says she's really missed Woman.  Then Woman puts Debra AND Mongo in their place.  Flair keeps the peace until Jeff Jarrett comes out.  Jeff asks where Arn is.  So does Woman.  Flair says he's at the Hyatt with beer cold enough to freeze the hand off an Eskimo.  Then he dances with Woman.  Debra says Woman is in a bad mood due to holiday weight gain.

Octagoncito/Mascarita Sagrada vs Jerito Estrada/Piratita Morgan

Midgets!  Only said about 1000 times this show.  They are minis, guys.  Didn't pretty much all of these dudes show up in the WWF shortly after?  This one dude is at least as big as Rey.  All this lucha fuckery.  Sagrada gets the win with a roll up OUTTA NOWHERE.  Whatevs, brahs.  

Dean Malenko vs Rey Mysterio Jr

Jobber entrances for both.  Both guys are LOSERS.  Maybe if they had won their matches last night they would have not had jobber entrances.  Huge Flapjack Norton.  I wish Norton was on the show to beat up someone small.  Or Konnan.  Tossing gut buster.  I think Ralphus is a camera man here.  I thought he was a truck driver for WCW?  Idk.  Looks like him.  I guess fat, bald, toothless middle aged guys all kind of resemble each other.  Rey slips on the ropes twice.  The ashy stuff in the ring makes it look like Rey shit his pants.  Rey tries one of his flippy spinny bullshit and TMF plants him with a powerbomb.  Dean gets knocked to the floor.  REy comes out with a flying tea bag to the floor over the post.  Rey slips again on the ropes.  The bell rings.  Time limit draw.  

Greg Valentine vs Lex Luger

Greg Valentine.  In 1996.  Lex wins with the torture rack in pretty short order.

Roddy Piper comes to the ring.  He said Starrcade was a one time thing, that he was only there for that night.  But now the cunt is still here.  He lied.  If these people had watched Starrcade they wouldn't be cheering him.  Aw shucks, greatest fans in the world, SHOOTING.  Last night was his last fight, ya know.  Ya know.  Ya know.  Ya know.  Aw shucks.  Ya know.  Hogan and Bischoff come out.  I can't believe fans are into this angle.  Piper says POOP.  Hulk says this is about Piper's family, boy.  Piper's son asked him to take it easy on his dad and that's why Hulk didn't kill Piper.  This makes Piper want to fight.  The rest of the nWo ambushes him.  The ring fills with garbage.  They give him a triple shoulder breaker on Norton's knee.  Hulk hits Piper's hip with a chair.  Giant is told to chokeslam him.  He doesn't do it.  Nick Patrick is officially in the ring in an nWo shirt.  Giant stands off from the rest of the nWo.  Hulk tries to talk some sense into him.  Piper is somewhere off camera spazzing the fuck out.  Hulk slaps Giant.  Giant grabs him by the throat and screams for everyone to leave the ring.  Hulk CRIES and screams he's sorry and will give Giant a title shot.  Then Hulk sics the nWo on Giant.  Eventually the numbers are too much.  Hulk beats on Giant with the title belt.   WE'RE OUTTA TIME!  SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!

So ends another year of Nitro reviews.  

WCW Monday Nitro 12/23/96

Go home show for Starrcade.  And for CHRISTMAS!  Hopefully Santa makes an appearance.  

Eddie Guerrero vs Chris Benoit

The winner of this will face DDP at Starrcade in the tournament finals for the US Championship.  These guys really always have a simmering feud whenever you need a good match.  Sullivan had an ominous PIP promo.  Name dropping Genghis Khan and shit.  They go at it with fast and furious action.  DDP comes out to the announce booth.  He want to make it a threesome.  Lots of swift head lock takeovers.  The crazy powerbomb makes its return, although the angle changed at the last moment.  This crowd is HOT.  Larry continues with his hyper masculine misogynist bullshit.  DDP agrees with him.  Larry CONSTANTLY talks about what it is to be a REAL man and how women belong in the kitchen and what not, yet whenever the time comes for him to really man up, he backs down every single time.  He won't stand up to the nWo despite constantly talking shit about them.  This dude backed down to Virgil, Ted, and Bischoff.  FUCK Larry.  Benoit damn near kills himself with a superplex.  Benoit goes for back superplex.  Eddie shoves him and hits a frog splash, twisting in mid air.  Eddie vs DDP at Starrcade!  This was their normal fun match, but this crowd being so hot really helped it.

TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE.  The Four Horsemen are the guests.  All of them, for the first time in a long time.  Arn talks some shit about Benoit stealing Woman, and basically says Benoit deserves whatever he gets.  He wants to know where the fuck Woman is this week.  Debra takes over the interview before Benoit can answer anything.  Benoit takes back over and says all these rumors are just rumors and he and Woman were in Germany working on Horsemen plans.  He starts to talk to Debra.  Mongo bows up to him.  "Talk to the hand.  Talk to the hand, 'cuz the man don't understand."  Chris Benoit said that.  CHRIS BENOIT.  Flair has to calm things down.

Hogan, Liz, Ted, and Virgil come to the ring.  I wonder how long this promo will feel.  Piper is afraid, skirts, blah, blah.  He compares himself to Abe Lincoln and George Washington.  3 days later, the promo ends.  

Tombstone vs Lex Luger

Tombstone is ECW's 911.  I don't remember him in WCW at all.  God, what a dick move to steal him from ECW.  There was NO reason to steal him.  Dude didn't even wrestle.  He just chokeslammed people.  He was ECW's version of "get the hook".  I can see picking up Eddie/Benoit/Dean/Rey/Juvi/Hypno/Jericho.  Even Public Enemy.  But 911?  Pure dick move.  I can't believe Lex isn't facing Ron Studd.  That's the go to big guy to job before someone face Giant.  I think it happened on a Saturday Night, because I'm pretty sure it was in the video of Lex racking big dudes last week.  Lex wins with the torture rack.  He then turns around right into The Giant.  This crowd is HOT AS FUCK.  THE GIANT IS IN THE TORTURE RACK!  Momentarily.  The Outsiders hit the ring as soon as Lex got him up and Lex bailed.  

Recap of Sting's actions on last week's show.  Tony and Larry use this as proof that Sting is with the nWo.  WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?!  He ATTACKED the nWo Sting.  He gave the Steiners his bat.  He came out to HELP WCW in the brawl and WCW guys attacked him, so he left.  

Rey Mysterio Jr vs JL

I figured JL was done.  Guess not.  Whatever.  Fuck Jerry Lynn.  I blame him and RVD for all the indie respek bullshit.  They didn't create it, but their matches had it in abundance and inspired a generation.  JL has the first dive.  And he misses.  Rey does a running rana off the apron.  Rey vs Liger at Starrcade!  Dope.   Jerry responds with a Bateaster Bomb.  Rey counters the second, but not the belly to back suplex.  Mark Curtis' voice is much deeper than you'd expect.  Rey hits a suicide dive right past the ring post.  Larry wants to see Rey in 10 years.  By 2006, Rey had been the World Heavyweight Champion, won the Royal Rumble, and took a bunch of steroids.  Rey wins with a springboard victory roll into a super rana.  After the match, Rey comes to the announce booth.  He talks about the rumors of Sting joining the nWo and says they are untrue.  He says Sting's reaction last week was normal after he jumped on him.  He tells Sting that he knows Sting won't betray WCW like Hogan and that Sting didn't try to hurt Rey last week.  He asks for the tape to be replayed to prove it.

A Sting video plays.  The same one from a few weeks ago, not the one Rey asked to be replayed.  


It seems that the nWo has said that Roddy Piper has arrived.  Then we get a recap of the Hogan promo.

Glacier vs Sgt. Parker

When is Mortis going to debut?  TWO sergeants in WCW and they haven't had a feud?  BULLSHIT.  Glacier matches seem extremely choreographed.  The fans, who had been so hot, are not at all into Glacier.  It takes two Cryonic Kicks to put Parker down.

Amazing French Canadians vs Public Enemy

Ohhhh Canadaaaaaaaa.  Can a da can dAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.  It's amazing that they don't even actually sing the real national anthem and just say CANADAAAAAAAAAAAAA over and over.  PE put their toboggans over the Canadians' heads during the anthem.  Racists.  The Mounties hit the flying tea bag for 2.  Mountie's hair makes me laugh so much.  It's a comb over and comb back at the same time.  Canucks try the table assisted cannon ball again.  It doesn't work.  PE use the table in the ring and get disqualified.  However, the table broke so they do the Drive By onto a flat table.

Recap of Bubber joining the nWo last week.

Big Bubber vs Konnan

Man, they were hyping that an nWo member would wrestle this week and it ends up being Bubber.  Fuck you, Eric.  Nick Patrick is the ref, the first time he's been a ref since WW3.  No ski mask or neck brace.  Fuck this match.  Fuck Konnan.  Fuck Eric Bischoff.  Nick Patrick is more blatant than ever with his nWo affiliation, which is still unofficial at this point.  He lets Bubber cheat constantly during the match.  Konnan is disqualified for throwing Bubber over the top rope.  Bubber saved Patrick from a beat down after the match.

Dean Malenko vs Steven Regal WCW Television Championship

 If TMF beats Regal and then beats Ultimo at Starrcade, he'll have TEN titles all at once.  After some mat stuff, Regal hits a LOUD enzuigiri.  Sonny OhNo comes out with his camera and gets sent to the back.  There are some loud sounding strikes in this.  SPLAT and THUD.  Shit is like an Adam West Batman show in my mind.  I reallythought Regal was going to move up the card in the early summer when he had that feud and PPV match with Sting.  It felt like he was being elevated to the next level, but then nothing really happened and he was mostly off TV for the next few weeks/months.  He won the TV title on Saturday Night and it wasn't even mentioned on Nitro for over a month.  TV Championship matches used to have 15 minute time limits.  Now it is 10 minutes.  It seems they are nearing it since Tenay mentioned it at all.  And then the bell rings.  Time limit draw.  Title retained, even though Regal was down and out after a brainbuster.  

Rick Steiner vs Jeff Jarrett

Jeff will now face Benoit at Starrcade.  Why isn't Benoit facing Sullivan at Starrcade?  A loud WE WANT STING chant starts up.  Both men have been targets of Sting, but both men have shit talked Sting first.  Rick is running around the ring squealing like Cactus Jack for some reason.  nWo Sting comes to the ring.  He puts Jeff in the Scorpion Death Drop.  Rick knocks him on his ass.  Jeff pins fake Sting for the win.  What?  Whatever.  The WE WANT STING chants come back louder than before as Jeff and Rick take some shots at the fake one on the mat.

Hollywood Hogan comes to the ring by himself.  Hogan can STICK it, brother.  The bag pipes start up.  MY GOD.  It's Rodney The Piper!  No.  It's just Eric Bischoff in a kilt and Hulkamania shirt.  SWERVE.  Bischoff does a Piper imitation promo.  It's pretty accurate.  Wrestlemania name drop.  Voice and inflection wise, it is more Richard Nixon than Roddy Piper, though.  Content wise, it is every Piper promo from 1995-2014.  The match is going to happen right now!  Nick Patrick comes out.  Eric Piper lays down and Nick Patrick counts the pin.  Guess we don't need to buy Starrcade now.  As this is going on, real bag pipers come out.  IT'S THE REAL RODNEY THE PIPER!  WHAT A MOMENT!  The fight starts and then the nWo hits the ring.  Sting watches from the rafters.  Security hits the ring.  WE'RE OUTTA TIME!  SEE YOU AT STARRCADE!

Announced card for Starrcade:

  • Ultimo Dragon vs That Motherfucker Dean Malenko WCW Cruiserweight Championship/J-Crown Championship Unification Bout
  • Akira Hokuto vs Madusa WCW Women's Championship
  • Jushin Liger vs Rey Mysterio Jr
  • Jeff Jarrett vs Chris Benoit
  • The Outsiders vs Faces of Fear WCW Tag Team Championships
  • Eddie Guerrero vs DDP WCW US Championship
  • Lex Luger vs The Giant
  • Hollywood Hogan vs Roddy Piper

Besides Piper/Hogan and maybe Lex/Giant, this looks to be a pretty dope Starrcade.  Last year's was a pretty great show.  Hopefully this year can deliver.

WCW Monday Nitro 12/16/96

Eric, Ted, and Virgil interrupt the opening to come to the announce booth.  Larry says it would take all of the nWo to make him leave... but then he leaves.  Because he "doesn't need this".  I think the real reason is that, despite how much he talks about masculinity and being a REAL MAN, he's a giant coward.

Psychosis vs Steven Regal WCW Television Championship

Bischoff claims that the nWo is going to start a "Dinosty".  Also, Sting will be here tonight.  Then he says NJPW will become the minor leagues for the nWo.  Crowd is really supported of Hypno.  Or maybe they really hate Regal.  A smattering of USA chants start up.  Arm work from both guys.  Regal must be on speed or something.  Dude is DRENCHED in sweat after the break.  A koppo kick sends Regal to the floor.  Big tope.  He then ends up superbombing himself trying a super rana.  Didn't seem to bother him too much, as he hits the guillotine leg drop moments later.  Regal then crushes him with a German suplex.  This is kind of weird.  Hypno seems injured and Regal seems so sweaty and exhausted.  Hypno fights out of a butterfly superplex and hits a Superfly Splash for 2.  Super kick!  OUTTA NOWHERE.  Regal drops out of a victory roll and applies the Regal Stretch for the hard earned win.  Title retained.

Big Bubber vs Chavo Guerrero Jr

I wonder when Chavo is going to get his own music.  He and Hector use Eddie's music.  When is Chavo Classic coming in to face Benoit?  What about Mondo?  Chavo with the FLYING ASSHOLE!  Chavo goes down to the Bubber Slam.

TO THE MEAN GENE.  Sonny Ono and Masahiro Chono are the guests.  Ted and Eric blow it that Chono is a a member of the nWo, but Sonny doesn't know it.  As Sonny is talking about NJPW, Chono unzips his coat to reveal an nWo shirt.  Chono then tries to rip Sonny's NJ shirt and throws him to the ground.

Masahiro Chono vs Chris Jericho

The nWo has gone international!  I hope Chono kicks Jericho's face off.  Jericho's tights look half finished.  The tights and design are the same color.  Yakuza kick!  God, Eric and Ted are terrible.  Ball buster!  Jeeeeezus Christ. Bischoff does an impression of Chono calling him in the most offensive Japanese voice.  Bischoff buries Inoki and McMahon.  And Survivor Series.  Jericho hits a...flying back slap?  I think he was trying a top rope back elbow and nothing happened.  Chono absorbs a lariato.  Some weak ass Canadian thinks he can throw lariatos against a dude from the land of the lariatooooo?  Jericho gets died up in the ropes.  Chono beats on him and it seems both men are counted out.  Or Chono was disqualified. DQ.  

TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE.  The Three Horsemen.  No Benoit, again.  Arn says that the kiss of a beautiful woman has ruined many a man.  He also says he's going to mend Sullivan's broke heart with a broken body.  Debra talks about herself and calls Benoit a little boy repeatedly.  Flair's voice randomly just dies.

Dave Sammartino vs That Motherfucker Dean Malenko WCW Cruiserweight Champion

Wtf, Bruno's son?  He's lost a lot of mass since his brief WWF run and is about definition over mass now.  His wrestling skills stayed the same, though.  Which is to say, not good.  Dean gets the win with a weird and questionable roll up that I don't think was supposed to end the match, but it did.  Dean takes his title and immediately storms to the back.  


Bischoff wants to watch the rest of the show and brings Tony, Brain, and Tenay back to handle the show.  

Jerry Flynn vs Ice Train

Oh my god.  Flynn looks AWFUL.  Worse than ever.  His mullet is fluffy and he's so out of shape.  Holy shit.  He gets drilled with a lariatoooo and bails.  He should bail on life looking like that.  SMOOV dances so much for no reason.  Like his standing style in a Smackdown game is capoeira.  The nWo is going to have their own PPV in January.  SMOOV wins with a terrible ankle lock.  

Syxx brings out The Outsiders.  Man, I hope someone knocks the dog shit out of Syxx soon.  2SWEET.  They decide they'll take on the Faces of Fear tonight instead of waiting for Starrcade.  Hall does a Tommy Rich impression.  

Sting video.

Bobby Eaton vs Rey Mysterio Jr

Bobby just punches that little dude in the mouth.  This is ugly.  Eek.  The styles clash is too much.  Rey wins with a double jump super rana.

TO THE VIDEO TAPE.  Woman and Benoit sent in a tape of them drinking wine and talking about their world travels.  "What's it like coming home to an empty house at night, Kevin?"  

Kevin Sullivan vs Arn Anderson

In theory, this angle has been going on since last December.  They immediately brawl on the floor, with Sullivan biting his way out of a DDT and then Sabuing a chair at Arn.  Into the crowd we go.  In the ring, a ref bump.  Double stomp.  Tree of Keanu is blocked with a punch to the dick.  Hugh Morrus runs in and right into a DDT.  Konnan comes in and is knocked on his ass.  Jimmy Hart gets dumped into the ring.  Sullivan uses a wooden chair.  The ref counts the pin.  Somehow he's been dead this whole time until the pin.  Sullivan wins.  Mongo calmly comes out a little too fucking late.

Rick Steiner vs Sting

Wait a minute.  There are two Stings.  One has a bat.  The real Sting reveals a bat OUTTA NOWHERE.  Sting gives the Steiners both bats and then lays out nWo Sting.  Rick gives a bat back to the real Sting.  Then he goes back into the crowd.

Hogan, Giant, Liz, Virgil, and Ted come to the ring.  It's so weird that there are clearly defined groups within the nWo already.  Everyone knows Piper is here, so Hulk calls him out.  He then just rambles about shit for what feels like 9 hours.

The Outsiders vs Faces of Fear

I'm not sure if this is a title match since the Outsiders didn't come out with them.  I was kind of spaced out after the Hogan promo.  Tony lets me know it is indeed non-title.  Thanks, Tony!  Hall hits a big lariatooooo on Meng.  Nash hits a big boot on Barb.  Big Bubber hits the ring.  He attacks Meng!  MY GOD.  BIG BUBBER HAS JOINED THE NWO!  Sullivan and Konnan run down and get taken out.  In comes Hugh.  HERE COMES THE GIANT.  And the rest of the nWo.  THINGS ARE OUT OF CONTROL.  The rest of the roster.  MY GOD.  THE BATTLE LINES HAVE BEEN DRAWN!  Norton attacks SMOOV.  and then members of WCW.  MY GOD.  MY GOD.  Sting comes out.  Arn attacks him.  He drops Arn.  Mongo attacks him.  Sting drops him.  Rey jumps on his back.  He throws Rey off and leaves the ring.  WE'RE OUTTA TIME.

WCW will never fucking learn.  Sting SHOULD have joined the nWo.  Fucking idiots.  Every time he comes to bail them out, someone has to shit talk him or attack him.  The Steiners knew what was up.  It was pretty clear Sting wasn't in the nWo from the segment before the big brawl.  Yet he hits the ring and WCW guys attack him.  Fucking pricks.


Members of the nWo so far:

  • Hollywood Hogan
  • Scott Hall
  • Kevin Nash
  • Ted Dibiase
  • Vincent
  • Syxx
  • The Giant
  • Liz
  • Nasty Nick
  • Some Bengals players
  • IRS
  • Big Boss Man
  • Masahiro Chono
  • Scott Norton
  • Eric Bischoff
  • Buff Bagwell
  • Fake Sting
  • AC Green
  • Kyle Petty


Stro12/16/96 1 Comment
WCW Monday Nitro 12/9/96

My goodness.  It's RODNEY THE PIPER!  He's here!  He's in the ring!  WHAT A MOMENT!  Of course, this is home to him.  Because EVERY fucking city is home to him.  He jumps around on one leg to prove his hip is fine.  Oh, it sounds like he's gonna SHOOT!  Larry takes his head set off to cough, but coughs right into Tony's head set.  He talks about his 6 kids and a HOGAN SUCKS chant starts up.  Piper's own kid said that he only has one leg and Hulk is younger.  Now we're talking about Mr. T and "they" wanted him to take a dive.  It is his most shameful moment in wrestling.  It wasn't Vince who told him to take the dive, though.  Someone you would never expect.  Homophobic insults towards the nWo and a particular nWo fan in the crowd.  He then challenges Hulk to have the match tonight.  Then he walks to the back.  Piper's greatest hits: SHOOTing, cheap hometown pop, Mr. T, icon.

Mike Enos vs M. Wallstreet

JHV version of Love in an Elevator seems really out of place for a guy with a Wallstreet/businessman gimmick.  Ted DiBiase walks to ringside.  He has contracts with him.  Enos gets distracted and hit with the Samoan drop.  IRS wins.  Ted gives the contract to IRS.  MONEY INC. HAS REUNITED!  WHAT A MOMENT!  

TO SATURDAY NIGHT.  Woman sent in a home video with Chris Benoit to Sullivan.  She's in hiding with him and lied where she would be.  She talks about feminism and 1996 and stuff.  Benoit says, "My bishop takes your queen.  Checkmate."  That's harsh.  Sullivan was legit shook.  

Hugh Morrus vs The Renegade

A lot of guys are on tour in Germany tonight, including Benoit.  Fucking RICK.  Hugh.  This fat laughing fuck is the guy most trusted to train the future of WWE.  What in the fuck.  He wins with the moonsault.  What's so funny, you fat fuck?

Kevin Sullivan comes out and confronts Tony.  He's pissed that Tony aired that video.  He knows it is all about DA RATINGS.  That tape wasn't sent to WCW, it was sent to Sullivan.  He's hot that the tape got shown without asking him.  He seems to think that Tony is the producer and chooses what airs and when.  He has a personal life and showing that video had an impact on people outside of wrestling.

A Sting video airs.  It's very 90s.  

TO THE MEAN GENE.  My god, it's KEVIN GREENE!  WHAT A MOMENT!  He says a bunch of stupid shit, including renaming Hulk, "Chokin' Hogan" because Hulk will be choking on his fist.

Jimmy Grafitti vs Dean Malenko WCW Cruiserweight Championship

What a stupid gimmick JDR has.  It's not like he spray paints things or gets ANY character time anyway.  He's just a dude who wears air brushed shirts and jean shorts and sometimes has paint on his hands.  Sonny Onoo again makes his way out with his camera.  Someone has a live wire buzzing.  God damn it.  Fix that shit.  IWA MS level shit.  TMF wins with a small package out of a suplex.  Title retained.  Nothing to mention, much like the whole of the show so far.

TO THE MEAN GENE.  Sonny Onoo says some shit, smiles a lot, and flashes Gene.  Sonny gets caught dropping his accent.  LOL he drops it completely and says he puts it on because with it he gets free shit from the government.  

Recap of the triangle match from WW3.  

Nasty Boys vs Faces of Fear

God damn this show.  I'm pretty positive I"m going to get Konnan and Duggan in matches later on.  Hopefully Knobs gets FUCKED up.  He's paired up with Barb to start, and Barb normally fucks dudes up more than Meng, so I approve.  Shortly into the match, the Outsiders come out to watch from the stage.  I'm sad to say that Knobs didn't get his ass beat.  But Sags did.  Jimmy came off the top with the mega phone and accidentally hit Barb.  God, can you imagine Barb vs Jimmy Hart?  Knobs COMPLETELY recklessly throws Jimmy over the top rope.  Barb used the mega phone and got the win.   

TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE.  Ric Flair, in his home town.  WHAT A MOMENT!  Ric then brings Piper back out.  WHAT A MOMENT!  God, Piper's "aw shucks" bullshit is really getting on my nerves.  Ric gives a history lesson, including why they call Piper, "Hot Rod".  Because of his dick.  They just blow each other for a while and then Piper says this is his last shot and he's not going to lose it.


Fuck, and hour two starts with a recap of hour one.  Including the Piper promo at the start.  I JUST HEARD THIS SHITHEEL RAMBLE.  

Bobby Eaton vs Chris Jericho

GOD DAMN THAT ENTRANCE MUSIC IS SO BAD.  The lamest shit.  It would fit in well with the Jericho of 2014, though.  Apple juice in a whiskey bottle drinking son of a bitch.  Yo, Bobby starts off hot with a hard lariato and top rope knee drop.  Jericho had a quite lame PIP promo on Nick Patrick during this.  Lionsault gets a 2 count.  Bobby misses the Alabama Jam.  Jericho gets the win with a missile dropkick.  

TO THE MEAN GENE.  The Steiners are the guests.  The topic is Sting.  They're waiting for a message from him.

Lex Luger putting big dudes in the torture rack video.  

Sgt. Craig Pittman vs Arn Anderson

Pittman appears to have turned heel again.  He's back to wearing black, looks very angry and surly, and grew a mustache.  And he's facing Arn in Charlotte, so he's definitely the heel in this by default.  Sullivan had a PIP promo and blames this whole thing with Benoit on Arn.  He brings up Arn's wife and kid, and I believe he has challenged Arn to a match next week.  Arn has adopted some of Flair's spots while Flair is hurt.  Mongo interferes in a way that there was zero change the ref didn't see.  Arn wins with the DDT.

TO THE MEAN GENE.  Arn, Mongo, and Debra are the guests.  They wonder where Woman is.  She's with Benoit in Germany.  Obviously.  Why wouldn't she be?  She's his manager and is doing Horsemen work with him abroad.  Debra really hates Nancy.

DDP vs Jeff Jarrett

Think of all those main events in 2000.  And that one in TNA in 2005.  This is their first match.  These guys are going to out cunt each other.  It settles down after we find out they're both cunts and Jeff appears to be the better wrestler.  This started out fun but has really slowed down.  Discuss this lariatooooooooooooo.  Then a flying one.  I didn't even realize this is a US Championship tournament match.  There have been no brackets or anything.  DDP is dumped to the floor.  The Outsiders run out.  Nash distracts the ref.  Hall hits the Outsider's Edge, retaliation for Royal Rumble 1995, no doubt.  DDP rolls in and gets the pin.

TO THE MEAN SCUM GENE.  Gene wonders how this keeps happening and how DDP can claim he isn't with the nWo.  DDP doesn't need the nWo because he has the hottest finish on the planet.  Lol, this dude is a fucking mark for himself.  He's bringing up PWI awards and talking about how hot his finish is.  SELF HIGH FIVE.  What a wiener. 

Rick Steiner is supposed to come out, but Roddy Piper comes out instead.  Please don't tell me this show has THREE Piper promos.  He brings a chair to the ring and won't leave until Hulk comes out.  Bischoff comes out instead.  By the time Eric gets to the ring, he his jacket and hair are soaked because people were throwing so much shit at him the camera cut away from it.  Bischoff shit talks and calls Piper a gimp.  Piper punches him in the back of the head.  Then he steps on his neck and kicks him.  The nWo comes out.  Piper holds them off with a chair.  Kevin Greene hits the ring for back up.  Fans are eating this shit up, though.  I don't get it.  WE'RE OUTTA TIME!  Luckily, we also get after the show exclusive footage which showed Arn, Mongo, Greene, and Piper fighting off the nWo.  That's right, Kevin Greene and Mongo fighting together.  Even though Greene cut a promo on Mongo earlier in the show and has an apparent blood feud with him.  But then Greene leave the ring when he realizes he's fighting with Mongo, so I guess there is some continuity.  

Not the best of shows.  All the talent exchange that brought in so many dope dudes also hurt WCW at times when their own dope dudes would be working somewhere else.  It was really hard on this show, at a time when Sting isn't wrestling (and wasn't even on the show), Macho is taking time off, the nWo only wrestle on PPV, Flair is injured, and Scott Steiner is injured.  So what you had was a show without any of them, and it was missing Eddie/Benoit/Rey, Harlem Heat, Lex, and all luchadors.  I was happy to not get a Konnan or Duggan match, but in return I got THREE Piper promos.  Get that shit out of here.  Already sick of him.  All of his promos are the same.  He comes out doing his aw, shucks, for me? routine.  Then he does a cheap local reference.  Then he talks about how he's going to give it to you straight.  Mentions Mr. T or Wrestlemania or WWF glory days in general.  Sick of that shit.  That match is going to be so bad.

WCW Monday Nitro 12/2/96

I like that the Nitro opening hasn't been updated at all in over a year.  Still Hulkamania Hulk dropping legs and flat top Stinger splashing fools.

As the show starts, the Steiner Brothers interrupt Larry and Tony to call out Sting.  

Glacier vs Hardbody Harrison

Shit, I forgot Glacier even existed.  HBH sounds like a stripper name.  The bright pink gear doesn't help.  Swinging back leg front Soviet Odessa spin kick for the quick win.

Joe Gomez/Renegade vs Amazing French Canadians

Joe and Rick might have the first mash up entrance theme in wrestling.  Tickets to Starrcade go on sale THIS WEEK.  They were supposed to go on sale last week, but Ticket Master botched it.  Still, imagine WWE not even offering tickets to WM until March.  Parker low bridges Gomez, who takes a terrible fall.  Renegade gets a hot tag.  It doesn't last long.  Mounties win with the cannon ball.  

TO THE MEAN GENE.  Arn is the guest.  He's out there to talk about...Roddy Piper vs Hulk Hogan.  Lol, they have other wrestlers doing the promo work for this feud since Hulk and Piper can't be bothered to make every show.

Faces of Fear vs Robert Gibson/Scotty Riggs

The Rock N Males?  American Express?  We get the dreaded split screen to show the whole nWo beat down that ended the show last week.  Maybe this will be the time when Barb knocks Gibson's eye straight.  I guess I can settle for him powerbombing the shit out of Riggs.  When Gibson gets a hot tag, he tries a sun set flip and ends up giving himself a Samoan drop.  Then he walked into a BIG BOOT.  Knocked the goofy eye straight!  Riggs attacked the FoF with a chair after the match.

TO THE SATURDAY NIGHT.  Actually 2 Saturday nights ago.  This is footage from the Benoit/Sullivan house show match that went all over the arena and ended with Benoit getting ambushed by the DoD in the bath room.  Woman ended up attacking Sullivan during the fight.  

Kevin Sullivan vs ???

This guy didn't get an entrance or named at all.  He resembles early 90s Flyin Bryan, though.  Sullivan mauls him.  

TO THE MEAN GENE.  Sullivan says he thought he was the best chess player, but Benoit out played him on an emotional level.  The equation is now 3.  Why the fuck won't they just explain this angle?  This is some Russo shit running a months long angle of cryptic promos that only 5% of the audience knows anything about.

Billy Kidman vs Dean Malenko WCW Cruiserweight Championship

The cruiserweight champion at the time of Starrcade will face Ultimo Dragon in a unification match.  Kidman is the 3rd Barone brother.  Kidman tries a pescado.  He misses, but lands on his feet.  TMF powerbombs him on the floor for it.  Sonny Ono comes out to take picture, because 'cism.  Stalling jumping brainbustaaaaa.  Kidman is pretty game.  TMF goes up top.  The flash from the camera distracts him and he slips off the ropes.  Kidman goes for the SSP, but TMF gets his knees up and applies the Texas cloverleaf for the win.  Title retained.

Big Bubber vs Jeff Jarrett

Didn't we just get this match in the last month?  Bubber accidentally punched Jimmy.  Jimmy throws the mega phone into the ring.  Bubber missed it.  By the time he got it, he missed Jeff.  Jeff dropkicks it into his face.  Wait, isn't that the same fucking finish as their last match within the last 30 days?  

The Steiners come to the ring and again call out Sting.  Sting makes an appearance at the top of the arena.  He seems to accept the challenge for later tonight.

The nWo comes to the ring.  Minus Hogan.  And Ted.  And Giant.  Then they chance direction and take over the booth.  Oh no, Bischoff back in the booth.  He claims that he didn't want to bring Piper in to save him, so he wouldn't end up like that fatty Vader (with burying footage), Flair (with burying footage), and Macho (with burying footage).  

David Taylor vs Eddie Guerrero

It seems the nWo is scouting.  They put over both guys and then talk about their international expansion, which ends on a long discussion on sushi.  Eddie gets a quick win with the frog splash.  This was a tournament match it seems.

"Cue the porno music."  "You look like a dirt bag."  

Lee Marshall SHOOTS on Bischoff, calling him PAL a few times.  Lol, this is so stupid how he weaves in shilling tickets and 1800 Collect while trying to be angry and shit talking to the nWo.

Arn Anderson vs Jim Powers

Lol wtf Teddy gets up into the camera to yell "WEST SIIIIIIIIIDE".  Hall and Nash actually put Arn over huge as well.  But then Hall shits all over Larry.  It was wonderful.  Then they make fun of the muscled up dude that follows Piper around, call that guy his rat, and then call him Piper's Bruti.  Arn wins with the DDT.  

Chris Benoit vs Steven Regal

Benoit is put over even harder than Eddie, with Eric saying he's a first round draft choice and how much he likes him.  Tournament match.  I will assume there will be at least 2 headbutts.  3 headbutts!  Regal is nasty.  Also busted open from the headbutts.  The match has to go to wide shot due to the blood, which Hall wonders about.  It's kind of weird to have a match on hard cam zoomed out.  No angles.  It's like watching from the crowd. Benoit wins with a dragon suplex.  Hall gets pissy over the wide shot and demands for them to change the angle or else.

TO THE MEAN GENE.  The Horsemen are the guests.  The Horsemen are going to be backing Piper next week in Charlotte.  Woman is nowhere to be found, which Arn takes offense to.  Mongo talks about how the Bears were supposed to be a dynasty, but egos and dissension ruined it.  Debra then takes over and shits all over Nancy.  

Rocco Rock vs Lex Luger

Rock actually dominates for most of the match.  How weird.  Also weird was only Grunge being in WW3.  Lex wins with the torture rack.

Rick Steiner vs Sting

Sting comes out of the crowd with his bat to no music.  Then he turns his back to Rick, who takes the opportunity to attack.  Sting quickly hits the Scorpion Death Drop.  He then shoves Rick with the bat and hands it to him before turning his back.  Rick was going to hit him.  Scott wouldn't let him.  Sting walks away.  He walks up towards the announce booth and points his bat at the nWo, then heads back out through the crowd.  The whole last hour has had Hall, Nash, and Bischoff saying Sting has joined the nWo. 


This was a strange show.  The nWo takes over for the second hour, yet spend the whole time putting dudes over huge, faces and heels alike.  Hogan and Piper will only do 2 shows a month it seems, so they send Arn Anderson out to do the promo work for the angle.  That's such a WCW thing to do.

WCW Monday Nitro 11/25/96

The nWo not only has the world title, but they also won World War 3, and have the executive producer of WCW.  Piper vs Hogan has been signed for Starrcade.  A tournament to determine a new US Champion will begin tonight.  

Arn Anderson vs Lex Luger

This is a tournament match.  This is Arn's first real match in a month.  His ribs are still taped up from their last match a month ago.  Lex is over as fuck here.  Far more over than he ever was in the WWF.  Instead of going for the injured ribs, Lex seems to put his focus on Arn's left arm.  Arn is a leftie.  Tony again gets up in Larry's shit for not backing him up.  Larry is a bitch.  A bitch ass ho.  FUCK YOU LARRY.  Old whiny cunt.  Your Hawaiian shirts are dog shit.  Lex has been doing some good work in the last few months.  Ring wise, his best work was before 1992, but character wise his best run was the first Nitro through mid 1997 or so.  Giant comes out in the crowd to warble garble and claims he is the US champion.  This is quite a long match.  Lex puts Arn in the torture rack on the floor.  Both men are counted out.  Lex wouldn't let go and didn't seem to give a shit.  Pretty good match, especially for Lex.  Both men are eliminated from the tournament.

Eric Bischoff leads the nWo to the ring.  Minus Hogan and Ted.  Lol, Bischoff's mic doesn't work.  The most powerful dude in the company and his mic doesn't work.  Bischoff explains why he did what he did.  After the jackknife through the stage, he decided it would be way better to join and have all DA POWER.  He gives the roster a 30 day window to convert their WCW contracts to nWo contracts.  The American Males come out.  Buff joins the nWo!  Riggs doesn't and Buff lays him out.  That was pretty anti-climactic.

DDP vs Disco Inferno

Disco hasn't been on Nitro for a long time.  Happy to see him back.  DDP attacks while he's dancing.  DICK.  Diamond Dallas SCUM.  DDP wrecks Disco until Disco can takes it no more.  Then he danced.  DDP is knocking the shit out of Disco in this.  Float over Kanyon Cutter OUTTA NOWHERE!  BANG!  DDP wins.

TO THE MEAN GENE.  DDP explains why the nWo wants him so bad: They're trying to build a dynasty and what better way than to get the guy with the B A DOUBLE D baddest finish on the planet.  Gene tries to stir the shit.  DDP is friends with Hall, Nash, and Bischoff.  Those are #FACTS.  "I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then."

Tony Pena vs Steven Regal WCW Television Championship

Holy shit Tony Pena's music is FUCKING DOPE.  So god damn funky.  It's wonderful.  Regal is the only heavyweight champion left in WCW.  The US is vacant, cruiser is cruiser, and world/tag team belts are with the nWo.  Wait a minute.  I think this is a Villano without a mask.  Is this Villano IV?  Yo, Regal is MEAN.  This is "work snug as shit night" apparently. Regal Stretch for the win.  Title retained.  

TO THE MEAN GENE.  Rick Steiner is the guest.  Rick has been in Japan lately.  He makes it clear that the Steiners are 110% WCW.  

THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY THE NEW WORLD ORDER.  The Outsiders have their own shirts now.  You can get one for $20 or two for $40.

Konnan vs Eddie Guerrero

Tournament match.  Eddie starts off in a hurry, knocking Konnan to the floor and hitting a huge dive.


Bischoff no longer being an announcer is a great development.  I think Konnan is wearing bowling shows.  Is that a cholo thing?  Mother fucker, you're Cuban.  You weren't growing up in the barrio in East LA you piece of shit.  I don't know if I've mentioned it lately but FUCK KONNAN.  Eddie does the 10 punches in the corner spot and fucking DRILLS Konnan in the base of the neck on every shot.  It was wonderful.  Konann loses after pulling off of Eddie and trying a powerbomb, which Eddie sort of countered.

Big Bubber vs Rick Steiner

Rick has some harsh words for Sting during his entrance.  Sting walks down from the audience during the match.  With Bubber on the floor, Sting enters the ring and drops Rick with the Scorpion Death Drop.  Bubber gets the pin.  You'd think that after Jeff got laid out twice for shit talking Sting that people would keep his name out of their mouths.  

Psychosis vs Rey Mysterio Jr

Ultimo comes out to watch the match.  Flapjack Norton from Hypno.  He then tries the reverse powerbomb hot shot that Ultimo did to Rey the night before and over shoots, so Rey falls to the floor.  Guillotine leg drop mofos.  God damn, Hypno did a STIFF punch to the kidney/low rib area.  Rey wins after countering an avalanche splash mountain with a rana.  Really short.  I think Rey got hurt on the powerbomb hot shot thing. 

TO THE MEAN GENE.  Benoit and Woman are the guests.  Sullivan only made his problem worse.  This is actually a pretty good Benoit promo.  Woman seems to officially end her relationship with Sullivan.

The whole Piper/Hogan contract signing is played.  THE WHOLE THING.  What a waste of TV time.  

Alex Wright vs Jeff Jarrett

Jeff's arms are so fucking oily.  WTF man.  Alex hasn't been on Nitro in a long time, much like Disco.  He tries a weird kick in the corner, misses, and submits to the figure four.  

Faces of Fear vs Harlem Heat

After how stiff every match has been tonight, I fear that one of Harlem Heat is going to be injured by a Barb kick.  Stevie throws a boot the shakes Meng up.  I don't think I've ever seen Meng rocked.  Back drop powerbomb to BOOKER T.  Booker is a big fucking dude to be doing that to.  The match gets out of control and then the nWo attacks both teams.  WE'RE OUTTA TIME!  

 This was kind of a weird show.  WAY too much time was devoted to recapping shit from WW3, including playing the entire contract signing.  Everyone seemed to be working very aggressively and snug.   Buff's entrance into the nWo was so goofy.  Bischoff makes the ultimatum and he comes right out and is in.  That's it.   But now the flood gates have been opened.  If you thought it jumped the shark by having Virgil join the group, just wait.  Now, everyone in WCW is eligible, no matter how insignificant. 

WCW Monday Nitro 11/18/96

We are a 6 days away from World War 3.  The show opens with a host of wrestlers down in the ring, Hall and Nash standing over them with chairs.  They then take over the ring side announce booth, where Nash drops Goodfellas references.  Nash mentions Tony's bad neck and asks him if he wants to pick up his kids again.  Hall says he's been hearing about how scary the Faces of Fear are for his whole career, and he isn't scared.  They welcome the FoF and a triangle match.  They head to the back to find the FoF.  Tony was pretty pissed that Larry didn't do anything to help him.  

TO THE BACK.  The FoF were waiting and ambush the Outsiders!  We fight on Monday night, Maggle!  

We're then shown what happened.  During the "dark match" between Nasty Boys, High Voltage, and Ciclope/Galaxy, the Outsiders attacked.  The actual attacks weren't shown, just the audio over a freeze frame.  Tony again gets in Larry's shit for not helping.  Tony doesn't need this SHIT and he leaves the show to big mouth Larry.  About time someone called Larry out.  He's been running his mouth about the nWo for months, but when they come out, he doesn't do shit and lets them pick on the smaller, non-ex wrestler announcers.

La Parka vs Juventud Guerrera

LA PARKA!  He is wearing a belt with a giant Batman logo belt buckle.  I can't wait to see what kind of shitty things Larry is going to say about Mexicans during this now that he's on his own.  Juvi starts the match on the top rope.  Mike Tenay comes out to fill in for Tony.  Gross.  La Parka does a spinarooni OUTTA NOWHERE.  Mike is very winded having just walked to the ring at a kind of brisk pace.  La Parka hits the first dive of the match.  Juvi hits a spring board super rana.  He then hits an in ring Asai moonsault and drills Parka in the head with a knee.  A distinct lack of dancing so far.  Distressing lack, really.  Romero Special.  A weird version where he holds Juvi up just by his legs.  There is talk that Piper may make an appearance here tonight.  Another springboard rana.  PLEASE START DANCING.  Piper was apparently a guest at the Cable ACE awards.  Turner going all the way with his carny shit.  The match just falls apart.  I don't know what happened.  I think La Parka got discombobulated after missing a senton and from that point on, everything was awkward and messy as shit.  La Parka gets the win with a corkscrew moonsault.  The lack of dancing breaks my heart.

Hype video on Ultimo Dragon.  He has 8 titles in the J Crown and will get a chance to add a 9th tonight.

Ultimo Dragon vs Dean Malenko WCW Cruiserweight Championship

Look, name plates are still saying Ultimate, but Tenay calls him Ultimo, so I'm sticking with that.   Somewhere in the pile of belts is the WWF Light Heavyweight Championship that hadn't been defended in the US since the early 80s.  PIP promo from Rey asks for a title shot at Dean.  Ultimo's speed is giving TMF some trouble.  Some pretty dope counter wrestling here.  Dragon misses a moonsault.  Dean takes some time to attempt the Cloverleaf.  Sonny gets on the apron and knocked into the ring.  Dragon gets back dropped over the top rope, which is a disqualification only when you want a bullshit finish.  Dragon wins, but TMF retains the title.

Recap of the Mounties/Harlem Heat stuff.  The Sherri/Parker thing has been going on coming up on 2 years.  Fuck.

Amazing French Canadians vs American Males

Parker now dresses as a Legionnaire.  CARL and Buff begin the match.  You have to imagine the Mounties will win since they have a PPV match and the Males don't.  This on top of the Males having their problems over the past few weeks.  Mountie can still do kip ups.  He's pretty proud of it.  Buff randomly gets in the ring and the Males run into each other.  I have to blame Buff for that.  He had no reason to be getting in the ring.  Riggs is out of position for the slam CARL on you spot, but Mountie does it anyway because he's a piece of shit like that.  Buff gets the hot tag and STUFFS UP.  Riggs drills Mountie in the back, who goes flying into Buff.  Which causes the Males to lose.  "Viva la Mexico", says Parker.  

Lex Luger vs Hugh Morrus

Excuse me, "Lex Lunar".  Tenay, you suck.  I don't know that I'll ever get over that this fat fuck Hugh became the head trainer for WWE.  The head trainer when they've had Ricky Steamboat, Barry Windham, Arn Anderson, Norman Smiley, William Regal, Finlay, and Dean Malenko all on the pay roll at one time or another.  But this is the one they pick to head their developmental program?  Lex wins with the shittiest looking torture rack.  I think he had it on for less than 3 seconds before Hugh gave up, and then he dropped it because he didn't have it on well anyway.

TO THE MEAN GENE.  As Lex talks, STING comes to the ring, with a baseball bat.  He gives Lex a hail mary on his chest, shoves him with the bat, and then hands the bat to Lex before leaving.  Well, that was weird.  Oddly sensual as well.

No hour two ballyhoo.  Instead, Hogan/Virgil/Ted/Liz come to the announce booth.  Brain bails.  Hulk is there to set the record straight.  He forces Piper to say that Hogan is a bigger star and icon than Piper.  And that Piper is scared of Hogan and wouldn't dare show his face.  And that Hulk is 100 times richer than Piper.  

TO THE MEAN GENE.  DDP is his guest.  DDP is so trashy.  Fanny pack (which actually are pretty dope, but seems stupid to make it a fashion statement), gold chain, mullet, skull t-shirts.  He talks about Hall and Nash, which brings the rest of the nWo to the interview.  Giant wants to punk DDP out.  Giant and DDP just don't know.  They don't know.  Hall knows.  Nash knows.  Syxx knows.  Nash drops a 2001 reference.  Something very beautiful will happen tonight.

Bobby Eaton vs Jeff Jarrett

Bischoff explains why the nWo is allowed to talk so much on TV: If they censor the nWo, people will just want to hear them more.  I wonder if Jeff will have something to say about Sting tonight.  He better win this match, otherwise he won't get any promo time.  As Jeff goes for the figure four, the crowd erupts.  It's Ric Flair!  Jeff wins.  Look at that wonderful Cosby Sweater.  

TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE.  Jeff has been calling for WCW to unite and Flair being by his side is exactly what he's talking about.  He doesn't want to talk about Sting or any dissension in WCW.  He's going to chop The Giant down once again at WW3.  Ric says that Jeff is good to go.  Sting watches from somewhere at the top of the building.  He doesn't seem impressed.  Ric says that Benoit and Mongo better recognize that Jarret is IN.

Big Bubber vs Jim Powers

No Teddy Long or Nick Patrick this week.  Not sure what the point is without that angle being pushed.  Bubber Slam for the win.  

Chris Benoit vs Eddie Guerrero

Dope.  Eddie very serious tonight.  He walks straight to the ring and shoves Benoit.  Shit is on, friends.  Benoit goes for the Iron Crossface early.  Eddie got to the ropes.  Sullivan had another PIP promo, talking about the bad history he has in Baltimore.  Huge uppercut rocks Benoit.  They're going to have their big match on Saturday Night?  Not even Nitro?  Really?  Benoit goes for some arm work.  He did a kimura and modified Rings of Saturn during this.  Eddie luckily avoids the powerbomb of doom and things break down into punches, chops, and eye pokes.  Superplex.  Woman stands in the way of Benoit and won't let Eddie hit him.  She tries to slap him.  Benoit rolls through a rana to get the win OUTTA NOWHERE.  

TO THE BISCHOFF.  Bischoff heads to the ring because he has something he has to say.  He apologizes for what Hogan made him do earlier.  WCW is doing everything int its power to get Piper vs Hogan signed.  As he's talking, the bag pipes start up.  It's RODNEY THE PIPER!  Bischoff is legit shook! Why are you so nervous, Bischoff?  Piper has been hearing a lot of lies, and he is here to tell some truths.  He starts talking about LL Cool J and then calls Bischoff a LIAR.  As Piper gets all up in Bischoff's face, including clearly calling him a piece of shit on the mic with no censoring, the nWo hits the ring.  Bischoff and Hogan hug.  MY GOD. Eric Bischoff works for the nWo!  Police officers are in the ring as trash is being thrown in, while Hulk shit talks Piper.  Hulk takes his weight belt off and Piper tries to break free, causing the rest of the police force to jump in the ring.  Piper will be at WW3 with a contract for the match.          

Well, a show of everything that makes WCW WCW.  The debut of La Parka, Eddie vs Benoit, TMF vs Ultimo, the nWo causing trouble, a main event talk segment with a huge SWERVE, cops, and WE'RE OUTTA TIME.



Announced card for World War 3:

  • Ultimo Dragon vs Rey Mysterio Jr J Crown Championship
  • The Giant vs Jeff Jarrett
  • Harlem Heat vs Amazing French Canadians; Sherri gets a match with Parker if HH win
  • That Motherfucker Dean Malenko vs Psychosis WCW Cruiserweight Championship
  • The Outsiders vs Faces of Fear vs Nasty Boys WCW Tag Team Championships
  • World War 3
WCW Monday Nitro 11/11/96

Has Piper vs Hogan been signed yet?  It's all I care about.  I need to know.  Right now.  TELL ME MOTHER FUCKERS.  Sting has not been seen in the arena tonight.

Chris Benoit vs Jeff Jarrett

This kid hates country music.  Sullivan has a PIP promo talking about the desires and sweet nothings Benoit has been hearing are the same ones he heard once upon a time.  These promos would make no sense if you didn't know about Sullivan/Woman.  And since they haven't explained their relationship at all on screen, I imagine a lot of people had no idea what Sullivan and Benoit were fighting over.  This is something of a proving ground match.  JJ keeps up with some mat and chain wrestling, so Benoit chops him IN THE FACE.  Things are still pretty even after coming back from break.  A lot of punches from both men.  Some anger in this match, friends.  Sting comes to the ring OUTTA NOWHERE and lays Jeff out with the Scorpion Death Drop.  It appears that Sting did not appreciate Jeff's promo on him last week.  The match is thrown out.  Woman tries to convince Benoit to help Jeff up.  He does.  By the hair.

A fan comes to the announce booth trying to get Tony and Larry to play some tape.  Security drags him away.  He comes back and knocks Tony's water over.  Tony reads the letter: It says the tape is something that was popular in Europe in 1992 and they should play it, because Piper wants Hogan.

TO DR. ANDREWS.  A package on Ric Flair's shoulder injury and surgery.

Malya Hosaka vs Zero

Hosaka's music is definitely some straight up porn music.  Larry can't believe that Zero is a woman.  God forbid a woman have short hair and lift weights.  She looks like she could be really mean, so hopefully she lays Hosaka out.  She wins with a crucifix bomb.  She looked a lot meaner than she actually was.  Fans of course don't give a shit about this because they have no idea who the fuck any of the women in this tournament are and don't get any hype videos or anything to help with that.  Zero advances in the tournament.  

TO THE MEAN GENE.  Gene is back!  He's with DDP.  Gene says clearly the nWo is trying to recruit him.  He explains that they had an affiliation with Hall and Nash years ago.  This brings Hall and Nash out.  Hall offers him a spot.  4LIFE.  DDP seems offended that he'd be the 8th guy asked.  Nash explains that wrestling is political and things happen for a reason.  He lets it out that DDP is Bischoff's neighbor.  They would have come sooner, but the politics prevented them from doing so.  DDP just doesn't get it.

Rey Mysterio Jr vs Ciclope

Ultimo is at ringside with the J Crowd.  I'm not sure if it was the full J Crown.  I don't think there were 8 belts.  This is the Nitro debut for Ciclope.  Rey hits a suicide dive and both fly into the guard rail.  Rey goes for the West Coast Pop only to be lariatoooed out of the air.  Ciclope does a sunset flip bomb to the floor, and Rey hit with a loud splat, but the camera angle missed it.  Of course.  TMF comes out to watch.  Larry wonders if the name is actually "Cyclopspay".  Rope hang DDT from Cyclops.  Wtf, now Hypnosis comes out to watch Dean watching Ultimo watching the match.  Rey tries an in ring Asai moonsault and gets tombstoned.  Yo wtf, Rey does a top rope victory roll to the floor.  Why the fuck would you do that?  West Coast Pop for the win.

It appears hackers have attacked the WCW website over the past week.

A group of nWo fans with their picket signs come out, followed by the Wolfpac.  Out of the entrance ramp, not the crowd.  Syxx has a Cable ACE award.  The nWo are going to invade the awards ceremony.  They come out to the announce booth and shit talk Larry.  "I thought you'd be taller."  "I thought you'd be thicker."  They now have the nWo website on their shirts, and that site went live that night.  Saturday Night just isn't cutting it.  nWo Nitro is coming.  I'll forever support people punking Larry out.

Scott Norton vs Lex Luger

No hour two ballyhoo.  When we came back from break, Tony and Larry had bailed.  Arn had a PIP promo, his first appearance since Havoc.  He'll be back at WW3 and he's going to "run (him) to death".  Norton has a new buzzed down mullet and is wearing black and white.  He also falls over doing a back breaker.  Sting is watching!  


Seems that Norton had been working over the arm during the break.  Lex is able to get the rack on with no issues despite having his arm worked on the whole match.  

WW3 is talked about.  Tenay thinks Lex is a favorite.  Brain picks That Motherfucker.

Replay of Sting laying Jeff out.  

TO THE MEAN GENE.  Gene asks Lex for his thoughts on what Sting did tonight.  He's holding on as hard as he can to keep WCW afloat, but it is more than one man can handle.  He pleads for Sting to help.  

Amazing French Canadians vs Harlem Heat

The Mounties have taken on Col. Parker as their manager, it seems.  Sherri and Heat beat Parker up on Saturday Night for interfering one time too many.  Bischoff was supposed to have another meeting with Piper, but couldn't due to scheduling conflicts.  We're told that we are going to be shown the tape the fan dropped off earlier.  

TO THE BACK.  The Nasty Boys try to get into the building.  They aren't on the list and are not allowed into the building.

SPLIT SCREEN.  Fuck.  Fucking split screen.  I hate that shit.  Especially when it isn't even 50/50.  Also waiting outside is DA BOOTY MAN.  They talk as we head back to the ring, where Sherri is screaming that she's going to kill Parker.  I guess the match ended.

Konnan vs Chris Jericho

Fuck.  Next thing you know, Duggan is going to be out here.  Tenay gives a bunch of info on Jericho's dad.  Nick Patrick is the ref for this, which seems questionable after last week.  Jericho completely misses the triangle dropkick.  Konnan sold it anyway.  Jericho tries some roll ups.  Konnan can't roll with them.  Fans boo.  Konnan dropkicks Jericho into Patrick, who disqualifies Jericho for it.

Juventud Guerrera vs Miguel Perez

That hairy mother fucker.  Both got less than a jobber entrance.  The bell rang as soon as they got back from break.  Juvi tries a rana with Perez on the railing.  Instead, he got fucking splattered with a powerbomb with Perez standing on the bottom of the railing.  Who thought that was a good spot?  Brutal.  Perez follows it with an awkward flying space tiger drop.  Moments later, Juvi is doing springboards and missing a 450.  Perez wins with a leg lace roll up.

TO THE DIBIASE.  Ted and Virgil are up in the Sting Spot.  They have an nWo shirt for him.  

Faces of Fear vs The American Males

The Piper video is actually a music video.  Bischoff again shits on Piper's management.  Buff gets the brunt of Barb's violence this week.  I like that the Piper/Hogan feud seems to be mostly built on "Piper is the only guy Hogan never beat" when Warrior is the one Hulk never beat.  Meng superkicks Riggs for the win.  Jimmy Hart screams about the Nasty Boys getting a title shot at WW3, when the FoF can't get one.  Jimmy wants a triangle match.  

Bischoff says he's been "eluding" to this tape all night.

TO THE TAPE.  Oh my god.  It's an early 90s pop song music video from Piper.  It features him frolicking on the beach, working out in a boxing gym, and singing in the studio.  This song is horrible.  It's called, "I'm Your Man".  It has a spoken word part near the end where he says he could be your milkman, he ain't no half pint, but a full load and that's why they call him the Hot Rod.  That's the worst shit.  Then we get some freeze frames, one of which has Piper vs Hogan on the sign for the Hollywood Bowl.  The faces of everyone immediately following the video were priceless.

The B Team comes to the ring.  Liz is dressed up like Mrs. Clause.  The OG Wolfpac not being out for these promos are weird.  It's like the group is already split in two.  There are at least pretty defined lines: 80s WWF guys (plus Giant) and New Generation WWF guys.  Nick Patrick is in the ring for this for some reason.  It hasn't been mentioned, though.  The promo lasts for like 90 seconds and then Hulk poses to end the show.         

Well, it was a fun show until the Piper video.  What the fuck.  The worst shit.  This feud is already one of the worst and it has only been going on for a couple of weeks.

WCW Monday Nitro 11/4/96

Oh my, Sting is in the rafters!  The nWo is in the crowd.  It's a big night.  A tournament for the WCW Ladies Championship will start tonight.  Bischoff is in Portland trying to get Piper vs Hogan signed.

Brad Armstrong vs Marcus Bagwell

Hmm.  Two non cruiser faces against each other for no reason?  Seems like a perfect opportunity for the nWo to attack.  They're quite evenly matched.  Sting left as soon as Buff came out, by the way.  Not interested at all in how this is going to go.  Tempers flare and Buff slaps BA in the mouth, which sends BA on a flurry of offense.  Buff hits a plancha and Brad just splatters and shatters into a million pieces.  No idea how Brad landed so much harder than Buff when Buff was jumping from the ring.  The Giant/Ted/Virgil have seen enough.  Tornado DDT from that bad ass BA.  A surprising amount of fire and heat in this.  Buff gets as hard earned victory by getting some good luck when both men tried a cross body.  His body had more momentum going into it.  

DDP vs Ice Train

DDP and Nick Patrick seem to have a relationship of some sort, which is suspicious considering the apparent relationship both men have with the nWo.  Hall and Nash are again out to watch and cheer on DDP.  Not much of note here.  I'm already sick of the Piper/Hogan hype.  It hasn't even been signed and it is repeatedly referred to as the biggest match EVER.  In history.  Not just in WCW.  Not just in wrestling.  The biggest match in HISTORY.  A match that happened a bunch of times a decade earlier.   Not sure why it would be so much bigger now.  DDP gets knocked to the floor and Hall and Nash attack OUTTA NOWHERE.  They beat SMOOV down with the titles.  Nick Patrick misses all of it.  Kanyon Cutter for the win.  BANG!

Scotty Riggs vs Dean Malenko WCW Cruiserweight Championship

I don't know how Riggs is considered a cruiser or why he'd get a title shot.  Especially when you have actual cruiser that are much better.  Hypnosis gets a title shot at WW3.  It's explained how Riggs got this title shot: When he got injured, he dropped some weight and barely made the limit.  Syxx is watching in the crowd.  Riggs was on the top rope.  TMF shook the ropes, which caused Riggs to fall into the ropes, off the apron, and to the floor.  Buff throws him back in the ring and gives him shit for it.  TMF wins with the Oklahoma roll.  Title retained.  The Males argue.

Hector Guerrero vs Chris Benoit

Hector!  Family honor, hombres.  Sullivan had a PIP promo towards Benoit, saying he's still the man and weird shit that no one knew what he was talking about unless they followed DA DIRT SHEETS.  Hector does a pretty dope Vader Bomb plancha.  Back in the ring, a pumphandle back breaker.  Yo, Hector still got it.  He and Eddie are SO similar.  In everything.  

THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY THE NEW WORLD ORDER.  I can't buy the shirt without ordering information, god damn it.

Benoit is in control after the break.  Flapjack Norton into a gut buster!  Benoit stays working on the mid section and chest.  A short arm lariato ROCKS Hector.  Benoit is being mean as fuck in this, even by his standards.


Kiwi leg roll from Hector.  That's what it is called, I guess.  Woman breaks the hold.  Benoit rolls Hector up with his feet on the ropes for the win.  I hope Benoit vs Chavo Classic happens.

We get a recap of Giant's promo from last week.

TO THE TENAY.  Mike is with what now appears to be the 3 Horsemen, Benoit, Mongo, and Jeff Jarrett.  Arn and Flair are on the shelf.  Benoit and Mongo don't seem agree at all with Jeff being involved in the group.  Sting is back, this time in he crowd, not the rafters.  Jeff talks about EVERYONE.  Like every angle, he talks about.  

TO TONY THE TIGER.  Fuck this dude.  

Reina Jubuki vs Madusa

Jubuki is half woman, half goose.  During this, Zero walks out.  One of the most famous women wrasslers in the world, it seems.  This could be the first usage of Tenay's, "You know who that is!".  Of course, I doubt ANYONE watching Nitro had a clue who it was, even the smarks who read DA DIRT SHEETS.  Sonny Onoooooo makes fun of Madusa's plastic surgeries.  Nothing of note here besides maybe Madusa doing Trish's hand stand rana.  Madusa wins with a German suplex and advances to the next round.  

M Wallstreet vs Chris Jericho

IRS...Dude is back to wrestling in slacks.  No one is interested in seeing him.  I'd feel bad for him if I wasn't one of the people not interested in seeing him.  Jericho still has that awful entrance music.  I can't believe someone with the charisma and talking ability of Bray Wyatt came from the fruit of Irwin's loins, if you wheel.  Dem dominant Mulligan genes.  Tony buries the Super Bowl.  Can we bring Hector back?  Jericho won with a small package.  

TO THE TENAY.  Mike speaks with Nick Patrick and his lawyer again.  It just happens that Jericho was walking to the back during this and he takes over the promo.  The lawyer tries to shit talk Jericho's dad for no reason.  Teddy Long comes out and gets up in Nick's ass.  All up in that ass.  Nick Patrick is a PLAYA HATER, playa!  Ted and Virgil are in the crowd watching this.  The lawyer then shits on Teddy Long for his own transgressions as a referee.

Lex Luger vs Booker T

It's a match.  Of all the things in the world it could be, it was a match.  No Parker or Stevie.  Parker comes out and "accidentally" costs Booker the match.  Lex wins with a school boy.  Sting was watching from the rafters.

Eric calls in and lets us know how the negotiations with Piper are going.  Hogan vs Piper has been signed!  The biggest match EVER IN HISTORY!  However, Piper's management are being real dicks, so maybe the match isn't on.  Wait.  What?  Is it on or not?  We are then again shown Piper at Halloween Havoc.  The whole promo.

Hollywood Hogan, DiBiase, Giant, and Virgil come to the ring.  Where is the Wolfpac?  I guess Hogan promos are going to be the main event from now on.  Hulk is quite offended he hasn't been invited to the Cable Ace awards yet.  He then SHOOTS on Ted Turner and threatens to crash the event.  He claims he did everything he could to get Piper into a match, but Piper is a pussy.  He doesn't even really say anything.   

I'm damn sick and tired (sick and tired) of the Piper/Hogan hype already.  It's already massively over hyped, way past the point of being able to deliver on anything, and it isn't even officially booked yet.  Sting is 2spooky4me.  Hogan doing promos appears to be the main event for the next 2 months.  Buff/Armstrong was surprisingly fun and hot.  Hector was still dope.  I'm down for a Benoit vs Guerrero Family feud.

WCW Monday Nitro 10/28/96

After a wild Halloween Havoc what will the nWo have in store for WCW?  Will Roddy Piper continue his tirade against Hulk Hogan?

Juventud Guerrera vs Steven Regal WCW Television Championship

Regal won the title at the end of August.  This is the first time he's been on Nitro with the belt.  My goodness, STING is sitting up near the rafters, watching intently.  The crowd erupts as the nWo fans head through with their signs.  Hey, there is a match going on.  Syxx is in the crowd with a mic and welcomes us to nWo Nitro.  He implores Sting to make the right choice.  Regal and Juvi continue to have a spirited lucha/WoS...thing.  Juvi misses the 450.  Regal Stretch for the win.  Title retained.  

TO THE SCHIAVONE.  Tony speaks with the champ.  Tony mentions Sting to the live crowd, which makes him get up and leave.  Regal went the opposite way and the interview ended up not happening at all.

DDP vs Mike Enos

Eddie was injured last night in his match with DDP.  Bruised ribs.  Kind of a random match.  Heel vs heel is one thing, but heel vs heel no one gives a shit about is even weirder.  The Outsiders are out to watch this from the crowd.  Enos tries to do some shit talking to them.  I think they're a little far away for that, pal.  The Outsiders seem to be cheering for a Kanyon Cutter.  DDP probably developed neck problems in this match.  Enos killed him with a hangman's neckbreaker and nasty hot shot.  It took some work, but DDP hits the Kanyon Cutter for the win.  BANG!  Hall and Nash cheered the finish and Nash even threw up the diamond sign.  This was closer to the DDP of 1997-1998.  Since he was on the defense most of the match, he was the de facto face and didn't really show many of his shitty 80s heel tendencies.

Jim Powers vs Dean Malenko WCW Cruiserweight Championship

No way is Jim Powers a cruiserweight.  Of course Nick Patrick is the ref for a match of a Teddy Long backed guy.  That has to be the only reason this match is happening, because Powers definitely isn't a cruiserweight and definitely isn't a number one contender to any title in the world.  Hypnosis is out watching the match.  What a shocker, he was out injured after a match with Konnan.  I can't believe someone got injured working with Konnan.  He's so professional and safe.  Patrick completely misses a pin while arguing with Teddy.  TMF wins with a rolling prawn hold in a nothing match.  Title retained.  I hope Teddy and Nick fight soon.  

We get a recap of the FoF/Horsemen match last night.  I find it very hard to believe that no one knows that Sullivan and Woman are married.  You're telling me Tony Schiavone, who has known both Sullivan and Woman for 6-8 years doesn't know they are married?

Jeff Jarrett vs Ricky Morton

I remember the last time Morton had a solo run in WCW.  Richard Morton.  Where he slicked back his mullet and went Wall Street, yet still wore tassels on his tights and boots.  I like the lack of gimmicky gimmicks in WCW during this time.  JJ comes in as a great wrestler, not country music singer.  The nWo guys come in as themselves.  Even the DoD are just dudes now.  No profession gimmicks. No supernatural gimmicks.  Just guys who wrestle and have their own personalities.  They have a short, but fairly competitive match.  Jeff wins with the figure four.  The Giant talks from the crowd, holding the US Championship on his shoulder.  Giant says the Horsemen told him they passed him the torch, but they really passed him a wet match.  SICK BURN.  

TO THE SCHIAVONE.  Double J tells Giant to get his big nasty stinky sloppy fat ugly out of shape lazy slobby bastard ass in the ring if he wants a fight.  Jeff doesn't like getting wrapped up.  He challenges Hogan and pleads for WCW to unite instead of having a bunch of splinter groups all fighting each other in addition to the nWo.  He was born into the sport and has more to lose than anyone.  

High Voltage vs Amazing French Canadians

They're not the Mounties.  I believe the Mountie called the fans of Phoenix, "coyote heads".  High Voltage attacks during the Canadian national anthem.  Remember when CARL had a feud with Bret Hart?  Over Bret's jacket?  Now he's on Nitro against a jobber tag team and getting dominated.


LOL at the camera man zooming in on the stage waiting for the pyro that never came.  The Macho Man is not here.  No one knows what his status is.  The Mounties are now in control.  I wonder if CARL will take a really stupid bump.  Flying tea bag!  Bret got killed with that move at Rumble 88 or 89.  As the Canuks go for the cannon ball, the Nasty Boys run out of the crowd and attack both teams.  The Mounties run away and High Voltage get creamed.  Bischoff basically says they aren't going to get used for the remainder of their contracts after their shit with the nWo.  They don't care if they aren't wanted around anymore.  They were nasty before the nWo and WCW were even thought of.

Jimmy Grafitti vs Rey Mysterio Jr

God, JDR is the scummiest looking dude.  Bischoff makes it clear that Piper isn't signed to WCW, but had asked for 5 minutes on live PPV time to say something to Hogan in a way that couldn't be edited.  That was the only commitment WCW had towards Piper.  JDR starts the match with an electric chair and doctor bomb.  Rey recovers and hits a split legged moonsault.  It heads to the floor.  JDR hits a cannon ball off the apron.  Rey wins with the West Coast Pop in another short, but fun match.


TO TONY THE TIGER.  These segments are so stupid.  I mean, who gives a shit what a C string announcer is doing while in cities that WCW will be at a week later?

A.C. Green of the Suns is a member of the nWo now, I guess.  

Eddie Guerrero vs Chris Benoit

Both guys have injuries coming out of Havoc.  Eddie has a broken, not bruised rib.  Benoit is all beat up from the DoD beat down.  His shoulder is apparently nearly dislocated and all taped up.  Lol, the nWo wants to be nominated for a Cable ACE award.  Mongo and Debra come out to watch the match.  PIP promo from Sullivan, who says that when man was created, woman was the destruction of us all.  If you were hoping for a Eddie/Benoit classic, you should temper your expectations, since both are selling their injures from the night before and that is more important than the match itself.  Anytime something happens, the match stops because both guys are too hurt to do much.  Hall and Nash also have asked for an office next to Ted Turner.  Mongo hits Eddie in the ribs with the briefcase.  Benoit gets the win.  Probably a master class on selling injuries, but it didn't really make for a great match.

TO THE SCHIAVONE.  Tony talks with Nick Patrick and his lawyer, who looks like the dad from Dawson's Creek/The Flash.  Well, the lawyer talks.  The lawyer blames Chris Jericho for Nick Patrick's actions in the main event.  This brings Jericho out and says Nick's neck is fine and is a member of the nWo.  As the lawyer questions Jericho, Teddy Long comes out.  I don't know about you, but this looks like a tag team match, playa.  The lawyer has some diet racism towards Teddy and the show goes to break while he's talking.

Booker T vs Lex Luger

Col. Parker has a PIP promo saying it is absurd that he cost HH the match last night, or that there are any problems at all.  I wonder where Sting went.  Stevie is nowhere to be found and Lex has been in complete control.  Bischoff mentions that the last time anyone saw Piper, he was acting president of the WWF.  Book finally starts to get into it and then misses the Harlem Hangover.  Lex is ready to "rack and roll".  Fuck you, Eric.  Piece of shit.  Lex goes for the torture rack, but lets go when he apparently sees Sting.  I don't know how he saw him right away, but he did and Lex runs into the crowd to confront him.  Sting walks away before Lex can get to him.

Eric explains why WCW gave Piper his promo time with Hogan.  But don't read anything into it.  Then we're shown the whole promo.  

Hollywood Hogan comes to he ring to give his response to Rodney the Piper.  Hulk gets his own spotlight for his promos.  Bateaster learned a lot from Hollywood.  Hulk says that he respects Macho for having to bear the cross for the entire WCW.  But then he makes fun of his dick and says he's going to bone Liz, so I think he may have been insincere.  He doesn't really say much about Piper except that he saw fear in his eyes, but does say he's going to go party with Virgil and the Outsiders.  Ted says that the foundation for the full take over is pretty well built and then Hulk poses for the crowd to end the show.

Decent enough show.  Nothing dragged, at least.  I would consider this to be the true, official debut of Crow Sting.  Full face paint.  Sitting at the top of the arena.  Not talking.  That's the Crow Sting we all know and love.  I don't know why Flair wasn't on the show.  Maybe he was with Arn.  Seems like there definitely should have been more than just a lawyer talking for Nick Patrick after his actions the night before.  He TOTALLY fucked WCW over royally.  Bischoff repeatedly makes it clear that Piper doesn't work for WCW and they gave him 5-8 minutes of PPV time out of respect and just to make sure there wouldn't be any issues.  That seems suspect to me, Eric.  Actually, a lot of things seem suspect with the hindsight of knowing that Bischoff was part of the nWo the whole time.  Taking a powerbomb from Nash?  I can buy that making sure no one would suspect you.  But once you keep disappearing without telling anyone where you're at when big nWo things happen, once you don't do anything to remove Nick Patrick from his position, and when you allow things like Piper to come in and surprise Hogan and shit talk him on live PPV, that seems a little too hard to believe.

WCW Monday Nitro 10/21/96

The go home show for Halloween Havoc.  Things are getting 2spooky4me.

Larry cautions Macho to not listen to anything Liz says, because ex-wives always and only want to ruin your life.  Again.  Larry REALLY hates women.  It's actually pretty gross.  Every week he makes some really terrible comments about women.  It's especially weird since he's really kind of a neutral announcer.  It isn't like he's over the top heel like Heenan or Jesse in the 80s.  But he makes his dislike and distrust of women known every week, and Tony often agrees with him.

Bobby Eaton vs Chris Jericho

Eaton left the Blue Bloods due to the poor treatment of Jeeves.  Stink and Syxx are hanging out in the crowd below an nWo banner.  Syxx and Jericho have a match at Havoc.  And the show goes to break before the match even starts.  Eaton's hair always mesmerizes me.  It just doesn't make sense to me.  They have a match.  Just a match.  Neither impressive nor offensive.  Jericho won with a missile dropkick.  

TO THE SKEEAVONE.  Jericho says it is ironic that Havoc is six days away, because he's going to beat Syxx.  YEAH BABY!

Hype video for Rey Jr.

Jimmy Graffiti vs That Motherfucker Dean Malenko

Jimmy Del Ray.  What a scum bag.  One of the most athletic dudes of his shape and look, though.  He hits a big float over DDT.  Bateaster Bomb.  Superkick.  He's on a roll! They should have added him to Public Enemy.  He looked like he should at least be an occasional associate.  Stink is recording this on Syxx's camera. TMF ICES UP.  JDR takes a hard bump on the apron. He was able to recover and threw Dean into the post.  He came off the top, got caught in a powerbomb, and TMF wins with the Texas Cloverleaf.

Sting will be here tonight!

DDP vs Sgt. Craig Pittman

Those pink tights are so terrible.  Stick to black, Page.  Once again, Nick Patrick is reffing the match of a Teddy Long backed wrestler.  Pittman had the Code Red on.  Nick argues with Teddy, and in that time, DDP got to the ropes.  Nick missed the tap out.  Kanyon Cutter for the win.  BANG!  Teddy and Nick argue again.  They should have a match.  

TO THE SCHIAVONE.  Nick Patrick blames Teddy for his man losing.  Tony says it is obvious that Nick Patrick is the nWo referee.  Nick says he's in twice the shape of that ref and it must be Randy Anderson.

We're shown Flair being attacked by the nWo from two weeks ago, and Jeff Jarrett taking Flair's spot last week.

Ron Studd vs Jeff Jarrett

Man, poor YetAY.  His entire career is being a jobber to make guys facing Giant look good.  Ric Flair heads out in a suit.  He and Jeff have a strut off.  Ric shakes Jeff's hand and leaves.  Well, that was odd.  Jeff pretty easily beats the YetAY.  Even doing a vertical suplex.  Figure four for the win.  Dude is ONLY on TV to lose to guys about to face Giant.

TO THE SCHIAVONE.  Double J is going to make WCW proud at Havoc.  It's time for WCW to go on the offensive.  Flair comes back and says he has become complacent.  But starting Sunday night, things are going to change for WCW and the nWo.  


Road Block vs Lex Luger

Fucking Road Block.  HE'S FAT!  Terrible look.  Terrible gear especially.  Black half tights with road markings, with an orange and white striped top.  I assume the top is supposed to be like a traffic cone.  It looks like Tugboat's faded singlet.  Lex has very few issues with Road Block.  He gets him up for the rack, but drops him.  He tries again and drops his FAT ASS.  The 3rd time is the charm.  Lex wins.

THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY THE NEW WORLD ORDER.  Buy the shirt, god damn it.  Maybe if you put a phone number to call I would.

ON THE ROAD WITH TONY THE TIGER.  Lee is in Phoenix tonight.

American Males vs Harlem Heat

Eric says the Brave had a big win over New York, which has become a habit around here, which makes Tenay and Brain crack up.  It wasn't that funny, but whatever.  Riggs has recovered from whatever injury he had.  Maybe he had...THE CLAP.  Bischoff again apologizes to the Poffo family.  Bischoff said he agreed to give the nWo their own show, due to fulfilling the agreements made for the War Games match.  Bischoff agreed to give them Saturday Night 2 times a month, but the nWo wants Nitro and are petitioning Time Warner to get it.  Hall and Nash are out watching.  Awkward finish where Buff is late to break up a pin, it looked like Patrick stopped the pin, but then called the match.

The Fantastics vs Faces of Fear

Lol, what.  The Fantastics?  In 1996?  Whatever, Tommy Rogers was pretty dope.  He's still in great shape, too.  Meng and Fulton begin.  Fulton has no chance against Meng.  He wasn't in that good of shape even in his prime.  This is 10 years later.  Back drop into a powerbomb.  Fulton is getting murdered.  Rogers gets a tag.  It's not particularly hot, but it was a tag.  Missile dropkick puts Barb down.  Double missile dropkick.  Barb holds Rogers in a slam.  Meng kicks him in the head.  FoF win.  

Macho Man has yet to arrive.  Sting is here, but now we're told it is nWo Sting.  Bischoff apologizes to Macho...and then shows the footage from him stirring the shit last week.  He then says he has footage of how low Hogan is later tonight.

JL vs Stink

Quick and easy win for nWo Sting.  During this, the REAL Sting comes out.  He's in black and white face paint and wearing a long trench coat.  Scorpion Death Drop.  The nWo does nothing as Sting beats on Stink.  They finally enter the ring once the death lock is on.  Ted welcomes Sting to the nWo.  Nash quotes his favorite American poet, Jim Morrison.  Hall tries to convince him to join them.  The only that's for sure about Sting is that nothing's for sure.  And then he leaves.  

TO THE BISCHOFF.  Macho comes out for his match, dressed in all black, not in wrestling gear.  In fact, it appears to be pretty much what he wore in his TNA appearance.  Bischoff apologizes once again and shows new footage from Hogan.  Hulk was on the set of 3 Ninjas.  The nWo takes over the production and fires the director.  Giant is the new director.  Liz had a role in the movie and Hulk makes her deliver a message to Randy.  Hulk is going to ruin her life if she doesn't bring Macho's head to him on a silver platter.  She claims he's ruined her life twice.  Giant then takes her to the trailer, where Hulk puts her in her place.  I think he implied he was going to rape her to make her do her role.  Maybe.  Macho has no response and walks off, looking like Judge Doom.  Macho comes back and says it just occurred to him how fragile friendships and relationships can be.  In his normal voice.  Which isn't that much different than his wrestling voice, but different enough.  Business is fragile.  Marriage is fragile.  Life is fragile.  Macho is either going off to commit suicide, or murder Hogan.  It was left ambiguous.  Benoit vs Macho was supposed to happen, but obviously it doesn't. 

The debut of Crow Sting.  Or at least, the start of what would become Crow Sting.  He spoke, so that kind of doesn't fit in with true Crow Sting.  Macho is either off to kill himself or kill Hogan.  Liz's nWo stuff was explained by Bischoff as her contract was coming up in November and WCW wasn't going to resign her, so she went with the nWo.  Macho had his real life voice.  The Outsiders actually backed down when confronted by a unified WCW.


Announced card for Halloween Havoc:

  • Dean Malenko vs Rey Mysterio Jr WCW Cruiserweight Championship
  • DDP vs Eddie Guerrero
  • The Giant vs Jeff Jarrett
  • Syxx vs Chris Jericho
  • Lex Luger vs Arn Anderson
  • Steve McMichael/Chris Benoit vs Faces of Fear
  • The Outsiders vs Harlem Heat WCW Tag Team Championships
  • Hollywood Hogan vs Randy Savage WCW Championship


WCW Monday Nitro 10/14/96

So, I'd guess that no one got ran over by the nWo monster truck last week.  

That Motherfucker Dean Malenko vs Brad Armstrong

Glad to see TMF back, but against Brad Armstrong?  They've traded some wins on the weekend shows lately.  The nWo fans are loud tonight.  Because there are more nWo fans than WCW fans already.  Dean hits a dope Saito suplex and corner lariato.  The second one is countered with a kick.  Missile dropkick from Arachnaman.  The Russian leg sweep!  He took too much time to pin.  I find it strange that Brad's big move was a Russian leg sweep when he came out in an American flag jacket all the time.  TMF gets the win with a quarter nelson roll up.  

TO THE BACK.  A limo has arrived.  It's the nWo!  Two limos!  How did Virgil get into Hulk's limo?  BUT WHO WERE LIMOS?!?!?!

TO THE SATURDAY NIGHT.  The never ending Duggan/IRS feud continued.  Nick Patrick's neck was bumped into.  He disqualified Duggan for using tape.  The first time ever.  About fucking time.  Leave it to the heel ref to be the only one to actually enforce the rules.

M. Wallstreet vs Jim DOOGUN

Why can't this shit just end?  No one wants to see these two, especially not against each other.  There have been a lot of dope moments in the Mid South Colosseum.  This is not one of them.  IRS got Duggan's tape.  Duggan won with a clothesline.  His first win in about a year without cheating.

Hugh Morrus vs Jim Powers

 Camera man got drunk on the job.  Wtf are you doing, crane operator?  Tony thanks "Mr. Lawler" for helping to promote this show, as it is the biggest crowd ever in the Colosseum.  And then says you'll see him in the flea market on Thursday.  Did King really help promote this show?  Or was it just a set up for the jab in the second part?  The biggest crowd the building has ever had and it was for this?  I'm sure it won't have as big of a crowd the next time they come to town.  Flair's injuries from the nWo beat down last week were more severe than originally thought.  He's not at the show and someone will be replacing him against the Giant at Havoc.  This match is weird.  Zero chemistry of any kind between these two.  Teddy gets pissed about Patrick taking too long to make covers.  He's injured, Teddy.  Powers would have had the win about 4 times, but Nick can't count quick enough.  He does, however, make a normal count for Hugh.  Teddy gets all up in that mug after the match.  

Greg Valentine vs Lex Luger

This is how you kill a territory.  The fuck are you doing, Bischoff?  Lex has taped ribs due to Arn's attack last week.  He's unable to even do a suplex.

TO THE BACK.  Arn is watching on a tiny monitor.  

Ted and Virgil are standing in the crowd, in front of a big nWo banner.  The biggest pop of Virgil's life.  At least he has history in the arena.  How sad is it that I'd rather watch Virgil standing around than see this match continue?  Lex wins with the torture rack, even though he couldn't pick Hammer up for a suplex even before 5 minutes of getting his ribs worked on.  

TO THE SCHIAVONE.  Tony speaks with Nick Patrick.  Tony suggest he takes time off if his injury is hurting his ability to work.  He then told Nick Patrick what Macho Man's punishment is: A $500 fine and missing the first 5 matches of 1997.  Tony shows footage from Saturday Night, where the nWo had empty arena matches with a masked referee.  Tony suggests that ref is Nick Patrick, who claims it can't be him because he's in much better shape.


TO THE BISCHOFF.  Bischoff tries to get some answers from Randy Savage.  Macho doesn't appear to be aware a promo was about to happen and was coming out for a match.  Eric shows Randy a video of Liz apologizing to Macho for all the shit she's put him through.  She feels the same way about him as the day she said, "I do".  The look on Macho's face makes me sad as shit.  Like seeing your dad cry or something.  He's in some serious pain, blues, and agony of the heart.  Bischoff repeatedly tries to get some words, but Macho is speechless.  

Mike Enos vs Randy Savage

The match never happens.

TO THE BACK.  Macho walks straight out to his limo and leaves.  BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!!?!?


BOBBY HEENAN of all people calls Eric out on how stupid and inappropriate that was for him to do on TV before a match.  

Eddie Guerrero vs Cheetah Kid

Cheetah Kid was Rocco Rock's gimmick on the indies.  This time, I believe it is TAFKATAFKAPI.  Eric apologizes to the entire Poffo family for putting Macho in a bad spot like that.  Eddie wins with the frog splash pretty easily.  

ON THE ROAD WITH TONY THE TIGER.  He's in Minnersoter, where WCW will be at on the 18th.  

Big Bubber vs Jeff Jarrett

Jimmy Hart and Double J return home.  Lol, Eric buries the country singer gimmick.  DOUBLE J chants for probably the first time ever.  He's also replacing Flair against the Giant at Halloween Havoc.  Jimmy tries to get involved.  His distraction works and JJ runs into a back elbow.  Bubber tries to slam Jeff onto the upturned stairs.  Big boot!  Bubber DRILLS Jeff in the side of the jaw with a punch.  Jimmy gets decked.  Bubber Slam!  Bubber hits the ref while rearing back for a punch.  He uses this to attempt to use the megaphone.  Jeff dropkicks it into his face and gets the win.

TO THE SCHIAVONE.  Tony gets comments from Double J.  It is announced to the crowd that Jeff is replacing Flair at Havoc.

Faces of Fear vs Harlem Heat

Sherri and Parker refused to allow this to be a title defense.  Mongo and Benoit come out to watch.  Remember right after Fall Brawl when Mongo said you'd never again see one Horseman without the others?  The Horsemen haven't been together as a unit since then.  At least one of them has been missing, usually Flair.  Even then, they're all doing their own things and might as well not even be a group right now.  You'd expect a lot of stiff kicks in this, but there really aren't many.  Barb barely hit the super belly to belly.  Meng danced for Sherri.  Hall and Nash come to ring side out of the crowd.  Nash spits towards the ring and both teams bow up to them.  The Outsiders back down.

Bischoff predicts that if Macho gets to Halloween Havoc, Hogan has no chance.  But if he doesn't, we'll never see him again.  

Out comes the nWo.  Hulk has shaved the stubble and looks weird as shit.  Liz is forced to come out with the nWo.  She's "literally" being held hostage.  Hulk brags about Three Ninjas and how he can make Macho do anything he wants.  He just has to push a button.  Liz tries to slap Hulk.  The Nasty Boys come out wearing nWo shirts.  Knobs actually has an issue with the contract.  Hulk never signed the contract, so they shouldn't have the shirts on.  Hall and Nash crack both of them in the head with spray paint cants.  They're tagged.  Hulk admits that Liz loved him and thought about him the whole time during their time as the Mega Powers.  #Machowasright.  The nWo takes over the booth.  Their mics are cut, but before that, Hall breaks that kayfabe by saying Harlem Heat are actually two bumpkins from Texas.        

These shows are starting to feel like the late 1998 shows that have no direction at all.  Most of the undercard feuds are on the weekend shows and the nWo just comes out to brag and say shit every week.  That stuff with Macho, though...man, it made me sad.  Either Macho was a wonderful actor, or that angle with Liz cut him deep.

WCW Monday Nitro 10/7/96

We're shown footage of Liz last week, leaving the nWo hotel room as the Macho Man confronted her.  Tonight, Macho faces Flair.  For the 900th time.  On Saturday Night, Harlem Heat regained the tag team championships.  They will face The Outsiders for the titles at Halloween Havoc

Public Enemy vs Harlem Heat

Non-title GRUDGE match!  PE were suddenly faces one day.  No reason given.  They just started going into the crowd with announcers talking about how the fans love them.  They love waving their arms in the air like they just don't care.  They boo PE when they do anything besides table spots.

TO THE BACK.  Liz is knocking on Macho's locker room door.  He's nowhere to be found.  

Oh shit, the nWo has arrived.  Hall and Nash have nose strips on.  Hall calls HH, "hillbillies".  Then he does the Friday the 13th sound effects.  The match continues during and after the talking.  It shouldn't have, because it isn't good at all.  Parker grabbed the ropes while Rocco was on the top.  He fell to the floor through the table.  HH use a chair on Grunge's previously injured knee.  Harlem Heat wins.  Titles retained by default.

TO THE BACK.  A limo arrives.  MY GOD.  That's JEFF JARRETT!  BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!?!?!

TO THE SATURDAY NIGHT.  Nick Patrick set a fine down for $1 Million for attacking him.  He also wants a suspension for Macho.  He claims that he was responsible for Mean Gene being off the air for the past few weeks.

DDP vs Jim Powers

DDP is back to his pink tights which means you can see his dick again.  Hopefully Teddy gives a good gif in this.  DDP had a picture in picture promo on Eddie during this.  Kanyon Cutter for the win.  BANG!

TO THE TENAY.  Mike finally gets to talk to the Macho Man.  And the Slim Jim race car driver.  Who looks like a jockey.  The nWo car didn't even finish the race over the weekend.  Slim Jim finished in the top 10.  "Praise the big Macho Man in the sky!"  Liz comes out and tries to talk.  Macho walks out.

High Voltage vs Faces of Fear

The last time these teams met, the FoF beat the dog shit out of High Voltage.  I hope it happens again.  FoF attack before the bell.  Jeff Jarrett will wrestle here tonight!  Mongo and Benoit come out to watch.  They have the FoF at Havoc.  It wasn't quite the beat down as last time, but the FoF won with a slingshot into a big boot for a pretty easy win.

Mike Wenner vs Glacier

Wiener has Chavo's eventual theme.  This mood lighting has to go.  Glacier has to go.  When does Mortis show up?  WCW needs Kanyon.  Is a pescado a karate move?  Spinning sinning, swizzle dizzle razzle dazzle Brahman Allah back front kick for the win.  The minute long count down happens during Glacier's dance routine.  For the whole minute.


Hugh Morrus vs Jeff Jarrett

That's J-E-Double F J-A-Double R-E-Double T.  Jeff's music is the instrumental for the West Texas Rednecks hit, Good Ol' Boys.  They've already decided that Jeff is a member of the nWo, even though he's done nothing to give into that speculation in anyway.  Did they not learn from accusing Sting of shit he didn't do?  Bischoff won't say where he went last week.  They have a pretty even match until Hugh misses a top rope leg drop.  Jeff slaps on the figure four for the win.  A very sloppy figure four.  

TO THE SCHIAVONE.  Tony talks to Jeff and asks Jeff if he's a member of the nWo.  No he is not!  He takes great offense to Hulk saying he's bigger than the industry, bigger than promoters like Verne Gagne and Jerry Jarrett.  The nWo can STICK IT!

THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY THE NWO.  You know, they're selling the shirt, but there is no way to buy it except at live shows.

Renegade vs Arn Anderson

"Just a guy named Rick."  One of the worst burials I've ever seen in wrestling.  Jimmy Hart murdered the dude's gimmick and career on a Cena level.  The only thing the guy had going for him was being an Ultimate Warrior rip off.  Then Jimmy Hart said he was Rick and wiped his paint off.  He's been a jobber ever since.  Renegade hits the hand spring back elbow.  Bischoff claims this is the first time he's ever seen that move.  Not just from Renegade (even though that's a regular move of his), but ever.  Muta and Ultimo don't count, I guess.  Arn wins with the DDT.  He beats on Renegade until Lex chases him off.  They have a match at Havoc.

Dave Taylor vs Lex Luger

Dave bullies Jeeves around, then lays him out with an uppercut when Jeeves argues.  Regal won the TV title from Lex 48ish days ago.  Then he went to Japan and it was over a month before it was mentioned on Nitro at all.  Lex wins with the torture rack.  Arn attacked after the match.  

Rick Steiner vs Chris Benoit

Scott is with Rick this week.  He has a severe back injury.  Benoit of course attacks before the bell and is of course caught in a powerslam.  The a Steinerlariatooo.  Muta will be filling in for Scott in the NJPW tag tournament in October.  Probably Mutoh, not Muta.  Rick's German suplex isn't as severe this week.

TO THE BACK.  A limo with an nWo license plate backs in.  It's Hogan and the Giant!  Hulk says he has business to attend to.  BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!?!  

The match... a Rick Steiner singles match.  Mongo and Benoit got hit with the briefcase.  Rick wins.

TO THE BACK.  Hogan and DiBiase are walking with the Nasty Boys, telling them to watch his back.  Ted has the nWo contracts ready.

Ric Flair vs Randy Savage WCW US Championship

Go to the back.  NOW NOW NOW!

TO THE BACK.  The nWo is beating on Ric Flair.  He was mugged.  Liz is there, but not helping either side.  Giant backs her to the announce position, where Hogan was waiting to ambush the Macho Man.  Liz tries to pull Hogan off.  Giant drags Macho to the ring and Hulk makes Liz watch.  Fucking Giant trips up the stairs and drops Macho on the post and the steps.  Uncoordinated piece of shit.  Hulk beats on a lifeless Macho in the ring, repeatedly attacking his neck.  Someone in the crowd has good aim with their cup.  Hulk uses the spray paint to outline Macho's body on the mat.  After about 5 leg drops to the back of the neck, the rest of the nWo comes out.  Hulk claims to own Liz's body, soul, and heart.  That sounds rapey.  

Hulk says they're going to destroy the announce booth.  Then an nWo monster truck drives into the arena but WE'RE OUTTA TIME.


They're kind of in a lull right now.  The partnership with New Japan is actually hurting shows in America, because most of the best undercard guys are missing Nitro to be on tour with NJ.  A distinct lack of the top cruisers over the past month and a half or so, and it definitely hurts shows over all.  On top of that, the nWo has clearly already won whatever war there is going on.  They were unstoppable with 3 guys.  Now they have Giant, Ted, Syxx, and Virgil to join in on the beat downs.  They've taken over the show at will whenever they want.  There is no one to stop them.  The roster won't band together and fight them, so they just run roughshod.  Seems like some dude could come down from the heavens and right this wrong.


WCW Monday Nitro 9/30/96

If the nWo takes over again, I pray to Allah, the one and true god, be there no others beside Him, that Giant is no where near a microphone again.  Bischoff will have a response on the take over of last week.

TO THE BISCHOFF.  He's going to give it now.  He talks about the history of WCW going back to 1905, name dropping Lou Thesz, the Funks, Dusty, and so on.  This shit is going to stop right now.  It's not fun anymore and no one is entertained by it.  They're THUGS!  Wait a minute, they get their first black member and suddenly they're thugs?  Sounds fishy to me.  And as he's giving this speech, there are loud NWO chants from the crowd.

ElTechnico/Juventud Guerrera vs Public Enemy WCW Tag Team Championships

Technico is wearing the Los Hombres costume from the Douglas/Steamboat tag team days.  I'm not sure who it is.  It's definitely a white guy.  Juvi and Rock start the match.  Juvi must be so happy not to be working with Konnan.  How dangerous do you have to be when someone is safer in the ring against two brawling ECW dudes?  I think it's Kidman under the mask.  Pretty convinced by his tiny upper body and the way he runs the ropes.  PE get a quick win.  Titles retained.  They put Kidman through a table after the match and celebrate in the crowd.

TO THE TENAY.  Mike is with Mongo, Benoit, and Debra in the back.  Mongo isn't even booked, but he's there to make sure the nWo won't do shit tonight.  Benoit has a match with Rick Steiner.

THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY THE NEW WORLD ORDER.  Nasty Nick at Night makes his first appearance.  They made a deal with his mom that Nick could stay up and watch the nWo every nWo Nitro.  WCW actually paid for this, as a result of losing War Games.  Nash is sure Debra wants to fuck him.  Syxx calls for room service.  

Dean Malenko vs Alex Wright

TMF has one of Rey's masks with him.  He ripped it off Rey's head on Saturday Night.  Alex gets loud boos.  TMF controls on the mat.  Larry says that TMF is too methodical and not fluid enough.  Dean is like...THE most fluid guy ever.  These fans do not like Alex at all.  Larry shits all over Sting for being a little bitch.  Dean misses a top rope crossbody.  Alex gets a pin with an Oklahoma roll (even though one of Dean's shoulders couldn't be on the mat since Alex's arm was under it).  

TO SATURDAY NIGHT.  Macho got wacky on Saturday Night.  Liz was out to watch him even though none of the Horsemen were around.  He ended up punching and choking Nick Patrick.

TO THE TENAY.  Mike now speaks with Macho.  Hey, remember when Macho was getting fined and suspended for attacking refs earlier in the year?  Are they not going to punish him for that?  Macho never shows up for the promo.

There is a LONG Slim Jim commercial for a Halloween sweepstakes, which has Macho dressing up as Frankenstein and the Wolf Man, all while explaining how to enter and what you win (a MONSTER truck, trip to Halloween Havoc).  Then Ric Flair invades and they shit talk each other as music that would become Thunder's theme song plays.  Went on forever.  

Jim Powers vs Eddie Guerrero

Matt Ghaffari is back again this week.  Were they training him at the Power Plant or something?  Patrick has a neck brace on.  Tony EXPOSES DA BUSINESS by saying the the fans popped for Macho punching Nick Patrick.  The crowd is just waiting for an nWo run in.  The fans are back with their signs.  There are a lot of nWo shirts in the crowd anyway.  The loud NWO chants return.  Larry gets pissy about it.  Eddie wins with a German suplex on a suspect count.  Teddy gets in Nick's face about it.  Even Eddie isn't happy with that count.

THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY THE NEW WORLD ORDER.  They're watching themselves on TV in their suite at the Cleveland Marriott.  The Nasty Boys come in.  Room service arrives.  Sags gets on a table and talks out of his ass, doing a Bischoff impression.

TO THE TENAY.  Mike is with Arn, Liz, and Woman.  Arn thought they had forgiven Liz for her moment of weakness and got their house back together.  "Business is business, Liz.  And you know this."  

Hugh Morrus vs Brad Armstrong

Larry has said he doesn't trust women about 5 times tonight.  I get it, Larry.  You hate women.  The rematch everyone was waiting for.


Bischoff comes out and says that the Nasty Boys aren't member of the nWo and he thinks they're just being duped by Hogan.  He seemed to take that ass talking insult quite personal.  Hugh wins with two moonsaults.  

TO THE BACK.  Arn and Woman are arguing with Liz.  Liz doesn't seem to want to go out there.  

Bischoff apologizes for Macho no showing and leaves the booth to Tenay.  He says Tony can come back if he wants.

Chris Jericho vs Arn Anderson

Jericho's music is THE WORST.  So awful.  Liz stayed in the back.  Thankfully Tony takes over as lead and it wasn't left to Tenay.  It seems like Bischoff was heading to the nWo hotel room.  Liz is watching on a monitor near Gorilla position.  Jericho gives Arn a lot of trouble.  Woman gets right up in Jericho's face and slaps him.  TMF hits a DDT for the win.


TO THE BACK.  Liz walks out of the building.

M. Wallstreet vs Lex Luger

I guess IRS lost the VK once Virgil took over the Vincent moniker.  IRS always looks so uncomfortable.  When he comes to the ring, he looks like a kid wearing his dad's suit.  Once he's in the ring, he's always adjusting his singlet.  And sweating.  Holy shit, Regal won the TV Championship from Luger with help from the nWo 40 days ago.  This is the first time it has been mentioned in a Regal or Luger match.  Lex wins with the torture rack in a match that went way, way too long.

Tony apologizes to Sting on behalf of himself and the rest of WCW.  As an offering of peace, the WCW motorsports car has been repainted and is now the STING car.

Faces of Fear vs Rock N Roll Express

 Man, all I really want to see is Barb kick Robert Gibson's eye straight.  Morton repeatedly goes for sleepers to get Meng to the mat.  Doesn't work.  Barb and Gibson are in, so there is a chance of getting that eye fixed.  Marc Curtis bows up to Barb and isn't afraid at all.  God damn it, Barb boots Morton.  WRONG DUDE, DUDE.  After a gnarly powerbomb, Barb does a vicious back breaker.  FoF dominate most of the match.  Right as the RNR were firing up, Jimmy distracts Gibson, who gets booted in the back of the head.  FoF win.  Gibson's eye is still wonky.  Public Enemy run out and get the shit kicked out of them.  Grunge gets chop blocked and that knee is repeatedly smashed.

THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY THE NEW WORLD ORDER.  Back to the hotel.  Kyle Petty is with them now while the Nastys eat all the food.  

Chris Benoit vs Rick Steiner

Interesting choice of a main event.  Probably at least one dangerous German suplex and lariato can be expected.  Rick throws the massive release German.  Shit was brutal.  He also throws the first lariato.  Rick goes for a super belly to belly.  Mongo hits him in the back with the briefcase.  Benoit falls on top of him for the win.

THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY THE NEW WORLD ORDER.  We're back to the hotel.  Liz is now in there.  Giant is convincing her to join by saying how, despite his complete lack of acting ability, he's done two movies this year because of Hogan.  Virgil brings in a present and is immediately told to stfu.  "Everything has changed since the deal was made."  She leaves.  Macho comes flying down the hall, yells at Liz, and then the show ends.


A boring show, but at least it wasn't the agonizing nWo Nitro like last week.  If we're counting, the nWo now has 11 members, with the Nasty Boys at least appearing to be associates.  3 managers, a race car driver, and a 6 year old.  They've already let too many people in and the group won't officially die for another 6 years.

  • Hulk Hogan
  • Scott Hall
  • Kevin Nash
  • Ted DiBiase
  • The Giant
  • Syxx
  • Virgil
  • Fake Sting
  • Kyle Petty
  • Liz
  • Nick Hogan


nWo Monday Nitro 9/23/96

With most of WCW's top stars away in Japan, there is no telling what the nWo will do tonight.  In fact, Tony shows us an ad in USA Today that the nWo hijacked.

EARLIER TODAY.  nWo fans were handing out nWo flyers again as fans entered the building.

Brad Armstrong/Juventud Guerrera vs Taskmaster/Konnan

Konnan and Juvi start and the FIRST MOVE is Konnan dropping Juvi on his head with a release German.  No wonder Juvi got so fucking crazy.  Konnan concussed him 900 times in 3 years.  And then Sullivan stomped his head.  God damn it, the 187 is unsafe as FUCK.  Konnan is so dangerous.  Sullivan refuses to get in with Juvi.  Konnan hits a powerbomb on Brad, Sullivan tags in, hits the double stomp for the win.  Konnan argues after the match.  Bib Bubber and Sullivan beat his ass.  This was his initiation.  He'd been in the group for like 3 months.  He hadn't been initiated yet?  

The nWo fans are walking around the building with big signs.

TO THE TENAY.  He talks with the Macho Man in the back.  He's a marked man and the only top star in the building tonight.  He don't give a fuck.  He's fucking stupid like that. He doesn't give a shit about jail.

Mike Enos vs Chris Jericho

Mike "Enis".  Penzer.  Come on.  One of those random ass WCW matches.  Enos is in a tag team.  Jericho is a cruiser.  Jericho gets his ass kicked, up to getting suplexed on a side ways propped steps.  Jericho finally starts firing back, but it is too late to make this interesting.  He hit a stiff lariatooo, which is not something I've seen out of him in his whole career.  Jericho kicks out of a superbomb.  He counters a powerslam into a small package thing for the win.  This match sucked.

Pat Tanaka vs Glacier

Things that always suck in wrestling: mood lighting.  Glacier wins with a spinning back front left swizzle right drizzle mocha pumpkin spice kick in quick order.

Public Enemy vs Harlem Heat WCW Tag Team Championships

No idea how PE could have possibly be legitimate contenders.  They never win.  The match starts before the bell with the champs in control.  Fortunes change when Book's dick meets the top rope.  Fortunes rechange.  Long chin lock from Stevie.  Oh no, the nWo has arrived.  Split screen.  Two limos.  The whole gang is here.  BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!?!  And WHO WAS LIMO??!?!?!?!  The finish is completely botched.  Twice.  It ends up with a small package and both teams thinking they won.  But PE won.  New champions!  


Well, it certainly wasn't an interesting first hour.  The lack of stars is pretty obvious.  

Greg Valentine vs Randy Savage

No one wants to see Greg fucking Valentine in 1996.  That dude moved like a 55 year old in 1986.  Macho got disqualified for hitting Hammer with a chair.  During the post match, the OG Wolfpac hits the ring.  Valentine leaves.  Outsider's Edge.  Liz is near the stage, looking awfully concerned.  She runs away.  Jackknife.  Giant looks like a fucking tool with his black jeans, boots, black vest, and a turtle neck button down with the top button buttoned.  Giant gives a big intro for Hogan.

All six dudes, just hanging out, fucking with Macho.  Leg drop on Macho as Giant does the Fargo Strut.  Someone throws a Slim Jim, which Nash uses to whip Macho with.  Giant eats it.  Hulk makes fun of Macho's bald spot and spray paints it.  Hall and Nash take over the announce booth.  Brain leaves, but they force Bischoff to stay.  The newest member is introduced: VINCENT!  


Welcome back to nWo Monday Nitro.  They're going to take over the NBA, the NFL, and NASCAR.  The nWo race car!  The newest newest member of the nWo:  KYLE PETTY!  

Jim Powers vs VK Wallstreet

GIant does the ring announcing and fucks all of his lines up.  You've got Hall and Nash on commentary, so you can imagine some wacky shit is going to be said.  Such as Hall saying Powers looked "all juiced up" and Nash dropping KISS references.  They head to the ring, leaving Eric and Ted to call the action.  Virgil is the CEO....of security.  Hall and Nash attack Powers.  IRS leaves.  Randy Anderson takes his bow tie off and walks out.  Nick Patrick with his new EVIL ear ring takes his place.  Giant could not be more fucking annoying.  We see Hogan running around spray painting the halls in the back on split screen like the Joker.  He runs across the Nasty Boys.  They've always been friends and Hulk wants to talk business tonight.  Hulk gives them his room key.  Well, suite key.  Are they going to bang?  Hulk actually gives Knobs the title.

When we come back from break, Hulk is wearing Macho's hat.  

Jim DOOGUN vs Ron Studd

Hall repeatedly says, "he's a comer".  Hulk offers a hand shake with The Yetaaay.  Then attacks him.  He and Nash beat him down.  Then the nWo music plays and claims their music is from "your favorite adult movie".  

Jim DOOGUN vs Syxx

Kid's WCW in ring debut.  Duggan won't let go of his board.  He's distracted arguing with Patrick and Syxx attacks.  Then he gets his ass kicked.  Old Glory ass kicking.  Lol, Hulk calls Syxx "The Kid" and you could feel Bischoff glare at him over the audio.  Giant pulls Duggan out and gives the weakest chokeslam ever seen on the floor.  Syxx gets the win.  What a terrible debut for him.  Gets the shit kicked out of him and then Giant hits one move that beats Duggan for him.  

Sure looks to me like Hulk is reading straight from a script.  "If you can't lick 'em, join 'em."  

nWo Sting vs Bo Ledux

Officer Farva vs a fake Sting.  This.  Is. TNA.  Sting wins with the Scorpion Deathlock.  

High Voltage vs The Amazing French Canadians

The Outsiders head to the ring and replace the Mounties.

High Voltage vs The Outsiders

I wish the Giant was dead.  I've never been more annoyed in my life.  "We ARE wrestling."  No way.  A future TNA tag line coined on an episode of Nitro?  I can't believe it.  Nick and Brooke get name dropped.  Complete and utter extended squash.        

This show suuuuuuuuuucked.  What little wrestling there was was boring as shit.  Then the nWo took over the show.  This is the night the nWo jumped the shark.  First, FUCKING VIRGIL?  Jeeeezus.  The nWo taking over a show for 20 minutes?  Dope.   The nWo taking over the show for the whole hour where all of them just ramble on commentary and Giant is THE MOST ANNOYING MOTHER FUCKER EVER TO EXIST?  Not dope at all.  God.  I'd rather watch 3 hours of Konnan matches than have to listen to him scream commentary, try to be funny, and act like Ric Flair.  Fucking Christ.  That kind of shit is why Allah is so severe on humans. 

WCW Monday Nitro 9/16/96

The nWo has won the war.  Sting has walked out on WCW.  Things have never been darker for WCW.

The show starts with a recap of War Games and the attack on Macho Man after the match.  Tony apologizes to Sting.  Sting was in Japan last Monday, which everyone in WCW should have known, but they didn't.  

EARLIER TONIGHT.  nWo fans handed out nWo flyers as fans came into the arena.  

Juventud Guerrera vs Rey Mysterio Jr WCW Cruiserweight Championship

I'm amazed Juvi can even walk after how reckless Konnan was with him that whole match, ending with that brutal muscle buster.  I wonder what that thing on Rey's stomach is.  Maybe it's covering a tattoo.  In the weeks or days to come, we'll find out how the nWo's demands will be met.  They went from asking for their own segment to asking for their own show.  GLACIER MAKES HIS NITRO DEBUT!!!  This is some straight lucha fuckery.  Rey hits a springboard diving rana to the floor as we head to break.  Juvi is in control when we come back.  Juvi hits a springboard spin wheel kick and then an Asai moonsault.  He better watch out for those stairs.  Springboard 450.  Too bad he hit the mat first.  Spinning super rana.  

TO THE BACK.  nWo fans are celebrating/protesting out back.

Rey counters a super power bomb into a rana for the win.  Title retained.

TO THE TENAY.  Mike is in the back with Mongo and Benoit.  They're booked against Sting and Lex tonight.  They're coming after both for what they've gotten WCW into.

A special look at Glacier.

Ice Train vs DDP

Weirdly, DDP gets a jobber entrance.  Even though he's the one on a big push and has lost I think one match in 3 or 4 months. SMOOV's power is way too much for DDP.  Luckily, DDP is good at cheap shots.  Cheap shots and cheap heat.  I will never be able to take SMOOV seriously after that jean vest with the built in back pack.  Never.  

TO THE BACK.  The nWo fans are taping off the merch stand.  There was a finish to the match.  It happened while we were looking at the merch stand.  Apparently Ice Train won.  But then it turns out DDP had grabbed Teddy's towel and threw it in, so DDP won.  Too bad we didn't' actually see any of this happen.  At least one of the signs says "Who wants this crap?".  

Wait a second.  The 123 Kid is in the crowd.  The fuck?  What is HE doing here?

Super Calo vs Konnan Mexican Heavyweight Championship

I don't understand how Calo and Juvi get title shots the night after losing title matches.  Konnan actually has the title with him tonight.  What a surprise, Konnan doesn't at all try to catch a dive.  Such an unsafe piece of shit.  Why would anyone want to work with him?  He doesn't protect his opponents at all.  There is another dive where Konnan just puts his hands up and moves out of the way, leaving Calo to thud off the floor.  God what a fucking shit head.  He's also wearing really baggy jeans with with them TAPED to his boots at the bottom.  Calo tries a super victory roll.  Konnan, being the piece of shit he is, bumps late and lands right on Calo.  Konnan fucking spikes Calo with the 187.  Splash Mountain for the win.  Title retained.  I can't understand why ANYONE would agree to work a match with Konnan.  

TO THE TENAY.  Mike talks with the 123 Kid at ringside.  He's been in Japan.  He heard Nitro was hot and wanted to check it out.

Hugh Morrus vs Brad Armstrong

This is definitely not a Nitro match.  Hugh hits the moonsault, but takes a while to pin.  Brad is able to roll him up for the win.


TO THE TENAY.  Macho Man is the guest.  He drops some dope rhymes.  

TO THE BACK.  The nWo is hanging out by their limo, with an awful lot of red solo cups.  Hogan and Nash have their fanny packs.  "nWo Nitro".  BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

Scott Norton vs Randy Savage

Oh shit.  A rematch from almost exactly a year ago.  A match where Macho got WRECKED.  Macho meets Norton in the aisle and we got us a fight.  Samoan drop from Norton.  A lot of people will be in Japan next week.  That's going to be a problem.  The nWo might have free reign next week.  What a powerbomb.  TMF.  Macho hits a big lariatoooo and sends Norton into the railing a few times.  Slam on the floor.  Norton hits the shoulder breaker.  Norton gets posted. Macho drills him with a chair and swings at the ref.  Another chair shot.  Another.  DQ.  Nick Patrick comes out and gets face palmed.  

Glacier vs Big Bubber

God damn.  9 years after the first Glacier promo, he finally debuts on Nitro.  After all that hype he made his debut on the Sunday show.  The fuck.  Mortal Kombat 3 game out in 1995 and Glacier is 100% a rip off of the MK3 Sub-Zero.  Undeniably.  Midway should have sued it was so bad.  Marvel got up in their ass for the Spiderman knock off years before.  Fuck, he even gets mood lighting.  Glacier is the original Sin Cara.  Get this shit out of here.  This gimmick was just for Bischoff to get boners over being able to call karate shit.  Sin Zero wins with a spinning side kick.  Then it snows.  

We're told about the nWo demands when Sting comes to the ring.  He cuts a promo with his back to the hard cam explaining what happened last week.  He talks about seeing all the doubt in him from WCW and his best friend Lex.  He's been mediator, babysitter, and given Lex the benefit of the doubt 1000 times in the last year.  He's carried the WCW banner and given everything to WCW.  He'll stand by those who never doubted him.  But those who doubted him?  They can STICK IT.  He considers himself a free agent.  But you'll see him from time to time when you least expect it.

Chris Jericho/Marcus Bagwell vs Ric Flair/Arn Anderson

Liz doesn't want to come out with them.  She's upset and scared.  They leave her in the back.  The 123 Kid pushes a button on a remote control that drops nWo leaflets all over the arena.  The fans are in the arena with their signs walking in the crowd.  They are still falling after the break.  I don't know why they don't have Buff do singles stuff while Riggs is out hurt. Random partners every week is weird.  Arn and Jericho start the match.  Bischoff says he was forced to agree to giving the nWo their own show if they won War Games, because they wouldn't do War Games otherwise.  That sounds suspicious, Eric.  Why didn't you mention that before?  The youngsters are giving Ric a lot of trouble.  Along with the leaflets, Ric is pissed.  Spinebuster on Jericho.  Tenay says he's surprised that Eric agreed to the nWo demands.  

TO THE BACK.  The nWo exits their limo.  123 Kid is now with them.  Giant has a radio and plays a clip of Sting, which was played in the limo last week to confuse us all.  "Sting is now Stung."  BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!?!

Woman gets involved and Arn hits a DDT on Buff.  Flair locks on the figure four for the win.

Steve McMichael/Chris Benoit vs Lex Luger

Sting is nowhere to be found.  Lex is game, though.  Brain is really perturbed that Bischoff keeps saying that most of the top stars will be in Japan next week.  STOP TELLING THE NWO, ASSHOLE!  Fuck.  It's like you'reworking for them or something.  Lex is able to knock Mongo out of the ring and gets Benoit in the torture rack.  Flair and Arn hit the ring before Benoit submits.  Lex wins via DQ.  The Horsemen give him a beat down.  No one comes in to save him.  

TO THE BACK.  The nWo are playing by their limos and offer the camera man a job with the nWo.  We're told that the newest member will be known as Syxx.  Hulk talks about their plans to take over Nitro next week.  BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?


WCW really seems like a group of dick bags.  They turn their backs on Sting after Sting had given them zero doubt to not trust him.  Had anyone bothered to look, Sting was in Japan last week doing media for the WCW guys going in for some NJPW shows.  They should have known that couldn't possibly have been him who attacked the nWo.  Someone should have been able to tell that it was the audio of a Sting promo from a week or two before.  Lex should have been able to tell that wasn't his best friend.  But no one did and they deserved to have Sting walk out on them.  Then, the next night, the Horsemen gang attack Lex, after months of the nWo doing the same thing.  No one comes to help Lex.  No one tries to break it up and keep WCW united.  WCW is as big of a threat to themselves as the nWo is.  Also, FUCK KONNAN.  Unsafe piece of shit.



WCW Monday Nitro 9/9/96

The go home show for Fall Brawl.  The nWo has yet to reveal its team for War Games or even if it officially accepted the challenge.

Pat Tanaka vs Super Calo

LOL at Pat coming out to Goldberg's music.  So weird.  Calo gets a title shot against Rey this Sunday. Calo hits a tope that sends his feet into the railing.

TO THE BACK.  Camera man are watching a group of youngsters with nWo shirts on who appear to be readying themselves to hand out nWo flyers.


Back to the match.  Tanaka tries a super gut wrench suplex, which Calo counters in mid air or something for the win.  Looked dangerous as fuck.


TO THE MEAN GENE.  Gene is with Rick Steiner in the back, who will be facing Lex later tonight.  Lex comes in and says that Rick isn't a singles wrestler.  Rick is convinced he can beat Lex.  

THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY THE NEW WORLD ORDER.  Buy the t-shirt!  Fans in the arena have home made nWo shirts.

FUCKING LOL Glacier debuted on WCW PRO.  8 years of hype just to debut on the Saturday morning show?  Amazing.  

The Amazing French Canadians vs Nasty Boys

They're not the Mounties!  Lol at Pierre's tiny Canadian flag.  Why is it so much smaller than the Fleur-de-lis?  Mountie, you can't fool anyone by growing your hair out.  You've had a bald spot for 10 years.  The Nasty Boys interrupt the Canadian national anthem, because they respect nothing.  nWo fans are handing out flyers in the crowd.  Cameras completely miss a big spot of Pierre getting back dropped over the top rope onto whoever.  Cut right at the moment of impact to see Larry trying to get one of the nWo flyers and then throwing them.  The flyer says, "You haven't seen bad...but it's coming!".  How ominous.  Are we sure that wasn't about Glacier?  Pierre has gained quite a few pounds since his last WWF appearance.  Canon ball! A second.  Pin that cunt, Carl.  Knobs gets the Fleur-de-lis and hits Pierre.  Sags gets the pin.  


TO THE NASTY GENE.  Man fuck this.  They don't give a shit about WCW or the nWo.  Only the tag titles.  Isn't it weird that these guys were so nasty, yet always made sure to be clean shaven before matches?

Scott Norton vs Sgt. Craig Pittman Hold vs Hold Match

You see, both guys have arm bar variants as finishers, so I guess the only way to win is with your finisher.  So really, it is a submission match.  Pittman takes a hard bump into the post.  Norton applies the Fujiwara arm bar in the ring.  Pittman will not give up.  Ice Train walks out in the most ridiculous jean vest with a built in back pack and throws in the towel.  Fire and Ice have a stare down.  What the fuuuuuuuuck is Ice Train wearing?  Only in the 90s.  The replay is for the "Pep Boys Power Pin of the Week" despite it being a submission match.


TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE.  Gene is with Arn, Flair, and Lex.  Flair wants to know where the fuck Sting is.  Lex doesn't know, but he knows Sting is there somewhere.  Mongo and Benoit break in and say it was a mistake to rely on Sting and Lex.  Arn has already booked himself a hospital room for War Games.  He expects to get hurt, as should everyone else.  

Joe Gomez vs Juventud Guerrera

Juvi enters to Eddie/Chavo's music for some reason.  Probably because someone couldn't tell the difference between Guerrero and Guerrera.  But then again, Gomez came out to Renegade's music.  Who knows.  Seems like a WCW thing to do.  Juvi does a springboard flippy thing that the camera cut to miss the possibly missed impact.  Juvi then tries a springboard rana to the ring with Gomez on the apron and it doesn't work at all. In fact, it drew boos from the crowd.  Gomez goes up top and just stands there waiting to get hit.  Juvi for some reason back flips off the top instead of trying a rana.  Juvi wins with "a spinny move" in one of the ugliest sub 5 minute matches you'll probably ever see on a major program.


TO THE MEAN GENE.  Gene stirs more shit with Nick Patrick.  Man, Nick should deck that old shit head.  Nick claims that Lex deliberately struck him and that is an automatic DQ.  Because of all the lies Gene has been telling, Lex has a vendetta against Nick.  

TO THE BACK.  The nWo are putting flyers over cars in the parking lot even during a heavy rain storm.  Ted is talking to someone in a limo.  It isn't The Giant.  BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!?!?!?!


Lex Luger vs Rick Steiner

Tony wonders if Lex and Nick Patrick aren't in cahoots.  Code of Honor is followed.  Rick out wrassles Lex.  Lex trying to mat wrestle is not good, I can tell you that.


This match is not good.  Nick Patrick runs to ringside and says the nWo is attacking.  Lex leaves with him and gets counted out.  

TO THE BACK.  Sting is in the nWo limo, arguing with Ted.  MY GOD.  Lex confronts Ted in the rain.  Sting jumps out of the limo and attacks Lex. No.  NO!  NOOOOOOOOOOO!  The rest of the group joins in and leaves Lex down in a puddle in the parking lot.  Hogan and the driver pick him up so Ted can put the boots to him.  Lex throws the driver and Ted runs away.  Sting has defected from WCW.  This is a terrible day.  Security doesn't know where the nWo has gone.  


We're shown a package of all the shenanigans from last week.  The fans have no idea what just happened as the home audience is shown the Sting turn.  The first package was pretty long and now they're going to break, with the fans starting to boo.


TO THE BACK.  Wrestlers are looking in one of the limos.  Looks like there was a box full of spray paint cans.  The other limo is gone.  Tenay criticizes the lack of leadership in WCW.  Bischoff quiets him down saying how interesting it is that a new comer like him would have the guts to say something like that.

Rey Mysterio Jr vs Billy Kidman WCW Cruiserweight Championship  

Naturally, the announce team is very somber.  Kidman hit a huge Superfly Splash.  Rey gets the win with a springboard flipping senton in a very short match.  Title retained.

Faces of Fear vs Public Enemy

Hey, why doesn't someone ask Jimmy and Sullivan how they let Giant jump ship like that.  Fucking split screen shit.  God damn it, Eric, just because you can doesn't mean you should.  The Leprechaun runs out and chases Jimmy around for some reason.

TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE.  Gene is with Lex and the Horsemen, who are all pretty legit shook.  Sting had been the only constant since Turner bought WCW.  Arn wants answers from Lex.  He doesn't have them.  He's going to Sting's house and gym and find that son of a bitch.

The super belly to belly on Rock looked really gross, but since it was on split screen, it was all tiny and shitty looking.  Rock was put on a table.  Barb comes flying off the top rope elbow first through it.  On his elbow that has been heavily tapped for 2 months. Meng gets moonsaulted through a table in the ring, which isn't a DQ for some reason.  Meng no sold it and beat Grunge with the Tongan Death Grip.  Lol, Brain called Meng, "Haku" and then went silent.


TO THE MEAN GENE.  Gene is with the whole Dungeon of Doom, which now includes cholo Konnan.  Bubber doesn't care at all about the nWo and wants to make sure everyone knows that Glacier can go fuck himself.  Oh god, Konnan talking with the cholo accent is so offensive.  That dude is Cuban.  He's not a Mexican gang banger.  He actually says he's led gang wars all over the country.  

THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY THE NEW WORLD ORDER.  Now they're inside of a cage.  Ted is in it.  Ted lays out some plans suggesting if they win War Games, they'll get their own segment on WCW shows, and WCW will pay for it.


John Tenta vs Randy Savage

Quake has Jericho's second WCW theme.  He also never cut the other side of his hair.  Bischoff has to apologize for Brain saying Haku and to make sure everyone knows that Meng is in no way affiliated with the WWF.  So SAWFT.  Macho repeatedly uses a chair and isn't disqualified for it.  He hits 2 elbow drops.  Teddy Long runs out and tries to convince Macho that something is going on in the back.  Macho heads to the back with him.  Quake wins via count out I think.

TO THE BACK.  Macho just missed the limo.  One is left.  The wrestlers dig into it.  Macho finds another box of spray paint.  The WCW wrestlers tag the limo.  BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Bischoff tries soliloquizing when Arn takes over the booth and gives a history lesson.  The nWo is nothing but a rip off of the Horsemen.  Bischoff tries again and Flair cuts him off twice.  Bischoff says it was a mistake to bring Hulk Hogan into WCW and it was a mistake to not treat the Horsemen better.


Shit is getting real.  Sting has defected.  The nWo is buying up more time each week.  They've got fans handing out flyers in the crowd.  They are truly taking over.


Announced card for Fall Brawl:


  • DDP vs Chavo Guerrero Jr
  • Ice Train vs Scott Norton Submission Match
  • Juventud Guerrera vs Konnan Mexican AAA Heavyweight Championship
  • Chris Benoit vs Chris Jericho
  • Rey Mysterio Jr vs Super Calo WCW Cruiserweight Championship
  • Harlem Heat vs Nasty Boys WCW Tag Team Championships
  • The Giant vs Randy Savage
  • nWo vs Arn Anderson/Ric Flair/Lex Luger/? War Games
WCW Monday Nitro 9/2/96

Nitro has been on the air for a year!  The Horsemen vs The Dungeon of Doom in an 8 man tag tonight.  Sting/Lex vs the Steiners.  Last week, the nWo spray painted Turner trucks and wrestlers.  Ted DiBiase came to ringside, counted to 4, and said that 5 would be next week.  Which is this week.  Was he talking about the nWo, or something else?  

DDP vs Alex Wright

DDP is slowly, painfully, dropping his shitty 80s wrestler trappings.  A lot of them are still there, but a little less each week.  His moves are getting more over each week, too.  But he's still kind of a piece of shit.  Of WHITE TRAAAAAAAAAAAAASH, if you wheel.  His ways of getting into the Kanyon Cutter are getting a bit more intricate.  It works for him this week. BANG!

TO THE MEAN GENE.  Gene again gives Nick Patrick more shit.  QUIT STIRRING THE SHIT, GENE.  Ya old bastard.  If he was making bad calls, he'd be fired.  Gene is a LIAR.  "I am here to enforce the law!"  Nick Patrick is Robocop.  

TO THE MEAN GENE.  Gene is in the back with Col. Parker and Sherri.  God damn, this angle has been going on for over a year at this point.  Parker has gifts for Sherri.  A leather vest and chaps, because he's taking her to his farm to ride his horse.  Not a euphemism. 

Harlem Heat vs Greg Valentine/Buddy Valentino WCW Tag Team Championships

Mark Curtis makes his WCW referee debut.  Buddy Valentino looks like Buddy Rose's illegitimate son.  Ted DiBiase again makes his way to ringside.  Book and Hammer start the match.  Buddy tags in.  That fat piece of TRAAAAAAAAAAAASH.  But his FAT ASS threw a dropkick.  But HE'S FAT.  Book hits the Harlem Hangover for the win.  Titles retained.


TO THE MEAN SUCKA.  Stevie is sick of fat shit heads like the Nasty Boys.  Of course, this means the Nastys ambush from behind.  Pretty sure Stevie got hurt as he was hit right in the back of the neck and appeared to go head first into the apron without time to react to block it.  Spike piledriver on Booker.  Knobs then squashes his head for fun.  Dropping an elbow with the full weight of his body on Booker's head.


Dean Malenko vs Chris Jericho

I think Tenay got added to the team full time.  Fuck.  I hope that isn't the case. God damn, Jericho's first music is THE WORST.  Apparently these two never crossed paths in Japan.  An ECW chant starts up after some kicks from Jericho, which he seems to acknowledge a bit.  Brainbustaaaa from TMF.  DiBiase leaves ringside.  Do you think he got paged?  Larry brings up a beeper right after I typed that.  Something is up.  Maybe he has to take a piss, guys.  Millionaires have to piss, too.  TMF has Jericho tied up on the mat.  Dean hits a weird springboard bulldog that was quite out of character.  Both go over the top.  Jericho is back in and then back out with a springboard to the top and out with a lot of impact.  Stinko can't get a win with a tombstone, but repeatedly covers Jericho to wear him out.  After a series of reversals, Jericho gets a victory roll like pin for the win.  A huge upset.  


Hype video for Calo/Rey.  They keep saying Calo would be making his WCW debut at Fall Brawl, but this had plenty of clips from him on the weekend shows.  LIARS.

The Giant vs Brad Armstrong

Larry gets in a lolstupidclinton joke.  Why is it not surprising at all that he'd be a Republican?  Oh fuck, a limo is arriving.

TO THE BACK.  A limo is backing in.  BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!?

Chokeslam for the easy win.

THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY THE NEW WORLD ORDER.  Oh man, this is just Hogan.  Can you imagine how insane this day of shooting got?  



TO THE BACK.  Another shot of the limo.  BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!

We're then shown all the nWo stuff from last week.

Ron Studd vs Randy Savage

I was all excited because Yetaaay had Finlay's music.  I thought Finlay was back.  Instead, the biggest midget in the world came out.  What an oddly proportioned dude.  He looks like a midget/dwarf, but 7 feet tall.  

TO THE BACK.  The nWo exits the limo.  When they see the camera man, they tell the other man (men?) to stay in the limo.  BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!?!

Macho slams and hits the elbow on Studd for the win.  You'd think you'd want to make a dude that big look like a monster, but in his two Nitro appearances, he's lost to guys a foot smaller than him and has been slammed/superplexed.  And both matches were to build up the other guy for a match against Giant.

TO THE MEAN GENE.  Macho has a big 2 months ahead of him.  Giant at Fall Brawl and Hogan at Halloween Havoc.  Macho still isn't quite mentally stable.  "If any body out here is not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room."  

Sting/Lex Luger vs Steiner Brothers

Scott is again without knee pads, which makes me think he's injured and again won't be in the match this week.  There is a kid in the front row wearing a pretty metal Jesus on the cross and bleeding shirt.

TO THE BACK.  The Four Horsemen run out to the nWo limo.  They look in.  It's empty.  BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?

Lex and Rick start the match.  As they lock up, Rick shoves Lex off, who bumps into Nick Patrick.  Nick immediately calls for a disqualification.  Steiners win!  REF YOU SUCK clapclapclapclapclap chant starts up.  Sting and Lex chase Patrick to the back.


Four Horsemen vs Dungeon Of Doom

8 man tag, friends.  The DoD reps are Sullivan, Faces of Fear, and Big Bubber.  Sullivan and Mongo start the match.  They have an ugly as shit exchange.  Mongo no sells the double stomp and tries a moonsault, then falls all over the ropes to try an elbow that ends up as a stomp to nowhere.  Benoit and Barb have a chop battle.  Benoit fights out of the super belly to bell and hits what was more of a splash than a headbutt.


TO THE BACK.  Sting and Lex are still chasing Nick Patrick, all the way outside.  They run past the limo.  Ted DiBiase was getting into the limo.  Sting gets a huge rock and throws it through the window.  Sting and Lex then steal a police car and follow the limo.  BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!?!?!  


Back to the match.  Arn is set up into the Tree of Keanu.  So, Sting and Lex are totally going to jail, right?  TMF: Tonga Edition hits another one of his crazy powerbombs.  Bubber comes off the second rope.  Benoit gets his foot up and you could hear Bubber's teeth smash together.  Double diving headbutts from FoF miss.  We're being told local police are after Sting and Luger.  It breaks down with everyone fighting.  Flair has Sullivan in the figure four.  Benoit is yelling at Woman for some reason.  OUT SHIT THE NWO IS HERE!  FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!  The Giant comes out.  He chokeslams the Faces of Fear.  WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!?  THE GIANT HAS JOINED THE NEW WORLD ORDER.  MY GOD.  Macho flies out with a chair, but is taken down.  The Giant was the 5th man.  Chokeslam to Macho.  Leg drops.  DiBiase lured Sting and Lex out.  And Nick Patrick must have helped.  Nash fucking DRILLS Mongo off the apron.  Macho gets NWO on the front, and streak of yellow spray paint on his back.  


The nWo then takes over the announce booth.  Hulk says there are EIGHT guys.  Giant explains his actions.  Ted DiBiase called him at his modest home and had him fly to Hulk Hogan's house.  As he's talking, the DoD and Horsemen hit back, throwing chairs and shit.  Giant slips off the stage and falls on his ass.  Sullivan and Arn are throwing the big plastic chairs with reckless abandon.  Nash looks like he's legitimately trying to kill someone.  He definitely got popped right in the face with the edge of the chair.  Mongo throws a SHOOT punch that looked like it hit solid on Hall.  Giant then continues on his point.  Basically it comes down to money, money, money, money, moneeeeeeyyyy.  He never actually got to finish his story because Hogan interrupted and then threw the table over.  


Mother fucking CHAOS.  The most so far.  That shit was off and POPPING.  That was one of the most real looking brawls I've ever seen in wrasslin.  Nash in particular was just fucking MEAN in the ring and at the booth.  That was rad.  Man, fuck the rest of the show and skip to the end.  2real4me 4LIFE.  Rest of the show was fine.  The set up to get Sting and Lex away was pretty neat.  At this point it sure looks like the nWo has 6 guys, but one is a ref and one is a non-wrestler.  But that brawl.  God damn.

WCW Monday Nitro 8/26/96

Will the nWo answer the challenge for War Games?

Juventud Guerrera vs Billy Kidman

Oh no.  On one hand, this is Juvi's debut.  On the other hand, the 700 matches these two had in 1998 make me nervous.  They quickly head to the floor.  Kidman's hair cut is so bad.  Juvi does the most awkward victory roll into a rana into a sunset flip bomb off the apron.  So much trouble getting to that spot.  He follows it with a pescado leg drop.  Springboard corkscrew splash back into the ring.  Tony has been taking notes from Tenay and has all the names for all the moves.  Konnan injured Hypnosis, so Juvi will fill in for him and face Konnan at Fall Brawl.  Kidman connects with the SSP.  Juvi kicks out.  Kidman goes back up and gets caught with a super victory roll into a rana.


TO THE JUICY GENE.  Lol, Juvi was barely comprehensible after 4 years of wrestling in the US.  Having him do a promo his first match in seems questionable at best.  "I am the best wrestler Mexican!"  No idea what anything else was.



We're shown Sting and Lex offering to team with Arn and Flair against the nWo in War Games.

Marcus Bagwell/Jim Powers vs Big Bubber/The Taskmaster

Powers is filling in for an injured Riggs.  Sullivan immediately attacks Powers.  He's also completely dropped all trappings of the Taskmaster gimmick.  In fact, his trunks and boots both say KS again.  No face paint, no red and yellow.  I don't know why they don't just call him Kevin Sullivan full time again.  Bubber catches Buff in a powerbomb.  Tree of Keanu.  Buff gets a "hot" tag to Jim Powers.  As much as a tag to Jim Powers can be hot.  Powers gets a 3 count on a cross body.  Bubber's shoulder was up questionably close.  The Males music started, but Patrick had restarted the match.  Boss Man Slam gets the win.  Teddy Long gets all up in Nick's face over the call.


TO THE MEAN GENE.  This is proof to Bubber that he should be getting all the title shots.  Then he says he's fucking sick of all the Glacier promos.  Me too, Bubber.  Me too.  Sullivan claims that he saw Gene in a boat with Hogan a week ago.  Gene said that was Eric Bischoff.  

TO THE MEAN GENE.  After the break, Gene was in the back with Lex and Sting.  Even though they are teaming with Arn and Flair at Fall Brawl, they will be facing Mongo and Benoit tonight.  Seems like a poor choice for Arn and Flair to allow that.  Sting takes this as Ric and Arn not trusting the fortitude of Lex and Sting.

Mike Enos vs Chavo Guerrero Jr

Dick Slater comes out a few minutes into the match.  Konnan is dressed as a cholo, being "incognito" in the audience.  You know, being incognito by drawing a ton of attention to yourself.  Enos fucks up a powerbomb and Chavo lands on his knee.  Chavo then locks on a figure four.  Randy Anderson accidentally gets poked in the eye.  Slater broke the hold and took Enos' place, and then lost to a small package.


TO THE MEAN GENE.  Chavo calls out DDP.  DDP should give him a Kanyon Cutter off of one of the W's.  Chavo will face DDP at Fall Brawl.

JL vs Rey Mysterio Jr WCW Cruiserweight Championship

I figured JL was done.  His music is way too dope for him.  We're getting word that Hulk Hogan is outside.

TO THE BACK.  The nWo is outback.  They spray paint a Turner production truck.  4LIFE.


The match had understandably been apparently slow and uninteresting while all of this was going on.  TMF comes out and stares.  This match is weird.  Jerry's top has ripped and they take turns getting into referee position to do amateur stuff.



Wrap this shit up.  Completely uninteresting and unengaging match.  Rey gets the win with the West Coast Pop.  Title retained.

TO THE MEAN GENE.  Mongo, Benoit, and the yaks are guests in the back.  Mongo feels they made a bad decision to let Sting and Lex take their place in War Games.  Benoit doesn't really see it that way and instead wants to make sure Sting and Lex have the edge they (Mongo and Benoit) think they've lost.

We'reshown footage of Hulk hitting Macho with a chair 2 weeks ago and Macho's response last week.

TO THE MEAN GENE.  Gene speaks with Macho in the back.  Macho will face Hogan for the title at Halloween Havoc.  "I don't care if you care!  I'm in the zone, BUDDY!"  

Jim DOOGUN vs The Giant

I hope Giant kills Duggan instead of taking 10 minutes and barely being able to finish it.  Duggan should try to cheat with the tape, Giant no sells it, and chokeslams him.  But that isn't what happens.  Brain doesn't think Giant can chokeslam Duggan.  Even though Giant has chokeslammed Duggan before, and he's chokeslammed bigger guys with no problems.  A commotion starts in the crowd.  It's Ted DiBiase walking through the crowd!  Duggan wraps his fist.  The punches don't put Giant down.  Duggan and Jimmy fight over the board, which allows Giant to hit the chokeslam for the win.  Ted counts to 4 and says 5 will happen next week.  Giant still had more trouble with Duggan than anyone besides Hogan in the last 8 months.  No idea why they booked Duggan so strong.

TO THE MEAN AUUUUUUURUAAHGHGHAUAUARGHGH.  Giant is pissed that Macho would dare blame Giant for letting WCW down and losing the title when Macho wasn't even at Hog Wild.  He's going to take Macho's title shot.  Gene has to wipe down the camera and mic after Giant spits everywhere.

Rock N Roll Express vs Ric Flair/Arn Anderson

Fuck, Bischoff has been saying that DiBiase could be the newest member of the Horsemen.  Then he finally calms down and says..."Wait...I just thought of something..." and soberly posits that Ted is the 4th member of the nWo and the 5th member will be here next week.  NO SHIT SHERLOCK.  Not only that, that was Brain's immediate reaction.  This is exactly the same as their match a few months ago, but with MUCH less heat.  This crowd has really sucked all night, though.  Arn hit a DDT on Morton and Ric got the pin.  

TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE.  The sand is running out on the nWo, friends.  War Games will take place in Horsemen country.


Chris Jericho vs Alex Wright

Jericho's WCW debut.  INDIE RESPECK to start the match.  Jericho hits the triangle dropkick.  Obviously, no one knows who the fuck Jericho is, so they are pretty silent.  I mean, they were quiet for Flair and Arn.  Alex does a dive and hits the guard rail.  The ref counts Alex out, but Jericho doesn't want to win that way, so the match ends as a no contest.  What a lame debut.

TO THE MEAN GENE.  Gene talks with Alex and Jericho.  Jericho came here to fight to the best of his ability, and to win that way is not fighting to the best of his ability.  Jericho takes shots at Hogan and the nWo and Alex doesn't even get to speak.

Steiner Brothers vs Blue Bloods

Jobber entrances.  Something must have gone long tonight.  Eaton and Taylor argue over who is going to start first.  Eaton doesn't want to start the match.  Eaton and Rick end up starting.  The Bloods attempt a Doomsday Device cross body.  Rick keeps rotating into a powerslam thing for the win.  Scott never got in the ring, which wasn't surprising since he wasn't wearing knee pads.  The BB fought after the match.


TO THE MEAN GENE.  The Steiners get a title shot at Fall Brawl.  Rick is going to be "Beaner Beaner, the pumpkin eater."  Scott does an impression of a rooster.

Chris Benoit/Steve McMichael vs Sting/Lex Luger

The Horsemen jump Sting before Lex can get in the ring.  A lot of general brawling before it settles into Lex as FIP.  Hot tag to Sting.  The crowd reacts to something else, though.  All the fans with their backs to the hard cam are turns around.  HOGAN IS HERE!  He goes after Mongo, who saw him coming.  Hulk backs off.  Hall and Nash come out of the crowd on the other time and blast Mongo.  Mongo has been spray painted.  Benoit takes the Outsider's Edge while Sting gets jackknifed.  Both men are also spray painted.  Arn and Flair hit the ring.  They gets sprayed IN THE FACE.  Flair then gets his hair spray painted.  The cups and bottles fly into the ring.  They then take over the announce table.  Hulk paints the logo and it seems like their mics are cut.


Definitely a better show than last week, even if the matches weren't that interesting.  It's amazing how for 6 months, shows without Hogan were instantly better, but now shows without him feel small time.  The shows feel incomplete without the nWo making an appearance.  And it was quite the appearance tonight.  Spray painting Turner trucks and wrestlers for the first time.  DiBiase debuts and teases a 5th guy for next week.  Bischoff positing that he was a new member of the Horsemen was the dumbest shit, even if you know Bischoff has been nWo the whole time.  Who the fuck is going to believe that another WWF guy coming down through the crowd, who has been retired for 3 years and obviously not in wrestling shape, is the newest member of the Horsemen when we've been hearing about a 4th nWo for a month now?  The same Horsemen that just reformed to full force recently and are called the FOUR Horsemen for a reason.  Obviously, Ted is involved in the nWo and a 5th guy will be there next week. 

WCW Monday Nitro 8/19/96

VK Wallstreet vs Jim DOOGUN

Oh gross.  A rematch no one ever asked for.  Why doesn't Duggan just come to the ring with his fists already taped?  The refs clearly don't think it is cheating when he does it in the middle of a match.  He could save himself some time and bumps b y coming out already taped up, throwing a punch, and getting the win in 10 seconds.  A win-win for everyone.  Tony suggests that Duggan's intelligence is very underrated.  "Are you ribbing?"  For the first time ever, the ref (Nick Patrick) doesn't allow Duggan to use the tape.  IRS steals it and tries to use it, but Duggan had ANOTHER roll of tape that he used to win.  Nick Patrick seemed to not care about the second roll.  

TO THE MEAN GENE.  God, I hope this shit isn't building to a Hogan vs Duggan match.  "Because, Terry, I want to talk to you as a man."  Oh my.  Duggan is SHOOTING.  This isn't Jim DOOGUN talking to Hollywood Hogan.  This is Jim Duggan talking to Terry Bollea.  Macho Man comes to the ring.  Macho just takes over the promo.  Gene shows footage of Hulk hitting Macho with a chair last week.  Macho isn't holding back ever again.  And that's bad news for Hogan.

Larry and Tony talk about how the nWo has really unleashed the sleeping Giant in the Giant.

Robert Eaton vs Chris Benoit

Sir Bob of Eaton.  Stunt Granny is back.  Benoit goes right to work on Eaton, not even giving Woman the chance to fuck him over this week.  Eaton gets wrecked on the floor, getting sent face first into the post and hip tossed.  Eaton has to get dirty to get things back to his advantage.  Alabama Jam misses.  Iron Eagle does not.  That was enough to put Eaton down.


Coverage on the Nick Patrick controversy from COTC.  

TO THE MEAN GENE.  Gene is with Sting and Lex in the back.  They'll be facing Arn/Flair later tonight.  They've got a surprise tonight.  

Disco Inferno vs Scott Norton

Oh, poor Disco.  Disco tries to take it to Norton, but can't avoid dancing.  Nothing Disco does even phases Norton.  Norton wins with a shoulder breaker followed by a divorce court followed by a Fujiwara arm bar.


TO THE MEAN GENE.  Gene is with Teddy Long and Ice Train.  Teddy claims that Norton never beat Ice Train and that the ref (Nick Patrick) gave up for Train.  "I ain't always gonna be walking around here looking like a mommy, baby."

Steven Regal vs Dean Malenko

Oh shit.  Regal does a wacky arm drag from the mat.  Oh you cunts.  Show 9 minutes of IRS vs Duggan, but go to a break a minute into Regal vs Dean.  Coming back from break, after some flashy technical shit, Regal hits a stiff enzuigiri.  Regal has been controlling most of the match.  TMF gets back into it with a springboard dropkick to the back of the head and follows with a big German suplex.  A second with a bridge.  This all gets Regal all pissy.  After a series of reversals and exchanges, TMF wins with a la magistral cradle.  


TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE.  The Horsemen are the guests.  Arn don't give no fucks about someone not liking him.


Public Enemy vs Nasty Boys

Bischoff talks about the WWF suing WCW.  What a weird thing to bring up on screen.  Oh hey, FUCK YOUR SPLIT SCREEN BULLSHIT.  PE end up putting themselves through a table and the Nastys win.

TO THE NASTY GENE.  God.  Duggan and Nasty Boys promos.  This show.  "We've known for many years that you have been hangin and bangin with Hulk Hogan."  Hogan does what he wants, just like the Nasty Boys.

Bischoff makes it clear that no one in WCW is paranoid of the nWo.  Maybe it is just a coincidence, but Bischoff is wearing black and white.  

DDP vs Chavo Guerrero Jr

Revenge for Eddie.  I bet Chavo misses all of that hair.  Chavo hits a big plancha and almost face plants into the guard rail.  Chavo goes shoulder first into the ring post early on and DDP spends the rest of the match focusing on it.  Bateaster Bomb.  DDP pulls up for no reason.  DDP goes for the Kanyon Cutter.  Chavo reverses it into a back slide for the win.  DDP hits a Kanyon Cutter after the match.  BANG!  DDP then takes Nick Patrick's belt and begins whipping Chavo.  Randy Anderson runs in and stops DDP, and then confronts Patrick on why he didn't stop DDP.

TO THE MEAN GENE.  Gene calls Nick out on this.  Nick says if he was a police officer and came upon a scene like that by himself, would he go in or wait for back up?  Nick says the main cause of all these issues are because of Gene causing problems.  

American Males vs Harlem Heat WCW Tag Team Championships

It was 11 months ago that the Males upset HH to win the titles.  Heat attack before the bell.  Nick Patrick is the ref again.  Riggs is immediately the FIP.  This is the first time Riggs has been on Nitro since being part of the nWo beat down at Disney.  Buff gets shoved off the ropes by Booker right into a powerslam from Stevie.  Titles retained.


Arn Anderson/Ric Flair vs Sting/Lex Luger

I wonder what the big surprise is.  Sting wants Mongo and Benoit in the ring as well.  

TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE.  Gene is now in the ring with the Horsemen, Sting, and Lex.  The big surprise is that Sting is offering a truce to join together in the War Games to take on the nWo.  He makes an impassioned plea saying that these 4 represent WCW more than any other 4 guys in the company, and they are the only 4 in the ring that really KNOW what War Games is all about.  "You can't bring all these jigglin' pecs and all these show muscles to War Games."  Arn wants to know if Sting can let go of the Little Stingers dig down deep into the muck of what it takes to win the War Games.  Flair will agree to the team if Mongo and Benoit agree to it.  Mongo and Benoit will stand behind any decision Arn and Flair make.  


THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PLAYED FOR BY THE NEW WORLD ORDER.  It's just Hall and Nash hanging out in Denver.  Shits on Sting and Lex, and especially the Booty Man.  

The Giant vs Randy Savage

Macho attacks with a chair during Giant's entrance.  It doesn't really matter much.  The match is thrown out before it even starts.  Macho low blows out of a chokeslam.  He throws Jimmy out of the ring and then fights off the DoD before running away when the numbers game gets too much.  Giant gets pissed, jumps over the top rope, and runs to the back.


Man, BOTH of the main matches on the card never even happened.  Back to back, too.  That seems awfully shitty for the TV audience and the arena audience.  The show was really weak outside of Regal/TMF and what might have been Sting's best WCW promo.  Really good segment all around from Lex, Sting, and Arn.  But still, advertised 2 big matches and neither happened.  Nasty Boys.  IRS.  Duggan.  Come on, WCW.  Fuck.  No live nWo.