WWF King of the Ring 1993

The first ever televised KOTR. They had been running KOTRs as a yearly thing since 1985, but this is the first time it was aired in any form. JR, Brain, and Macho will be handling commentary duties tonight. Some past KOTR winners: Don Muraco, Harley Race, Randy Savage, Ted DiBiase, Tito Santana, and Bret Hart.

Razor Ramon vs Bret Hart

These two had a good match at the Rumble, so hopefully they can try to match that. Some even lock ups with no one getting an advantage. First round matches only have 15 minute time limits. Bret gets Razor to the mat and goes after the arm. Bret tries a hip toss. Razor blocks it and throws a strong lariatooo. Razor misses an elbow drop and Bret goes back to the arm. Razor tries to wrestle and it doesn't work out for him. Razor gets to his feet and then throws a back elbow. Bret is sent shoulder first into the ring post, which is something that could play a factor in the rest of Bret's matches should he advance. 123 chant starts up. Fall away slam. The ring sounds extra crashy tonight. Running powerslam from Razor. That's not something he did very often. Brain says that Bret is the kind of guy who asks for a wake up call at 1:23 and kicks out when they call him. Razor can't keep Bret on the mat and misses a series of elbows. Inverted atomic drop. Lariato. Russian leg sweep. Back breaker. Shit is about over for you, Razor. Diving elbow. Razor takes a wild swing and is almost rolled up. Bret goes for a running bulldog. Razor shoves him off into the sternum bump in the corner. Razor's Edge! Wait, Bret gets down and tries a back slide. He can't get it, so he rolls over into a small package. HEGOTHIMNOHEDIDN'T! Bret counters the belly to back superplex for the win. Bret advances. Pretty solid match. The Edge to back slide to small package was a hot near fall.

Highlights from Superstars with Mr. Hughes and Giant Gonzalez attacking Taker/Paul. Hughes stole the urn!

Mr. Hughes vs Mr. Perfect

It took Perfect 3 times to get past Doink just to enter the tournament. Perfect uses his speed to get out to an early advantage. That all stops when a single punch sends him over the top rope. Big boot. Lariato. Neck work from Hughes. Perfect gets Irish whipped into one corner and ends up in the opposite one. Bret gets a PIP promo saying he'd probably rather wrestle Perfect in the next round. They botch some kind of bear hug or spinebuster or something. What ever it was, it was ugly. Hughes misses the tea bag on the ropes move. Hip toss. Back drop. Perfect neck whip. Hughes hits Perfect in the head with the urn right in front of the ref and is disqualified. Perfect advances.

TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene is in the locker room of Yokozuna. He speaks with Fuji and Yoko. Hulk Hogan CHEATED! Yoko is bigger and wiser than he was at Wrestlemania. I wonder why the fuck they had Fuji as his manager, because Yoko was a better promo than Fuji. Fuji always looked and sounded confused and was usually hard to understand anyway.

Bam Bam Big Yellow vs Jim Duggan

JR of course talks non stop about Duggan's football and amateur career, which Brain stops because this is the pros and none of that shit matters. Especially football. They collide and Bam Bam is bounced to the floor. Duggan goes hard into the corner at an awkward angle and appears to injure his ribs. He tries to slam Bam Bam right after this and it didn't work. Bear hug. Bammer misses a falling headbutt. The second slam attempt doesn't work. The third one works. I'll never understand that wrestling logic. You can't lift a guy on the first try. You're hurt and the dude falls on you the second time, but you can easily lift him up and slam him with no issues the third time. Duggan missed the 3 Point stance lariato and Bam Bam wins with the diving headbutt. Bam Bam advances.

TO THE BACK. Terry Taylor speaks with the Smoking Gunns and Steiner Brothers. Both teams think their finishers will be the key to victory. You don't say.

Lex Luger vs Tatanka

Both men are undefeated. If Lex doesn't cover his elbow with a very think pad, he will be eliminated from the tournament. He agrees. This is the first time I've ever actually been able to see the scar from where the plates and screws were put in. I thought it was a work as a kid. It isn't. And it's gross looking. Tatanka shoves Lex's mirror into them and they head to the floor momentarily. Tatanka gets Lex to the mat and tries to take him there. Macho says that the KOTR winner and WWF Champion would be on the same level. PIP from Bam Bam. He wants "the Indian". There is no way the elbow pad would protect any wrestler. It's not even a pad, but more of a sleeve. Really nothing interesting at all here. Time limit draw so both men are eliminated. Bam Bam advances to the finals. Lex wants 5 more minutes. He then blindsides Tatanka after taking the pad off.

TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene speaks with Bret and Perfect. Gene tries to stir the shit by insinuating that Bret wanted to face Perfect because Perfect was an easier match. Fucking Gene, why you gotta be like that? They get into an argument over whose dad was better.

Bret Hart vs Mr. Perfect

The time limit is up to 30 minutes now. Bret appears to have jammed or broken some fingers on his left hand. JR says Stu was a brawling, power wrestler. He doesn't seem like he would have been that kind of wrestler at all. Especially when you see pictures of him in his youth where he was built but pretty slender. Quick take downs and chain wrasslin. Stiff chop from Perfect. Both men hit slams and kick each other off as they went for head locks. Side headlock take over from Bret. Crucifix from Bret gets a near fall. Back to the headlock takeover. Crossbody. Bret is rolled to the floor on the kick out. He comes back with a sunset flip and goes back to the headlock. Perfect gives a dirty break on the ropes. Standing dropkick. Bret rolls to the floor. Perfect holds the ropes open and kicks Bret as soon as Bret is back in the ring. Knee lift. More stiff chops. Bret gets knocked from the apron to the guard rail/cooler. It looks like he landed knee first. Perfect won't allow the ref to count to 10. Back in the ring, Perfect comes off the top rope with a missile dropkick. Bret got a foot on the ropes. Sternum bump. 2 count. Perfect is getting desperate to put Bret away. He goes up top again and is caught with a superplex. Bret begin working the leg. Figure four. Bret gets a thumb to the eye, but he won't let go. Rope break. Perfect gets a handful of hair and throws Bret around, Divas style. Sleeper. Bret gets out by dropping into the turnbuckles. STIFF European uppercut. God damn. Sounded like it broke Perfect's jaw. Bret does his own hair throw, with Perfect going all the way into the ring post, balls first. 5MOD start. Bret goes for the sharpshooter. Perfect grabs the taped fingers to break it and then stomps on them. Both fight over a suplex and both go over the top rope. Perfect feigns a knee injury only to SWERVE and do a small package. Bret reverses it and gets the pin. Bret advances to the finals. This is good shit. I like it more than the Summerslam match. It had a better story, Perfect's back wasn't totally ruined, and Bret was much more established.

TO THE MEAN GENE EARLIER TODAY. Gene got some comments with Jimmy Hart and Hulk Hogan. Skinny Hulk Hogan tries to cut a coked/roided up Hogan promo without coke or steroids. It's fucking weird and I don't like it. Jimmy gives lyrics straight from American Made, which makes me think he already wrote/recorded the song knowing Hulk was going to use it somewhere else.

Yokozuna vs Hulk Hogan WWF Championship

A lot of photographers at ringside, which is the first sign that something is afoot. Savage question's Tunney's decision to not have Bret Hart against Hogan. They lock up. Hogan tries to throw Yoko off and Yoko doesn't really budge. "The last time I saw this many Japanese people was at Benihanas." Yoko throws Hogan down. Yoko dominates with chops and forearms. Skinny Hogan is just fucking weird. I think Hogan is bigger in 2014 even with no spine left in his body. Hulk bites Yoko and threatens to punch the ref because he's a super face like that. Hulk couldn't slam Yoko. It's no surprise because he tried to lift him like a half slam/half bear hug. He tries it again with the same terrible form. Hulk gets to Ax Bombaaas, which doesn't send Yoko down. He tries the third and is caught with one from Yoko. Yoko then misses a standing splash. Hulk gets all fired up and tries a shoulder block, which knocks Hulk down. Bear hug. Hulk breaks it and throws a series of firsts. It seems like he's going to go for the bodyslam again, but Yoko cuts him off. Belly to belly. Kick out WITH AUTHORITY. He's Hulking up, brother. The big boot doesn't drop Yoko. A second one doesn't either. The third finally works. Leg drop. Yoko kicks out! One of the photographers gets on the apron. Jimmy Hart tires to pull him down. Hulk goes over and the guy's camera shoots a fire ball in Hogan's face. Yoko then hits a leg drop. New champion! The sound is booing, but it sure looked like a lot of fans were cheering the finish. No 3 1/2 kick out here. Banzai drop after the match. Hulkamania is dead! "Yokozuna has squashed Hulkamania!" While it wasn't that interesting, it was some strong booking for Yoko, who basically turned Hulk away at every spot, kicked out of the leg drop, then won with his own leg drop. Even if the finish wasn't exactly clean, it was still probably the strongest Hulk ever put anyone over in a match before 2002. But Hulk is a shit head anyway since he bitched to get the title back with the deal that he'd drop it to Bret at Summerslam, but then he decided Bret was too small and he didn't want to lose to a face. And then didn't make any appearances between WM and KOTR.

TO THE BACK. Terry Taylor catches up with Mr. Perfect. "How do you feel?" is a pretty stupid question.

TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene speaks with HBK. HBK finally reveals Diesel's name.

Steiner Brothers/Smoking Gunns vs Headshrinkers/Money Inc.

I'm not even sure what the story reason for this was even though I've watched all the Raws. It was just announced one show. Ted and Scott begin. JR talks about Ted's football history. Scott gets the better of the exchange and sends Ted to the floor. Rick throws him back in and he's sent right back out. Fatu tags in, as does Bart. They have an interesting exchange including Fatu jumping out of a drop toe hold and bragging only to get caught with a drop kick. I see a lot of little things in the Usos that are so much like their dad. Fatu hits a superkick right in the throat. JR talks about so much college that Brain gets annoyed with it. JR also brings up IRS's decorated tag team past, which Vince probably didn't like since IRS was not Mike Rotunda. Bart plays FIP for his team. His run didn't last long. Ted voluntarily releases the Million Dollar Dream and then is rolled up. What a weird finish.

TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene is with Yoko, Fuji, and Jack Tunney. Jack congratulates Yoko on his title win. They're going to have their celebration in America. No fucking mention of the camera blowing up in Hulk's face? Maybe Tunney really was on the take.

Crush vs Shawn Michaels WWF Intercontinental Championship

JR guarantees us that we haven't heard the last of Hulk Hogan. Hulk wouldn't return to the WWF until February of 2002. Macho is still legit shook as fuck over Hogan losing. He's probably thinking, "Brother never put me over, no he didn't, ah uh, yeah, nope, no he didn't, uh uh.". Crush uses his power to throw HBK around and then shocks him with two dropkicks. HBK can only do so much against a stiff like Crush. Nash looks dope with his acid washed mirrored jean jacket, jeans tucked into his cowboy boots, one leather glove, mullet, and black sunglasses. Crush got rammed into the ring post and apparently knocked out. HBK spent a lot of effort getting Crush back in the ring just for Crush to kick out. Two Doinks come out and distract Crush. HBK hits a superkick to the back of the head, which sends Crush into the turnbuckle. Title retained.

TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene gets a word with a fresh Bam Bam. Bammer had some lovely tits.

Bam Bam Big Yellow vs Bret Hart King of the Ring Finals

They get right into the action. Bret gets out of a press slam. Big shoulder block from Bam Bam. Press slam over the ropes! Bret is wrecked already. Bear hug. A couple of great belly to back suplex from Bammer. They head to the floor. Bam bam gets thrown into the guard rail, which breaks and apparently squashes the leg of a little girl in the front row. Bret jumps off the apron, is caught, and slammed into the ring post. Hard slam on the floor. Luna comes out and hits Bret with a chair. Back in the ring, Bam Bam connects with the diving headbutt. 3 count. Bam Bam is the King of the Ring! But wait, Earl Hebner comes out and informs Joey Marella of the chair shot. The decision has been reversed. Wait, the match will CONTINUE! Earl saved Bret! It only makes Montreal even more hurtful. Bam Bam continues where he left off. Back suplex from Bret. Bam Bam misses the senton. Dropkick to the lower back. Bam Bam is dumped to the floor. Pescado. Super bulldog. Bam Bam kicks out of the sharpshooter. Bam Bam smashes Bret on the next belly to back. 2 count. Victory roll. Bret wins! Bret is the King of the Ring!

As Bret gets his coronation, Jerry Lawler comes to the stage to confront the pretender to his throne. There is only one king, god damn it, and it is Jerry fucking Lawler. King will let Bret be a prince if Bret bows down and kisses his feet. Bret gets a BURGER KING chant going. Lawler attacks him. WE'RE OUTTA TIME!

This was definitely the Bret Hart show. In fact, the whole show seemed like it was made as an apology from Vince to Bret for Hogan being a dick.