Spider-Man 2 (2004)


PLOT: Peter Parker is beset with troubles in his failing personal life as he battles a brilliant scientist named Doctor Otto Octavius.

Peter, now a pizza delivery man, is having a hard time making ends meet due to frequently having to do Spiderman stuff. Breh doesn't deliver the pizzas on time and gets fired. Then he gets fired from the Bugle. Who am I? I'm unemployed. He's also missing classes, grades are falling. Breh even forgot his own birthday. Things are still tense between Peter and Harry, MJ is still pining for Peter, and Aunt May is about to loose the house while also being heartbroken over Ben. Meanwhile, everyone is inadvertently guilt tripping the shit out of Peter. Oh, and Peter is behind on his rent. Everyone said being a superhero was awesome!

Now, Peter is writing his big college paper on one Doctor Otto Octavius, who is building a fusion reactor with Oscorp funding. Also, he worked with Peter's professor, Curt Connors. And it just so happens that Harry introduces the two. And then Spiderman and Doc Ock spend the day talking about science and love.

Lmao, Spidey does his SPIDERMAN LAUNDRY AT LOCAL LAUNDRY MATS. On the way to MJ's play, which he promised to be at, Peter gets stuck doing Spiderman stuff. GET IT, SPIDERMAN STUFF IS GETTING IN THE WAY OF PETER STUFF. Even after he waits to see MJ after the play, he's called away by police cars, but not before he can see her kiss her boyfriend. And then he loses his powers. Perhaps, one might say, of a broken heart.

Of course, the next day, Otto's fusion experiment goes haywire, killing his wife, destroying the inhibitor on his robotic arms, leaving Spiderman to pull the plug and somewhat save the day. This leads directly to the best horror scene Raimi had shot in 15 years, as the arms reject and resent being cut off by surgeons. And it's excellent. It even has a chainsaw and a Raimicam shot. 

Doc Ock is now on the loose in NYC, hiding out in a destroyed building on the water, the arms now controlling him. They convince him to continue his project, and the only way to get money is by robbing the nearest bank, of course. A bank Peter and Aunt May happen to be trying to get a loan at. What coincidence. Also a coincidence that he takes Aunt May hostage. And that this old lady can hang from a building for a few minutes via an umbrella. The strength of this old broad is impressive as heck. Spidey saves the bank and May, but Herr Doktor gets away.

Anyway, Peter had a photographer job taking pictures of JJJ's returning astronaut son that night. And what do you know, MJ is his girlfriend. How many Ls can one spider take? More, as it turns out, after MJ tells him she's not going to wait for him anymore, and Harry gets drunk and slaps him. And then MJ gets engaged to JJJJr. AND THEN HE HAS TO TAKE A PICTURE OF THE HAPPY COUPLE. Lmao. 

But wait, there's more: His powers go out on him again. Enough so that he goes to the doctor and more-or-less admits to the doc that he's Spidey. And the doc is like "Hey dawg, you don't have to be Spiderman", and Peter is like, "Oh shit you're right fuck this shit lmao".

"I'm Spiderman no more." 

Lmao, the next day is a happy montage set to RAINDROPS KEEP FALLING ON MY HEAD. He's going to class, going to MJ's play. But he's still too late to convince MJ not to get married. "You can't get off if you don't get on, Peter." 

To continue his work, Harry makes Ock find Spiderman. To find Spiderman, he must find Peter Parker. And he finds Peter at the most inopportune time: A meeting with MJ at a cafe. Omg, just as MJ is about to CALL OFF HER WEDDING for Peter after saying he'd be there for her, now he's changed because he's back to being Spiderman. Ock takes MJ as a hostage this time. I like how fucking stupid everyone is that they can't realize that Peter is Spiderman. Anyway, Ock and Peter brawl all over a train, which Spiderman has to save from falling off the end of the tracks, he barely does, but the effort put into it made him pass out. So the people of the train pass the unmasked Spiderman down the train like Jesus on the cross. It's kind of weird. They all agree to keep his identity a secret, and then Doc Ock shows back up, only for the people of the train to stand in his way. INCLUDING JOEY MOTHAFUCKIN COCO DIAZ, CAWKSUCKA.

ANYWAYZ, Ock delivers Spiderman to Harry and gets his tritium. Then Harry finds out Peter is Spiderman, but things are bigger than a Harry Peter. Spidey goes to stop Ock before he can get the machine that will blow up most of New York up and running again. Things end not in a big brawl, but Peter talking Ock down and convincing him of the error of his ways. And it works. Otto sacrifices himself, Peter saves MJ once again, and now she knows he's Spiderman as well.

Harry hallucinates seeing Norman, then stumbles across all the Green Goblin toys. MJ leaves JJJJr. at the altar. Peter turns her down anyway. Lmao. He still makes out with her, though.

Raimi really Raimi'd up the Raimi in this Sam Raimi motion picture directed by Sam Raimi. Complete with full on horror scenes and abusing his main actor. The first 40 or so minutes of the movie are pretty dour, as it just repeatedly shows that being Spiderman fucking sucks, not only for Peter, but everyone around him. It's a theme that's repeated throughout the movie, but especially prominent in the first 40 minutes. Once Doc Ock is introduced, the movie takes off and really doesn't stop outside of a few brief lulls that exist again to reinforce how hard it is to be Spiderman. 

It's a little less hammy (but only because Willam Defoe is the ham master), but everything else is improved upon from the first movie. Better action, better CGI, better practical effects, and so forth. Still dope. If there is perhaps a complaint to be made it's how it widen the scope of the franchise, which means it had to set up multiple plot lines for future movies (some of which never got paid off), making it a bit less simple and self-contained as the original. Still, A+ comic book movie.