007 Skyfall (2012)

Starring:

Plot:

Bond's loyalty to M is tested when her past comes back to haunt her. Whilst MI6 comes under attack, 007 must track down and destroy the threat, no matter how personal the cost.

Ah shit it's an alien!  Oh.  It's just Bond. Someone has stolen a hard drive and killed some of MI6's men.  A chase happens.  Yo what, does this dude really have The Patriot from MGS3?  It goes through the markets in cars, to roofs on motorcycles, to feet on a moving train. Bond uses a digger to rip open a cable car and jump into it. Then adjust his cuff links. He's also been shot.  The chase on the train is now a fight on the train. Bond's partner is ordered to take a shot, even though it isn't clean and might hit Bond.  And it does hit Bond.  Who falls off a bridge into a river. Then down a water fall.  So he should be dead.

Title sequence is Bond underwater.  And wet ladies.  And sand.  And stuff like that.  With a song by Adele.  It's pretty dope.  Could be the best song/title combo.

This is the end
Hold your breath and count to ten
Feel the earth move and then
Hear my heart burst again

For this is the end
I’ve drowned and dreamt this moment
So overdue I owe them
Swept away, I’m stolen

Let the sky fall
When it crumbles
We will stand tall
Face it all together

Let the sky fall
When it crumbles
We will stand tall
Face it all together
At skyfall
That skyfall

Skyfall is where we start
A thousand miles and poles apart
Where worlds collide and days are dark
You may have my number, you can take my name
But you’ll never have my heart

Let the sky fall (let the sky fall)
When it crumbles (when it crumbles)
We will stand tall (we will stand tall)
Face it all together

Let the sky fall (let the sky fall)
When it crumbles (when it crumbles)
We will stand tall (we will stand tall)
Face it all together
At skyfall

(Let the sky fall
When it crumbles
We will stand tall)

Where you go I go
What you see I see
I know I’d never be me
Without the security
Of your loving arms
Keeping me from harm
Put your hand in my hand
And we’ll stand

Let the sky fall (let the sky fall)
When it crumbles (when it crumbles)
We will stand tall (we will stand tall)
Face it all together

Let the sky fall (let the sky fall)
When it crumbles (when it crumbles)
We will stand tall (we will stand tall)
Face it all together
At skyfall

Let the sky fall
We will stand tall
At skyfall
Oh

M has to meet with her boss.  The hard drive had a list of almost every NATO agent in the field in the world.  Oh fuck.  She's getting fired. Well, forced to retire. Oh fuck.  the hard drive is being traced back to MI6.  Oh no.  MY GOD.  From M's computer.  SHIT. The computer has been hacked. Then a bomb blows up her office.  Shit just got real.

Elsewhere, Bond is banging some hot lady and apparently lives on a beach. Bond sees the report on TV and returns home.  M's home.  He's broken in again. He has to go through the tests to make sure he's cleared for work. He's not doing so hot. The agent who shot him is totally the new Moneypenny.  I can tell by their flirting. Anyway, M's boss doesn't want Bond back out.  She fudged his test scores for him.  He's not ready.  They're playing the "too old for this shit" card pretty hard considering Bond has only been a 00 for 6 years.  Already talking about retirement.

The new Q is introduced.  He's like 20.  The only gadgets are a biometric gun and a radio tracker.  There are some cheeky references to the ridiculousness of the gadgets of old and old Q.  I'm not sure how to feel about it.


Bond's mission sends him to China to fuck up the dude who shot him and stole the hard drive.  He finds him. This is a beautiful looking film. The bad dude is setting up a gun in an all glass floor of a high rise.  All around are reflections of sea life and purples and blues from LCD screens.  It's wonderful. Bond lets the guy take his shot (and the people who were around seemed to be expecting this dude to get shot in the head while looking at a painting) and then they have a fight scene that is almost all in silhouette.  Just exquisite cinematography work here.  The guy falls out of the window before Bond can get info, but he does see a casino chip for Macau.

New Moneypenny shows up.  Bond lets her shave his face with a straight razor. Then he goes to the casino in Macau.  This movie is too good looking. He cashes in the chip and offers to save a high class hooker.  Then he fights with the bodyguards and one gets eaten by a kimono dragon.  One that is FAR too big.  Then he bangs the girl in the shower on a boat because...he's James Bond, I guess.

At this point, over an hour into the movie, we're introduced to the villain, a former MI6 agent who used to be M's favorite.  Who also wants to fuck Bond.  As in have sex with him.  Bond implies that perhaps he's blown a dude.  For Queen and Country. The evil lair is actually a deserted island.  Bad Dude spends his life offering his skills and training to the highest bidder.  Presumably, he could do missions for good if he was offered the money. Little did he know that Bond had the radio transmitter on him.   

M meets with Silva, who explains how he was held captive and tortured to protect M and her secrets.  He took his cyanide capsule and it didn't work.  It just left him scarred, mentally and physically. Q just...hooks up the hard drive to his PC and infects the whole MI6 network.  Stupid git. Obviously, Silva escapes.  Boy, MI6 has put on a real shit show for this movie. Silva disguises himself as a cop on the tube and heads for the parliament building, where M is being questioned. You see, Silva has the whole underground system of London booby trapped and rigged.  Bad shit is going to happen.

Silva breaks into the hearing with his other cop goons and shoots a whole bunch of people.  M's boss saves her from getting shot, but takes a bullet to the shoulder in the process.  Bond takes M and they decide to go underground.  Not actually underground since Silva has that all rigged, but off the grid.  By switching to the OG Aston Martin (which has no tracers) and threatening to use the ejector seat if she keeps bitching at him.  Lovely little moment.  Q and M's assistant set up a trail of fake breadcrumbs that only Silva will know how to follow.  They end up at Skyfall, the old Bond home. The old grounds keeper is still there.  All that's left are 2 guns, some dynamite, and a few knives.

The 3 of them MacGyver up the house. Then they wait.  And wait.  M says, "I fucked this up, didn't I?", which I believe is the first time an f-bomb had been dropped in the entire series.  The assault starts.  All the booby traps work.  Then Silva rides in on a helicopter. Of course. M has been hit. Bond escapes as the house explodes.  M and Groundskeeper Willy had previously taken off through a hidden tunnel.  Silva is after them. Bond has to cross a frozen lake.  He opts to take one of Silva's men down with him.  Into...THE ABYSS.

Silva catches up to M in a church.  He wants her to shoot both of them in the head at the same time.  Luckily. Bond arrives in time to literally stab him in the back.  And then M dies in Bond's arms. The film ends with the gang moving into the OG Universal Exports office, with a that lady revealing herself to be Miss Moneypenny, the padded doors, and Voldemort as the new M. 

 

Bond Girls:

Judi Dench as M is really the only one that matters. 

 

I liked this movie a LOT.  Such a beautiful film.  Just gorgeous. Not getting that cinematographer back for the next movie is a huge mistake. The relationship between Bond and M is the main focus of the movie and it is really wonderful.  There are a lot of little shout outs to the original series, but not in the extremely obnoxious way that Die Another Day did it.  This works as the end of a trilogy AND the start of a new one.  It's dope all around.  Not even mad they dropped everything about Quantum.

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