WWE Summerslam 2002
Kurt Angle vs Rey Mysterio
God damn, what an opener. And this is Rey's DEBUT PPV in WWE. And he starts it by jumping Angle from behind like a dirty coward. Kurt not having any of that lucha fuckery is great. It's 9 minutes of pretty much (total) non stop action between two dudes arguably at their peaks. Kurt won after countering a super rana with the ankle lock. Excellent opener.
TO THE BACK. Stephanie McMahon is talking to a stagehand and sends him to tell Bischoff to top the opener. But SWERVE: Bischoff was in her office. They are on neutral ground and will be sharing the office tonight.
Chris Jericho vs Ric Flair
Shout out to Thunder 1998. Damn, Ric was in pretty good shape here. Looking quite jacked. Although, JR saying he's one of the best athletes in WWE into his 50s is lol. Too bad these guys have never had good chemistry, and they're following such a hot, fast paced high spot match. Jericho taps out clean in the middle to the figure four. Lmao at going from beating Austin/Rock in the same night, headlining WM, to being the first guy in a decade to lose to 53 year old Ric Flair in the second match of the show.
TO THE BACK. Paul Heyman talks to Brock Lesnar about killing Hulk Hogan's career, and the same thing is going to happen to The Rock.
Eddie Guerrero vs Edge
Eddie came back into the company clean and sober (as long as you don't count steroids), did a mini feud with Rock, and was all set up to do one with Steve Austin and then...Austin walked out. And now he's wrestling Edge. Gross. Edge's shoulder becomes the focus of the match. And Eddie is pitbull like in his attack on that shoulder. The shitty tattoo shoulder. For some reason, the third match on the show has two finisher kick outs. Edge won with a spear (with the bad shoulder) OUTTA NOWHERE. Probably one of Edge's better non-gimmick singles matches.
TO THE COACH. Coach speaks to the Un-Americans, who will be defending their titles against BookDust.
Booker T/Goldust vs Christian/Lance Storm WWE Tag Team Championships
Goldust is quickly FIP in this. Friggin' Nick Patrick missing those tags. Kind of interesting that Lance went from facing Edge last year to teaming with Christian this year. Also interesting how great Goldy was in 2002 after being pretty shitty since 1997. This is very much a traditional Southern tag, which is pretty dope considering 3 of the 4 have a lot of experience in those, and the other guy made his career being a tag guy. "This is street justice here with Booker T." Um. Jim. Please. Booker is a millionaire who lives in a mansion in Houston. Booker gets that hot tag, and of course there's a ref bump shortly after. Lmao, double ax kick! Test ran out and hit Booker with the big boot after Booker had pinned Christian for like 10 seconds. What a SWERVE! Titles retained.
TO NEW YORK. Jamie Noble has Nidia pick out a dude to make out with.
TO THE BACK. Bischoff and Stephanie talk about WOMEN IN THIS BUSINESS. A number of sexual innuendos.
Chris Benoit vs Rob Van Dam WWE Intercontinental Championship
Just a normal match where Benoit punishes Rob, and Rob responds by kicking him hard in the mouth. Eventually, RVD's shoulder becomes the main focus of Benoit. After countering a super back drop, RVD won with the frog splash, bringing the title back to Raw.
TO THE BACK. Bischoff rubs it in Steph's face. Man, he has flubbed lines in every segment. Steph then gives him the sex eyes and lets out a weirdly deep laugh.
The Undertaker vs Test
Taker was champ a few months ago. What the heck? And for some reason, he seems extra motivated to show he's still got it. Dude is jumping all over the place. And Test is taking some big bumps, too. A very solid HOSS match. Christian and Lance came out, got chokeslammed, and then Taker kicked out of the big boot. USA USA USA! Taker won with the tombstone and celebrated with the American flag.
Triple H vs Shawn Michaels Street Fight
HBK's first WWE match since Wrestlemania 14. Considering he's been out for 4 years, and this is against a man he considered to be his brother, he seems obviously upbeat and unworried. In fact, he attacks first. THE HEART BREAK KID IS BACK! He dominates the first few minutes of the match, too. Looks like he hasn't lost a step. Very tan, too. Then HHH hits a back breaker. AW SONOFABITCH. HHH then ruthlessly sticks to trying to destroy Shawn's SPINE. A DDT on a chair busts HBK open, and then Hunter whips HBK with his own belt. Some classic babyface selling from HBK in this. And the crowd is more into this than they've been into anything else so far. JR repeatedly calls HHH an "egotist" instead of egomaniac, which is valid, but I don't think anyone had used "egotist" since the Great Depression. BACK BREAKER ON A CHAIR SOMEBODY STOP THE DAMN MATCH. But HBK won't stay down. A superkick to a chair busts HHH open something fierce. This was the start of their rivalry of who could blade the deepest, and HHH definitely won this round. The pop for the kip up. A LADDER. MY GOD! A SPLASH THROUGH A TABLE. HHH counters the superkick with the pedigree, but HBK turns that into a roll up. HBK IS BACK! Speaking of back, HHH blasted HBK in the back and then neck with the sledgehammer. "Oh no. Oh no. OH NO. OH NO!"
Fink was about to say something when Trish Stratus came out. Lmao, Fink heeling on the Long Island skanks. She flirts with him and then Lillian Garcia shows up OUTTA NOWHERE to low blow him. Well, that was something.
Brock Lesnar vs The Rock WWE Undisputed Championship
Rock sprints to the ring, thinking he'd get the jump on Brock, only to get fucking thrown. A LOUD ROCKY SUCKS chant immediately breaks out. But then a ROCKY ROCKY chant breaks out as Brock tries to pulverize Rock's ribs. Brock is so freakishly strong. He's lifting Rock like he's a small child. Paul Heyman gets involved quite a bit, which seems pretty unnecessary since Brock is so much more physically dominating than Rock. The story of this match is Brock smashing Rock, Rock trying to fire up, then getting chucked around like a cruiserweight. Lmao at Tazz's reaction to a double nip up. "That was cool, man, hehe." Such a simple mind. This match also definitely did not need Brock using a chair. This has a very weird atmosphere of the crowd being split on Rock, supportive of Brock, but Brock cheating and Rock heeling on the crowd at times. But then the crowd is booing Heyman and popping for Rock putting him through a table. And then loud LESNAR SUCKS chants break out. Shit is weird. ELECTRIC, you could say. Brock AND Rock kick out of Rock Bottoms. Brock counters the Rock Bottom with the F5. BROCK LESNAR IS THE NEW CHAMPION.
From top to bottom, not only one of the best (if not the best) Summerslam card, but one of the best WWE PPVs of all time. Absolutely stacked from top to bottom, and even the dud of the show (Flair/Jericho) featured a hot crowd and what would be considering a great TV match. Angle/Rey is one of the best openers of all time, Brock vs Rock was a star making performance with an incredible crowd, although it was overbooked. HBK's return is wonderful, even if maybe they went a few minutes too long. A masterclass in babyface selling.