Friday The 13th Part 6: Jason Lives (1986)


Starring:

Plot: Tommy Jarvis goes to the graveyard to get rid of Jason Voorhees' body once and for all, but inadvertently brings him back to life instead. The newly revived killer once again seeks revenge, and Tommy may be the only one who can defeat him.


This starts with adult Tommy Jarvis and his friend heading to Jason's grave to destroy the body. You see, if they destroy the body, Tommy will stop hallucinating Jason. He even brings the hockey mask, mostly because he's clearly a fucking loon. And they're doing this in a terrible thunderstorm which happens to have no rain. This includes an audio flash back to Tommy chopping Jason up in part 4. "Yeah, fuck you, Jason." Lightning strikes and brings Jason back to life. Like mother fucking Frankenstein. IT'S ALIVE! Of course it only starts raining when Tommy tries to light matches. Tommy's poor friend gets it. Tommy gets away, Jason gets his mask on. The title sequence is A JAMES BOND PARODY! Jason and Bond. A match made in heaven.

 
 

Look, whatever happens to Tommy in this movie is deserved. WHY WOULD YOU WAKE THE BEAST? You dumb son of a bitch. He heads to the sheriff's department. The sheriff knows about him and his history. This sheriff is amazing. He speaks almost entirely in quips and cliches. Sheriff quips. Tommy finds himself locked up for the night. The city doesn't need this Jason shit stirred back up.

Two councilors are driving in the area, trying to find Camp Forrest, the previously named Crystal Lake. Jason was just chilling in the middle of the road, waiting for someone to fuck with him. "I've seen enough horror movies to not trust a guy in a mask." This woman tries to give Jason money. After he killed her boyfriend. Does Jason look like a dude who needs money? Poor American express card, floating away in a muddy, bloody puddle. Where do you think Jason shops? He strikes me as a Menards kind of guy.


The sheriff's daughter and her friends, who are also going to be new counselors, arrive and are told about Jason. Elsewhere, the grave digger freaks out and decides to just refill the grave before anyone notices. "Why'd they have to go and dig up Jason? *Stares directly into the camera* Some folks have a strange idea of entertainment." In case you haven't noticed, this has a lot more comedy and self-awareness than the typical F13. Jokes about horror movie cliches, references to horror directors, and now a comedy paintball scene to give you a Jason fake out. Here is where Jason rips a dude's arm off to get a machete, the force of which sent the guy face first into a smiley face on a tree. Then he looked at the arm, which was still holding the machete. *Laugh track*

 
 

The sheriff escorts Tommy to the edge of his jurisdiction, which is apparently a thing sheriffs do in movies. Although this time, Tommy did try to steal a gun from the sheriff's department, so it seems like he could be arrested validly. Instead, we'll just take the guy to the county line and tell him not to come back. OR ELSE. Tommy, being legitimately crazy, decides to take a detour and lose the cops. "FUCKIN A! What'd I tell ya? Hit the cherries!" Why is Tommy, a clearly fit guy in his either late 20s or early 30s is wearing suspenders? He takes the cops to the graveyard, where that old man has put in WORK, having completely filled in Jason's grave. When Tommy, in cuffs, tells him to dig the grave again, the old man says, "Dig him up? Does he think I'm a farthead?" SMASH CUT TO the kids screaming yes at the campground.

Dang, even the poor old drunk grave digger gets got. Jason, come on. No need for that, friend. Let him be. He just wants to get drunk. Maybe Jason killed him for attempting to litter in the woods. Jason is definitely an environmentalist. Pretty sure that's been covered in previous movies. He was aboard the "global climate change" train back in the 80s. Oh, and the two people who randomly decide to fuck in the woods late at night also get got. Fucking in the woods sounds gross. All the dirt and bugs. PASS.


While walking around in the woods, Jason finds two of the councilors banging in a RV. Of course, this gets his attention. Here he uses his tactical espionage skillz to lure them apart and take them out. Punished Jason. 

 
 

Does Jason just wander around until he finds something to kill? That's what it seems like. It doesn't appear that he's out looking for Tommy or anything. He's just tromping around the woods and killing folks who happen to be there. If you put Jason in an area with no humans, would he still be a killer? Would he leave Siberia and walk into populated towns to kill? Does he NEED to kill, or is it just an animal instinct? 

 
 

Tommy calls into the sheriff only to get his daughter. Who is going to pick him up and hide him, because she wants to bang a crazy dude before she dies. Sheriff finds some of the bodies in the woods and thinks its the work of Tommy, trying to make people think Jason is real again.

 
 

Jason kills the one true QT in the movie, which was a bummer. Jason is not down with the swirl. She didn't even do anything. Jason is just racist. I thought maybe you were a decent guy, Jason, just trying to uphold morality at your camp. But no. You're just a racist prick, ya big jerk ass. He, of course, picks off whoever is left at camp, just to be a dick. These people didn't even do shit. He's just a grumpy old cunt at this point. There is a little girl who Jason stands over, but she prays and he goes away. Maybe Jason is a radical Christian. That would explain some stuff.

 
 

Tommy and Megan conspire and get the deputy at gunpoint (with his own gun) and are free to do whatever. Find Jason. Bang. Idk. The plan is to drown Jason in the lake. Again. IT'S THE ONLY WAY. Jason stages his assault on the camp ground. Sheriff uses his shotgun to put Jason down, but Jason uses his battle armor to survive. Also because bullets don't do shit to him. You can shoot him in the head and it just pises him off. Tommy gets his attention by calling him a BIG PUSSY, and then they literally fight on a lake of fire for a bit, with Jason sinking to the bottom with a big rock chained to his neck. He's dead. OR IS HE? The boat moter to the head probably did the trick. OR DID IT?

 
 

This movie could have been decent. Took a more jokey, self-aware tone, yet all the violence was severely edited down so much that it felt like a TV version. It's very neutered all around. This is the only movie in the entire series to not have nudity, even though there was a sex scene. It is what it is, I suppose.

 
 

In line with the dope Never Sleep Again doc, the same company did a documentary on the entire F13th series. I've included the section that focuses on Jason Lives. You can buy and see the whole doc below:

Crystal Lake Memories: Complete History of Friday the 13th [Blu-ray]
$16.49
Starring Sean S. Cunningham, Corey Feldman, Wes Craven, Robert Englund, Alice Cooper