WCW Fall Brawl 9/12/99

ICP/Vampiro vs Eddie Guerrero/Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr.

Raven quit and The Deadpool lost their name. The Filthy Animals has been used once on TV, but the group isn't called that. And after Raven quit, all the members of the Revolution, plus Rey, Eddie, and Konnan asked for their releases. Kidman planned to leave if the rest of the group left. Konnan and Shane then backed out because they realized that Vince wasn't hiring them back, and Bischoff wouldn't let the other guys go. Skinny Clown and Kidman start out. Pretty sweet leg drop/reverse powerbomb combo from Rey and Kidman. Fat Clown gets tagged in. Rey: Can handle big men like Bam Bam and Kevin Nash. Can't handle a Fat Clown. Fat DDT to Kidman. VAMPIRO CAN POWERBOMB KIDMAN! He doesn't give a fuck about Kidman's rules. He just can't stop powerbombin' Kidman. Rey does some flying moves on Fat Clown, but is thrown to the floor and beaten up by killer clowns from Mexico. Eddie gets tagged in and chops the fuck out of Vamp. Vamp does an inverted enziguri and Fat Clown is back in, out wrestling world class wrestlers. Hilariously botched 3D that could have gone very badly. Vamp does a gutwrench superplex to Kidman. Eddie missile dropkicks him and Kidman then pins Vamp with the SSP. Rey was injured during the match and was carried back by his partners and a trainer.


The Revolution are on the internet, showing their dicks.

Lenny vs Kaz WCW Cruiserweight Championship

Whatever. Lenny and Lodi aren't good wrestlers and aren't good characters. Lenny spending the match doing lame gay heel heat is old already. Billy and Chuck did it SO much better. And were both way better wrestlers. And this is a long match. Much longer than Lenny Lane needs to be in. He won with the Skull Crushing Finale, which is probably named something like Twinkle Toes.

TO THE MEAN GENE. Sting comes to the ring. This seems like it should be a quick promo in the back, not a full segment in the ring. He says that Lex is very close to ruining their friendship and he doesn't want Lex involved in his match at all. He has no problem with Hulk. Sting has the chance to be the 9 time WCW (NWA) Champion, which would give him the record for 2nd most World Championships.

Hugh Morrus/Brian Knobs vs Dean Malenko/Shane Douglas No Disqualification

It's no DQ, so there shouldn't be any tags in this. The Revolution get the early edge. It quickly goes to the floor. Shane threw the steps on Hugh, which also bounced and landed on Hugh's ankle. Luckily, the WCW steps are made for babies, so no injury there. PITY CITY! And now it breaks out into a tag match. If it's no DQ, why would there be tags? Shane's way of selling getting thrown into a guardrail is so weird. He basically dances. Hugh pinned Dean with a moonsault in a pretty boring brawl.


Perry Saturn vs Rick Steiner WCW TV Championship

I'm very jealous of Rick's facial hair. It's aggressively manly, thick, and luscious. They start with some amateur grappling like real men. Steinerline. Saturn pops up and hits a superkick and springboard legdrop. Suicide dive. German suplex from Saturn. RIck throws the ref in the way so he can kick Saturn in the dick. DDT on the floor. Rick goes on to control the match for the next few minutes. Saturn hits the DVD OUTTANOWHERE, but Rick kicks out. Rick then wins completely clean with the super bulldog.

TO THE MEANBROTHERJACKDUDE. Hulk is sick of everyone accusing him of things. He swore to his kids he wasn't going to turn on Sting. And in fact, if he was going to do something, he would have done it already. "His words have been for the best in the past. For the most part." Hulk's words have NEVER meant anything, as he's been a lying cheat even in the 80s.

Berlyn vs Jim Duggan

This was scheduled to be Berlyn vs Buff. However, the story is that Buff was having transportation issues and isn't at the arena. The real story is that he didn't want to lose the match, so he refused to participate at all. Jim Duggan was a last minute replacement. So they have the debut of Berlyn, after months of hype. Buff refuses to job and Duggan is his replacement...and basically no sells all of Berlyn's offense and is not cooperative at all, making Berlyn look like shit in his debut. It was really awkward and weird. The Wall pulled the mats up to clothesline Duggan. Right in front of the ref, too. Berlyn won with a hangman neckbreaker.


TO THE BACK. Buff "arrived" and got chewed out by Mike Graham for not being on time. He ran out to the ring to talk to Duggan, who wanted nothing to do with Buff.

Harlem Heat vs Barry Windham/Kendall Windham WCW Tag Team Championships

No Curly Bill for some reason. Book and Kendall start out. Barry comes in and gets put on his ass as well. And then we get Stevie playing FIP. IT MAKES NO SENSE. The bigger guy who isn't as good of a worker shouldn't be the guy selling for most of the match. That's tag team wrestling 101. Tag teams are usually supposed to hide the deficiencies of one or both guys. You shouldn't put guys in a position that highlights their weaknesses. Perfect got involved a lot. A whole lot. Multiple times right in front of the ref. The refs in general seem not to give a shit about outside interference tonight. Kendall had the win on Stevie for a good 15 seconds, but the ref was too busy watching Booker fight with Barry and Hennig on the floor. Book then climbed in the ring, hit the missile dropkick, and made the pin despite unquestionably being the non-legal man. New champions!

Sid vs Chris Benoit WCW US Championship

Their match in Souled Out 2000 would probably be Sid's best match, so I'm interested in what they do here since I don't remember it at all. Sid shoves Benoit off him, sending him half way across the ring. He does a crushing shoulder block and Benoit bails to regain some composure. Benoit goes to work on Sid's leg, keeping the big man grounded. Dropkick with Sid's knee between the steps and ring post. German suplex! Benoit tries a crucifix. It is countered into a Samoan drop. Sid tries a pin with his dick right in Benoit's mouth. Just right up in there. Dick in that mouth. Benoit goes back to the leg and then puts on the Iron Crossface. Sid clearly tapped out, but the match continued. He actually stood up while in the hold. Diving headbutt is missed. Powerbomb for the 100% clean win. New champion! What a shitty night for the Revolution.


Goldberg vs DDP

I can't believe DDP didn't do YO MAMA jokes before the match. First time in months. The ref finds a chain while checking DDP. As DDP shoved him off, more gimmicks fell out. Goldberg knocks DDP out of the ring 3 times in a row. DDP then got on the mic, heeled on the crowd, and decided to leave. Goldberg followed him into the crowd and dragged him back in the ring. He tweaked his knee at some point during this. DDP does the most blatant "accidental" eye poke to the ref while low blowing Goldberg. He then decked Goldberg with some kind of international object. He then works rest holds for a while. Goldberg fought out and DDP hit a big DDT. Then he tried to spear Goldberg. This was turned into a butterfly suplex. Kanyon and Bam Bam came out. Kanyon hit Goldberg with something that exploded and left a large cut on Goldberg's neck. Really weak spear and Jackhammer for the win. Goldberg was injured in the early part of the match and might have had a concussion after the DDT. Huge let down.


Sting vs Hulk Hogan WCW Championship

Buffer has a terrible shirt on tonight. It looks like it is blue with a cheetah spot collar, tied together with a black suit. Bret Hart was introduced just to come to the ring, shake hands with everyone, and head to the back. They have a pretty heated lock up and trash talk a lot. Hulk is frustrated and kind of working like a heel. Which is to say that he's working normally, since he always worked like a heel. Hulk was about to lose a test of strength, so he threw a cheap shot knee. Fans are definitely more into Sting here. They brawl on the floor for a bit, with Hogan choking Sting with a camera cable. Stinger Splash. Again. Hulk dodges the 3rd one and Hulks Up. He hits the leg drop, but DDP punched the ref. Kanyon Cutter. BANG! He pulls Sting on top of Hogan, but Hulk kicked out. So DDP then gave the ref a Kanyon Cutter. BANG! The impact of a finisher to someone else transferred to Hogan, and he Hulked Up again. Bret Hart came out and beat DDP up. Sid ran in and got a big boot. Lex Luger also ran in. Hulk jumped him before he could do anything. He brought a baseball bat with him. Hogan wanted to double team Lex with Sting. Sting picked up the bat and hit Hogan with it twice. SWERVE! Scorpion deathlock. Hogan is out. New champion!


DQ Count: 0 out of 9 matches.

Well, it was better than Road Wild, but it was an oddly booked show. The Revolution lost every match, clean, and look like losers now. I'm sure that booking all of them to job after they wanted to quit was a great way to make them want to stick around. No real reason for DDP or Sid to interfere in the main event. Speaking of the main event, 2 ref bumps, 4 run ins, and a Sting heel turn. A heel turn that was really odd since Hulk worked the match as Hollywood and not Hulk, so it was like turning heel on a heel. So on Nitro when the lights went out and Sting was laid out, did he do that to himself? Hopefully we get a Hollywood Steve Borden vs Hulk Hogan feud now.

Then there was everything involved Berlyn. That character was pretty much killed on the spot. Buff refuses to job, so Duggan replaces him and is super uncooperative and made Alex Wright look like shit. It was really weird and pretty unprofessional, which isn't something I'd expect out of Jim Duggan.

WCW Fall Brawl 9/13/98

Bret Hart and DDP will start out in War Games, everyone else will come in randomly, and no longer do all men have to be in the match before it can be won. So, in theory, DDP or Bret could win the match before anyone else even enters.

TO THE BACK. The Cat and Norman Smiley are being pulled apart by security.

TO THE MEAN GENE. He goes over some of the card before Chris Jericho walks out and claims that Goldberg has been complaining about competition. Jericho announces Jericho vs Goldberg Title vs Title tonight! 

Dancing Fools vs British Bulldog/Jim Neidhart

“Bonus” match. Bonus for who? How is this a PPV match? I guess that one match where DF interfered in a Bulldog/Anvil match against PE is worthy to have a PPV match a month and a half later. Bulldog was looking awfully…bloaty. A solid 30 pounds of bloat since leaving WWF. And always beet red. Guy looked like he was on the verge of keeling over at any minute. What a terrible match to start a PPV out. Just make the people feel like they wasted their money right off the bat. You’re supposed to wait until the END of the show for that, WCW. The only notable thing about this match is that Bulldog was severely injured by bumping on the trap door that was built for Warrior. However, you can’t really tell he was hurt besides having trouble getting Disco up for the power slam. And the bump was in the middle of the ring, which makes no sense to me as to why they’d put a trap door in the center of the ring. Why wouldn’t you put that in the corner where no one would be bumping? 

TO THE BACK. Gene caught up with Scott Steiner and Buff. Scotty is trying to claim he is injured again and won’t be able to wrestle. He has an ice pack in his underwear and a band aid on his arm. JoJo comes by and said this shit won’t fly. JoJo rips up the doctor’s note. 

Chris Jericho vs “Goldberg” WCW TV Championship/WCW Championship

Jericho gets the full Goldberg entrance. He gets lost again. Jericho’s pyro were just little plooms of smoke. It upset him. Goldberg’s pyro starts and when it ends, we see Goldberg is now about 5’2”. MiniBerg hits a spear! Jericho gets up and kicks him in the face. Liontamer. Jericho is the new champion! 

We’re shown Cat interrupting an Armstrong Brothers promo from Thunder and then having a pull apart with Norman Smiley. 

Norman Smiley vs The Cat

Man, people paid for this show once upon a time. So far, this is Thunder. Because they’re both brothers, Cat gives Norman 5 seconds to leave the ring. Norman doesn’t leave. Instead, he drop kicks Cat to the floor. Cat gets the advantage and takes it back to the ring. Cat with some MOOEY TIE knees. Norman reverses one of them into a back suplex. Norman then hits a big stalling suplex. Smiley goes for a super belly to belly. Cat knocks him off and then does a top rope Feliner. I think maybe a toe touched Norman, so he does a normal one to end the match. 

Scott Steiner vs Rick Steiner

They go right at it, hockey style. Rick gets the better of the exchange and lays Scott out with a Steinerline. Scott tries to run away and gets knocked into the crowd. Buff distracts the ref and Scott hits a low blow. Steinerline to Rick. Scott goes for the tiger bomb, and Rick turns it into a DDT. Buff gets rammed into the ring post. He appears to have reinjured his neck. The match stops. Trainers come out to check on Buff. Now EMTs and security come out with a stretcher. Buff is wheeled to the back. We get all the way to the ambulance. Buff is loaded in. Scott gets in with him. As soon as Rick turns around, Buff and Scott fly out and attack. It was a SWERVE! A SWERVE that lasted twice as long as the match that had 7 months of build. I’d be pretty pissed if I had paid for this show. 

Let’s recap so far: 2 unannounced matches that would be underwhelming even on Thunder, a Jericho joke match, and the Steiners FINALLY having their singles match only for it to go 5 minutes with no finish and Buff pulling a SWERVE that lasted at least 10 minutes. Over an hour into the show. 

Silver King vs Juventud Guerrera WCW Cruiserweight Championship

I guess this is because Silver King beat up Juvi after their match on Thunder. Clearly deserved a PPV match. Standard lucha start, ending with a head scissors sending King to the floor. Juvi hits a springboard rana. King again hits his pop up drop kick move. Whirlybird snake eyes from King. That was pretty nifty. Tiltawhirl backbreaker. Kind of a muscle buster. Springboard splash to the floor. King is on a roll here. Juvi botches a pop up sunset flip. I wonder if they’ll try it again. King goes for a piledriver, then lets it go, and they stand around talking out their next spot. Juvi gets to hit a pop up rana to make up for the sunset flip. Juvi hits a missile dropkick. King comes back with a big super kick. Super reverse rana from Juvi! Silver King somehow kicked out. He then reversed the Juvi Diver and is back on offense. What? How? He misses a moonsault. Juvi Driver and 450 for the win.

Recap of the Lodi/Raven/Saturn angle

Saturn vs Raven For The Flock’s Freedom

Kanyon is handcuffed to the turnbuckle to prevent him from interfering. This is the only match that has a chance of delivering tonight. Also, if Saturn loses, he will be Raven’s permanent servant. Raven gets the early advantage. Saturn comes back with a springboard elbow. Superfly splash. Raven tries to suplex Saturn off the apron. Saturn instead knocks him to the floor and hits a dive on Raven and Lodi. He gets rammed into the guard rail. Raven drops a second rope elbow back in the ring. And another. Saturn comes out of a sleeper with a jaw breaker. Raven gets up and hits a series of snap mares. This match is not delivering. The chair gets brought into the ring. Drop toe hold. Flock members bring a table out to ringside. Kidman is told to do a SSP, but drop kicks Raven. SWERVE! DVD. Raven kicks out. Saturn hits a series of suplexes. Springboard leg drop. Juvi Driver. Rings of Saturn. Lodi breaks it up. Ref bump. Fucking WCW and their insistence on ref bumps in no DQ/cage matches. Kanyon uncuffs himself and hits the Flatliner. BANG! Saturn kicks out. He then hits Lodi with a DVD off the apron through a table. He gets back in the ring and gets hit with the Evenflow. Saturn kicks out. DVD! Saturn wins! The Flock is free! 

Recap of the Hennig/Malenko cage match.

Dean Malenko vs Curt Hennig

Dean immediately goes crazy beating the shit out of Dean. Curt tries to bail to the floor, but Dean follows him out and dropkicks his knee against the guard rail. He also put the boots to Rude. Dean continues the assault on the knee in the ring. The only offense Hennig can get is eye pokes. Curt tries to leave. Dean drags him back and keeps working over the knee. Why is Dean getting 90% of the offense in a normal match, but Hennig got 90% of the offense in the cage match? Curt can’t hit the Perfect Plex, but Dean can! And Rude breaks up the pin, of course. I don’t think there has been a clean Hennig finish all year. Rude interrupts EVERY MATCH. They beat down Rude until Arn runs down for the save. They attack Arn’s neck. Dean dominated this match. Too bad it was another bullshit nWo finish.

Scott Hall vs Konnan

Hall comes out with a cocktail. Apparently the story of this match will be that Hall is clearly drunk. Hall decides he wants to wrestle in the other ring. And then decides he wants to wrestle in the other other ring. This show has been straight up a scam. I can’t believe WCW put this kind of after thought PPV on while the WWF was so red hot. Besides War Games, this has really been a 3 hour Thunder. Fuck this match. Fuck this show. I would love for Bischoff to give honest opinions and answers about why he put so little effort into the summer and fall of WCW in 1998 when he knew Vince was blowing him away. No bullshit spin or blaming it on someone else. He was in charge and had final say and these last 3 months of been the most half assed bullshit WCW ever did, even with the personal knowledge of what would happen in 1999 and 2000. Hall takes a drink while performing an abdominal stretch. Konnan wins after Hall takes one too many drinks and he hits the X-Factor. Konnan kicked Hall’s drink, because he’s a fucking asshole.

War Games

Man. Fuck. This match sucks. I know this going into it. This whole show has sucked. Bret and DDP start out. The opening period is 5 minutes. If one of these men can beat the other, they can avoid the other 7 men altogether. Bret tries to work over the arm, and then they get into a slap off. DDP hits a belly to belly. He tries for a 10 count punch in the corner and gets hit with a stun gun. DDT from Bret. Stevie Ray is the next man out. DDP fights both men off. Sting is the next man out. He goes after Stevie. He tries to dive over both rings, but barely makes it. You aren't 28 anymore, Stang. Piper is the next guy. Man. Fuck WCW. They had the best roster in the world in 1998, yet they put on the most half assed PPV I think I’ve ever seen. I thought Road Wild sucked, and it did, but this is something else. It’s literally a 3 hour Thunder with War Games as the main event. And a War Games where everyone is 40 and above or close to it. Stevie Ray is clearly only in there to take the pinfall. This is really neck and neck for Russo’s Revenge as the worst War Games. Hogan came in a full minute before he was supposed to. Warrior somehow injures himself by kicking the cage. That’s the most noteworthy thing of this match. DDP wins after a Kanyon Cutter on Stevie Ray. BANG! He will face Goldberg at Halloween Havoc.

This PPV was pretty terrible. Honestly, I think even War Games could have been on Thunder and not felt out of place at all. This was legitimately embarrassing and offensive. This was as bad as Spring Stampede 2000. This might be the most half assed and randomly thrown together WCW PPV of all time. And that says a lot since pretty much all of the shows in 2000 were randomly thrown together and half assed. I mean what the fuck. The majority of the card were special “bonus” matches that were fucking stupid, awful, and had one show of build to begin with. This show is honestly is incomprehensible to me. There was absolutely zero effort put into it. More effort was put into Jay Leno wrestling than anything on this card. Jesus fuck. 

To recap, 5 matches were “bonus” matches. One of them was a full on joke match. Two of them ended in DQ or no finish at all. That’s particularly offensive in the Steiner match since that had been building since February and ended up being a 5 minute match with a 10 minute SWERVE being the main focus. There were 9 matches total. That means over half of them were made the night of the show. While the WWF was red hot, this is what WCW put out. What the fuck. I thought 1998 was prime WCW, but I was apparently wrong. I mean, this shit is better than 2000, but I’ve been pretty shocked at how shitty 1998 has been.

WCW Fall Brawl 1997

Chris Jericho vs Eddie Guerrero WCW Cruiserweight Championship

Show is off to a great start with Eddie's name plate showing him to be Harlem Heat with Jaqueline. The sooner they get the title off of Jericho, the better. Bland ass white meat babyface Jericho is terrible. Eddie is all about slowing the pace down. Really weird to have this cruiser title match be centered around hammer and top wrist locks. This is shockingly boring. I'm blaming it 100% on Jericho, because he's boring with everyone during this period. Jericho hits a crazy release German suplex. Eddie twists out of a superplex and hits the frog splash. New champion. This was not interesting at all.


Harlem Heat vs Steiner Brothers

Number One Contendership

Match 15 this year. Instead of having them have another match, there really should just be a HH vs Steiners vs Outsiders match for the titles. Stevie and Scotty begin, and Stevie beats the brakes off that boy. It's impossible for me to get into this match. I've seen it too many fucking times. And it's not like they change it up or anything. They have the same match with the same spots every match. Steiners win with a lariat/German suplex combo. Great. So ANOTHER Steiners/Outsiders match with a wonky finish is on the way. Just what we were all waiting for.


Ultimo Dragon vs Alex Wright WCW TV Championship

I hope this isn't 20 minutes like the last two matches. This is another fairly slow paced match with lots of holds and punches/stomps. You've got Ultimo Dragon in the ring, and all you're doing is chinlocks. Alex wins with a German suplex. Title retained. Why the fuck was this 19 minutes long? 15 of those 19 were chin locks.  

As Mean Gene is hyping up the Hotline, the nWo walks past him. Gene enters the locker room to see Curt Hennig down on the floor.

Jeff Jarrett vs Dean Malenko

Number One Contendership

I'm not down for another 15-20 minute match. Especially not one with Jeff Jarrett. Oh look, another mat based match with lots of down time. This whole show has felt like something got cut short or completely and every match has had 6-9 minutes added 10 minutes. Eventually, both start working the leg. After a chop block, Jeff wins with the figure four in a 15 minute match that really went nowhere. Again.


TO THE BACK. The nWo cut a promo about Curt Hennig. Kevin walks out of it crying. The nWo always has a plan, and their plan tonight is a DOOZY. 

Wrath/Mortis vs Faces of Fear

Fuck yes. This should be a lot more fun than the long ass nothing matches so far. The show is over half way through. Barb and Mortis begin. I hope Barb does the super belly to belly. Meng gets the shit beaten out him for a bit before making a tag to Wrath, who comes in an starts clubberin' with Meng. Big pop for the Faces of Fear Bomb. Sinister Minister got involved, distracting Barb and the ref, allowing for a lot of double teaming on Barb. Mortis superplexes Barbarian...while sitting on Wrath's shoulders. It was a bad move, because Mortis took the worst of it, and then Barb made the hot tag to Meng right after. Some of the chops Meng laid on Kanyon were fucking vicious. Actually, everything Meng has done to Kanyon has been vicious. Meng gets Kanyon and James Mitchell in the Tongan Death Grip. Wrath sneaks in from behind to hit the Death Penalty to steal the win. This was definitely the most fun match of the show so far, but it also was quite a bit longer than it needed to be.


TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. The Horsemen are quite somber knowing they're going into War Games a man down. If he backed down when the odds were against him, Ric would never show up to a match. The nWo will sweat, bleed, and pay the price FOR LIFE.

Scott Norton vs The Giant

Bonus match! HOSSES! Giant picking up Norton with the ease he does is pretty scary, even considering how big Giant is. HOSS SUPLEX ON THE FLOOR! Norton hits a hot shot. On The Giant. This opens up for him to work over the neck and throat. Giant wins with the chokeslam in a short, but FnP HOSS battle. 


DDP/Lex Luger vs Scott Hall/Randy Savage

Another bonus match. DDP and Lex are finally on the same page again, so we'll see how this match turns out. Hall and Lex begin. "Scott Hall is one of the most over-rated wrestlers in the industry." I'll let you guess who said that. If you're building to a match between Larry and Scott, what good does it to for Larry to say Hall sucks? If Larry beats him, Hall is then a loser who sucks and lost to a retired guy. If Larry loses, he lost to a guy he said sucks. No benefit for anyone involved saying dumb shit like that. At least it kind of makes sense for Hall to be shitting on Larry so much, so he'll look like an asshole when Laryr beats him because he didn't take it seriously. Lex is very focused and dominates Hall and Macho, so it is curious why he'd tag out when he was on fire. The crowd is so hot for this. Obviously, DDP ends up as FIP. This is the first match of the night that takes advantage of the double ring set up. Hall attacks Mark Curtis, then Mickey Jay. This brings Larry to the ring. He distracts Hall long enough for Lex to roll him up. Larry counts the pin and the bell rings, so I guess it counted. WCW wins!


Four Horsemen vs nWo


Buff and Benoit are going to start the match. Benoit starts out on fire, but then misses a diving headbutt and everything slows down. Of course, the nWo wins the coin toss, and Konnan enters next. Benoit actually does better against two men than one. Mongo enters to even things out. Syxx enters after this, and maybe things will start getting interesting with a big bumper now in the ring. As Flair is about to enter the match, Curt Hennig comes out with his arm in a sling. It seemed like Flair was getting a weapon out of the sling, but he didn't have one when he entered the cage. Nash enters and WRECKS shit. Perfect DOES enter the match, and he had handcuffs in his sling. He pulls them out and...immediately hits Mongo and Benoit. IT'S ANOTHER SWERVE! Mongo and Benoit are cuffed to the cage, leaving Flair to get destroyed. They drag Flair's head out to the door, and threaten to slam the door shut unless the Horsemen surrender. Mongo says to stop it. Hennig slams the door anyway. SWERVE! "Death of the Horsemen, right in their back yard!"  


What a dull show. Wrath/Mortis vs FoF really shouldn't be the match of the night on a show with a heated War Games build, Eddie Guerrero, Chris Jericho, Dean Malenko, and Ultimo Dragon on the card. But that's what happened. A 5 minute Norton/Giant match was the second best match on the show. Everything was SO LONG. Needlessly long. Dragginly long. Terribly paced show. And of course, the nWo again swerves WCW and walks out standing tall. 

WCW Fall Brawl 1996

The war finally comes to a head tonight in War Games: The Match Beyond.  Just 6 days from the biggest match in WCW history, Sting defected.

TO THE LAST NIGHT.  We were shown footage of the nWo busting up Lex's rental car on Saturday Night.

DDP vs Chavo Guerrero Jr

Chavo attacks at the bell, sends DDP to the floor, and hits a tope.  DDP is getting rag tagged.  Belt OUTTA NOWHERE.  Who did Chavo take that from?  Chavo is Dusty's homey.  Once it gets in the ring, Chavo goes after DDP's arm, hoping to prevent the Kanyon Cutter.  DDP baits Chavo into a high risk maneuver, which Chavo misses.  DDP hits a top rope lariatooooo.  There is still too much down time and meandering in DDP matches, even though he's clearly improving.  He goes for a back suplex and instead just dumps Chavo on his face.  Didn't even bother going down with it.  Chavo ROGAINS UP.  Diving rana.  Too much time before the cover.  I assume the beat down on Eddie was a way for Eddie to be written off as he went back to Japan.  Chavo gets thrown over both sets of ropes into the second ring.  Tiltawhirl spiral sit out whirly birdy Bateaster Bomb!  Kanyon Cutter for the win.  BANG!  

Harlem Heat, Sherri, and Col. Parker are on CompuSwerve tonight.

TO THE SPECIAL REPORT.  Mean Gene covers the whole nWo saga so far.

Ice Train vs Scott Norton Submission Match

I can't believe this feud has been going on for like 3 months.  I don't think they were even a team for 3 months.  SMOOV shows his power and jumping ability.  Norton shows his DDT ability.  "Ventrilligist" is a new Dustyism.  Their matches have really disappointed me.  I would expect them to be a lot more high impact clubbering than they have been.  Norton gets a cross arm breaker on.  Teddy questions throwing in the towel, but it doesn't matter anyway since only the wrestler can submit.  Norton releases the hold.  SMOOV locks on a Fujiwara arm bar, which is Norton's move.  Teddy gets pulled into the ring.  SMOOV applies a full nelson and Norton submits.  For real?  A full nelson?  

Konnan vs Juventud Guerrera Mexican Heavyweight Championship

Of course Juvi trips over the steps.  Amazing.  Konnan is the Mexican heavyweight champion and is defending his title, yet he doesn't have it with him.  Konnan is a vato, esse.  He immediately dumps Juvi on his head with a release German suplex.  Then he throws him over the rope, which hurts Juvi's ankle or foot.  Idk why, but I literally LOL'd at Mike Tenay saying that Konnan represents the cholos of Mexico.  Juvi hops back in by spring boarding off of 3 sets of ropes.  Konnan is then sent to the floor, where he doesn't try to catch Juvi at all on a suicide dive.  Then he powerbombs Juvi on the floor.  More dives that Konnan doesn't try to catch.  Juvi gets back dropped over one set of ropes, landing stomach first on the next set.  Then he gets powerbombed back into the the ring.  Juvi is killing himself to make Konnan look good.  Konnan no sells a springboard moonsault that totally drills him in the head.  Then hits another powerbomb.  Konnan is so shitty.  He can't even hit Juvi near the head while doing a dropkick off the apron.  His feet are already head level with Juvi.  How do you get negative height on a dropkick?  Konnan is so blown up even though Juvi has been doing all of the work.  Konnan hits a stupidly stiff wheel barrow suplex that Juvi's head just barely missed the bottom rope on.  The match has slowed dramatically.  Jesus Christ  murders Juvi with a completely reckless muscle buster.  The fuck.  Dude has not tried to be safe with Juvi the entire match.  He wins with a bottom rope Splash Mountain.  Title retained, I guess, even though the title hasn't been around except for Konnan's first appearance back in January.  God, what a piece of shit.  

Chris Jericho vs Chris Benoit

Jericho is billed from Calgary.  That's not accurate.  Why are you a liar, Penzer?  One of the nWo demands is Steve McMichael's dog.  Fans are 100% behind Benoit.  It is Horsemen country, after all.  Lion Tamer...on Jericho!  A lot of back and forth stuff.  Triangle dropkick sends Benoit to the floor.  Jericho tries to follow it with an inside out Asai moonsault, but he got no rotation, essentially giving himself an apron powerbomb while smacking Benoit hard in the face on the way down.  It was ugly and Jericho is lucky that he wasn't a few inches to the left or he would have missed the apron entirely.  Dope powerbomb from Jericho in the ring.  Tiger suplex.  Benoit does a back suplex from the apron to the floor.  Mostly just dumping Jericho.  Not falling with it.  Iron Eagle connects.  Benoit controls Jericho on the mat and cuts him off at every turn. And chops him so hard the ring shakes.  Jericho hits a tombstone, but doesn't go for a cover.  Lionsault is blocked, but Jericho lands on his feet.  Lariatoooooooooo.  2 count.  Super rana.  Benoit gets the win with a back superplex.

Rey Mysterio Jr vs Super Calo WCW Cruiserweight Championship

One of the coolest things about Dusty is how much of a mark he is for guys so completely opposite of the style he wrestled and booked.  A loud BORING from one dude about 2 minutes in.  Give it a chance, man.  Calo seems to work the arm.  Rey has a weird bandage on his stomach.  "Well lordy dordy, boolah boolah bloolah."  Dusty.  The fuck are you talking about?  Slingshot powerbomb from Calo gets a 2 count.  Tenay says there hasn't really been a pure lucha match in WCW match. Calo hits a missile dropkick to the floor.  Well, that seems stupid.  He follows that with a tope to a grounded Rey.  Calo has really dominated this, much to the surprise of everyone.  This is getting awkward.  The crowd is super dead for this, when they were super into everything else.  Rey has been grounded the whole match and Calo has not been very impressive in controlling a match.  Calo gets all caught up in the ropes, with Rey and the ref playing tug of war with his body.  Rey won.  "How does he keep his hat on?!"  Big tope from Rey.  He gets dropkicked out of the air coming back in.  No flow to this at all.  Dusty claimed he was 36.  Rey hits a dope springy flippy rana off the apron.  Rey wins with a two ring springboard West Coast Pop.  Title retained.

Harlem Heat vs Nasty Boys WCW Tag Team Championships

There should just be a count down to when they have a match in each ring and put the split screen up.  I am not interested in revisiting this garbage feud.  This whole match is ugly as shit.  Everyone is missing cues and spots and it is garbage.  Sherri hit Knobs with Parker's cane.  Booker got the pin.  Titles retained.

TO THE TENAY.  Mike talks with Macho Man in the back.  He's going to rip hearts out tonight.

Randy Savage vs The Giant

Giant comes out to the Dungeon of Doom music.  He's about half way to the ring before the nWo music plays.  Nick Patrick is the ref in this.  Macho tries a body slam on the floor.  It doesn't work.  Something appears to be going on in the crowd.  "In war, there are no rules."  That's not true at all, Tony.  There are rules of war.  This has so far been Giant holding Macho in rest holds.  Fans go bonkers for Macho slamming Giant.  Macho hits the elbow.  Hogan comes out and distracts Giant.  Macho chases Hulk to the entrance, where The Outsiders were waiting.  Giant has Patrick "distracted" and he misses a 3 on 1 beat down.  They roll him into the ring and Giant gets the win.

TO THE TENAY.  Mike is with Team WCW, who asks which Horseman is going to replace Sting tonight.  No one, apparently.  Flair calls Mike, "Gene", while ranting.  Sting comes into the locker room.  He says it wasn't him on Nitro.  "Stinger, I know it was you.  I can't believe you and I don't believe you."  

WCW vs nWo War Games

The Hostile Takeover theme makes a reappearance.  The nWo is hiding their 4th member until his entrance to the match.  WCW will go with just 3 men.  Arn and Hall begin the match.  This year, the wrestlers will stay in the back until the coin toss is made.  Arn tries to break Hall's shin.  Dusty goes into the psychology of this kind of match.  Patrick is threatening to call the the match right now on Arn, which is definitely not allowed.  Spinebuster!  The nWo has won the coin toss.  No way.  The heel team won the coin toss?  I don't believe it.  I don't think I've ever seen that in a War Games match.  Nash is in.  Arn knocks him on his ass, but is quickly double teamed and sent hard into the cage.  It looks like it actually dislodged part of the cage.  Lex enters for WCW.  He actually came in about 10 seconds early.  Lariatooos for everyone.  Arn recovers and fans erupt for him.  Hogan has entered the match.  Arn hits Nash with a DDT.  It breaks down with Hulk/Arn in one ring and Outsiders vs Lex in the other.  Now they're all in one ring.  The nWo is in control.  It's Ric Flair!  He baits Hogan into the ring by himself.  Flair gets his international object out and goes to town on Hogan.  Low blows to both Outsiders.  Figure four on Hogan.  Sting has entered the match for the nWo.  Nash jackknifes Lex and it almost goes the way of Sid/Pillman.   Outsider's Edge on Arn.  Leg drop on Flair.  30 seconds for the 4th WCW member.  Stinger Splashes.  Wait.  THIS IS STING!  IT'S STING!  Stinger Splashes for everyone.  Sting has taken the entire nWo out by himself.  "Is that good enough for you right there?  Is that proof enough?"  Sting walks out on the match.  In the confusion, the nWo has regained control.  Stink puts Lex in the Scorpion Deathlock.  Hogan locks on a chin lock at the same time.  Lex is unresponsive and the match is called.  The nWo has won War Games.  Lex tries to crawl to the back, calling for Sting.  

The attack continues after the match.  Flair and Arn fight back.  Macho shows up OUTTA NOWHERE and drags Hulk back to the ring.  The Giant follows and attacks Macho.  4 on 1.  Chokeslam.  "Sometimes you just wonder what the hell is going on."  Liz comes to the ring to call them off of Macho. She lays herself over Macho, so Hulk spray paints her.  Giant starts barking.  Loud HOGAN SUCKS chants.  Giant spray paints the mat.  Hulk spits on Liz's head.  Macho gets tagged anyway.  Another chokeslam.  Then they invade the announce booth during the wrap up.  As Macho is helped to the back, some fan asks Liz out on a date.  Truly, a dark day in the history of this great sport.

Pretty decent show.  Rey/Calo was weirdly bad, though.  Zero flow, not exciting.  Calo wasn't ready for a 15 minute PPV match.  Nastys/HH was ugly as shit, but nothing else was offensive.  If only WCW had trusted Sting.  He never gave them a reason not to trust him, but at the first sign of distress, they stopped trusting him.  He proved that he could be the deciding factor in taking down the nWo, but WCW being so selfish bit them in the ass.  Really kind of an allegory for Sting's whole WCW career, where he'd get shunted down the card for whatever WWF cast off came to town.

WCW Fall Brawl 1995

Even in the opening to his PPV, Eric can't help but reference Vince's product.  Some things never change.  Thankfully, Tony and Bobby are calling this show.  No Eric, no Mongo.  We're told that earlier today, the Giant ran over Hulk's motorcycle with a monster truck.  No video evidence is shown.

Johnny B. Badd vs Brian Pillman

Pillman's music is...awful.  And amazing.  This is a number one contender match for the US Championship I believe.  Tony says they're friends, so I guess they got over that time when Johnny put a big kiss sticker on Brian's face and Brian punched him, turning heel in the process.  Oh my god, Badd just botched throwing a frisbee into the crowd.  What an auspicious start to the show.  Johnny's entrance goes well after his music stopped.  This also gets a Buffer intro for some reason.  Brian looks to have an attitude tonight and the fans are solidly on Badd's side.  However, Code of Honor is followed.  Wtf is Pillman doing with his gear?  They look like cow print jeans with tassels and cowboy shit on them.  I think there is a glittery dollar sign on one leg as well.  Johnny seems to have the edge in the feeling out process.  Hmm, interesting line from Heenan.  He said he knows the Giant is here because he saw footprints and thought they belonged to the YETAAAY.  Could that be foreshadowing?  Some solid, if exhibitiony mat work.  Pillman nearly scores the win with a lucha roll up.  The first big move is a head scissors out of the corner from Brian.  After a roll up, he settles back down on the mat.  In theory, Pillman has the advantage at everything besides punching.  Better on the mat, better at flying, more experience.  Yet it has been pretty even.  A lot of arm drags and side headlocks.  Brian gets out of a headlock with the Robinson Backbreaker.  A good bit stiffer than any I've seen Robinson do.  The first punch comes from Brian, after breaking a submission.  He pulls hair and taunts Johnny.  Then gets a tilt a whirl backbreaker for his troubles.  Awkward Romero Special...thing from Johnny.  Tempers start to flare in both men.  Badd has been busted open above the left eye.  I'm not sure how it happened.  After a flurry of punches, Pillman leaves the ring and then comes back asking for a handshake.  Johnny isn't falling for it.  Pillman is pretty close to have being fully turned, since he's biting and pulling hair.  Johnny hits a Kidman-esque outside in leg drop.  Both try a leap frog at the same time and collide in the air.  Both men get up, but both are right back down after a headbutt from Pillman.  Fans are really into Johnny B. Badd.  Can't really figure it out.  5 minutes remaining in the time limit.  Pillman gets dumped to the floor and Johnny flies out with a pescado.  He gets caught with a dropkick right under the chin coming off the top.  Somehow he was the one to recover first and hits a Bateaster Bomb for 2.  Time is quickly running out.  Tombstone from Pillman with 3 minutes left.  Johnny counters the tornado DDT and locks on a...grounded corning hold.  Pretty sure that's what it's called.  Stupid.  He lets go with the 2 minute warning.  Pillman does a Russian leg sweep into an inverted Koji Clutch.  Then a grounded abdominal stretch.  Why would you try holds like that with 60 seconds left?  You should be going for impact moves and roll ups.  30 seconds.  KO punch!  Brian was under the ropes.  Pillman hits Air Pillman as time runs out.  Time limit draw.  God, the time CLEARLY ran out, as Buffer was counting down.  The bell didn't ring for another 5 or 6 seconds as they had to go through with the "pinning as the time runs out" spot.  Nick Patrick says the match will continue and Buffer stumbles over how Nick was authorized by the board to extend the match.  He made that shit up on the spot, Buffer.  Johnny is pretty blown up.  I doubt he has had a match this long in his career.  The brawl on the floor and trade sleepers.  "HEY GET YOUR FIST OPEN!"  Johnny very nearly wins with a top rope sunset flip.  His leg actually blocked the ref's arm from the 3 count.  Johnny finally gets the win with a super frankensteiner.  NO HE DIDN'T!!!  All this for a secondary title?  My how times have changed.  Tornado DDT can't get the win.  Both guys have hit every finisher they have.  Pillman gets launched from the second rope into the guard rail.  That was rude.  Tope con HELLO.  That's actually one of his finishers.  How stupid is that?  A finisher that you hit on the outside of the ring and have to throw the guy in the ring to win.  Doesn't work.  This is going to go on forever.  Pillman tries a suicide dive deep into the aisle that mostly misses.  Both collide on a cross body.  Badd gets the pin and is the number one contender to Sting's US Championship.  It wasn't bad or anything, but who the hell had the idea to put Johnny B. Badd in a 30 minute match?  


TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE.  Gene talks to Ric Flair about his match with Arn Anderson.  A match no one thought would ever happen.  Flair was adopted, had no siblings.  Arn came from a broken home.  But they bonded.  Now that bond is broken.  And it all it happens in Horsemen country.  Gene asks if he hates Arn.  No.  The problem is he loves Arn, but one of them is going to have to explain to their sons who is the better man.  And Ric Flair is the better man.

Sgt. Craig Pittman vs Cobra

Cobra is NOT a Marine, but is in fact a CIA special agent.  A spy.  Who is publicly wrestling on world wide PPV.  Pittman doesn't come out to his music.  Instead, a young recruit (actually The Artist Futurely Known As The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea) comes out and distracts Cobra.  Pittman repels from the ceiling, Sting style, and attacks from behind.  He wins in about a minute with a the most lifeless cross arm breaker.  I remember my shock when I saw a copy of friend Hickson Gracie's CHOKE documentary and my surprise that Pittman was an actual fighter.  Despite being a legitimate fighter, he has the weakest looking strikes and submissions this side of Jimmy Hart.

TO SATURDAY NIGHT.  After a loss to Randy Savage, Paul Orndorff had a melt down in his locker room.  Cameras caught it all.  He doesn't even know if he's Mr. Wonderful anymore.  Suddenly, Gary Spivey of the Psychic Connection Network arrived.  He had a vision that Paul wasn't okay.  He sees great things in Paul's future.  "YOU are Mr. Wonderful.  They call you 'Mr. Wonderful.'".  I forgot to mention that Mr. Spivey wears a gray/white afro and what appears to be a shag carpet suit.  He gives Mr. Wonderful his mojo back.  I can't believe this was shown in full on the PPV, and I also can't believe this happened at all.  "You are Mr. Wonderful.  You are so very wonderful.  And you know it, too."


DDP vs The Renegade WCW TV Championship

Oh gross.  This is still going on?  This feud really went on for 3 months?  A headbutt sends DDP to the floor, into the ring post, and into the crowd.  Brain says, "He's lucky he doesn't kill himself", which is awkward considering Renegade killed himself.  DDP was SUCH a dirt bag.  Christ.  Disgusting.  How the fuck did he ever land Kim?  Even pre-boob/nose job?  Renegade makes a mistake trying a cross body and goes flying into the ropes.  DDP steals Macho's clothesline on the top rope move.  Kim is sick of having to hold up a 10 sign for DDP moves.  If that's all she has to do to be with a multimillionaire, she should suck it up and lift those couple of ounces in the air.  Hard Baba-style falling lariato from DDP.  They say this is Renegade's longest match about 5 minutes in, which definitely isn't true.  His last 2 PPV matches were longer.  Renegade hits his own lariatoooo.  And another.  DDP hurt his back.  This might have lead him to yoga.  Renegade hits a hand spring elbow.  Muta he is not.  Warrior he is not.  Anyone with face paint he is not.  Float over DDT OUTTA NOWHERE from DDP.  Kim has a very strange reaction to it.  Kanyon Cutter is countered.  Maxx Muscle gets on the apron.  DDP is thrown into him.  Renegade dives onto Maxx instead of DDP.  Kanyon Cutter!  BANG!  New champion.  Also, at this point, DDP's music was the Jimmy Hart Version of ROCK AND ROLL PART 2 (aka the HEY song).


Harlem Heat vs Bunkhouse Buck/Dick Slater WCW Tag Team Championships

Earlier today, it seems that Sherri and Col. Parker finally banged.  You see, for a while, Parker was amorous towards Sherri.  And then at the COTC, Sherri fell on her head and started chasing Parker.  Yes, that's the angle.  WOOD Sherri.  All day, all night.  "Dirty Dick" is my favorite nick name.  Booker and Dirty Dick start.  I don't think these teams mesh well at all.  And the Parker/Sherri angle is bad and weird.  And kind of offensive.  "Like it or not, they're not a bunch of thugs."  Yikes.  Why the black guys gotta be thugs?  Dick Slater is THE MOST blatant Terry Funk rip off I've ever seen.  People say Dean Ambrose today is doing a lot of Terry Funk stuff, but Slater was to Terry Funk as Chris Benoit was to Dynamite Kid.  It's creepy how they completely aped every idiosyncrasy and movement.  But Dynamite was better than Benoit and Funk was better than Slater.  Not that any of this matters.  There is a match going on god damn it.  I should probably pay attention to it.  But Harlem Heat never really had good matches because Stevie wasn't a good pro wrestler.  And he completely no sells the Funk punch combo.  I think Col. Parker has a boner for Sherri right now and isn't even paying attention to the match.  It takes a while, but Buck and Slater are finally in control.  Dick piledrives Book.  Buck throws Book over the top while the ref was distracted.  This was the second time apparently.  I missed the first time.  This is a terrible review/recap.  I'm sorry if you're reading this.  Book tries a bronco buster to a standing Buck.  He misses and lands on his head.  Psychosis did that spot a lot and I have no idea what they're trying to do.  Even if they hit the move, they're most likely going to bounce off and land on their heads.  Really no upside to hitting that move.  Book sells the Texas punch combo.  Buck hits a gnarly SHOOT dead lift slam thing.  A lot of power for a dude who doesn't look like he'd do power moves.  Really not much going on here.  Both teams are heels and fans don't really support one more than the other.  Pretty indifferent to the whole thing.  Just like me.  Sherri and Parker get wacky in ring 2.  Sherri's about to give a blowjob live on PPV.  OUTTA NOWHERE, the Nasty Boys arrive and lay out Dirty Dick.  Harlem Heat wins.  New champions.  Both teams are not happy with this budding romance.  Sherri claims it was all just ring psychology.  


TO THE MEAN GENE.  Gene gets some words with Buck and Parker after the match.  Buck says this is all bullshit.  However, Col. Parker is serious about that girl and he's in charge here.  He'll get them a rematch.  His heart is soaring like an eagle!  "I walk heavy and hard."  Was he talking about walking with a boner?

TO THE MEAN GENE.  Gene gets some words with Double A.  We get a highlight package of Arn and Flair.  It only really covers the last couple of months.  

Arn Anderson vs Ric Flair

The match you'd never think you'd see.  Much of the roster is out in the crowd to watch this.  Just the idea of this is bizarre.  Everyone knows Arn is better than Flair.  Definitely better in the ring.  Very different promo styles, but many prefer Arn's.  And in the opening moments, Arn shows Flair up multiple times.  Arn goes to work on Flair's arm.  Ric takes offense to it and gets slapped in the mouth.  Again.  The crowd is pretty solidly behind Arn in this.  Even Brain thinks Flair is being a jerk and needs to apologize first to Arn.  Arn keeps that Anderson trademark limb work.  Flair hits a big chop that stuns Arn.  He goes after Arn's leg.  Arn goes up top.  He ends up doing a sleeper, then hitting a high knee to the arm from the second rope.  Arn uses the ring post.  This arm work is more of an Ole/Lars trademark than Arn specifically, since Arn doesn't really do an arm based submission finisher or anything.  It's more of a message to remind Flair of who Arn is.  Holy shit would a loud chop from Flair.  Flair Flip.  He low bridges Arn after that, luring him in.  Then he comes off the top with an ax handle to the floor.  The atmosphere for this is so strange.  This is deep in Horsemen country and at first the crowd seemed solidly behind Arn, but they cheer for Flair whenever he does anything.  Both guys are the heel and the face at the same time.  Ric has no issue cheating against Arn.  I would hope Arn has no issue with cheating, but I haven't seen much from him.  Arn throws a closed fist, with Pee Wee catches.  Flair uses this to throw a cheap shot.  These guys might as well be brothers, yet Ric has no problem taking the same short cuts he would against Sting or Hogan.  Back drop on the floor!   Flair hits a suplex on the floor in response.  Brain brings up a valid point:  What does winning prove for either man and is it worth ruining the friendship forever?  Flair decks Arn in the ring.  Probably the hardest punch he ever threw.  Flair Flip.  He gets stuck in the tree of woe and Arn goes to town on him.  Arn calls for the DDT.  Flair held onto the ropes and Flair Flops.  Ric baited Arn into it.  He goes up and gets thrown off.  I'm SHOCKED.  Arn fights off the figure four for a while, but Ric gets it on.  Flair SPITS at Arn while in the figure four, which fires Arn up to reverse the hold.  Arn struggles to get up and Flair chop blocks him.  Small package!  2 count.  Flair throws a series of punches.  Arn can't stand.  BRIAN PILLMAN jumps on the apron, screaming at Ric to finish Arn.  Ric blows him off, so Brian kicks Ric in the head.  DDT!  Arn Anderson just pined Ric Flair!  The fans who were cheering Arn before are now booing.  Brain is really broken up about the whole situation.


A TERRIBLE video package airs before the War Games.  It's Kevin Sullivan being weird, with weird editing and nonsense words.  Included is Sullivan playing with dead flowers, hitting a Hulk Hogan toy with a shovel, and in a normal voice saying "You're going to get buried".  We're finally shown the video of Giant in a monster truck running over Hogan's bike that was talked about at the start of the show.  We then get ANOTHER big video package, which features Hulk saying he feels the aura of Andre and Hulk/Sting/Macho/Vader playing with war toys.  And then footage of Lex from the 80s.


TO THE MEAN BROTHERJACKDUDE..  Gene gets works with the Hulkamaniacs.  Hulk says they just drank a few gallons of Agent Orange.  OH SHIT, Hulk drops DTA: Don't Trust Anybody a year before Real Ass Stone Cold.  

Hulkamaniacs vs Dungeon of Doom War Games

A main event with Hogan, Earthquake, Beefcake, Luger, Kamala, and Meng.  In 1995.  Brutal.  Not a chance Sting and Macho can save this.  If the Hulkamaniacs win, Hulk gets Sullivan alone for 5 minutes.  Sting and Quake start the match.  Imagine how shitty a team is when a 400 pounder has the best cardio on the team.  500lbs.  Allegedly.  He's The Shark now.  Avalanche was too close to Earthquake I suppose.  All those natural disasters.  Maybe he should have gone by The Earth Shaker.  Sting hits a slam early on.  A second one ends in a squashing.  Beefcake is the third man in.  HE MAIN EVENTED STARRCADE.  Unbolievable.  I can't believe Beefcake did anything after 1989.  Do you really want me to call this shit?  Obviously it's garbage.  Look at the roster.  At most, there are 3 guys who are going to do anything good.  More like two.  And those two are on the same team.  KAMALA.  IN 1995.  In 1993 WWF he was out of place and out dated.  BRUTUS BEEFCAKE.  IN 1995.   Lex accidentally hits Macho, so they start fighting and Sting tries to break them apart as Meng gives the DoD a 4 on 3 advantage.  This might be the worst War Games in history.  A history that includes 1994 with a zombie Dusty and the Nasty Boys, 1998 with the 3 teams solo shit, and 2000 with Russo's Revenge.  Just know that this is terrible.  Hogan makes Beefcake tap to a camel clutch.  Hulk now gets 5 minutes with Kevin Sullivan.  After the match, the Giant hops into the ring and breaks Hulk's neck. 



Show wasn't offensive.  It was mostly okay.  Flair/Arn was good, if strange.  Johnny B. Badd was in a 30 minute match that wasn't awful.  The only truly bad thing was War Games itself.  Which means DDP and Renegade had a better match than one that had Sting and Macho in it.  Didn't really have the same production or spark as what Nitro had.  It kind of felt like Nitro and the PPV were done by different teams.  Nitro being a new set of guys and the PPV being the same group that were doing PPVs in 1993-1994.


WCW Fall Brawl 1993

This is the most dangerous night of the year! This is also the first time Fall Brawl has been a PPV, despite the name being used for COTC in the past.

Tony and Jesse throw things to Bischoff...who then throws it to Michael Buffer.

Lord Steven Regal vs Ricky Steamboat WCW TV Championship

Can't ask for a better way to start a show. Dragon's WCW music was so rad. Should have used that for his comeback run in 2009 instead of reusing Ultimo Dragon's WWE theme. "The very dapper..." Lol. That's part of Buffer's intro. The very dapper Lord Steven Regal. Steamboat's ribs are taped up due to an attack from Regal the night before. Dragon ain't playing and attacks before the bell. He tries to brawl. He gets too animated and the ribs are just too painful to keep it up. Regal, of course, zones right in on them. Steamer then is able to take things to the mat and do some holds. You know, the kind of shit you'd expect out of these two. Arm work from Dragon, but those ribs are killing him and it is only a few minutes in. A STEAMBOAT SUCKS chant starts up. What the fuck? Fuck these fans. Still, even with the injury, Steamboat's technique is able to keep him in control on the mat. BACKLUND LIFT! My fave. And Dragon is able to hold on and roll through into a short arm scissors victory roll. A turning point spot was a back body drop from Regal. Imagine that today. This is very basic, but in the best way. Both guys have points of interest to attack and stick to it. Steamboat puts on a masterclass of selling, as he never stops selling the ribs, even on offense. God damn Sir Williamn blasts Steamboat with the umbrella. Regal wins with a German suplex. New champion! I liked this a whole lot.

TO THE BISCHOFF. Gross. The Nasty Boys. FUCK. They've got a big secret for the Horsemen: The secret is that Knobs is a big fat piece of shit.

Big Sky vs Charlie Morris

Big Sky is Tyler Mane, best known for being Sabertooth in X-Men and Michael Myers in the Rob Zombie Halloweens. He also has a serious case of gynecomastia going on. I'm not saying he was on steroids, but it doesn't look good, uce. Charlie Norris is a Native American wrestler, I assume WCW's attempt to cash in on Tatanka or something, because this dude looks and is terrible. WE WANT FLAIR chants start about a minute in. Dreadfully boring. No idea why something like this would be on PPV. This was a WCW Main Event opener at best. Charlie wins with a bicycle kick.

TO THE DUNLAP. Scott Dunlap was a fan with spastic cerebral palsy who won a chance to be an interviewer for WCW. He spoke with Bulldog and was actually a better interviewer than Eric Bischoff. It was actually Bischoff, though the Starlight Foundation, that got Scott the chance to do this. Scott also got to interview Ric Flair. And as of the Summer of 2014, he's still a huge wrestling fan and got to meet Flair again.

The Equalizer/Paul Orndorff vs Marcus Alexander Bagwell/ 2 Cold Scorpio

This is an added bonus match. I would love to know how The Equalizer ever got hired. Everything about him is terrible. He looks like a fat, bootleg Hogan mixed in with a bootleg Berzerker. Not even a bootleg Bruiser Brody. A bootleg Bruiser Brody bootleg. His ring work is atrocious on every level, as is his promo work. This is trash. I'll be super bummed if this show peaked in the opener. Scorp wins with the 450. Get this shit out of here.

TO THE BISCHOFF. Regal and Sir William are the guests. Bischoff is always so lost. Hard to imagine this guy would be able to take WCW as high as he did.

Shanghai Pierce vs Ice Train

SMOOV. Man. What the fuck has happened to this show? "And we mean big EVERYWHERE." Did Tony just say SMOOV has a big ol' dad dick? Ventura really does NOT like Texas. This is awful. Fuck this. Fuck the Godwinns. Why did Henry Godwinn wear a mask? SMOOV won with a powerslam. God. This show has been dog shit for the past 40 minutes. 

Nasty Boys vs Paul Roma/Arn Anderson WCW Tag Team Championships

FUCK. "SHUT YOUR FACE YOU FUCKIN' IDIOTS!" Knobs. Christ. Right into mic? Jesse is obsessed with Missy Hyatt, who is now managing the Nasties. He keeps trying to fluster Tony by saying things like, "I recognize those pecs" and "Do you think she's a natural blond?". Apparently a fan throws some money at Missy. Because she's a woman, so she must be a stripper. The fans now chant for Arn to break Sags's leg. Some savages deep in the heart of Texas. A TAKE IT OFF chant for Missy with fans in the front row waving more money in her face. Terrible. No way, is that a CRACKWHORE chant? Holy shit, it is. In 1993 and not even from the scumbag ECW fans. These fans are real sacks of shit. Horsemen work over Sags' leg for a while. This is so shitty whenever Arn isn't in the ring. Even then, he's still in the ring with a Nasty Boy. Arn can't hit the Vader Bomb even as a face. Oh my god, please fucking end this. I swear it has been going on for 20 minutes. "Kind of a hush over the crowd here in Houston." Probably because they've been watching the fucking Nasty Boys for an hour. After a month as FIP, Arn makes the hot tag to Roma, who promptly loses the titles for his team. New champions. FUCK THIS SHOW.

A recap of the Lost in Cleveland angle. An angle so stupid that it got retconned as being an angle within an angle designed to make Vader think Cactus was no longer a threat.

Yoshi Kwan vs Cactus Jack

God damn, Yoshi Kwan might be the most offensive stereotypical gimmick of all time. Dude is literally in yellow face, with every possible stereotype of Asians imaginable. All of them.  And he's a white dude. Now, when you are the manager of Vader, why would you bother with a scrub like Yoshi Kwan? I felt the same about Bobby Heenan managing Andre/Perfect/Rude and then still fucking with Hercules, Haku, Tama, and the Red Rooster. A short brawl. Everything COMPLETELY goes to shit when, somehow Harley, Cactus, Yoshi, and Nick Patrick all manage to botch a spot at the same time. Literally, everyone involved in the match botched at the same time, like a shockwave of botch came down from the heavens. Cactus wins with the double arm DDT.

Rick Rude vs Ric Flair WCW International Championship

This angle makes no sense. I refuse to believe any woman would chose Ric Flair over Rick Rude. That's just ridiculous. Rude pulls one of his old tricks, having Fifi on his tights. You look at Flair, saggy, jiggly, soft, terrible hair, big nose, bad teeth. Then you look at Rude, jacked and cut up, solid as a rock, great hair, masculine as can be, perfect teeth. Come on. Rude goes for the top rope knee drop way early and pays. Ric Flair hits a top rope move! Jesse gets his mic cut for continuing to shit talk women. The person in charge of mics was a woman, Sarah Lee. Flair focuses on Rude's arm, which is a weird game plan for a guy whose big move is a figure four. Although, it could lessen the force of the Rude Awakening, so this is one of the few matches were Ric Flair is actually using psychology. Maybe. It could be just one of those, "work the arm to kill time for 20 minutes" kind of things. I mean, Rude missed the knee drop right at the start and Flair went right to the knee and then...switched to the arm. So, who knows. Both men fly over the ropes when Flair tries a cross body against them.  What did you expect to happen, Ric? This is where the tide turned. What a dumb dumb Ric is. Rude has controlled the pace completely with submissions since that bump. This isn't doing anything for me. Much, much too slow, almost no character work from either guy. This is definitely a match that sounds better on paper than in practice. And it's not like it is bad. It's just...there. Flair BITES out of the Rude Awakening and then hits a garbage version of the move himself. And now, after 20 some minutes, Flair decides to go back to the leg work. Flair doing planchas and shit isn't going to suddenly make it interesting. Flair kicks out of the super knee drop. That's bullshit. That's an instant death move. Fifi slaps Rude. He then forces himself on her and brings her into the ring. Figure four. Nick Patrick is distracted with Fifi and misses Rude using an international object to win the international championship. New champion! Rick Rude is finally a world champion! 

Harlem Heat/Sid Vicious/Big Van Vader vs Sting/Davey Boy Smith/Dustin Rhodes/Shockmaster WAR GAMES

Shockmaster is replacing Hawk. What a weird replacement. Vader starts for the heel team. Dustin Rhodes, injured and pissed, jumps into the cage for the faces despite his team trying to hold him back. That Dustin/Vader match was DOPE. As good as any of the Vader/Sting matches. Fans went bonkers when Goldy just bodied Vader. Interesting strategy to put Vader, the biggest guy on his team, into the match first. You'd think Booker would have been the first in for the heels. Straight Shooting Stevie Ray is the next in. Sting enters for the faces. He's EN FUEGO. This is boring as shit. Like this whole show besides the opener. Dustin is covered in blood. Sid enters the match. Bulldog enters. Dustin has wrestled the majority of the match without a boot. He took it off to hit Vader with during the opening period and never put it back on. Shockmaster enters and the match beyond BEGINS. SUBMIT or SURRENDER! Lol, Tugboat wins with a bear hug on Booker like 40 seconds after he entered. Faces win. Just trash.  

Terrible show. Everything after the opener should be skipped. MAYBE watch Flair/Rude, but that match would have been 100% better if it was 10 minutes shorter. Those two just did not mesh. The difference in work rate between 1992 and 1993 is insane. There are a few vestiges of 1992 around, but somehow they make it even more depressing.