ECW on Sci-Fi 8/22/06

To start the show, Torrie Wilson and Kelly Kelly have a dance/strip off. Before Kelly can get her robe off, Mike Knox and Test arrived to ruin things.

Torrie Wilson in bikini.gif

Mike Knox/Test/Kelly Kelly vs The Sandman/Tommy Dreamer/Torrie Wilson

Every fucking week. I believe this is 5 weeks straight of some kind of pairing of these dudes. Adding in two non-wrestlers sure won't help things. LMAO the lights randomly went off. It really is ECW. CATFIGHT! STINKFACE! Obviously, Tommy works most of the match. Tommy pinned Knox with a DDT. This is the first time they've been booked to look good this entire feud.  

Torrie Wilson stinkface to Kelly Kelly.gif
Test Mike Knox irish whip Tommy Dreamer.gif
Sandman swanton to Mike Knox.gif
Tommy Dreamer DDT to Mike Knox.gif

TO THE BACK. Paul Heyman hypes Big Show up, but doesn't want him to give Sabu a rematch. 

TO THE CLASSROOM. Matt Striker uses a bunch of big words because he's a smarty pants and wrestling fans are dang ol' dumb dumbs. WWE definitely needed a Dean Douglas redux. 

Matt Striker winks.gif

Kevin Thorn vs Balls Mahoney EXTREME RULES

Lmao at Balls doing a head kick spot where he has to have the guy bent all the way over and still barely gets his foot to the head. And stiffs the shit out of Thorn on it. This seems like I must have missed a week of feuding or something. As Balls went for his chair, Ariel BIT HIS LEG (cuz she's a vampire, you see), Thorn punted the chair into his face, then won with the hanging stunner.

Balls Mahoney kicks Kevin Thorn in head.gif
Kevin Thorn kicks chair into Balls Mahoney.gif

TO THE REJECT. "The system is oppressive." Man, fuck Shannon Moore.

CM Punk vs CW Anderson

CDub OUTTA NOWHERE. Punk continues to get good reactions each week, despite being an unknown in most areas where ROH didn't run on the regular. Tazz puts him over huge as a big star in the making. CW nearly won with the spinebuster, but Punk won shortly after with the anaconda vise.

CW Anderson spinebuster to CM Punk.gif

TO THE BACK. Paul Heyman talks to the newest member of the ECW roster...HARDCORE HOLLY. Lmao. 

Rob Van Dam vs Danny Doring

An easy win for RVD. After the match, Hardcore Holly came out and blasted both guys with a chair, then hit RVD with the Alabama Slam. 

Danny Doring twisting slam to RVD.gif
Hardcore Holly chair shot to Danny Doring.gif

TO THE BACK. Rene Dupree brushes his hair. His gyno is off the charts.

Big Show vs Sabu ECW Championship

A Summerslam rematch, this time under normal rules. Show demolishes Sabu until a ref bump. Sabu then uses a chair about 5 different times, but the ref is dead. A second ref comes in, but Big Show kicks out. Sabu gets the ring bell and hits Show with it right in front of the ref, getting disqualified. Shoe is busted open ,and Sabu continues to blast him with the bell, the last of which sent Show over the top rope through a table. There was a LARGE puddle of blood around Show's head on the mats.   

Big Show lariat to Sabu.gif
Big Show fall away slam to Sabu.gif
Sabu top rope chair shot to Big Show.gif
Sabu hits Big Show with ring bell through table.gif

No fucking wonder Show needed a whole year off after this run. I think my biggest complaint about these shows is that the replays always look much better than the live shots. Why they couldn't use the replay angles on the lives shots when they showed them every week and clearly looked better is beyond me. I also want to lol at the idea of ECW now having a French joke character, a member of 3 Count, and Sparky Plugg himself, but that's actually more in line with OG ECW than a lot of things.