NWA WCW Great American Bash 1989
I'm still unsure if these are technically NWA or WCW shows. It was WCW by this point, but still under the NWA banner. WCW and NWA are used pretty interchangeably.
A disclaimer appears at the bottom of the screen stating that the event is presented in the most complete form possible due to original production technical difficulties.
2 Ring Battle Royal
You eliminate people from the first ring. Then people eliminate each other from the second ring. The last man in both rings then have a singles match. I think. Some men in this match: Scott Hall, the Steiners, Doom, Sky Scrapers, the GOOOOON, Brian Pillman. Nothing interesting. The Sky Scrapers were the last men in their respective rings and refused to fight each other, so they both won.
TO THE SOLIE. Gordon Solie talks with Teddy Long, who explains that he wouldn't let his men fight. Teddy is missing most of his top teeth. What the fuck.
Bill Irwin vs Brian Pillman
Brian gets off to a quick start. Head scissors sends the Goon to the floor. Baseball slide. Brian grounds it back in the ring. Big slam from the Goon. Vertical suplex. A lot of shit talk from Goon. Brian is thrown to the floor. Lariatooooo. Brian fires up with a series of dropkicks. He almost hits the Slingblade. Missile dropkick misses. Gut wrench from the Goon. Brian wins after hitting a flying cross body from the second ring. Pretty nothing match.
TO THE SOLIE. The Dean talks with Paul E. Dangerously. He's taking Jim Cornette O-U-T OUT! He's been living Dangerously his entire life!
The Dynamic Dudes vs The Sky Scrapers
Oh man, the Dudes are going to die. A fan swats Spivey on the chest and he immediately swings right back as this dude. Teddy Long straight up looked like a crackhead. The skullet, the missing teeth, constantly sweating. What the fuck was going on with him in 1989? Spivey and Johnny start the match. Spivey knocks him around. Bad cross bodies and dropkicks from Ace. Dude isn't a good wrestler at all. How did he get to Japan in the first place? Sid gets tagged in and the crowd pops big for it. They're really into Sid. Loud WE WANT SID chants. I wish Sid would go to the floor and start fist bumping these fans because they love him. They're so into him that they boo when he tags out. And as soon as he tags out, the WE WANT SID chants start up again. It's pretty rad. They should have just gone with it. The crowd wants Sid. Let Sid get in there and fuck the Dudes up. That's what Spivey has been doing the whole match anyway. Johnny gets a hot tag and slips up top going for a clothesline. The Sky Scrapers collide on accident. Double dropkick to Sid. Double hip toss to Spivey. Spivey totally drops Ace doing a powerbomb, but gets the win with it anyway. They should have had Sid win with the powerbomb. He was the over one, but they had Spivey in 90% of the match.
TO THE SOLIE. Gordon talks this time with Jim Cornette. He's going to fuck Paul E. up tonight.
Paul E. Dangerously vs Jim Cornette Tuxedo Match
Corny has a good punch, guys. Paul's jacket comes off right away, but it was all a ruse to get powder out. And by powder I mean coke. Paul uses his phone to attack Cornette's famously injured knee. Cornette's jacket is gone. Paul clobbers him, but JR calls it a "somewhat feminine" right hand. I don't think so. He clearly potatoed Corny. I guess it was kind of a slap. Paul gets choked with his cummerbund. Spitting! Tranquilo extremo! This is surprisingly physical and Cornette is a pretty good fiery babyface, weirdly enough. Paul's shirt is gone. More coke from Paul. It gets kicked back in his face. Off goes Paul's pants and he runs right to the back. Cornette wins!
TO THE SOLIE. Gary Hart talks up Muta and how important the TV Championship is.
Kevin Sullivan/Mike Rotunda vs Steiner Brothers Tornado Tag Match
Kevin Sullivan just doesn't fit with the Varsity Club. He went from the devil to a head of a frat basically, but he's just some short fat guy and doesn't wear any kind of university gear or singlets. Scott and IRS go at it in the ring as Rick and Sullivan are throwing chairs, tables, and stairs at each other on the floor. Rick gets whipped into an IRS lariat. Over head belly to belly and powerslam from Rick to Sullivan. This is a pretty wild brawl. This kind of feels a bit like proto-ECW. Scott cross bodies Sullivan while he's holding Rick and they double pin him to get the win.
TO THE SOLIE. Gordon talks with Sting and Eddie Gilbert. Sting is trying to stay calm. It's so weird going from seeing Eddie doing the shit he was doing in Memphis with Lawler and then being generic babyface in WCW right around the same time.
Sting vs The Great Muta NWA TV Championship
This music for Muta is dope as fuck. Sounds like some background music in a Bruce Lee movie when he's sneaking around. Muta is undefeated at this point in time. Sting himself has an extremely good win record. They start in separate rings, so Sting takes it upon himself to dive over both sets of ropes to get at Muta. Muta comes back with a diving chop, handspring elbow, and went for the moonsault early. Sting moves and Muta lands on his feet. Kicks send Sting to the floor. Muta follows out with a pescado. "Oriental" sleeper, which is the same thing as a normal sleeper. Scattered MUTA MUTA chants every few moves. Powerdrive elbow. Muta is doing all kinds of weird facial things and being a general weirdo. Sting fights back only to get poked in the eyes. Handspring elbow is missed. Sting fires up. Big bulldog. Standing dropkick. Nick Patrick gets the red mist on accident. Sting misses the Stinger Splash. Moonsault...2 count! Belly to back suplex. Both men had their shoulders down, but Sting's went up at the last second. Title retained! Really fun, if short, match. Nick Patrick seems to think Muta won. Muta and Gary Hart leave with the belt and the fans chant BULLSHIT. No one is really sure what is going on here.
TO THE SOLIE. He talks with Lex Luger, who appears to be a heel now. He's not happy about having to defend against Ricky Steamboat tonight. And he won't have the match unless the no DQ rule is waived.
Ricky Steamboat vs Lex Luger NWA US Championship
Ricky comes out with a god damn komodo dragon and being carried on a pillar by what looks like Seal Team Six. The best part about the dragon is that it is wearing a spiked vest. That's pretty rad. Fucking lol at Lex's podium stopping the spinning and Lex trying to keep it going, just to give up and change his pose anyway. I think there was a steroids chant starting up, but I can't be positive. Steamboat uses his speed and experience to catch Lex off guard with chops and roll ups. Hard lariat on the floor from Lex. Steamboat is 230 right now. He was a state wrestling champion at 154. That's what working out will do for you, kids! Couldn't be that Ricky was 15 when he was 154 and is now a 36 year old man. Nope, it's all due to working out. Back breaker from Lex. Seems like he's going to focus on the lower back from now on. Press slam. Fans are really into heels all around tonight. Tommy Young stops Steamboat from strikes in the corner, which totally fucked Ricky over. Tommy couldn't have known it was going to be a closed fist, and instead of stopping the strike, he should have disqualified him if it was illegal. What the fuck, Tom? Luger Sucks chants start up for a moment. Make up your mind, crowd. Desperation neck breaker from Steamboat. Lex misses a lariat and goes over the top. Lex gets caught going up top like he's Ric Flair or some shit. Steamboat fires off some chops. Diving tomahawk chop. Ricky gets back dropped into the second ring. Lex gets a chair. It turns against him when he gets slingshot while holding it. Steamboat grabs the chair and whacks Lex a few times, causing himself to be disqualified. He even threw Tommy Young out of the ring. He kind of deserved it, tbh. Steamboat has snapped! He chases Lex all the way to the back. Title retained. Lex was really serviceable when he was young. Especially against guys like Flair and Steamboat.
TO THE BACK. The SST and Fabulous Freebirds give their promo for War Games. GOD DAMN IT. MICHAEL FUCKING HAYES YOU CUNT. The Headshrinkers randomly start biting each other during the promo while Michael is screaming and being a cunt. Elsewhere, the faces give their promo. Dr. Death flies in, talks about trying to catch birds, and needing bug spray for the "Samoyions".
Road Warriors/Steve Williams/Midnight Express vs SST/Fabulous Freebirds War Games
Again, Iron Man is left in for LOD. They come in riding bitch on some bikes. Obviously, the heels win the coin toss. Eaton and Jimmy Jam start the match. Michael Hayes is the kind of guy would get married just so he could cheat on his wife. The kind of guy who would drink your last Wild Cherry Pepsi and not tell you. The kind of guy who would house sit and leave your house unlocked all weekend. The kind of guy who would use a story about Black History Month as an excuse to talk about this one time he threw fried chicken at an elderly black woman in the front row. The kind of guy who would use your car cigarette lighter to charge his car battery. The kind of guy who would take the A key off your keyboard because his was broken. The kind of guy who would spend hours hacking shit up while you're trying to watch a movie. The kind of guy who talks on the phone at a play. The kind of guy who doesn't wipe his ass. The kind of guy who wears purple suits because he thinks he's black, even though he's racist. The kind of guy who eats coworker's lunches from the refrigerator. The kind of guy who snitches on people for things he does. The kind of guy who tries to fuck someone at their mom's funeral. The kind of guy would talk about the tits of your dead mom in the coffin. Standard War games match. The faces win.
TO THE SOLIE. Ric Flair is the guest. The only man besides Harley Race and Lou Thesz to be a 6 time champion. Flair is risking his health and livelihood to go through with this match.
Terry Funk vs Ric Flair NWA Championship
The action starts right away out on the floor. Funk throws a chair into the ring. Funk unloads some chops in the ring only to get stood on his toes from one of Flair's. Another sends him over the top. Flair goes head first into the ring post. I can't believe he didn't blade for it. Funk slaps Flair around, disrespecting the champ. Flair tries to suplex him off the apron and they both just kind of fall to the floor. Not sure what happened. Some of Flair's chops sound like gunshots. Flair back drops Funk over the ropes out of a piledriver. Flair goes after Funk's neck. Flair hasn't wrestled since Funk's attack at WrestleWar. Flair hits a piledriver! And another! They look like shit, though. Funk starts throwing punches only for Flair to hit a flying burrito. Figure four! Funk uses a branding iron to break it. It busted Flair open. Piledriver. Flair was in the ropes. Flair blocks another one on the floor. Funk just kind of rolls off the apron and kind of maybe lands on Flair, but Flair sells it in classic OH GAAAHD style. Neck breaker in the ring. Another. Terry is trying to make Flair says he quits. Flair gets a hold of the branding iron and whacks Terry right in the face. Funk is busted open. Flair misses a flying knee in the corner. Spinning toe hold! Flair reverses it into a figure four attempt. Funk reverses that into a small package. Flair reverses that and gets the pin. Title retained. Gary Hart got decked after the match just for fun. Muta shows up and gives Flair the green mist. They double team Flair. Funk goes for a piledriver on a chair. Doug Dillinger jumps in the ring to save Flair only to get attacked. Sting shows up and the fight is on. Flair gets up and knocks the SHIT out of Muta. Things are out of control. The head of security is down. Flair looks like a Christmas ornament. Muta is throwing stairs. Funk walks by Dave Meltzer in the crowd. The fight starts back up with Funk throws a chair that hits Flair and Flair flies out of the ring after him. It's like 10 minutes of brawling all over the place. In the ring, at ringside, into the crowd, up to the stage, to the announce position.
Good show. The marquee matches definitely delivered. I'm ready to see Sting/Flair vs Muta/Funk. What a hot fucking way to end the show. God damn. JR nearly lost his voice during it, fans were going nuts, Flair looked insane. It was rad.