Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991)

Star Trekking:

Plot:

Captain Kirk learns to be less of a racist prick as the space Berlin Wall falls and the original crew finally get sent out to pasture for being old and paunchy. 

 

LOL at this Star Wars knock off music.  And then a planet explodes. Sulu is the new captain I guess. Oh.  I guess it was a Klingon moon and they don't want anyone to come near. So because of all of this, they're going to let the Klingons join the Federation or something. Since they only have 50 earth years left or something.  This is boring as shit already. Captain Kirk is both racist as fuck and quite the ham.

Kirk invites the Klingons aboard for dinner.  Even though he's racist as fuck, thinks they are animals, and should be left to die.  Some of the crew members also appear to be racist as fuck. Kirk seems to be pretty pissy about Spock speaking for him. Awkward dinner.  With racism and genocide charges thrown out.

spock.gif

Torpedoes are shot from what appears to be the Enterprise, but it was actually Daft Punk.  SWERVE.  They board the Klingon ship and start shooting.  Why do Klingons have blood made out of Alex Mack? Wait.  The Enterprise DID fire.  Klingons are going to fire back, but Kirk surrenders.  He and Bones beam aboard to help. They're promptly arrested.

THIS IS SO BORING.  JEEEEEEEEZUS.  This trial.  Everything.  Shit.  They're guilty.  Also, LOL at the judge being a Palpatine knock off.

The rest of the crew tries to figure out what is happening.  Spock believes there was a ship beneath the Enterprise.

 

Anyway, Kirk and Bones are sent to space Siberia.  Kirk of course immediately gets into a fight because he's a raging cunt that everyone hates AND has a bounty on him.  And he's fighting...Ivan Ooze? And it turns out, Ooze keeps his balls in his knees.

WTF, Christian Slater OUTTA NOWHERE.  Chewbacca just morphed into a little girl.  I don't like this movie. The shapeshifter morphs into...Captain Kirk.  So we get a Kirk vs Kirk battle.  Shatner on Shatner going FULL Shatner. Anyway, they get saved and beamed back to the Enterprise.  And there is still a half hour left.  Fuck.

As it turns out, Lady Spock was the one responsible for all of this shit. I believe Spock mind rapes her in front of everyone. Wait.  It was the Klingons ALL ALONG.  Shooting at themselves to start a war.  SWERVE.  Oh, and their tracking signal is totally aped from Predator.  Oh well.  The good guys save the day and Kirk learns to be not so racist.

The crew gives a final send off and the movie ends with the signatures from the crew flying over the screen.


This movie sucked.  Star Track is for NERDS.  God.  So fucking boring and lame.