Fabulous

Introducing The Fabulous Ones

Jackie Fargo talks about all the things he's been able to do since he retired. He still has the itch, though. He talks about seeing these terrible Fabulous Fargos imitators that Jimmy Hart had. He's talking about the New York Dolls. I believe he's probably drunk and is just rambling. It's awkward. A phone rang during this. He's not a manager, he's a consultant. He's got two guys that he's going to give the high hat and tux to. They're tough. They can fight. "You little stinky stink. YOU STINK!" This is uncomfortable. Like when you see your grandma drunk and unloading family drama or something. So awkward. Then the reveal of Stan Lane and Steve Keirn as the Fabulous Ones, which is shot with a strobe light in a black room and them giving the creepiest smiles. All 3 seem like serial killers. Then shots of them without shirts (but with bow ties) so we can see their muscles. If there wasn't music to this, you'd definitely think it was a creepy gay porn where the guys are forced into it while their mothers are held hostage. Now they're in fur coats, still without shirts, but still with bow ties.

Jackie Fargo talks about Roughhouse Fargo

I don't hear anything about Roughhouse, but instead a music video set to Sharp Dressed Man, which I covered on the Pro Wrestling USA show I did. Okay, now he's talking about Roughhouse. Roughhouse was allegedly insane and lived on "The Funny Farm". We're shown some clips. Quite sure Fargo is also drunk for this.

Music Video (Only the Lucky Ones)

Training montage! Of note, they come to the gym in their top hats and do all of their training in speedos. This is giving me a boner. Gay porn is less homoerotic than this. For real. Tremendous.

Music Video (Keep Me Satisfied)

This appears to be a montage of in ring highlights.

Music Video (If Looks Could Kill)

This is also mostly an in ring montage.

Fabulous Ones News feature

That's right, they were covered on the local news for how over they were. Only women were talked to, though. There were also brief interviews with the Fabs, talking about adapting the Fargo style to the 80s with a rock and roll flare.

Jackie Fargo & Stan Lane vs. The Moondogs (5/9/83)

Fucking Moondogs! Fucking drunk ass Fargo! The Moondogs are FAT. Fargo is a fat old drunk with spindly little bird legs. No one needs to see this.

Fabulous Ones vs. Bruise Brothers (10/1/83)

Porkchop Cash looks like Kimbo Slice's father. Stan and Dream Machine start the match. They have a pretty even exchange. Skinner tags in and takes it to the mat. Tags are made. Stan gets Cash on the mat and the Fabs work arm locks and headlocks. Back drop sends Cash on his ass. Things seem to break down. The Assassins jump out of the crowd and attack the Fabs. Then they put their masks on. Now I know where Al Snow got it from. King, Dutch, and Koko would make the save.

Fabulous Ones Interview (12/83)

This is a promo on Bill Dundee, who apparently busted Skinner open. Stan is going to bring his karate back for this match and he's going to kick some big foot looking goof.

Jackie Fargo Promo (Fabulous Ones Leave Memphis)

Another drunk promo from home. Now, I've done a lot of reviews while drinking, and a few full on drunk. But this is the kind of drunk that is awkward and uncomfortable. The kind of drunk where you're just waiting for the racial slurs or violence to come out. Basically, he was pissed because the Fabs wanted to wrestle in other places besides Memphis and didn't want to wrestle exactly how he told them to wrestle. So they left and he told them they couldn't use the Fabulous Ones name anymore. He basically shits on them, more or less claiming they were unappreciative of him and the fans, so he's going to get new people to replace them. Seems like a heel promo to me.

Introducing the New Fabulous Ones

Jackie, again drunk and at home, introduces his new Fabulous Ones, Eddie Gilbert and Tommy Rich. What a downgrade. Tommy Rich looks like an ugly woman. Eddie is no match for the sexuality of Stan Lane. The video was set to Freeze Frame. Then we got to see them talking with Jackie on the couch.

Tommy Rich & Eddie Gilbert Interview (4/84)

A very quick in studio interview.

Music Video (Footloose)

This is in ring stuff mixed with clips of the New Fabs standing around and being creepy in tuxes. Tommy Rich looks like a member of Leatherface's family. 2spooky4me. This segues into an in studio interview. Tommy makes it clear they weren't trying to replace Steve and Stan. He actually says he doesn't even know what he's trying to say. Now he's talking about his dad leaving and how he would hold it against the men his mom would date afterwards. But after leaving the ring all bloodied up and hearing the fans boo, he realized that it wasn't the fault of those men, but his dad's fault for leaving. They weren't trying to replace his dad, because his dad chose to leave. Um.

New Fabulous ones vs. PYTs (Studio) (5/84)

PYTs come out to Thriller instead of Pretty Young Thing. Oh my, Koko either has a massive amount of afro sheen in, or his wearing glitter in his hair. Makes him look like a literal star, though. Jimmy Hart would cause a DQ in about 3 minutes. A brawl ensued. The brawl was much longer than the match.

New Fabulous Ones vs. PYTs (Louisville) (5/84)

Turned into a bloody brawl that went all over the building.

Jackie Fargo Promo (Jimmy Hart) (8/84)

One of Jackie's drunken couch promos. Eddie and Tommy have already split and started their violent feud. So now he called "one of my Fabs", Steve Keirn. The same Steve that he stripped of the name because they dared to want to make money in as many territories as they could.

Whips (5/4/85)

This is the PYTs vs jobbers. The real Fabs would return with straps to attack the PYTs. Stan says he hasn't seen this much leather since pulling Steve out of an S&M bar. Stan seems really into the idea of getting whipped. Bill Travis came out to say the PYTs wouldn't come back as long as the Fabs were in the studio. The Fabs would return in the second fall. There was a promo after the brawl. Steve would bend over and let Stan strap him, adding more subtext to their loving relationship.

Jackie Fargo Promo (Tux Newman) (5/4/85)

Jackie seems more drunk than usual and is almost immediately bleeped out for calling Tux Newman a big piece of shit. He said something else that got bleeped.

Music Video (Born In the USA)

Stan played this from a radio station. You ever want to see shirtless muscled dudes shooting skeet with the American flag shown over and over? You're in luck. How weird was it that Vince brought Keirn in as Skinner after a career as a pretty boy hearth throb?

Fabulous Ones vs. Sheepherders Music Video (The Heat Is On)

Fucking Sheepherders!

I have no idea how Jackie Fargo got to be a legend in Memphis, but this was well past his prime and he wasn't even an active wrestler. Still, he seems like a very angry drunk in all of these promos. I don't even know who the videos were catering to. I don't know any women that would find them sexy, but I also don't know any gay guys that would find them sexy. Are the straight men and gay women supposed to find them sexy? Then you had the New Fabs. I could see girls being pretty into Eddie Gilbert, but Tommy Rich was the creepiest/sleaziest looking dude even in his physical prime. He looks like Leatherface cross dressing.

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