WCW Monday Nitro 11/13/95

Well, the title is held up.  Macho at least is off the beach and not hanging out with with homeless dudes.  What will happen tonight?  

TO...what the fuck.  Hulk Hogan is somewhere, wearing a black mask and a black cloak, holding a sword and rambling.  What the fuck is going on?  Why is there an animatronic rat on a tombstone?  Why is Hulk wearing that mask?  Where did he get that giant sword?  What the fuck is going on?  "Macho Man, from the love of Hulkamania to you, MOOSH fast, move quick, bring me the head of Meng on a silver platter!"  Boy, when I thought Darkside Hogan couldn't get more stupid.  What in the flying fuck was that?


Why didn't Bischoff even talk about how weird that was?

Meng vs Randy Savage

"From the Darkside of Venice Beach, California".  First off, Macho is from Florida.  Secondly, Macho is already kind of on the dark side anyway, is he not?  Macho attacks from the crowd.  Sullivan gets involved and gets dropped.  Macho wasn't cleared to wrestle last week, but now he's back and his badly injured arm isn't even wrapped.  Probably because he took a walk on the Darkside, brother, yeah.  North of Hell and South of Mars, yeah.  North East of the Danger Zone, yeah, uh huh, yeaaah.  Meng chops the shit out of Macho and then hits some back leg round side twist cravat savat kicks.  What feels like 70 chops.  Then he misses a diving headbutt.  Meng gets bumped into Jimmy Hart.  Macho wins with the elbow.  Shark Attack!  Lex Luger also comes out and they attack the injured arm.  

Chris Benoit vs Kensuke Sasaki

Of course they spell Kensuke wrong.  I expect at least a few chops.  Benoit's mullet is a little more under control.  Lariat.  Big suplex from Kensuke.  Powerslam.  He's beating the piss out of Benoit.  A lot of weird audio levels in this.  Benoit fires off the Rolling Reich, ending with a dragon suplex for the win.  Kensuke looked good and has a title match against Sting at an upcoming NJPW show.  Bischoff can't count, as he calls the second German the third.  The second German was particularly gross.  At the end of the match, Eric says Benoit is the newest member of the Horsemen.  Yet he doesn't come out to Horsemen music, doesn't flash the sign, and the other three are no where to be found.


Saturday Night has Eddie vs Benoit, Sting vs Bunkhouse Buck, and That Mother Fucker in action.

Johnny B. Badd vs Eddie Guerrero WCW Television Championship

Eddie's first title shot in WCW.  LOL Mongo and Bischoff both had no idea where the Badd Blaster was.  Brain had to remind them that DDP stole it.  Bischoff, you WRITE THE SHOW.  Come on.  Code of Honor is followed.  Bischoff says that he thinks Johnny will try to keep as much distance as possible from Eddie.  No, he should keep Eddie as close as possible and grounded so he can't use his speed and flying abilities.  They have a stalemate of holds and counters.  Badd comes in the ring with a leg drop over the ropes for 2.  Badd seems kind of heely so far.  Walk up rana from Eddie.  Superplex is countered.  Eddie rolls through the super sunset flip.  Badd rolls through that, and Eddie rolls through that.  Eddie goes to the floor and Johnny comes out with a tope.  He can't complete the splash back in the ring.  A lot of awkwardness in this.  Eddie's too fast for Johnny and it fucks up his timing.  Eddie gets hit with a punch, which Eric says is uncharacteristic of Badd.  WHAT THE FUCK?  That's been his main offensive move for the last 4 years.  And now throwing a punch is out of the ordinary for him?  Both guys lose their tempers and brawl on the mat, both throwing cheap shots at each other.  The ref gets knocked down.  Fans support Eddie more than Johnny.  It tempers settle and it goes back to the wrasslin.  2 minutes remaining.  Johnny hits a tombstone late into the match for 2.  "There's been more 2 counts in this match than an identical twin convention!"  Eddie hits a tornado DDT with less than 60 seconds left.  I'm pretty sure we went from 25 seconds to 30 seconds left.  Mid ring collision.  Time runs out as the fists fly once again.  Time limit draw.  Title retained.  I don't think these guys have any chemistry at all.


We're told that Hogan will be back next week and wants to face....STING!  

TO THE MEAN GENE.  Jimmy, Giant, and Sullivan are the guests.  Jimmy shows off his poor grammar skills.  Kevin Sullivan has been working for TEN YEARS to end Hulkamania.  He's been working on it since Hulk beat the Iron Sheik it seems.  Circumstances really worked out for Hulk and Jimmy to jump to WCW while Sullivan was working there.  Both Mean Gene and Jimmy Hart are taller than Sullivan.  Giant is going to win WW3 and stay champion FOREVER.  

Dean Malenko vs Sting

I don't know why Bischoff is so angry about Brain doing deal with NJPW, which WCW already has had a working relationship with for years.  He's very upset about the idea of Japanese wrestlers in the company or something.  Mongo basically buries Dean for being so much smaller than Sting, saying it's ridiculous that he'd have a shot.  Bischoff counters and eventually Mongo changes his mind since his boss just shut him up on TV.  Dean hits a low dropkick and sticks with the leg work.  He's still in control after a break.  He's still in control after the break.  Another low dropkick.  Great German suplex from Dean.  Dean misses a dropkick.  Sting misses a Stinger Splash.  Missile dropkick!  Sting wins by countering the Cloverleaf with a small package.  I don't know if this was a title match.  Sting didn't have it with him for the second week in a row and nothing was mentioned, so I'll assume it wasn't one.  


TO THE MEAN GENE.  Gene tells Sting about Hulk wanting a match next week.  What's going on with you, Sting?!?  Sting has no problems with Hulk.  He let it slide when Hulk called him a little dog waiting on the porch.  Sting is the big dog in WCW.  You can look at the list of guys Sting has taken down over the years and he's not going to back down from Hulk Hogan.  

Next week has Hulk vs Sting and...that's it I guess.


Hard to go wrong with Dean/Eddie/Benoit on the show.  Dean got to look great against Sting.  Controlled most of the match despite huge difference in size and rankings, countered the death lock and Stinger Splash, and Sting had to win with a roll up.  Kind of interesting to have Kensuke lose when he has a title match with Sting in a week or two, but Sting hasn't even had the US Championship with him for 3 weeks.  I have no fucking idea what was going on with Hulk, his mask, his cloak, and his sword.  That's the weirdest shit.