WWF Smackdown 6/7/01
Which WCW star will invade tonight? Will Vince McMahon make good on his claims that WCW will not be a disruptive force in his company?
Kurt Angle vs Hardcore Holly King Of The Ring Qualifier
As reigning king, why does Kurt have to qualify for the tournament? Shouldn't the king get an automatic bye into the tournament itself? As king, what is stopping him from calling off the whole tournament and becoming dictator? God damn, Hardcore is fucking huge. It's hard to believe that Sparky Plug lasted so long in WWE. He dominates Kurt for the opening minutes, appearing to have Kurt's number. Things change with a belly to belly on the floor. Very stiff and rough match. Kurt goes for the moonsault, which in the past broke Holly's arm. Bob gets his knees up, but Kurt kind of landed it anyway. Kurt wins with the Angle Slam to gain entry into the KOTR.
TO THE BACK. Undertaker is pacing around the locker room. He tells Kane that he's going to wait for Shane and "jack his ass up" if he doesn't get the answers he wants. "That don't sound good."
TO THE PARKING LOT. Taker is waiting for Shane O.
Steve Austin comes to the ring to talk about getting his tag titles back with his new partner: Vince McMahon. He can beat both of the Chrises any day of the week.
TO THE BACK. Molly and Spike do their puppy love stuff. They go in for a kiss, only for Saturn to pop up in between them. "Monkeys speak sign language so they can tell dolphins they love them." Elsewhere, Vince is on the phone with someone talking about winning the tag titles. Regal and Tajiri come in. Regal has made it clear that WCW won't be able to get into the building tonight, but Vince wants to let them in so Taker can get ahold of Shane.
Jeff Hardy vs Jerry Lynn WWF Light Heavyweight Championship
Jerry's music is so bad. Basically, he won the title on Heat, and defends it only on C shows. He's only made 2 appearances as champion on Raw/Smackdown since winning the title in April, so you can be pretty sure that he's not beating Jeff Hardy. Lita is out with Jeff. Jeff wins with the swanton, and you'll never see a bigger reaction to a LHW title change. Matt runs down to congratulate his bro. Now both are singles champions (Matt is European champion), and Matt spanks both Lita and Jeff.
Another video of Sara Taker, this time getting into her (giant) truck at some kind of store. The operator of the camera was in the passenger seat, but someone was clearly putting the car in gear, so that means there are two people involved in this thing. Hm.
TO THE PARKING LOT. Taker is waiting for Shane. A limo arrives. It's WCW 1. Shane isn't in the limo, though. It is someone else, who Taker seems shocked to see, but tells them they picked the wrong night to make themselves famous. The limo drives off and we never see who was in the limo. BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!?
TO THE BACK. Tajiri accidentally ruins Molly and Spike's kiss. Am I to believe that they still haven't kissed? Elsewhere, Austin and Debra are talking about Jericho/Benoit as tag champions. It's eating Steve up. EATING HIM ALIVE. Elsewhere elsewhere, Mick Foley heads to the ring.
Kane vs X-Pac WWF Intercontinental Championship
A rekindling of the feud. That was a fire pun. Go fuck yourself. The cast on Kane's arm has again been reduced. I'm not sure that really works. X-Pac only gets offense when Justin or Albert interfere. X-Pac hits the X Factor and bronco buster. It didn't matter. Kane hit a crazy plancha on Albert. Kane wins with the powerbomb. Title retained. X-Factor beats on Kane after the match. Albert lays him out with the A-Bomb.
TO THE BACK. Mick Foley talks to Chris Jericho about what happened on Raw. He apologizes for costing Jericho the title with a copy of his book.
Commissioner Regal heads to the ring. He is very upset with Mick Foley trying to ruin the main event of Raw. He demands to be treated with respect, god damn it. He really hates Mick Foley. Of course, this brings Mick Foley out. For some reason, Cole was totally surprised Foley came out, even though we already saw Foley backstage twice. Why wouldn't he come out when a dude is running him down for 5 minutes? Mick points out that when he was commissioner, the WWF was fun to watch. It was stupid in 2001, and it was stupid in 2016 when Shane came back and said the previous 8 years of WWE TV sucked. Absolutely stupid to tell your audience your product sucks. After multiple Shakespeare references, Mick says he's going to besmirch Regal with Mr. Socko. Regal calls for security to get rid of Foley.
TO THE BACK. Security escort Foley away. He made friends with them all and plugs his back some more. Elsewhere, Shane runs into Test backstage. Test things the Invasion is going GREAT. Wtf, dude. You're a WWF guy. Why are you excited about WCW invading? Shane is looking for Taker. Test advises against it.
Dudley Boyz vs Radicalz
If Terri and Dean are so worried about Saturn's brain, why are they letting him wrestle? Why is the WWF letting him wrestle with a clear brain injury? This all confuses me. Everyone knows he has a brain issue right now. No one is even trying to stop him from wrestling and getting more brain trauma. Why does no one care about Perry's brain? Saturn gets distracted with the Dudleys' glasses and ends up doing the wassup headbutt on his own partner. "D-VON...GET THE MUFFINS! You're welcome." Saturn gets pinned after a 3D.
TO THE BACK. Molly and Spike are "finally alone". Except for the fucking camera man standing a foot away. Kaientai arrive to interrupt the kiss, because they hate love, as they are EVIL...but they'd be okay to watch, as they don't get out much and are very lonely. Elsewhere, Shane finds Kane. Taker finds Shane and starts beating his ass. Kane pulls him off. He doesn't know anything. Elsewhere elsewhere, the Hardys leave to go party. Elsewhere elsewhere elsewhere, Edge and Christian are jealous of the Hardys and then argue over being in the KOTR. It sounds like they just broke up.
TO THE BACK. Vince prepares for his match when Regal comes in to congratulate him on his title win tonight. Regal guarantees a victory for McMahon.
Test vs Edge King Of The Ring Qualifier
Blond Canadians with stringy long hair EXPLODE. Christian distracts Test, which allows Edge to work on the leg for the rest of the match. It didn't stop Test from doing all of his power moves or the big boot. Edge wins with the Impaler DDT and advances to the KOTR.
TO THE BACK. The Canadians Chris head to the ring.
Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho vs The APA
Regal hired the APA to have a non-title match with Benoit/Jericho before Austin/Vince's title match. Very smart, commissioner. Wouldn't it make more sense for the APA to just come out and beat the shit out of Benoit/Jericho with chairs or something? Like...why bother having a real match. A very short and ugly one, at that. Benoit hits Faarooq with a DDT, which is followed up with a Lionsault for the win.
Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho vs Big Show/Rhyno
Lol, another warm up match. "They're getting SWERVED big time, the tag team champions are!" Another short, ugly match. Show was trapped in the Crippler Walls of Jericho when Rhyno blasted both men with a chair. Which, again, is what the APA should have done in the first place. Multiple GORE GORE GORES and chokeslams after the match.
Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho vs Steve Austin/Vince McMahon WWF Tag Team Championships
Lol, Vince survives the crossface for like 45 seconds. Jericho was basically taken out right away by Austin, so Benoit is left again to carry the team. The only guy I've seen in main events that is less coordinated than Vince is CM Punk. Vince wasn't a wrestler or athlete, though, so what's Punk's excuse? Austin hitting superplexes and shit. Great for your recently repaired neck, I'm sure. McMahon taps to the Walls of Jericho, but he wasn't the legal man. Earl is busy with that, so he misses that Austin had Benoit pinned with the stunner. Then Austin hits the stunner on Jericho. Benoit rolls Austin up (with a handful of tights) to get the win. Titles retained.
The Invasion wasn't progressed at all beyond Shane being revealed to have nothing to do with Sara's stalker, which we don't even know is related to WCW to begin with. There was an invading WCW talent, but we never saw, and Taker sent him away without even a fight. In fact, Taker didn't really seemed to be bothered at all by the idea this talent was definitely going to do a run in at some point, nor did Test seem to be bothered by the Invasion stuff, either. In fact, he was EXCITED about it and thought it was great because it was making Vince mad. Taker especially should have broken his foot off in someone's ass considering the mood he was in and the idea of WCW guys invading his company.
Benoit is again proven to be the far superior member of his team. Not only does he have multiple visual victories over Austin, but now he has an actual pinfall over Austin. Meanwhile, no one seems to give a shit about Jericho. Austin certainly is not bothered by almost losing to him on Raw like he was with Benoit. Edge and Christian have really started their break up, as now both are jealous of each other AND the Hardy Boys.