WWF In Your House 15: A Cold Day In Hell 5/11/97
Flash Funk vs HHH
That Flash is such a natural athlete. Quicker than a hiccup. He hits a big dive early on. Chyna knocks his dick into the dirt. I wonder what the point of bringing in Scorpio only to give him a 70s blaxploitation movie gimmick was. Maybe that was the point. Chyna will ruin your life. You can tell by the look in her eyes. Once Chyna got involved, Flash has had no offense. Well, until HHH decides to jump off the top rope for no reason. Scorp also gets fucked going up top. Moral of the story: Don't go to the top rope. HHH wins with a reverse superplex followed by the pedigree. After the match, Chyna holds Flash in the air, walks around, and crotches him on the top rope while HHH laughs.
Some footage of Ken Shamrock in the UFC is aired before JR asks some questions to him. Vader attacked him before the show and he isn't going to let that affect him at all.
TO THE TODD. Todd shows Rock footage of his (Rock's) debut. Like he forgot about it or something. Then clips of him winning the IC championship and reminding Rock about his loss of the title. Asking the hard questions: Was it too much too soon?
Mankind vs Rocky Maivia
Rock is a lot more aggressive. That's good, because he needed to show some edge. He's still getting his ass kicked, though. The metal ramp got added to the IYH sets, so it looks like it is going to get used in every match. Like for a Rock Bottom on it. Rock throws everything he has at Mankind, gets pretty vicious, but it isn't enough. Mankind rolls through the top rope crossbody and wins with the mandible claw.
TO THE TODD. Ahmed says something unintelligible.
Ahmed Johnson vs Nation of Domination Gauntlet Match
Faarooq still has a bad arm, Savio has a bad ankle, and Crush has the shits. G-Rilla won't let any members of the NOD stay at ringside during the individual matches. Crush begins for the NOD. "I'll tell you, King, you know as well as anybody, Big Johnson is hard to handle." Oh, Jim. They have a boring as shit match that goes on way too long. Ahmed eliminates him with a heel kick.
Savio is in next. His ankle injury was a RUSE! A BAMBOOZLE! A SWERVE! JR should go back to the dick jokes because that's more interesting than this match, too. Savio gets disqualified for using a chair.
Faarooq comes in and as it turns out, his arm is fine. Ahmed hits the spinebuster and PRP, but can't make a pin. When he finally does, Faarooq kicks out. DAMN! Faarooq hits a chop block and Dominator for the win. Thankfully, this is over.
TO THE TODD. We're shown the attack on Shamrock from earlier. Vader is fat and smelly.
Ken Shamrock vs Vader No Holds Barred
The only way to win is via submission or knockout. It's basically a shoot style match. Shamrock doesn't have his traditional music and instead has a generic Jim Johnston Joint that he probably made in his sleep. Shamrock attempts a single leg take down. He goes IN on some leg kicks, which Vader clearly doesn't like. Ken nearly gets a kimura locked on. Huge waist lock take over. Vader bails after that. Vader appears to injure his arm doing it. JR hypes UFC's next PPV. German suplex! Shamrock is really controlling this. As soon as he gets something, Vader gets a rope break or just rolls out of the ring. Vader can be heard telling Ken to ease up twice, right on camera. It doesn't appear Shamrock gave a shit. Vader lays him out with a short arm lariato. Triangle! Vader tries to turn it into a powerbomb and instead just kind of falls backwards. Then he just chucks him over the top. Vader's nose is bleeding. Ken's head slams into the steps a couple of times. Vader tries the moonsault in a shoot fight. He "missed", but definitely still landed hard on Shamrock and probably fucked his own ribs/knees up on it. Ken beats Vader down until Vader gets sick of it and MOLLYWHOPS THAT BOY. God damn. Ken locks on the ankle lock seconds later and Vader taps.
TO THE TODD. Austin gives no fucks about the Hart Foundation sitting in the front row for his title shot. 2 weeks ago on Raw, Austin hit Taker with the stunner. Taker gave him the chokeslam, which Todd called the TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER RIGHT THERE. Cunt.
Steve Austin vs Undertaker WWF Championship
The Hart Foundation come to their ringside seats. Austin attacks Owen. So does Taker. He also decks Bulldog just for fun. RIGHT HAND RIGHT HAND RIGHT HAND CLOTHESLINE CLOTHESLINE CLOTHESLINE. Austin tries to slow things down with side headlocks. Just what you'd expect out of these two. Headlock takeovers and chain wrestling. Austin gets a chop block and goes to work. Then Taker knocks the shit out of him in the corner. Austin goes back to the leg work. Taker then does some leg work of his own. Can't say I was expecting a bunch of mat wrestling and trading holds. Low blows are traded. Chokeslam. Stunner! It's over! NEW CHAMPION! Brian Pillman starts ringing the bell and causes a distraction. Tombstone. Title retained. The Hart Foundation jumps the ring as soon as the bell rings and attack Taker. Too bad Bret was left in his wheel chair in the crowd. Steve knocks him over and steals his crutch as he and Taker run those damn Canadians off. Stunner! Double birds!
It's not a good show, continuing the trend of WWE actually being pretty shitty for most of the 90s. Shamrock/Vader was interesting, but hampered greatly by Vader doing so much stalling. It's another show that shows Austin was head and shoulders above everything going on in the WWF at the time.